Event Character Creation Contest Feedback

[StrawberrySmiles]

@Haydeos - thanks! I made her last minute because despite coming here everyday, I JUST heard about the contest a few hours ago.

 

[Mrs_Allykat]

@whtdragon wow. just wow. You are an inspiration.

(edit)
Just noticed @OmnislashXX ... Is that Devil Hunter Yhoko? That just made my day. I'm *still* laughing!

 

[OmnislashXX]

It's an off shot version of her. Though the grandmother will still be crazy and the Mom will be somewhat er... loose... In this version, Asamo won't actually disappear. And there will be actually a coherent storyline- complete with a somewhat do-gooder fairy and her lost love, Zen. And Blood Knights.

 

[Starmage]

@yoshiyuki - WOW!! Thats amazing! I really love the effort with the custom arts and sprites!! So cooL!!

 

[Tea's Jams]

@whtdragon I haven't had a chance to really look at other peoples submissions, but I'm stoked to see that you entered! : D

Why are my image links so wonky? They sometimes work when I look at the thread and sometimes they don't...
(I put most of them in spoilers now and that seems to have fixed it.)

 

[msazako]

Images sometimes won't show since the page is trying to load all images at once.

Also, Side-View battler for my mecha is up!

 

[Rhino]

I'm sorry that I haven't been as active in giving feedback here as I would have liked! I've had a busy week and been a bit of a grump.

But after 4 days of work, I've finally got Rosalia's SV Battler up! (I'm so glad I got it finished in time!!!) And I wanted to sneak in a bit more feedback before submissions end, so here goes!

@Vincent Chu Kulvan sounds like a 'beautiful cinnamon roll' tbh, he's too sweet for all the pain he's been given! The part about the soul binding is interesting, becoming a dragon sounds much cooler and more original than being an undead zombie! What role does he get in Asearia Chronicles? (No need to answer if it's a spoiler though(!)

@msazako Nice update! I like the extra animations and how you're expressed the unusual states with colours especially!

@DarthMosher Oooh, I have words to describe Axzug that'd trigger the forums filter! He sounds very dislikable, but I like the fact you've gone with it. There's an abundance of charming characters around, but sometimes it's just way more fun and interesting when a character unashamedly indulges in their selfishness and immorality!

@IguanaGuy The mystic chain sounds like a really cool weapon! I love how you've linked (ehehe) all the skills together with it. Good job it's ended up in Thomas' hands instead of a bad guy, but I'm sure he'll have a fair share of fighting off people who'd like to steal it. I do hope he ends up in a game somewhere!

@Isabella Ava I'm scared...

@EmmaB Anthea really reminds me of a 'lioness' somehow, a great hunter, caring and good with children, and with a little bit of fierce awesomeness!

@Misappi Oh my gosh, who'd of though a character with such a cute face could be so cruel! It's so nice to see someone using those gorgeous face pieces though, and she does seem to have a smugness about her. Those skills are super sadistic though(!)

@Mrs_Allykat Van seems like a really well balanced character, and I like all the background lore you've come up with for his world! You have certainly not been 'corrupted by westerns', just inspired for greatness!

@yoshiyuki Aw, he definitely has a stern-looking face, so I can imagine that most people misunderstand him and think he's being harsh. He's got such a high sense of morality, though, I think he really fits the idea of a perfect 'knight'! And I like the little edit to his sprite to make the Cloak of Justice come to life

@DewottKid Wow, your entry is so detailed! I did read through the lore, but it kind of boggled my mind. There's a lot of places and names to keep track of, some line breaks/paragraphing would really help(!) But Ryuuta's ignorance of his past, and the Brand sound interesting. It's a story that could really go either way...

@Blade365 Andrea is... terrifying, really(!) The only thing is, I think your entry breaks the rules a little...

- Submissions including adult materials such as extreme violence and/or nudity will not be accepted.

And her history includes things such as this,

She had many of them skinned alive, raped, slowly cooked alive, and other such brutality. She basically made the entire tribe extinct.

Personally I like dark things, but I think that it might be tmi/frowned upon for a P-13 setting such as this forum. I might suggest checking with Lunarea, or just editing your post to be a little bit more suggestive instead of the explicit language.

@Draigon Wow, that's certainly a story of 'rags to riches'! Poor Lavrin, even though he's living a nice life now, it must be hard to forget his past. Although I want to say it's a happy ending, really I just feel too bad for the poor guy

@eslabon Arwel's gorgeous! (As one expects from an elf), but her name is also sweet and graceful, it's easy to see how she was able to bind herself to the crown, as she seems to have an equal spirit of light and love!

@OmnislashXX Haha, Monoko's story sounds like it came right out of a comedy/shounen manga! It's really got that balance of the supernatural and 'mundane', and sounds like it'd be really fun to read! (I think it might feel a bit too surreal as a game, since Monoko's got such a personality that I can't really put myself in her shoes if she were a protagonist, but that's just me.)

@Lady Your style is so lovely! The sprites really have a fairy-like gentleness and innocence, even though such a tragic thing has happened to her. I tell how much work has gone into the battler, although personally I would expect this to be more of a non-combat story. Fayette's skills do make her out to be more of a pacifist!

@ArtPant *Looks at the kid/adult sprites* Wow. You can definitely see the impact of Sarina's dark past, and the sort of manic aura she has now!

@slimmmeiske2 Oh no. Lilany's adorkable!!!! I can imagine that she might actually be really devastating in battle, but purely by accident Although if I were at the Moon Academy of Magic, I would definitely be staying far, far, away(!) She might get away with it, but green skin would definitely not suit me XD

@Zabu Bugstick is so cute, but also a bit pitiful. When I see his damage sprite, I kind of want to cry! He looks a bit like a sad squashed little fly But uh... I don't want to take him home. Technical bugs drive me nuts, I can't have him accidentally destroy all my work...

@Mparagames Rotating the damage sprite was an interesting choice, but as a graphics person, the perspective does look a bit off-putting to me. Your story is quite an interesting look at misogyny and feminism, although I think you'll undoubtedly cause some debate about Hopeanne's method. But I like the outcome, I would aspire to walk in her shoes and hope to make our world a better place for everyone too

@StrawberrySmiles I have mixed feelings about Lyria! She's so cute, I want to encourage her and remind her how valuable healers are, but the line

1) Loves when people get hurt because she can finally be "useful" and heal them

worries me a bit(!) I think 'love' is not quite the right word, unless she does have a bit of a selfish side?

@whtdragon Um... isn't it a bit unfair for a creative goddess to compete with us mere mortals? But, I do hate how much I like Torek, everything about him is too cool!

@Pixeloong Awwww! I will give Kana all the praise she wants! She's so cute and-- wait, 777 is still considered as 'in-training'?! Oh no, now I feel like I can't baby her anymore... but I think she'd make a wonderful and loyal familiar, I wish I could summon her!!

@just1witness Felisha's story sounds like the most wonderful dream! And Winket sounds adorable too, I bet this would be such a funny and enjoyable game, I'm just mad I can't play it already

@yoshiyuki Wowow, Nefartim's design and artwork is amazing!

@shadefoundry Poor Grom, I can imagine he's got PTSD after that ordeal! Even though he's beaten the wolves, it's like he'll never be able to escape from them. I hope he finds something else in his life, (besides alcohol), to give him a second chance at a happy ending

@RomEngine Reth is really cool, I don't use XV Ace to know what colours you changed, but I really like his purple theme! Since the dragon had the mercy of allowing him to flee, it does make me question the Drafectorem's righteousness a little bit. Your story has me intrigued to know more... Are you developing it?

@Harosata I have an impression of Aleya being really bubbly, a tad eccentric and mostly a bumbling optimist! I think she'd be incredibly fun in a party!

@Ryisunique Goodness, that must have been something, to grow up believing you were just 'normal', only to have your life turned around one day after a terrifying attack. Michael must really have a strong character to be able to handle all those changes, and the ones ontop after his friends betrayed him. He sounds really admirable!

@HydrangeaxxGlitch So... Marcy is a 'good baddie'! I'm a little concerned that she might break the rules against 'extreme violence' though, although the details of the poison are interesting as to how it gives her victims their 'just deserts'.

@Alextorian Heversirth's sprite definitely has a noble air about it! But there is something about him that seems quite personable and relatable, not at all snooty as nobles are often portrayed in games. I especially like the sketch you drew of his design, it has a cute smugness about it

@Corlagon Efrix seems like she might not quite have earned her nickname as 'Fair'! Although it could just be the cotydf, that's an interesting concept... I hope she manages to keep it at bay

 

[StrawberrySmiles]

@Rhino Probably not a good word. Maybe she's just glad? Or it could be a flaw.

 

[shadefoundry]

@Rhino He tried to pick up the performative arts, but generally he's pretty terrible at it and gets boo'd off stage, which leads to more drinking.

 

[Mrs_Allykat]

@Rhino You've read, digested, and made an informed commentary on so many peoples' works. That is a feat unto itself. Thank you for taking the time to undertake that task. Hats off to you.

As far as my entry, I just wanted a bio that was long enough to give a feel for the character, but leave enough creative room for someone else to make it their character. For example: change the six shooter to a laser pistol, the slums to Mos Eisley, and the character should fit into Star Wars. I don't know if I managed to pull it off, but that was the goal.

 

[RomEngine]

@Rhino Thank you for reading and commentating! The purple is what I most changed, though I did change a bit of the bust colours too.
As for the story, I am developing it yeah, the story itself has been made for this contest and not what's actually in my game (where Reth's a villain and at one point does fight a dragon, so it's kinda close )

 

[IguanaGuy]

@Rhino Thanks for the comments about the LockMage, Thomas. I like the thought of people trying to get the chain for themselves. It made me think about a villain plot where another ruthless man is collecting mystic chain pieces of his own and doing terrible things with its power and everyone starts blaming Thomas so he has to have a showdown with him before things get worse. Oh yeah, this is how my projects get abandoned and a new one gets started.

 

[Nightblade50]

@starlight dream Ahahah, I like that one

 

[Tea's Jams]

I've gotten through the first page of submissions for MV so far. Everyone has done such a great job!

@Thomas Smith Ummm, ok. I'm glad I don't know that guy.

@JtheDuelist Well, I guess that didn't turn out the way he had hoped, haha.

@Caitlin But wolves are sooo cool, why the hate?!

@TWings I love the Star Trek vibe this character has (huge star trek fan BTW)

@Starmage Ooh a detective? Does this mean you're working on a detective game now?

@D.L. Yomegami OMG! I LOVE this story. I just want to know one thing. What's the release date and how do I get this game???
Seriously though, this character concept is incredible and the story has a TON of potential. I love love love this one.

@bgoldman07 I like the story behind his name, it sounds like a noble cause.

@Luckysince97 Are you sure he's not the Hulks brother?... ;P

@22pepperjack That sounds like a sad start to life

@Hatake-hime Aww poor Hatty, I hope she finds some friends.

@Artille What a scary thought, ending up in area 51 as a test subject *shudder*

@W.M.K I hope I'm that good of shape at 62!

@ArielSystem Dang lava skin?

@miningteam2 He certainly became much more than an ordinary school kid!

@Milennin Such a sad story, poor Mei.

@hiddenone Hmm, I can think of the possibilities this character presents, cool.

@The Mighty Palm "humans are the most frightening monsters of all" Sad, but often true...

 

[starlight dream]

@Thomas Smith Thanks I had fun trying to find a silly idea. Shouldn't have waited for the nick of time though. I ran out of time to polish my barrel LOL Ah well... Gimme a badge! xd

 

[Nightblade50]

@Thomas Smith Thanks I had fun trying to find a silly idea. Shouldn't have waited for the nick of time though. I ran out of time to polish my barrel LOL Ah well... Gimme a badge! xd

No badge yet

 

[IguanaGuy]

@shadefoundry Your character is awesome and fun. Who would think of making fleas a BUFF for your character and a STATE you can inflict on an enemy. I can just see enemies jumping out of the way as this stinking coat comes flying towards them and the one guy not looking gets it right in the face. Everyone else just gets away from him cause now he has fleas galore. Add a state where no one in his party will heal him or give him items cause they don't want to be near him now. Double punishment.

 

[TWings]

@TWings I love the Star Trek vibe this character has (huge star trek fan BTW)

Funny, I didn't really think about it while making it (except for the name lol), but now that you mention it, I guess it has some Star Trek feels !

 

[EmmaB]

@Rhino Thanks! I hadn't really thought of it that way, but I guess it actually fits well, lol.

 

[shadefoundry]

@IguanaGuy Thank you! I was hoping that the inherent silliness of him would shine through his unpleasant backstory, and it seems like it did