A Strider's Tale (Demo Available)

[bentleym33]

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

INTRODUCTION​

 ​

 ​

 ​

First of all, sorry for crudeness of this post. I don't really have the time and skills to add all the bells and whistles of the other threads. ​

 ​

I'm making my first RPG using VX Ace and although it isn't too long at the moment, I just wanted some opinions. I'm not too great with story telling but wanted to​

give it a try any ways. I'm really just making the whole thing up as a go and hoping it all works out.
 
I'm not really changing much with the program except maybe adding new sprites, lighting and music. But tile-sets will mostly stay the same (I'm still learning!)​

 ​

Right now the game is around an hour long with a fair bit of exploring.  Mainly the game is about story right now and setting up the main character before his adventure.​

 
I have actually posted this game before, but have made a fair few improvements since. So if anyone could just check out the new demo​

and give me some feed back that would be nice. I mainly would like to know if the game starts off too slowly because that has crossed my mind a couple time. But that may​

only be because I've played the intro sooo many times.​

STORY​

 ​

 ​

Like I said above, I'm making most of the game up as I go. But I can give a basic summery so far.​

 ​

​

It's a cold night, and a mysterious hooded man is riding his horse along a deserted road. Bruised and bloodied, he clings on to the little life he has left. He is what's known as a wanderer, someone who lives on the road, constantly moving from place to place. They have no where to go and no one to turn too. They prefer to be alone. It is usually a past event that drives people towards this path, and for this Strider, there's no exception. Something bad did happen. Something he wishes to forget. After days of riding he finally gives in and collapses from his wounds. The unconscious man is taken to the nearby inn where the owner, an old man, tends to his injuries and helps him to recover. To repay the old man's kindness, the Strider decides to help around the inn. Days turn into months and months turn into years and the Strider still remains at the inn. 3 years pass and both him and the old man have become good friends. The Strider Wakes up one morning expecting to do his chores like any other day, but is in for a surprise... And that is when his adventure begins.

 ​

I do have many ideas of an overarching story involving a main villain and how it will all tie together with the Strider and his past, but I don't really want to say right now.​

Also, a couple things to note. He will not always be called Strider. At one point soon, you will finally be asked your name. As for what the character looks like in the demo. This is just his Innkeeper gear. Once the adventure begins he will lose the beard and have a nice change of clothes. Just thought I'd mention this in case people didn't like the design.​

 ​

SCREENSHOTS​

 ​

 ​

 ​

​

​

 ​

And here are some areas not in the Demo​

 ​

 ​

​

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

DEMO​

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

Below is a link to the demo.  You have two choices. ​

One has the RTP data included for those of you without RPG Maker VX Ace.​

The other does not.​

 ​

I hope you enjoy it.​

 ​

http://rpgmaker.net/games/6152/downloads/​

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

SCRIPTS​

 ​

 ​

 ​

A special thanks to all the authors of the scripts below!​

 ​

Victor Sant - Fog and Overlay Script​

Yanfly - Parallax lock and Save Screen Scripts​

Nicke - Pop up Item box Script​

Tsukihime - Region Name Script​

bStefan aka. regendo - No Save Title Screen Skip Script​

Shadowmaster/Shadowmaster9000/Shadowpasta - Menu Playtime Script​

Yami - Pop Message Script​

Unknown (Cozziekuns is mentioned in Script) - Sprite Reflection Script​

Moghunter - Weather Ex Script​

Modern Algebra - Picture Fix Script​

Reedo - Side Battles Script​

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

 ​

          ​

 

[bentleym33]

Just wanted to say that I've added a demo for the game now. It's around about an hour or so long. I would appreciate it if some of you guys would check it out and give me some feedback.

Thanks in advance!

 

[LittleEight]

Hello!

I'm pretty new here too and am working on my own first game I've played up to the first save-crystal so I'll tell you what I think so far. 

   I really like your game overall, it has great atmosphere and storytelling. Also your mapping is very nice.  The scenery is put together in a believable way and nothing jumps out at me as being distracting or out of place.  Generally, I think that you tend to "over-narrate" where it's not needed.  You can cut out a lot of the verbal storytelling and show it in the game instead, using the characters' actions and words.  Try to "show" rather than "tell".  Also, it would be cool to add some items and other things around to reward exploration of the world.  Have the character comment on some objects the player finds. This can help you not feel like you have to spell things out since the player can gather the info themselves.   

  The music in the intro and overall is nice and fits the game very well.  The intro text is concise and doesn't drone on forever, also is well-written in my opinion.  Some of the text could be condensed or maybe could show automatically instead of having to press space so many times.  It kinda breaks the atmosphere a little when I sometimes have to press space every three words.  The transition time between the intro text and the scene with him riding into town is a little long. The whole feel of this scene is great though, I love the crow flying overhead.

The scene in the burning town is done really well.  There are only a couple things I think you could change: It's pretty obvious where the call for help is coming from and that Strider wants to rescue them.  He doesn't need to tell the player to go investigate and the text interrupts the game-play too much. Let the player figure out what to do themselves, which they totally can.  This is because you did a good job setting up the scene so there's no need for written instruction, yay!  The other thing is that I feel like you could make Strider seem a little more reluctant to leave Maria. Maybe a falling beam forces him to jump down the hole or something.  Oh oh also, the narration about "it being a lost cause" isn't necessary because that fact is already apparent.  Other than that, the scene inside the house is very well-done!

  The next scene is just fine without the narration text at the beginning.  I'd have the scene start at "ow my head" instead.  It would be better to let the player figure out that Strider is being cared for at the inn by placing clues in the scene.  Maybe a warm source of light and some bandages by his bed.  The old man pretty much tells him what happened and why he's there. That's all the player needs in order to know what's going on.  I like how you can put on and take off your clothes, hehe.  

  You should show the player that the old man is lonely by having his dialogue indicate it or showing that Strider senses it rather than you telling the player via narration.  Same thing with doing chores and helping out for three years. Maybe have a scene where strider is fully recovered and the player has to do some kind of chore. You could even make it into a mini-game! Then, Strider would go to bed and you can have the "three years later" text. His room could look more cozy and lived-in when he wakes up after the time-jump.

I'll play the rest of the demo soon and give more feedback, but I think you're off to a good start.   

 

[Dalph]

This isn't a good start, it's a great start! This game is surprisingly awesome to be a first game.

TBH I don't see any major problems with this whole thing and I'm also hard to please regarding RM games.

I really liked every bit of it and I don't think the dialogues are over-narrated or something (absolutely no), I got immersed into them and that's a good sign. The only annoying thing is that you can't dash inside of the houses and I suggest you to change this (because I got tired of explorating them).

Also I noticed you used a couple of music themes from Chrono Cross and Grandia, I have no problems about using ripped videogame music, but there are a lot of great composers here so you can even avoid this and use their music instead (it's better if you do it, trust me).

I admit that the Old Man's story made me sad in some way...omg, this means that I still have an heart after all...ahahahahah!

I loved the mapping and the atmosphere, it's great...nice use of the RTP materials, also the whole thing is really polished and detailed (I've found no bugs or glitches, everything works smoothly), so great job on that.

If this is your first game then you're on the right path to be a great game developer.

Looking forward to see more.

Again good job.

 

[LittleEight]

Yea, I played more of it and it's great.  I do still think there are some parts of the narration in the beginning that you don't need, but the storytelling after I leave the inn for the first quest is excellent. Great work!

 

[bentleym33]

Wow guys thanks for the positive feedback. I do realise I went a bit narrative crazy with this game and it's something I will improve on as the game progresses. Obviously there will be a lot more exploration, side quests and battles later on so there will be a longer gap between any major story and heavy dialogue scenes. I don't think I'll change too much of what I've done so far because that will take a lot of time, but I will definitely take your advice for anything I do from this point onwards. Just curious, for anyone who's played the whole demo, was there a later section in a mine? I recently added that in and just want to know if this download link has updated to the most recent build. And if you did play that part, obviously the battles will get much more challenging then those!

Thanks again guys! 

 

[Dalph]

Just curious, for anyone who's played the whole demo, was there a later section in a mine? I recently added that in and just want to know if this download link has updated to the most recent build. And if you did play that part, obviously the battles will get much more challenging then those!

Thanks again guys! 

uhm, I dunno now, but the demo that I played ends just soon after the Old Man's story.

I can confirm it, I downloaded and played the game yesterday.

 

[bentleym33]

The mine area is just before that part. You go to sleep and have a second flashback that continues from the first. Just before you wake up looking for the Old Man. Originally it was just a dream of Strider talking to Maria in darkness, So if you played that scene (Maria is on fire)  then that was an old build.

And LittleEight, I've taken some of you're advice. While I've not removed any of the narrative scenes I did add bandages to the basement scene as well as make it look more like a storage area at the beginning. Then after the 3 years I made his room look more lived in and added carpet and such. It actually works much better that way, so thank you for that!

 

[bentleym33]

Sorry about the double post, but I would really like some more feed back on this project so far, I haven't actually worked on it much in the past few months and maybe some new comments/criticisms will encourage me to continue!

Thanks! 

 

[FleetingInfinity]

Just finished playing through your game.   The story is really good, I'm wondering where exactly it is going to go from here though.   Only major issues I would mention are a few typos, improper word usage and the like here and there.   Plus there are a number of areas that do not seem to have music at all, which may be intentional, but it means I have to put on my own music which while I enjoy my music, doesn't necessarily mesh with your game.   One other thing I would mention, and this one I'll place inside a spoiler tag.

Spoiler

In the former mine below the inn where Strider left Maria to burn, not that he wanted to obviously, the random combat seems a little excessive. It's not difficult, but the fights pop up pretty quick sometimes. Though it could just be the lack of music along with the random battles that made it a little tedious.

Apart from that it's a great start, really do hope to see more of it.    Hopefully this will go toward giving you the encouragement to continue you were looking for.

 

[bentleym33]

Hey thanks for the feed back! Glad you enjoyed what you played. The only time I think the game doesn't have music is during the night scenes. Other then that I cant think of any areas without music. so this must be a glitch. I know for a fact the mine should have music so I'll look into that! 

If you can remember. Which parts didn't have any music? As for the battles, I can just lower the encounter rate no problem. I guess I didn't notice how frequent the battles were because I knew where I was going and how to get out!

Thanks again!

 

[cabfe]

I had your demo (or full game? I got an "end" word at the end then went back to the menu) downloaded from quite some time but only got to play it today.
Also, I made sure to grab the latest version just to be sure.

I'll start by the good things.

Spoiler

- Beautiful maps! There's a good use of the RTP resources. I noted some custom editing (like the loaf of bread - I thought I was going to take the whole basket!) and maybe the summer festival background?
- I liked the music, especially the one played during the final cutscene. Very emotional.
- The fire scene in the intro was great, but Maria seems to give up a little too soon or too easily. Of course, there is a fire and she has nowhere to go, but still. Did she take zen lessons? I'd be frightened as hell in her shoes.
- Reflection on the water is good, but it looks strange to have a NPC on the shore having a reflection, while the swan do not. I don't know if it's a limitation of the script though.
- Last scene, the Decades of time play, was very emotional and well written. I've got to admit shedding a tear at the end. Using the battle backgrounds made it very theatrical, good job!

And then the less good things.

Spoiler

- Why did you set checkpoints to save the game? It's not a horror game, nor an action game, it's a story game. Why would you prevent the player from saving anywhere?
- A lot of text. That's not a bad thing in itself, but the way it's presented (small text windows) make them seem twice as long. And often, they are just insisting on elements I already understood.
- It's called "A strider's tale" but I don't really know a lot about him. I know more of the other people, especially the old man.
- What's the point of the game actually? Is it to tell the old man's story? The strider has nothing to do except go errand and chores. That's not really enticing.
- It lacks interactivity. A lot of maps where empty on that side. There could have been a few thoughts by the strider about items or such. Also, why can't I run inside the houses?
- Traveller's Rest: I can walk on the base of the stage and then on the stage itself. That's the only passability issue I ran into, but I've not tested every wall
- The mine part: It has no purpose. The combats are so out of place for a story game that, except for the mandatory first rat, I always escaped the following confrontations. And when I got outside, someone spotted me and was quite angry with me. Maybe it'll be explained later as for now, I don't know why would someone look after me when the whole town is burning a few yards away.

Are you going to expand the game or is it finished as it is?
I know I want to see more!

 

[bentleym33]

Yeah the game is no where near finished. Obviously the Strider's story will be completely expanded on and explained. It's not necessarily a story driven game and there will be battles. I figured the cave bit would just add a bit more variation to the game and show that there is combat. What your playing is merely the intro. I did plan for the game to be very long. As for the save points, I'm just a huge fan of Final Fantasy and that's how they do it. it's that simple lol. Thank you for your feed back though and thanks for pointing out that passability issue too.

It seems most people's criticisms are roughly about the same things so I can easily make changes based on those. Thanks!

 

[bentleym33]

Just bumping with the hope to get more feedback!

 

[bentleym33]

I know I bumped this a while back to no avail so here's one last bump just to get more opinions. I've been very slowly working on the game but the more feedback I get the more I can improve what I've done and continue from there.

 

[Stanley]

I think I played this in 2014. Can't recall many things about it but I sure remember the Decades of Time. I liked this game.