[BAD JOKES] So fail that was a win!

[Clord]

A human and a elf walk into a bar while a dwarf walks straight under it.


What does a dwarf lack? A reach.

 

[BoluBolu]

Some story joke,

Spoiler

A mother has three sons and one daughter, the first son name is DL, the second son is Helmet, and the third son is Stupid. The little daughter is Ann.

Today the mother ask DL to pick up Ann from her school because she need to go to somewhere else,

"DL honey, could you pick up Ann from her school for me? I have an attend I have to go." asked the mother.

DL refused because he is to busy working with his RPG Maker

"No mom, I'm still busy, why don't you ask Helmet?" DL refused.

 then the mother ask Helmet instead, but the same with Helmet, he refused it because he still writing a music,

"Sorry mom, you know I'm still write a music for my RPG Maker BGM."

and now the mother ask Stupid.

"Stupid, can you pick up your sister in her school for me, please?" asked the mother.

Not like his brothers, Stupid willingly obey his mother order.

"Don't worry mom, I bring Ann home for you!"

Then because the school is far, Stupid ask DL to lend him his motorcycle, and without paying attention, DL permit it even though it is the first time Stupid will drive a motorcycle.

In the way to school a police give chase to Stupid and forced him to stop his motorcycle because Stupid drive the motorcycle like crazy. Then the police begin to questioning Stupid.

"Show me your DL(Driver License)" ordered the police

"What? I'm sorry sir, but DL is at home right now, and been busy with his RPG Maker" answered Stupid

"Hey don't joking with me, and where is your helmet!?" asked the police with a bit louder

"I'm sorry but Helmet too is at home, he still write his music" answered Stupid

Now the police is really mad, :

"Are you stupid huh!?" asked the police now louder

"HOD DO YOU KNOW MY NAME!?" answered Stupid very loud because surprised

The End

 

[Nuclear Mosquito]

"How often do I make chemistry jokes?"

Periodically...

Here is another one of those videos:

 

[The Stranger]

Where does the king keep his armies?

Spoiler

Up his sleevies.

 

[tofuman]

What is red and smells like blue paint?

Spoiler

red paint

 

[Sato1999]

This one my english teacher told me.

Why in super mario its easier to finish water levels with the lli'l mario?

Because he's marinho.

 

[Ruby]

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"To get to the other side??"

No....

Spoiler

To get to your house!

Knock, knock!

"Who's there?"

Spoiler

The chicken!!!

 

[Omega Weapon]

The bartender says, "We don't serve FTL particles here!"

A tachyon walks into a bar.

Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the "medical elements"?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one orders one beer.

The second one orders half a beer.

The third one orders a quarter of a beer.

The fourth one orders one-eighth, and so on.

The bartender sighes, and pours two beers.

"Know your limits, and now go on and divide them among all of you" he says.

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first one orders one beer.

The second one orders half a beer.

The third one orders a third.

The fourth one orders a quarter.

and so on...

The bartender kicked them all out, saying:

"What are you trying to do, bankrupt me?!"

 

[Scythuz]

Why are people so bad at making jokes/puns about fungi?

Spoiler

Because there isn't mushroom for it.

 

[The Stranger]

Does anyone need an ark?

Spoiler

I Noah guy.

 

[doncht]

Good one Stranger! 

 

[Monkeysnow55 The Cookie]

one my dad told me when I was young..

Why do they put fences around graveyards?

Spoiler

Because people are dying to get in.

That joke is so dead XD

 

[Wyn Wizard]

A sql query approaches two tables and says, "May I join you?"

To understand recursion, you must understand recursion!

Your mom is so old she saw Rainbows in black and white!

Your mom is so old she thought an elevator was a mobile home. She swore up and down she moved non stop that day!    <----My best joke.

 

[Diretooth]

Your mom is so old she thought an elevator was a mobile home. She swore up and down she moved non stop that day!    <----My best joke.

Awesome Pun Combo X3!

 

[Jomarcenter]

Here a bad one:

if your are telling a bad joke... what is the reaction...

it a Bad "punny" joke...

 

[_Shadow_]

A sql query approaches two tables and says, "May I join you?"

To understand recursion, you must understand recursion!

I laughed at these.

 

[King Sangos]

Two men walk through a wood until they spot a nearby Lumber Yard with a sign that reads "Tree men wanted".

One of the men goes "Ah, that's a shame. There's only two of us..."

 

[whitesphere]

Xkcd had a kid who had a very strange name something like Bobby; select tables * ; drop all. The principal called his mom and confirmed that yes it was his real name - we call him Bobby tables. Then he stood your son's name erased our entire database. She replied maybe you'll learn to sanitize your Inputs.

--- Edited: ---

Here is the link to the actual XKCD comic:  http://www.xkcd.com/327

 

[Wyn Wizard]

Two men walk into a bar. Whats the third guy do?

Spoiler

He ducks.

 

[Diretooth]

Xkcd had a kid who had a very strange name something like Bobby; select tables * ; drop all. The principal called his mom and confirmed that yes it was his real name - we call him Bobby tables. Then he stood your son's name erased our entire database. She replied maybe you'll learn to sanitize your Inputs.

I'm pretty sure finding the original comic will give us some perspective, because I'm not sure what the joke is.

Now for a pun:

I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn’t reach the meat that was on the top shelf. He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high.

A good pun is it's own reword.