Advice?

[Tyra Wadman]

TLDR: Seems I don't have a lot of time for hobbies anymore and it's killing me

-So I work Part Time at Wal-Mart. On average, per week, I usually get 30-35 hours. The occasional week I might have 3 days off. 

-I have flat feet and no money for proper soles

-I don't have a car so aside from standing around for 8 hours I also have to walk there

-I get up 1 hour before work. Within 30 minutes I eat, shower, etc. The next 30 are for walking and getting into my vest

-I end up dedicating about 10-12 hours a day just for work and by the time it's done I'm usually too tired to do anything

-After bills and debt and food expenses I have nothing left. It's a risk if I want to buy something for myself. I basically should not have bought RPG maker but I felt optimistic about not having to pull $100 out of my butt for something. My boyfriends 3 kids that come over every second week also take from my wallet. 

-When I do have free time, I draw. But my eyes strain so easily. I just finished drawing THIS today and I have to squint now.I don't have glasses, and the optician says I see better without them. If I try to work with strained eyes it just builds up. Even with a full nights rest I probably won't see well tomorrow.

Basically I just feel like I can't do anything anymore. I can't just draw at my own pace. I have to finish it before bed time or I won't be well enough to work on it for the next 4 days when I have time off. By then I've lost the will or I just can't keep it consistent and I scrap it.

 I haven't touched RPG maker for a month now because I don't have a lot of time or energy to tinker with it anymore. I want to make things. More importantly I want to be a part of something, if not see some of my stories come to life somehow. I know there's still time in the future to accomplish these things but it's a thought that's been nibbling on my brain for a while.

 I couldn't complete College. There were plenty of things wrong. Parents kicked me out in the middle of College and work, couldn't take my job with me so there went all the finances. No one in the city hired me and I remained jobless for 2 years. Even when I advertised commissions I got nothing (understandably so). The art world is a big one, and hard to get noticed when everyone is waving their pictures everywhere. Even if I could share some of my stories with a small group of people, or just see something that I helped make, would bring some relief. I have lots of room for improvement as an artist and a semi-writer. I'm aware of this- but how can I get better when I never have time to fulfill my hobbies anymore? 

Feel free to leave advice, if any can be given. 

Also including Sketch Dump of things I've created at work. 

 

[Tyra Wadman]

It also sucks bawls when my eyes are strained. It's like...

All I can do is lay here with my eyes closed.

But if I fall asleep, I won't be able to sleep for work.

But if I don't, I'll never be able to see later.

Gaaaaaaaaaah. 

 

[MarikuJunrei]

oh my good word the feels are real i too have flat feet no car etc etc i would go back to your eye doc and demand something perhaps corrective reading lenses i'm suppose to be wearing glasses as well as my eyes over focus on everything lol i can see single pixels from about 2 feet away causes terrible headaches, all that aside. if you want to truly embrace your dreams never let them go, if you can try to commit at least one hour a day to tinker or just doodle they don't have to be big pieces of art but just doodles to keep the muscle memory up, when i was in art school for a little our teach would make us do gesture drawings just to get poses and well gestures down xD 

Spoiler

this is actually someones drawing from the his book Steve hampton was muh teach pretty cool guy


you could also try opening up a workshop to do art for peoples games there are always people looking for talented artists such as yourself.


fine tune your art in many assets to make yourself more viable spriting is a big one if you can make drawn pieces and pixels to match your pretty much golden


all i can really say is never give up never let go of your dreams or your wants...because the second you do you just begin to drift and drifting is no fun


always work towards grabbing your goals with both hands if you ever need someone to yell at vent too or talk to feel free to send me a pm always willing to listen

 

[Ms Littlefish]

I think this is mostly an issue of time and stress management. Three days off is rare for anyone, even more so for full time workers. So there are definitely ways to make it work. Keep a schedule for the times you can use toward your hobbies. There is no shame in just coming home from work to relax. Most days when I work, I too, just want to become vegetation.

As for the eye strain. Try Flux on your computer. It changes the light your computer emits depending on the time of day and is a God send for me. In fact, I can see it switching over to my night time color as we speak! It can be bothersome when working in color but when doing line art, you're still good to go. Obviously that only addresses your computer. I'd also look into cold compressing your eyes to heal any swelling and puffiness. Get some basic eye drops, too. Oh! And a second opinion on glasses. Drink lots of water and fresh snacks. But breathe! You're going to be just fine. I promise. 

 

[wallacethepig]

Let's do it this way.

There are 168 hours in the week.

Let's take away 35 for work, leaving you with 133 hours.

Let's take away 7 hours a night of sleep (49 for a week), leaving us with 84 hours.

Let's also take away 4 hours a day for eating, procrastination, whatever. We've got 56 hours left.

Let's take away another 7 hours a week for your hour before work, leaving us with 49 hours.

Taking away 10 hours a week for your boyfriend, that leaves you with 39 hours a week to do stuff. That's about 5 and a half hours a day.

So let's take away another 4 hours a day for art. You've got 11 hours left. Let them be breathing room.

If you budget your time, you can work 28 hours a week on art. That's pretty good. If you need a few extra bucks, your art is definitely good enough for people to pay for it; do some commissioned work.

If you work hard enough at your job, you'll get a raise (if you don't get one, ask for one). Raise = more money. Money that can be spent on ice cream to cheer you up. And soles...(speaking of, Christmas is right around the corner and you could drop a few hints...) Honestly, if you budget your time well, you have a lot of options. I know how it feels to be demotivated, but just work around it and pull through, as sappy as that sounds.

-Wallace

 

[EternalShadow]

I would buy your art, it looks great o.o


I wouldn't worry about not having a car - you'd lose more money by buying one than walking to work for half an hour. If possible though, I'd ask your manager at WM whether you can change your duty to something that allows you to sit down a bit more. Talk to your boyfriend about the kids who take from your wallet as well - does he have his own finances, for example?

 

[Tyra Wadman]

Let's do it this way.

There are 168 hours in the week.

Let's take away 35 for work, leaving you with 133 hours.

Let's take away 7 hours a night of sleep (49 for a week), leaving us with 84 hours.

Let's also take away 4 hours a day for eating, procrastination, whatever. We've got 56 hours left.

Let's take away another 7 hours a week for your hour before work, leaving us with 49 hours.

Taking away 10 hours a week for your boyfriend, that leaves you with 39 hours a week to do stuff. That's about 5 and a half hours a day.

So let's take away another 4 hours a day for art. You've got 11 hours left. Let them be breathing room.

If you budget your time, you can work 28 hours a week on art. That's pretty good. If you need a few extra bucks, your art is definitely good enough for people to pay for it; do some commissioned work.

If you work hard enough at your job, you'll get a raise (if you don't get one, ask for one). Raise = more money. Money that can be spent on ice cream to cheer you up. And soles...(speaking of, Christmas is right around the corner and you could drop a few hints...) Honestly, if you budget your time well, you have a lot of options. I know how it feels to be demotivated, but just work around it and pull through, as sappy as that sounds.

-Wallace

At first when you broke it down I was all 8D Yea! Now I have a general idea! 

And then at the bottom I was all 

D8 FIVE?!? NO!!! 

Cause I take more than 10 hours to make one decent thing on average and that makes me even more sad. 

As for the soles bit, I'm not sure how much you think they are, but they're over $300. I don't mean those cheap Dr Scholl's. Those don't do anything for me. 

Thank you for replying though. It's still good to get an idea as to how the timetable looks (and sucks worse than I thought) but hopefully I can turn that around. I've been trying to find a job that doesn't cripple my feet but I can't quite commit to a call centers harsh hours. I don't drink coffee and I hear a lot of people sometimes only have 5 hours to sleep before their next shift. 

 

[Touchfuzzy]

Sometimes. Things just suck. And the best thing to do is keep plugging away until you can find the opportunity to change it.


I worked 12 years in construction. I worked SUPER long hours, and even though I made pretty good money, we didn't have a lot because I have two kids and at the time a wife who wasn't employed. I didn't have a lot of time at home, I didn't have spare money really, and even if I wanted to hang out with anyone socially, my schedule and every else's just seemed to be waaay off so it never happened.


Then I got hurt. I got a bit of help from different areas, my wife found a job, I went back to a small junior college for a couple of years, and I fell backwards into the job I have now, which I love.


So as for long term, just keep plugging away, and keep looking for opportunities for ways to improve things.


Short term... maybe look on craigslist for a used road bicycle that isn't in terrible condition? It could cut down on the travel time a lot. (Actually, looking on craigslist, everyone just seems to sell high end bikes. You could probably get one good enough for daily travel at walmart, and at least you can use an employee discount on that).

 

[Tyra Wadman]

oh my good word the feels are real i too have flat feet no car etc etc i would go back to your eye doc and demand something perhaps corrective reading lenses i'm suppose to be wearing glasses as well as my eyes over focus on everything lol i can see single pixels from about 2 feet away causes terrible headaches, all that aside. if you want to truly embrace your dreams never let them go, if you can try to commit at least one hour a day to tinker or just doodle they don't have to be big pieces of art but just doodles to keep the muscle memory up, when i was in art school for a little our teach would make us do gesture drawings just to get poses and well gestures down xD 

Spoiler

this is actually someones drawing from the his book Steve hampton was muh teach pretty cool guy

you could also try opening up a workshop to do art for peoples games there are always people looking for talented artists such as yourself.

fine tune your art in many assets to make yourself more viable spriting is a big one if you can make drawn pieces and pixels to match your pretty much golden

all i can really say is never give up never let go of your dreams or your wants...because the second you do you just begin to drift and drifting is no fun

always work towards grabbing your goals with both hands if you ever need someone to yell at vent too or talk to feel free to send me a pm always willing to listen

Thank you for the kind words! I make sure to doodle while on breaks at work, and I have thought of trying to offer artwork for a lot of the game projects here but I don't feel confident that I can finish or even keep up with it. If I offer to do things for free I don't have a lot of uh... 'pressure or 'obligation' to keep me going. But I'm more worried that if I am paid, and I don't produce quality artwork, what then? What if I'm holding them back and they're waiting on me to finish the art? I get so tired after work I don't have the will to draw because it'll look like crud.

I've tried to be a part of a game project once, years ago, but it never took off and no assignments were given so I left them my resignation in the forums. 

In regards to pixel art I have no idea where to start, Can't say I've ever made one and my past experiences with MS Paint are nothing compared to a lot of sprite art I see out there. I get so baffled when it comes to certain styles or how they even decide "This pixel will look good here!". 

Again, thank you for the response. I could really use the ideas/suggestions, especially when I'm still so new to the whole RPG community. 

 

[EternalShadow]

What soles do you need, specifically? Is there a photo? I'm sure there's a cheaper version of what you're looking at, on the market.

 

[Tyra Wadman]

I would buy your art, it looks great o.o

I wouldn't worry about not having a car - you'd lose more money by buying one than walking to work for half an hour. If possible though, I'd ask your manager at WM whether you can change your duty to something that allows you to sit down a bit more. Talk to your boyfriend about the kids who take from your wallet as well - does he have his own finances, for example?

Thanks! 

And yea, I don't plan to get a car for that reason. XD 

Also I don't know if that's physically possible to ask of them without getting fired, but I can try. As a cashier I can't sit down and I honestly wouldn't know a role that allows me to have multiple breaks / opportunities to sit. 

And yes, my partner does have a job. He works as a PSW (Personal support worker, takes care of elderly/disabled) but ever since his company hired on another team he has lost a lot of hours. He works about 30 hours on a good week, more if they have openings. He also makes 16 an hour. 

Our finances go to our $1200 apartment (because you can't find one big enough for kids at a lower price) 

Luckily, Utilities are included so no power or hydro bills there

My BF has college and debts from his ex wife to cover so about 350 a month for that

He also pays 300 in child support as the ex wife is the primary caretaker (who lives off her 2500 child support and no job) 

*Assuming his EX can keep herself from being ******ed for five seconds (he regrets everything about her, sorry for the language) then he doesn't have to give her money for medicine or 'rent'.

His brother, who offered to move in and split the rent, does not pay his full rent (EVER) and I'm waiting for him to get the balls to kick him out. I have to do all of the cleaning to begin with and he likes to eat our food. Guh... he's... a game addict, literally. A can of AXE spray is his Shower before work (we haven't seen/heard him use the shower yet) and he will not cook unless I clean the dishes first. SO, I lose money when he eats our stuff too. 

I make about 450 on every paycheque (average thus far), only been working at Wal Mart 2 months since i moved here

So 900, minus 600 for shared rent and the rest goes to food. I can't afford to pay off my own debts each month

I haven't made more than 4 commissions for the 4 years I've been advertising so no earnings from those.

I still have to make money for a dentist (which will cost over 150 on just the first visit) because I was basically a hobo without a toothbrush and my teeth are starting to hurt. 

Imma have to step out now to go make us dinner but I hope it gives some idea as to our financial situation at the moment. DX 

BRB XD 

EDIT: as for the soles, I would need specific ones for me I think. My arches are basically on the bottoms of my feet (or at least that's what it looks like). And I honestly wouldn't know if there's a specific type for these things. I was taken there once when I was eight and my mother said never again because of the cost. They keep rejecting me when i try to get my healthcard so I'm unable to actually go right now- I think. I'm still new to the world. DX 

 

[Lunarea]

I was very much like you when it comes to art. If I didn't finish a piece in one sitting, I just scrapped it. Then I ended up with some major projects that just couldn't be done in one sitting, and I had to quickly learn how to manage.
 
It was a process that was frustrating at first. It felt like I started everything over every time I sat down. But it turned out to be one of the best things for my art. By forcing myself to take breaks, I ended up with a much better understanding of my process as well as my style. And that feeling of having to start things over got less and less over time. I won't lie. It was really hard at first, and I had to push myself to go back to the same project. Being balanced and spreading work over time was worth it.
 
I'm going to leave you with a quote:

“When ego is siphoned off creativity, when creativity becomes one more thing we do, like the laundry, then it takes far less time to do it. Much of our desire for creative time has to do with our trying to coax ourselves into being in the right mood to create. We want to “feel like it,” and when we don’t, or don’t quickly, we think the solution is more time. Actually, the solution is less attention to the vagaries of mood. In short, creativity needs to become something daily, doable, and nonnegotiable, something as quotidian as breathing.
When we make a special occasion out of our art, we rob ourselves of the time we actually have. When we make a ceremony out of the right paper, the right noise level, the right pen and precise circumstance, we are actually creating many false conditions that make our art not more possible but more impossible. “I can’t think when it’s noisy” or “when the kids are home” or “when the phone’s going off.” We may not like thinking under those conditions, but we can think under them and we owe it to ourselves to learn that we can. By making our creativity nonnegotiable, we do it a little every day no matter what our mood and no matter what our judgement of our work. What we are after is the gut-level knowledge that our creativity is both doable and portable.
… The less precious we are about how and when we do our work, the more precious it can be to us. We are like parents who take their infant everywhere. The child learns to thrive in many environments, and so, too, can our brainchild, art.”

- Julia Cameron, The Sound of Paper

 
This is a great book to read and it talks about some of the difficulties of being an artist- from motivation to finding the time. It's worth checking out if your local library has it.

 

[Tyra Wadman]

I was very much like you when it comes to art. If I didn't finish a piece in one sitting, I just scrapped it. Then I ended up with some major projects that just couldn't be done in one sitting, and I had to quickly learn how to manage.

It was a process that was frustrating at first. It felt like I started everything over every time I sat down. But it turned out to be one of the best things for my art. By forcing myself to take breaks, I ended up with a much better understanding of my process as well as my style. And that feeling of having to start things over got less and less over time. I won't lie. It was really hard at first, and I had to push myself to go back to the same project. Being balanced and spreading work over time was worth it.

I'm going to leave you with a quote:

This is a great book to read and it talks about some of the difficulties of being an artist- from motivation to finding the time. It's worth checking out if your local library has it.

Thank you! This is beautiful! 

Honestly, I think a part of the reason I struggle so much is the lack of... um... not just critique, but the 'understanding' found within other artists. Even on sites like DA it's hard to find someone who is on the same level as you AND THEN have a discussion about it. Not only is it refreshing to hear, it's reassuring to let me know that I'm not alone, and shows me that there is still an outcome to all this madness and practice that I put myself through. 

I hate rushing. But I hate not finishing it. I've been aware of this for years but I think just this year I might learn how to take breaks because of my work schedule. 

Thank you again for your wisdom! <3

 

[EternalShadow]

1) I do not think you can be fired for simply asking about other roles, especially if you have a medical reason. Are you able to get a chair at the till? If you're fired for asking... well... that's unlawful firing/non-constructive dismissal (whatever it is termed where you are).


2) Need to sort out your boyfriend's brother ASAP.


3) Need to sort out the healthcard thing too.


4) If you want, I could give you some advertising tips whenever you've got some free time on a weekend or whatever. Just send me a PM.

 

[whitesphere]

I think you're right in NOT buying a car.  Right now, any car you could afford would be a money pit.    The only time I think it might help is if, with the car, you or your boyfriend can get a much better paying job which would cover the cost of car, gas, insurance, maintenance, etc.  Sad to say but a LOT of "services" to help the poor (Payday loans and the likes) are financial land mines (1000% yearly interest for the Payday loans!), so stay away from them if at all possible.

As for your boyfriend's brother, if he is being a parasite, drop him.  We all have tough times, to be sure, but it seems he is nothing but a leech in more ways than one.  Being biologically related does NOT entail "let them use me."   You need to have firm boundaries and your boyfriend and you must agree on AND ENFORCE consequences if he violates them, even if that means he ends up on the street.  Sounds cruel, but you need to take care of yourselves first and foremost. 

My mom was a single mother who had me and my sister.  She worked full time and went to college part time, and got a lot of help from her brothers and sisters --- her sister even owned the house we lived in and paid the mortgage when my mom wasn't able to.  She still had to rely on welfare to put food on the table, at least during the summer (she worked as a part time college professor).  She stayed with it, and 10 years later, graduated with a PhD in Rhetoric and now works for a local college.

I know things can seem tough and have no idea what it feels like to go through what you're going through.   But don't blame yourself.  Make time for things that truly matter to you, even if it's an hour a day, and drop things and people that are toxic in your life.  This can be VERY hard to do, emotionally, but right now you NEED to only have good people who are positive forces in your life.  This doesn't mean "good" people don't need help sometimes, but you'll know.  If you get a queasy feeling in your stomach around or when thinking of someone, they are NOT GOOD FOR YOU. 

Take care of yourself and your boyfriend first and foremost.  And best of luck.

 

[Touchfuzzy]

I think you're right in NOT buying a car.  Right now, any car you could afford would be a money pit. The only time I think it might help is if, with the car, you or your boyfriend can get a much better paying job which would cover the cost of car, gas, insurance, maintenance, etc.

Yeah, that was why I suggested a bicycle. Speeds you up without the cost issues of a car.

 

[doncht]

I'd say pick a sport that would interest you. There's no replacement from burning calories while enjoying it.