Dating apps. Have you tried any?

Discussion in 'General Lounge' started by gomes766, Dec 17, 2018.

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  1. gomes766

    gomes766 Villager Member

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    I like millions of other folks have been using online dating for many years now. I met my original BF on OKC back in 2016 and I met one more of my ex's there in 2017.

    I however find OKC to be beyond idiotic lately with there new update to the messaging system, as of now it became a Ghost Town. So right now I'm in a bit of a pickle, I know there are many new dating sites/apps. Any suggestions?
     
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  2. Diego2112

    Diego2112 The Gaming Gamer Who Games Veteran

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    I know a guy what met his wife via eHarmony. Between him, and what their commercials promise, I'd say it's a fairly safe bet. I don't really know of any others that are as reputable.
     
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  3. Silenity

    Silenity Veteran Veteran

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    Over the past year, I improved a lot on myself. Peep this progress:
    [​IMG]
    So I just started getting into dating. I've only really tried Tinder with some success. It's pretty hit or miss. It's tough for sure. But I've enjoyed it.
    However, females will get literally thousands of messages/matches at a time. But it's hella thirsty dudes out there.
    Tinder is blessing and curse.
    I like it because I'm low-key awkward as hell in real life. But I'm weirdly confident over text. So it makes it a lot easier to talk to girls in person when we meet.
    But it's also a curse because holy sheep, expectations are high. I've been straight ghosted a ton already and I've only been using Tinder for like 4 months.
    The dating game moves fast, which I understand, so no real hard feelings.
    Idk where I'm going with this
     
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  4. mlogan

    mlogan Global Moderators Global Mod

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    Just a reminder to keep this discussion PG-13. It's been fine so far, but seems it has some potential to stray.
     
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  5. joombo

    joombo Veteran Veteran

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    I tried Tinder but I don't really photo well and after the 6th cancellation in a row I gave up. Luckily I found DOWN dating app not so long ago. It is very convy app for women and men to meet each other and flirt. With its help I can find someone cute nearby quickly. I've already had a few coffee dates with nice girls.
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2018
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  6. Tuomo L

    Tuomo L Oldbie Veteran

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    Tinder, it's pretty solid.

    But please, actually fill your description and put up some photos. Women nitpick saying that guys need to have personality but when I was at Tinder, some women had only whale emoji and sun emoji in her description. Unless she's looking for whalesized men for sunny days, I don't think that gave a good idea of what she was after or anything about herself. So, please don't be that girl, actually show your personality, it'll be easier for the people to get to know you and talk to you about stuff that interest you both to help build common ground.


    I was on few Tinder dates and I really think it's a good service (though it should tell you how many free likes you have per day) but I didn't find my girlfriend from there but I know few people who have gotten into serious relationships.
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2018
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  7. Silenity

    Silenity Veteran Veteran

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    Girls don't really have to put any effort at all. A lot of guys literally just swipe right on EVERYTHING regardless. I have female friends and 9 times out of 10 if they swipe right on someone, it's an instant match. Also, only guys have limited likes. Females get unlimited likes. They want us to pay for tinder premium features. But if you live in a college town or decent sized city, 100% NOT worth.
     
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  8. Tuomo L

    Tuomo L Oldbie Veteran

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    I didn't pay for anything and still had lots of matches. I only talked to the ones who put effort though because how can I even approach a woman who don't even put anything in there? Not much common ground things that you can say aside true facts like "Tomorrow is tuesday" or "There sure is lots of water on Earth" etc.
     
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  9. samkfj

    samkfj Bug Powder Veteran

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    Oh--man...

    I can tell you some things about dating sites. I have to get to work... but I'll edit this post when I return home.

    Some good, some bad... but in a nutshell, I have some wisdom to share. @mlogan I will keep it pg-13 too. Promise.

    Okay!--So just got home from work...

    I used eHarmony first. I hated it. I went out on two dates--within a month of each other. It found very few matches... and the only person I really connected with was in Florida. I do not suggest it. I don't know if they changed it--but back then (2006?) you couldn't find matches--they were given to you based on questions you would have to answer. I suppose I answered them poorly, because matches came once in a blue moon.

    I switched over to Match afterward--and well... the results were completely different.

    As @Matseb2611 said in his post below--Match is one of those sites that has no moderation, a lot of hookups (more on that in a sec) and inactive accounts.

    If what you're looking for is a hookup--Match is good for that. There was a time where I had a date with up to three different women per week--and I did this for almost two years. The signs are there if you know what to look for.

    If you're looking for a meaningful relationship--you'll find it there too, but beware the warning signs. If they say things like "Looking for fun." "New in town." or "Wanting to meet new people." Then yes, it's a hookup.

    I had two meaningful relationships (by meaningful--I mean it wasn't just sex, and the words "girlfriend/love" were used) thanks to Match. But yes... I admit... I had many many more hookups. It really depends on what you want. Be on the lookout for people that have their profiles all over the place... if their information is not consistent, or it sounds too good to be true--it probably isn't.

    Also--beware of catfishes, they are RAMPANT on Match. Also beware of people that want to meet in secluded places. Dallas/Ft. Worth is a huge sex trafficking zone, girls should beware of any strange people that push wanting to meet. It doesn't matter where you are--just really be careful.

    I learned this from an old gf of mine (I met her on Match; Lt. in the Navy; beautiful... like wow.) She said to not give your name so quickly--and if they pursue asking to meet without even learning your name; it could be a warning sign.

    Now--don't let these things scare you; there are great people on there, the same as there are bad ones. Just have to sift long enough to find them.

    For guys: If her profile is 99% about her career; she either has nothing meaningful to contribute or that's all she knows to talk about. Also--DO NOT let a pretty face fool you; a lot of girls on there are just as afraid as you are, take the chance, and you might find a really great Navy Lieutenant too! (I miss her </3)

    For girls: Beware a guy that has only pictures of himself--he's looking for a hookup. If he says his best quality is his "brain/mind" he's full of sheep, and possibly scum. If he has tons of pictures of him being surrounded by other women... don't worry, they're just his friends or relatives... I call it "Girling" the act of surrounding ourselves with attractive women to make us look important. It works. I think there was another word for it--but I forget--it's been a while.

    For Both: If you find a person you like, for whatever reason. Do not hesitate to message them. Keep your information secret though, don't give out your name so quickly. Let it be something they earn. Talk to them like you would any new person. Read their profile, if they have nothing--start conversation about something you like. If they don't respond or seem interested (IE; if they ghost you, or respond slowly) just let it go.
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2018
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  10. Silenity

    Silenity Veteran Veteran

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    I usually dont go for girls without a lot in their bio either. Cus 9/10 if they dont have a bio then they are MUCHO attractive. And I already know I cant compete lmfao. One of my female friends showed me the guys she matches with. Friggin 10/10 god bod hotties. HOW DO YOU COMPETE WITH THAT. Even if they are catfishing, theres gotta be dudes who are insanely attractive we going up against.

    But I push all that aside anyway and shoot my shot. So far, it hasnt been to bad.
     
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  11. Tuomo L

    Tuomo L Oldbie Veteran

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    I dunno, I've seen the no bio on all sorts of women. The whale and sun in description was on a very plain looking girl's profile.
     
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  12. Silenity

    Silenity Veteran Veteran

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    Even still, girls dont really have to try. For every 1 dude who swipes left because they need more info 50 other guys swipe right lol.
     
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  13. rue669

    rue669 Veteran Veteran

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    I actually met my wife on a dating app called Happn where if you cross each other you'll show up as a potential match if you both like each other. Since I live in downtown Toronto without a car, I didn't want to date someone who lived far and she lived like a 10 minute walk from me so it was perfect. And now we live together!

    She's a wonderful wife. Perfect in every way.
     
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  14. Matseb2611

    Matseb2611 Innovate, don't emulate Veteran

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    If you're actually hoping to connect on any level other than superficial, Tinder is a bad choice. It's a vanity game where all you do is just judge people based on their profile photo. Even if you put a profile info, let's face it, most people don't, and most people don't even read it.

    I've tried many dating apps in the past and I've not had much luck on most of them. Eharmony, Match.com, Plentyoffish, Okcupid, Zoosk, and plenty others, many of which I don't recall names of now (Ok, I did get to meet and spend time with someone from Okcupid, but only one person really). You'll run into many of the same problems with many of these dating sites. A lack of sufficient number of good matches, fake or inactive profiles, lack of any moderation, users who are only after a hookup, huge paywalls (so even if you're a paying member, you can bet most people you send messages to aren't), and so on.

    Personally, I'm now finding a lot more luck communicating with women from abroad, so it might be a good idea to expand your search beyond your country, if you're not having luck. But you might want to use dating sites that are more international in nature, or even other online places that aren't dating related. You might have to do a lot of trial and error, but if you persist and notice the patterns, you might have luck in optimizing your search by figuring out what sort of places you're most likely to get replies on and which cultures might have people whose worldviews are more in line with yours. Good luck!
     
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  15. samkfj

    samkfj Bug Powder Veteran

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    @Matseb2611 I have to agree with you there, bro; about dating abroad.

    I suppose--in a way, it's similar but different. I dated a girl from your country many years ago... she changed my life. Went back home to be with her mama, never saw her again... still miss her to this day.

    I knew then--that I wouldn't be happy unless I found another European girl. And found I did.
     
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  16. Poryg

    Poryg Pixie of the Emvee kingdom Veteran

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    My experience with dating apps is, I've grown tired of having to write 3-6 unique opening messages a week. I was as unsuccessful as I could be.
     
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  17. Tuomo L

    Tuomo L Oldbie Veteran

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    Looks do matter. It's the first thing that you see when you meet someone. And you if you find your lover absolutely repulsive, there's no way that you'll be able to look at them every night for rest of your lives.
     
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  18. Matseb2611

    Matseb2611 Innovate, don't emulate Veteran

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    @Tuomo L : Oh, I absolutely agree that looks matter, especially for men (men pay attention on looks more, because from evolutionary standpoint, we're hardwired to look for a healthy and fertile woman for our offspring). However, I just don't think that looks alone are enough if you want a sustainable long-term and meaningful relationship. And the problem with apps like Tinder is that there are a lot of vain people on there who only base their judgement on looks and superficial qualities (due to how the app is designed). Many even aren't looking for something long-term but rather just a hookup. Of course, you could find a meaningful relationship there, but you're going to go through so much chaff before you'll find it.

    @samkfj : Thanks, man. I think it can really help if we look abroad, especially in countries where people's values are more in-line with yours. There's more understanding and mutual worldview this way, and you won't need to try too hard to prove yourself to someone who just doesn't understand where you're coming from. The only thing required is for us to do some research and some trial and error, to see which kind of people we click with best. Every culture is quite different, and you know, you might find yourself even very interested in a totally new culture. Personally I find that there are a lot more family-oriented women in the Eastern parts of the world (Asia, Middle East, Eastern Europe), so those places are worth a shot if you are having trouble finding family-oriented women in the west who aren't taken already. (Although, even within these countries the mindsets of people in different regions can differ very vastly, so it's worth keeping in mind too!)
     
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  19. Arisa

    Arisa probably dead Veteran

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    Dating apps :kaoswt:
    I personally don't recommend them at all as you never know who you'll get (especially since you'll likely meet up, but the same could be said for anything) but I've heard sites like Match and eHarmony are good.
    My friend met her long term boyfriend on Bumble but I would not recommend Bumble and Tinder (and similar apps/sites) if I'm being honest. One of my good friends had a terrible breakup from some girl on Tinder who was only looking for a hookup, and I see the majority of users are only looking for hookups, which is a shame sometimes.
     
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  20. samkfj

    samkfj Bug Powder Veteran

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    @Arisa Yeah, it really depends on what you're looking for when it comes to those apps. I don't mind a hookup (generally) but long lasting companionship is there.

    One of my more memorable relationships from there originated as a hookup. (From Match.)
     
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