Boundless Unity (On Steam Workshop)

[A88mph]

Game can be found though the Steam Workshop. (You may need a copy of VX Ace on Steam to play it)

 

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=308854349&searchtext=

 

Synopsis

 

Boundless Unity is the story of how a young Soldier from Earth was accedently summoned to a planet of Mages to aid them in saving their world. During his time there, he learns much of their culture, and he shares with them his culture as well. This game will be a fairly standered JRPG in the first act (level of grinding may vary as game developes). The secound act is planned to be a mix of JRPG and a diplomatic Visual Novel. The final act is to be combat heavy.

 

 

Characters

 

Edward: A young U.S. Soldier who was spirited away to Vasharen by Syfri. With the help oh his new friends, he will save Vasharen and thwart the conquest of the evil Archmage Mallechlain

 

Syfri: A Floral Mage who lives in the Vasharen capital of Stonewall. She tried summoning a hero to save Vasharen, and unexpectedly summoned Edward from Earth.

 

Furgal: A Red Warrior amoung the ranks of the Stonewall Guard. He joined Edward and Syfri on their quest to defeat Mallechlain after they helped repell an attack on Stonewall.

 

Archmage Mallechlain of Liffin: 1,000 years ago, he, his Shadow Mages, and 5 Demons tried to conquar Vasharen. He and his forces were sealed away to another realm

 



 

 

Locations

 



Vasharen: A world, in another solar system, within the Milky Way, inhabited by Mages.

 

 

Earth: You know what this place is. It's your home, my home, and Edward's home.

 

 

[Cosmic Architect]

I'll go try it out... I'm just trying to figure out how to download this kind of thing lol.(I have steam, but it's not in the normal store)

edit: Lol, I figured it out. I noticed you don't have any in-depth feedback, so I'll write up a review when I've got time. Probably by the end of the week.

 

[Cosmic Architect]

-IMPORTANT- *This review is intended for the creator of this game, NOT someone who is seeing if they would be interested in trying the game out. I don't plan on writing one for an unfinished game unless it is requested of me by the creator. If you would like a hint at what it focuses on, you could look at my critiques at the bottom, but was is NOT written to be representative of this game. Only to try to help the GM in developing their game*

Ok, first of all, this is all my impressions. I am new at reviewing, and certainly don't speak for everyone, I'm just speaking from my own feel for it and experience making games... Oh, and being a writer, I may stress wording a bit, sorry about that ^^'. I should also note that I will call the different sections "scenes", this is because that is how I set up my own games. When I refer to the next "scene", I'm talking about whenever it makes a transition or ends main story dialogue. All the same, I hope it is helpful! beginning on the title screen... Perhaps using something that more closely relates to your game would be better. It feels kind of generic being the default. If you don't feel the others would be better for it, there are plenty of free resources for that online available for commercial use(this also applies to any of the other resources you'll need, just make sure your check the copy rights on it!). Also, it seems there are already 7 save files. easily fixed by reposting it on a version without saves in your next update, just thought I would mention that.

Beginning the game... I like the first scene and the story. I am a bit confused about who the third character was, and I noticed the suits on the characters' face pictures don't match the color of the suits. Also, I recommend changing a bit of the dialogue in the third scene. Some information seems a bit shoved it, I didn't really notice things like him becoming a corporal until the second time I went through it, for example. The chairs and clothing basket in the main character's house are below the character, which is a bit odd. I liked scene 4, although I would take out one or both of the "but"'s. Scene 5, "envision a mana well residing within you" might flow better. For scene 6, adding a quick call for a vote, and "I" by everyone at once would be nice, but that's just me being knit-picky, it's a good scene. Scene 7, she went to the fish to get berries. xD scene 8 " It" flows better. Scene 9 you repeated "I have no idea" Also, the castle he is in seems to have all of it's damage in "clumps". You should spread it out a bit. Scene 10- Nice job, I like it! Scene 11- Good scene, but I'd like to mention this just one time, take it or leave it. When you only have 1-3 words continuing from the last page, I'd ether remove them or pull the whole sentence over.  Scene 12- Perhaps unnecessary, but I'd add at least something here and there to make the other rooms of the house seem "lived in" or at least "used". I like the scene though. Scene 13- I could have sworn... wasn't that one of the other characters using mental's face in the dialogue? I would add something of reasoning right before she decides her father is in danger, like "Was that a demon!?". Other then that, a good scene. Scene 13- Well done, I like it. Scene 14- The antagonist seems a bit one dimensional... Shouldn't he be surprised to be free? Just something... missing. But of course, you'll likely expand on him later... Not to be a stickler about spelling... "due", not "do". Good scene, I feel it could be refined a bit into a better one though. Scene 15- How does she know they also have the crystals? "artifact-S-" Scene 16- Great Scene! Although, you need to move over the selection after she first speaks to him, so wanting a translation makes sense. (this is a little extraneous-I'm a bit amused that choosing "ask for a translation" is still pretty demanding, lol. Also with "... Got a weapon" "yah" "sure, I'll go fight stuff". It's not negative feedback, just a bit funny to me). Scene 17- Might want to move that event to an actual sword, nice scene though. The first battle is kinda boring only being able to use basic attacks with zero risk, maybe you could tune down their health a bit, or let Syfri's attacks do damage. Scene 19- (aw, rudeness gets shut down...) Nice Scene. The battles seem to be a little repetitive though, at least at this point. Scene 20- Very nice! Heh, sorry for this again, but "Very" rather than "vary". Scene 21- Interesting effect. The tower is a bit dull, but it's pretty good overall. I would have them run from off screen, or something like that, implying they had climbed the wall. For transition. Scene 21- Nice scene. I just realized what the bank was for. It makes total sense, but I feel it should've been mentioned somewhere.

-Biggest overall issues and pluses I found-

-It seems that there is NO music or sound in the game... This may seem a bit redundant, but it really adds atmosphere, and doesn't take much work. Sounds may take a bit more time to implement, but it's well worth it.

+An interesting, story driven plot

+Some well made areas.

-Many areas are a bit bland

-The battle mechanics don't draw me in, adding more abilities and elements would greatly help

+Very good custom graphics

That's a good hour's worth of playtime... I'll finish up tomorrow. Again, hope it helps!

 

[A88mph]

Cosmic Architect, Thank you so much for your constructive criticisms. They will assist in the development of this game. I would like this moment to explain a few things though.

1.) I did not make any graphics in the game. They are either the default sprites, or bought from the Steam Store for VX Ace. (they will be properly credited once I get around to making the game's credits scene)

2.) The lack of sound and music at this time was so as to help me focus while debugging the game cut scenes and general game play. (this is a vary early alpha).

3.) Some sections of the world are lightly furnished as I am currently working on laying out the basic foundation of the first act of the main story. Once the baseline for act one is complete, I will begin polishing the world. (making the Over-world larger and more lively, adding music and sounds, side quests. ETC.)

I am really glad that you are enjoying what had been developed so far. Stay tuned as another update should be coming soon.

 

[Cosmic Architect]

Ah, I see. Yah, I like how it's turning out, I'll probably check back again when you release that update. Sorry I didn't continue like I said I would btw, had to leave for a few days. I'll do that sometime this week when I have time.

 

[A88mph]

New update is up on the Workshop. Some changes have been made to the scene introducing Syfri, as well as adding cut scenes after the first boss fight.

 

[A88mph]

The dialog for the next portion of the game is currently being written. While that is being worked on (as well as a few other bugs found in the current build) please send me feedback on the current public build. You can find it on the Steam Workshop though the link below.

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=308854349

 

[Cosmic Architect]

Hey, for fun and practice, I decided to fill in the rooms of the boarding building. You can use it in part, or in full as you like. I don't need credit, although it would be very appreciated. Haha, I'm not sure how to send it yet, but I'm sure I can figure some way out. I'm also tempted to edit some of the other mapping, but only if you think you would like me to.

 

[A88mph]

Hey, for fun and practice, I decided to fill in the rooms of the boarding building. You can use it in part, or in full as you like. I don't need credit, although it would be very appreciated. Haha, I'm not sure how to send it yet, but I'm sure I can figure some way out. I'm also tempted to edit some of the other mapping, but only if you think you would like me to.

How did you do that? I thought I had the files set to "Play Only?"

 

[Cosmic Architect]

That is a very good point that had crossed my mind. I was just going between my projects, and decided to launch your game from the projects screen, and found that it took me to the actual project screen for your game. I was surprised myself.

 

[Cosmic Architect]

Oooooh, I know what happened! I'll PM you considering you probably wouldn't want it out in the open like this...

 

[A88mph]

Sorry its been a while since I updated this post, but I wanted to let you know that production on this project has been suspended until I can perchance MV.

If you would like to see what I have finished with it, as well as look at other projects I have worked on, you can find them here http://a88mph.itch.io