An Unlikely Adventure Beta V1.1

[Saro0fDemons]

1.3 Update!

Download

-Pressing Q and W cycle through options in status window,equipment view,combat viewing enemy info, etc.
-Added Moverestrict script - Credit to Yanfly - keeps character out of water, allows certain enemies to move through it
-Realized Yanfly scripts are one of the greatest things in the world for new creators like myself

-Added State animation script - Credit to Yanfly - Animation edits done myself to make the loop look 'prettier'

-Added Insane Anti-lag - Credit to TheoAllen
-Added Crafting Engine - Credit to coelocanth
-Added Ace core Engine to fix a few errors with other Yanfly scripts - Credit to Yanfly
-Added Shop Options Script - Credit to Yanfly
-Added Victory Aftermath script - credit to Yanfly
-Added Extra drops script - Credit to Yanfly

-Added Adjust limits script - Credit to yanfly
(currently only being used for gold icon display)

-Added steal % bonus to hide ability
-LP/TP Charges automatically each turn
-Removed Pass Turn skill in place of simply pressing the right button to skip turn
-Added Burn State
-Added Frozen State
-Added new dungeon - Spirit Temple
-Added larger maps
-Added game over screen - credit to VVBlastFuryVV

-Added Monstergirl pack - Credit to Nivlacart
(to be used in future updates)

-Added new facesets - credit to Aweryn's resource blog

-New enemies
-Jump Ability added
(only works in certain instances)

-Increased cave Spider difficulty
(my friend beat it in 10 seconds)

1.2 Update notes

Spoiler

EDIT - SIDENOTE - Just realized I never finished the Scroll shop so there are just a bunch of blank scrolls sitting in it that do nothing. SORRY ABOUT THAT. I pulled a heavy all nighter on this update and it slipped my mind until it was too late. But I will be fixing it1.2 Update!

Due to all the added content and the original game being revamped, old save files are not compatible with this version. SORRY!

Added battle engine - credit to Yanfly -
Ace Battle Engine, Enemy-target-info, Steal Skill, Steal item scripts

Added Enemy Hp bars/Mp Bars - Credit to Ventwig - VTS Enemy HP bars Script

Added New Class - Spellblade - used by Ashley

Added New Shop Elements - Scroll Art Shop and Magic Shop

New Areas - Grasslands

Added Small Cave Dungeon

Updated story Elements

Adjusted Skills

Download Link

Original Release info

Spoiler

I am happy to say that this game includes
-A quest system
-Gender Choice
-Name Choice
-Shops
-Inns
-Save Points
-Custom Skills
-Limit Breaks
-Story changes based on choices
-Possible multiple endings in later versions
-Trap areas
-Free Roaming enemies(touching them enters a battle instance)
-Placeholders for Quests to be added in later versions
-Facial Expressions
-and much more to be added.

I'm still a newbie to RPG maker and this Beta took me the better of two days, hours of trial and error, and several tutorials to make. I'm very proud of myself for getting as far as I have into this. But that doesn't mean I'm against criticism or anything. Be as harsh as you can possibly be about this, I need all the help I can get everyone.


This game was created using only resources that are included in the base RPG Maker VX Ace Engine. Custom Skills and Animations were created through the Database.

Quest System

Spoiler

Name and Gender choice

Spoiler

Facial Expressions

Spoiler

Game Download (Rar) - includes read me

Feedback is MUCH APPRECIATED

 

[Kes]

Here goes.  Sorry for such a wall of text, but I wanted this to give you a fairly full piece of feedback.

This demo is short, and represents your first couple of days game making.  I shall not, therefore, be applying ‘normal’ standards.  If this had been produced by someone with more experience I would have shot it down in flames, but clearly that would not be appropriate here.  Instead I shall treat what you have done as a learning experience.

First off, to get something out in just a couple of days is good going.  You had to get a grip on a number of skills and techniques, explore around in the database and so on.  So I do not underestimate the amount of work you have put in.  However, as you can imagine, there is a lot which can be improved.

The story. 

Basically there isn’t one.  I start off on a map of mixed terrain (snow forest to the east, grass in the center and desert + cliffs and cave to the west) where I learn that I must speak to the Old Man.  Why?  Who am I?  I have chosen my gender, but other than a change of clothing, what difference does it make?  It’s good that you have taken the time and trouble to do a range of emotions for the face set, and you have used them appropriately with the dialogue, but there’s no content. 

Being an obedient little player, I toddle off north to the town and speak to the old man.  No conversation, just straight in with kill 10 bats and 10 slimes.  Why?  Who is he to give orders?  Why am I obeying him?  Even a simple quest game like this should have some sort of narrative structure.  It is essential practice that from the very beginning of game making you do not neglect any significant aspect of what makes a game a good game.  As a player I had no reason to do anything, nothing to immerse myself in.

The rest of the demo consists in completing these 2 tasks.

Mapping

Minimalist might be one way of describing the maps in terms of what’s there, plus a shaky grasp of what would be an appropriate size.

Maps need to create a coherent, consistent world in which your story (or pure action) happens.  On the first map, your forest entrance shows a snowy terrain.  When I enter it, not a snow flake to be seen.  Nice layout, though, with the trees placed irregularly.  That still didn’t prevent me from getting in, killing the slimes and getting out again without having to engage with any of the hornets, though later I went back in to test out what encounters with them would be like.

Your shop is huge, and totally empty except for bare counters and 3 NPCs.  It could easily have been halved in size.  Having weapons, armor and potions all sold in one place means that you could use the RTP resources to make a lively environment, and have e.g. the shopkeepers complaining about how the others are trying to take more than their fair share of the space available.  You could have made your shop a place of interest.  Instead it’s a bleak warehouse where I just go and buy what I want and leave again.  Every map should contribute, in no matter how small a way, to creating an engaging world if you want to make a game which catches the imagination and interest of the player.

With a free heal point, I couldn’t see why you had an inn.  No one is going to use it.  The size of the map was not bad, and the basics were okay, but again bleak would be the word I’d use to describe it.  Even a window or two would have helped.

When I walk up from the square where the old man is, I come to a snow covered courtyard.  This is another example of an inconsistent world.  Why should walking a couple of steps up the town result in a complete climate change?

Gameplay

The encounters were not badly balanced at all, so well done.  You have given the protagonist an interesting range of skills.  I did wonder, however, whether having so many different categories might get confusing at a later stage.  There are 4 separate skill categories in addition to all the usual battle commands, which was a bit cumbersome.  Also having to go in and out of so many different places looking for particular skills did not help the flow of battle.  I felt this was an example of how something had been done because it looked interesting, rather than because it actively added to the game.  Some of those categories could be combined.  For example, there is no obvious reason why being able to hit an enemy 4 times should belong to a section called ‘Thief Art’.  (And, by the way, that skill is a bit over powered.)  And why is Confuse in ‘Scroll Art’?  I did wonder if this was meant to signal that some skills could be learned from scrolls, but no mention was made of this, so it was just one of those things that didn’t really make sense.

How does your world operate when it comes to skills/magic?  How does someone acquire them?  What does the method of acquisition tell us about the world and its systems of belief, for example.  Do you learn them at some sort of academy?  Are they inate?  Can they be bought?  Each of those possibilities can create a different sort of world, but you haven’t explored that.

General

Some typos and grammatical mistakes.  Here are the ones I spotted.  Given that there was almost no dialogue, 3 errors actually represents a significant number.  I have put the corrections in brackets.

Opening “head into town an (and) ask him”

Return to old man

“Phew, thats (that’s) the last of them.”

“The demo is at it’s (its) end.”

Overall assessment.

In one sense this demo is not good, and it would be foolish to suggest otherwise.  You need to think much more about what your world is like, why it is the way it is, why the protagonist acts the way s/he does.  Your mapping skills are rudimentary.  However, you seem to be getting a grip of the database quite quickly, and given the length of time you’ve had to learn the engine, you have no need to feel ashamed at what you have produced.

 

[Saro0fDemons]

Spoiler

Here goes.  Sorry for such a wall of text, but I wanted this to give you a fairly full piece of feedback.

This demo is short, and represents your first couple of days game making.  I shall not, therefore, be applying ‘normal’ standards.  If this had been produced by someone with more experience I would have shot it down in flames, but clearly that would not be appropriate here.  Instead I shall treat what you have done as a learning experience.

First off, to get something out in just a couple of days is good going.  You had to get a grip on a number of skills and techniques, explore around in the database and so on.  So I do not underestimate the amount of work you have put in.  However, as you can imagine, there is a lot which can be improved.

The story. 

Basically there isn’t one.  I start off on a map of mixed terrain (snow forest to the east, grass in the center and desert + cliffs and cave to the west) where I learn that I must speak to the Old Man.  Why?  Who am I?  I have chosen my gender, but other than a change of clothing, what difference does it make?  It’s good that you have taken the time and trouble to do a range of emotions for the face set, and you have used them appropriately with the dialogue, but there’s no content. 

Being an obedient little player, I toddle off north to the town and speak to the old man.  No conversation, just straight in with kill 10 bats and 10 slimes.  Why?  Who is he to give orders?  Why am I obeying him?  Even a simple quest game like this should have some sort of narrative structure.  It is essential practice that from the very beginning of game making you do not neglect any significant aspect of what makes a game a good game.  As a player I had no reason to do anything, nothing to immerse myself in.

The rest of the demo consists in completing these 2 tasks.

Mapping

Minimalist might be one way of describing the maps in terms of what’s there, plus a shaky grasp of what would be an appropriate size.

Maps need to create a coherent, consistent world in which your story (or pure action) happens.  On the first map, your forest entrance shows a snowy terrain.  When I enter it, not a snow flake to be seen.  Nice layout, though, with the trees placed irregularly.  That still didn’t prevent me from getting in, killing the slimes and getting out again without having to engage with any of the hornets, though later I went back in to test out what encounters with them would be like.

Your shop is huge, and totally empty except for bare counters and 3 NPCs.  It could easily have been halved in size.  Having weapons, armor and potions all sold in one place means that you could use the RTP resources to make a lively environment, and have e.g. the shopkeepers complaining about how the others are trying to take more than their fair share of the space available.  You could have made your shop a place of interest.  Instead it’s a bleak warehouse where I just go and buy what I want and leave again.  Every map should contribute, in no matter how small a way, to creating an engaging world if you want to make a game which catches the imagination and interest of the player.

With a free heal point, I couldn’t see why you had an inn.  No one is going to use it.  The size of the map was not bad, and the basics were okay, but again bleak would be the word I’d use to describe it.  Even a window or two would have helped.

When I walk up from the square where the old man is, I come to a snow covered courtyard.  This is another example of an inconsistent world.  Why should walking a couple of steps up the town result in a complete climate change?

Gameplay

The encounters were not badly balanced at all, so well done.  You have given the protagonist an interesting range of skills.  I did wonder, however, whether having so many different categories might get confusing at a later stage.  There are 4 separate skill categories in addition to all the usual battle commands, which was a bit cumbersome.  Also having to go in and out of so many different places looking for particular skills did not help the flow of battle.  I felt this was an example of how something had been done because it looked interesting, rather than because it actively added to the game.  Some of those categories could be combined.  For example, there is no obvious reason why being able to hit an enemy 4 times should belong to a section called ‘Thief Art’.  (And, by the way, that skill is a bit over powered.)  And why is Confuse in ‘Scroll Art’?  I did wonder if this was meant to signal that some skills could be learned from scrolls, but no mention was made of this, so it was just one of those things that didn’t really make sense.

How does your world operate when it comes to skills/magic?  How does someone acquire them?  What does the method of acquisition tell us about the world and its systems of belief, for example.  Do you learn them at some sort of academy?  Are they inate?  Can they be bought?  Each of those possibilities can create a different sort of world, but you haven’t explored that.

General

Some typos and grammatical mistakes.  Here are the ones I spotted.  Given that there was almost no dialogue, 3 errors actually represents a significant number.  I have put the corrections in brackets.

Opening “head into town an (and) ask him”

Return to old man

“Phew, thats (that’s) the last of them.”

“The demo is at it’s (its) end.”

Overall assessment.

In one sense this demo is not good, and it would be foolish to suggest otherwise.  You need to think much more about what your world is like, why it is the way it is, why the protagonist acts the way s/he does.  Your mapping skills are rudimentary.  However, you seem to be getting a grip of the database quite quickly, and given the length of time you’ve had to learn the engine, you have no need to feel ashamed at what you have produced.

This review means a lot to me. Lots of things you pointed out are things I didn't realize. For instance,

-I didn't realize the tile I used was snow. i will be correcting that.

-The Inn was placed as a way of testing an Event that had been driving me nuts and later Inns won't have save points.

-As for the overpowered skill, I realized how powerful it was after finally getting a friend to beta test for me and have cranked up its cost and adjusted its damage output.

-The story is a bit behind the scenes at the moment. If you play as both characters you see Solin is annoyed by the Quest NPC in the center of town, referring to him as 'Old man', while Ashley refers to him as The Elder and shows respect for him. I do plan to further expand upon this and make the story more clear.

-Scroll Arts are something I do plan to have be a Bought or Learned from NPC kind of thing, Thief Arts are skills only thieves/ninja's,etc can learn.

-The next release will be adding a Class System (once I work out the kinks and figure out what the heck I'm doing), and offer quests to add characters to your party, that will reflect what skills can and can't be used by certain classes.

-The shop is actually just a placeholder at the moment until I work out a few things I have planned for it.

-Currently in the shop though - Playing as Ashley changes dialogue with the weapon shop NPC (which was done as a test to see if I COULD do it)

-The Dialogue typo's were intentional to add a hint of realism to the characters speaking habits. Though that was only for things like 'an' in place of 'and' or 'em' in place of 'them'. The rest were my bad XD

I am by no means arguing and wholeheartedly agree with your assessment of the demo and GREATLY appreciate it. It gave me a lot to think about and gave me a lot of points to fix and a lot to build on. I was afraid this whole post would be ignored. I better get back to work, Thanks again!

 

[Saro0fDemons]

Spoiler

1.2 Update!

Due to all the added content and the original game being revamped, old save files are not compatible with this version. SORRY!

Added battle engine - credit to Yanfly -
Ace Battle Engine, Enemy-target-info, Steal Skill, Steal item scripts

Added Enemy Hp bars/Mp Bars - Credit to Ventwig - VTS Enemy HP bars Script

Added New Class - Spellblade - used by Ashley

Added New Shop Elements - Scroll Art Shop and Magic Shop

New Areas - Grasslands

Added Small Cave Dungeon

Updated story Elements

Adjusted Skills

Download Link

Original Release info

I am happy to say that this game includes
-A quest system
-Gender Choice
-Name Choice
-Shops
-Inns
-Save Points
-Custom Skills
-Limit Breaks
-Story changes based on choices
-Possible multiple endings in later versions
-Trap areas
-Free Roaming enemies(touching them enters a battle instance)
-Placeholders for Quests to be added in later versions
-Facial Expressions
-and much more to be added.

I'm still a newbie to RPG maker and this Beta took me the better of two days, hours of trial and error, and several tutorials to make. I'm very proud of myself for getting as far as I have into this. But that doesn't mean I'm against criticism or anything. Be as harsh as you can possibly be about this, I need all the help I can get everyone.


This game was created using only resources that are included in the base RPG Maker VX Ace Engine. Custom Skills and Animations were created through the Database.

Quest System

Spoiler

Name and Gender choice

Spoiler

Facial Expressions

Spoiler

Game Download (Rar) - includes read me

Feedback is MUCH APPRECIATED

Here goes.  Sorry for such a wall of text, but I wanted this to give you a fairly full piece of feedback.

This demo is short, and represents your first couple of days game making.  I shall not, therefore, be applying ‘normal’ standards.  If this had been produced by someone with more experience I would have shot it down in flames, but clearly that would not be appropriate here.  Instead I shall treat what you have done as a learning experience.

First off, to get something out in just a couple of days is good going.  You had to get a grip on a number of skills and techniques, explore around in the database and so on.  So I do not underestimate the amount of work you have put in.  However, as you can imagine, there is a lot which can be improved.

The story. 

Basically there isn’t one.  I start off on a map of mixed terrain (snow forest to the east, grass in the center and desert + cliffs and cave to the west) where I learn that I must speak to the Old Man.  Why?  Who am I?  I have chosen my gender, but other than a change of clothing, what difference does it make?  It’s good that you have taken the time and trouble to do a range of emotions for the face set, and you have used them appropriately with the dialogue, but there’s no content. 

Being an obedient little player, I toddle off north to the town and speak to the old man.  No conversation, just straight in with kill 10 bats and 10 slimes.  Why?  Who is he to give orders?  Why am I obeying him?  Even a simple quest game like this should have some sort of narrative structure.  It is essential practice that from the very beginning of game making you do not neglect any significant aspect of what makes a game a good game.  As a player I had no reason to do anything, nothing to immerse myself in.

The rest of the demo consists in completing these 2 tasks.

Mapping

Minimalist might be one way of describing the maps in terms of what’s there, plus a shaky grasp of what would be an appropriate size.

Maps need to create a coherent, consistent world in which your story (or pure action) happens.  On the first map, your forest entrance shows a snowy terrain.  When I enter it, not a snow flake to be seen.  Nice layout, though, with the trees placed irregularly.  That still didn’t prevent me from getting in, killing the slimes and getting out again without having to engage with any of the hornets, though later I went back in to test out what encounters with them would be like.

Your shop is huge, and totally empty except for bare counters and 3 NPCs.  It could easily have been halved in size.  Having weapons, armor and potions all sold in one place means that you could use the RTP resources to make a lively environment, and have e.g. the shopkeepers complaining about how the others are trying to take more than their fair share of the space available.  You could have made your shop a place of interest.  Instead it’s a bleak warehouse where I just go and buy what I want and leave again.  Every map should contribute, in no matter how small a way, to creating an engaging world if you want to make a game which catches the imagination and interest of the player.

With a free heal point, I couldn’t see why you had an inn.  No one is going to use it.  The size of the map was not bad, and the basics were okay, but again bleak would be the word I’d use to describe it.  Even a window or two would have helped.

When I walk up from the square where the old man is, I come to a snow covered courtyard.  This is another example of an inconsistent world.  Why should walking a couple of steps up the town result in a complete climate change?

Gameplay

The encounters were not badly balanced at all, so well done.  You have given the protagonist an interesting range of skills.  I did wonder, however, whether having so many different categories might get confusing at a later stage.  There are 4 separate skill categories in addition to all the usual battle commands, which was a bit cumbersome.  Also having to go in and out of so many different places looking for particular skills did not help the flow of battle.  I felt this was an example of how something had been done because it looked interesting, rather than because it actively added to the game.  Some of those categories could be combined.  For example, there is no obvious reason why being able to hit an enemy 4 times should belong to a section called ‘Thief Art’.  (And, by the way, that skill is a bit over powered.)  And why is Confuse in ‘Scroll Art’?  I did wonder if this was meant to signal that some skills could be learned from scrolls, but no mention was made of this, so it was just one of those things that didn’t really make sense.

How does your world operate when it comes to skills/magic?  How does someone acquire them?  What does the method of acquisition tell us about the world and its systems of belief, for example.  Do you learn them at some sort of academy?  Are they inate?  Can they be bought?  Each of those possibilities can create a different sort of world, but you haven’t explored that.

General

Some typos and grammatical mistakes.  Here are the ones I spotted.  Given that there was almost no dialogue, 3 errors actually represents a significant number.  I have put the corrections in brackets.

Opening “head into town an (and) ask him”

Return to old man

“Phew, thats (that’s) the last of them.”

“The demo is at it’s (its) end.”

Overall assessment.

In one sense this demo is not good, and it would be foolish to suggest otherwise.  You need to think much more about what your world is like, why it is the way it is, why the protagonist acts the way s/he does.  Your mapping skills are rudimentary.  However, you seem to be getting a grip of the database quite quickly, and given the length of time you’ve had to learn the engine, you have no need to feel ashamed at what you have produced.

Updated version is up and ready! I think I fixed most of the issues the first release had and I finally figured out how scripts work thanks to Yanfly's tutorials.

 

[Kes]

Just played through again.  Much, much improved, so well done.  There is now a good reason for talking to the old man and doing what he tells you.  The shop is now an interesting place, and the snow has been sorted out.  

Just a couple of things.  In the shop I spoke to the man on the left who sells scrolls.  This seemed to trigger another piece of music, made worse by the woman on the right.  It became a complete cacophony, and I ended up closing the game down and starting again, this time avoiding speaking to either of them.

A couple of typos in the Old Man's dialogue.

You have mercanary - should be mercenary

traverlers - should be travelers.

if you keep up this rate of improvement you'll soon be quite an expert!

 

[Saro0fDemons]

Just played through again.  Much, much improved, so well done.  There is now a good reason for talking to the old man and doing what he tells you.  The shop is now an interesting place, and the snow has been sorted out.  

Just a couple of things.  In the shop I spoke to the man on the left who sells scrolls.  This seemed to trigger another piece of music, made worse by the woman on the right.  It became a complete cacophony, and I ended up closing the game down and starting again, this time avoiding speaking to either of them.

A couple of typos in the Old Man's dialogue.

You have mercanary - should be mercenary

traverlers - should be travelers.

if you keep up this rate of improvement you'll soon be quite an expert!

Thats weird. Those two events don't even have sound files attached to them. The only sound file is the one in the map properties for the BGM...Oh, did you happent o have a chance to play as Ashley? Her playthrough is quite a bit different from Solin's. Everyone has only been playing as Solin so I have no feedback on Ashley whatsoever XD - Might remove the Boy-girl choice and replace it with "pick your story" or something. Thanks for the feedback and the encouragement and corrections!

 

[Kes]

I have just played as Ashley, and I think her story looks better than the other one.  It certainly is more intriguing.

Some errors:

The name of the skill should be 'Cleanse', not 'Clense'

Elder speaking to Ashley after complete the slimes "...fit of (for) a reward".

I also keep noticing and forgetting to note down that in the explanation about the save/heal point, one dialogue box begins with a lower case letter instead of a capital letter.  I think the first word begins with a w.

Do you have someone who could act as a proof reader for you?  You need to improve your own ability to spot these errors, but it is also difficult to see all of one's own mistakes - easier to see other peoples'.  But typos, spelling mistakes and grammatical errors really irritate players and are quite immersion breaking, so you need to find a way to tackle this.

 

[Saro0fDemons]

Updated! Should I move this topic somewhere else at this point?

 

[Kes]

I suggest you pm either Archeia or Caz who are the mods for this forum.  But before you do that, read the requirements for the next forum up to see if you qualify yet.