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Poryg

Um... Biology perhaps?

dragoonwys

For people who actually want babies, yeah you gotta get to it before it gets tricky. But, not everyone is looking to have those lol

Poryg

Then you can't wonder people bwill poke at you for that

FleshToDust

They don't want you to grow old and alone.

dragoonwys

Its well meaning yes, but shouldn't get hasty if you're looking to not grow old and alone. Rushing into decisions on this is where most divorces happen, which becomes what its supposed to prevent.

SpaceBot

You can be as careful as possible and still get a divorce though. There are tons of people in happy marriages that quickly wed.

dragoonwys

Of course! There are people who are quickly wed and have long happy marriages. Just saying that, I personally don't think its smart to make a decision like after knowing someone for just a month.

SpaceBot

I agree with that ^_^
I think society plays a big part on pushing the stereotype that you need to get married and have kids "because that's what you should do".

Sharm

A month is a bit short, even for me, and I believe in love at first sight (because of my grandparents). But I think people get too caught up in time when it comes to these things. Rushing won't fix problems that already exist, going slow when you know the other person is right for you can cause uncertainty and create problems from there.

Poryg

Well, I'd be more worried about other things than rushing a relationship. Because yes, divorce rates have skyrocketed, but rushing the decisions are actually a minority of the cases. People change and you can't stop that. People are also pretty busy nowadays, so not spending time with family can feed some cheating time.

dragoonwys

XD Its unfortunate that there's still that 'should do' mentality around. One less couple isn't going to make the earth stop spining.

And yeah, the time frame is a middle ground you'll have to strike with whoever is going on the path with you. Its different for everyone. I can't instantly remember someone's birthday after a month of learning it, let alone get a good gauge of someone.

Poryg

Not to mention, in past as women usually lived as housewives and men made money, a woman was kind of dependent on man's income. Nowadays as women are more independent, divorces are simply more prone to happen.

Poryg

Marriage was usually more of a political thing anyway and if people wanted to live apart, they did. Children of sin were of no rarity in past, even though for religious and political reasons it was taboo. Nowadays since the Church is a "supplement" to our culture, in some cases marriage is just a cultural residue. In fact even I'd be a child of sin 150 years ago... Yet I'm baptized.

The Stranger

I don't know. It's bloody idiotic, though. You also have those mothers who keep pushing their sons and daughters into relationships just because they want grandchildren. If someone doesn't want to get married then leave them be. It's fine to not be in a relationship. It's fine not to have children.

Sharm

I don't love the pushing to get grandchildren. It's not like I don't want to get married and have kids, it's just that I've never had the right opportunities. The people my mom would push me onto were all terrible too. Some people have this mind set of "If they're both single, they're perfect for each other!" and don't care about anything else, and my mom is one of them.

Kupotepo

social achievement pussure perhaps.....

Sharm

It's not like I don't get it. There's a type of happiness that can only be found in a family setting, and I know plenty of people who have hated all children except their own, so there's a bit of "you just don't know what you're missing" along with wanting other people to have that happiness too. But sheesh, let people live their own lives and make their own choices.

Sharm

I don't know anything about Malaysian culture, but in the asian cultures I know a little about there's also an added emphasis on responsibility, and the responsibility of family is suuuuuper important. There's supposed to be this special kind of satisfaction from doing well in that responsibility. That might add to the push after only one month.

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