Ha, well you seem to have your hands quite full since you offered your services for free but hey, I liked your writing style. It made me giggle. So if you'd like to go back and forth on some writing ideas you can check out my project below (Out of the Storm)
It's been a project for less than a month but it's a spinoff of a much larger project I spent the last two years on and $10,000, so this one is a serious project that I WILL finish...so that I can sell some copies and help pay for that larger project that became too much for me.
Anyways you seem like a cool guy and adding a bit of "Fun" to the game might not be a bad idea. I have a habit of making everyone miserable and/or die....characters in the game not my team members!...They die way less often....