Either my brain's mush or its my keyboard's fault. I'd like to blame the keyboard though.
^get a chocolate lab puppy, make sure said lab gets all exercise required to be tired enough not to trash your house. When lab grows up and mellows out go for same amount of runs together even though your house doesn't depend on it anymore. Cardio solved. As for weight training, the paint can thing seems like it would work... or visit your local scrapyard and find odd metal pieces that can be welded together into the semblance of a proper weight.
Or get a part time job on a farm, I've never been so fit as I was as a teen working my summers away on a nearby farm.
Fill 2 milk jugs with sand and tie a pole in between them
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