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kovak
kovak
We had something before some deep **** happen to her and now i have to face that this had nothing to do with my rejection
kovak
kovak
Like i did nothing wrong but i lost anyway. Life is like this.
kovak
kovak
Now i'm stuck working with her till our contract ends.
kovak
kovak
My mental state is a mess, i dunno what to do and i don't wanna work with her. I need this job yet, i can't hunt a new one without loosing a year and i have no savings.
starlight dream
starlight dream
@kovak I think most people in that situation would feel the same way you do. It makes much sense.
Dalph
Dalph
You have to forget her if she's not interested and you have to start seeing her as a friend or just a work colleague (no matter what), or else her whole presence will be very toxic for you. Don't do this to yourself.
You will find someone else eventually.
starlight dream
starlight dream
@kovak Putting the job on the line over her is not a good option. You need to keep yourself strong at this point which means keeping your job, it has more benefits for your health than disadvantages.
In my experience it's been easier to get over someone when another person became my romantic focus.
starlight dream
starlight dream
Try to give attention to other women and don't be scared to fall in love with someone else. Allow yourself to be emotionally single again. <3
The Stranger
The Stranger
@starlight dream I don't think it's going to be that easy for him. The ending of this relationship has affected him deeply, and some people truly do struggle with rejection and loss. I wouldn't be able to work with someone, or even be around, someone I once loved. It would be impossible for me. So, I understand what @kovak is going through. :(
Matseb2611
Matseb2611
Is there any way you can ask your superiors to reassign you to work with someone else? On the other hand, if you stick around and go through this tough barrier right now, things can get easier because you'll become used to it. The things that scare or hurt us deeply, eventually lose their severity if we're exposed to them regularly. But you have to be in the right mindset of course.
Matseb2611
Matseb2611
Try to enter the mindset of a challenge acceptance, a hunter or a hero taking up a difficult task, rather than a victim who is being defensive. Think you're a game character and you have to overcome this tough challenge, and every day you manage to face it is a small victory that's eventually leading to a bigger win in the end.
Matseb2611
Matseb2611
This stuff has been scientifically proven. You have to see yourself as a hunter rather than a prey. You are not weak. You are an individual with plenty of skills and talents, and any flaws you might have - well, every single person has flaws and problems. Majority of them just hide it. A tonne of people have anxiety, depression, or other mental conditions, and it usually comes out in their private time.
Matseb2611
Matseb2611
Lastly, I made this video a few months ago with some lifestyle tips on helping to battle anxiety and depression. Maybe it can help too. https://youtu.be/k53M8x2AOLM
kovak
kovak
This video helps a lot. Thx for the words guys. I have to forget her and focus on another person and myself.

This situation is delaying my project and i want to finish it so much since i'm not alone at all...working with other people should stimulate me to keep going but this is not what's going on.
The Stranger
The Stranger
kovak
kovak
The Stranger
The Stranger
Explains why I missed it. I can't see anything he posts.
starlight dream
starlight dream
@The Stranger I relate with Kovak's situation as it's happened to me. It was painful & I wanted to avoid the person.
It got easier when I met someone else I liked. We don't control who we fall for or when, so it can't be planned but being open brings possibilities.

@kovak Are your teammates really motivated in the project at this point? Maybe they're going through a slowdown too and can't motivate you enough?^^
The Stranger
The Stranger
starlight dream
starlight dream
@The Stranger Being hurt over 1 person or 2 that won't reciprocate the love is the same type of pain(for me anyway)but taking a chance is the only way to find someone with who it can work.And it helps to cut off previous emotional bounds.

But again this is my exper. It's different for others, for sure.Considering how single I am,I've been more on the suffering side of things.But feelings end up improving each time.

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