Dialogue Workshop

Discussion in 'Resource Workshops' started by Bonkers, Jan 4, 2015.

  1. NarikoStudios

    NarikoStudios Lover of Catgirls Veteran

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    Hey, i'd like to see if you could do this for my game if thats good with you I'm not too good at writing and feel my game might suffer because of how I've written it so would be really helpful should I pm you the idea and sprite sheets with the bios?


    wasn't sure if should send anything unless you accepted
     
    #41
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  2. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    @NarikoStudios Not to worry, a slot is open.  I was just about to post an update.  Go ahead and send me your idea.  No sprites yet, because I can't do anything unless I am familiar with the project.  Let's get the ground work set up first.
     
    #42
  3. NarikoStudios

    NarikoStudios Lover of Catgirls Veteran

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    I've sent you the idea and main story so when can we set up the ground work?
     
    #43
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  4. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    I've gotten it, and will be reviewing it till the weekend.  That's when I do a majority of my workshop workload.  Let me organize things since your game looks like you want to split into two separate games for the story.  So we'll concentrate on the first and get that squared away.
     
    #44
  5. NarikoStudios

    NarikoStudios Lover of Catgirls Veteran

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    Yeah im currently working on the first but think it would be such a big game so its been split into two


    Did you like the idea though?
     
    #45
  6. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    @NarikoStudios and @Nirwanda have both been attended too.  The que is currently free!


    Please keep in mind I am currently in a two month long obligation of game jaming, and I'll be moving as of July 29th.


    For that reason, I'll only be taking IGMC submissions from this point on till the official announcement is made for the contest..


    Thank you everyone for making this year so successful for this workshop.


    Over 150 pages of dialogue reviewed, as well as numerous play tests done already.  We may even see a review of Wanda soon.  I've enjoyed playing it and now with it's update I need to look at it again to give some more detailed praise for it's very bold approach to a puzzle solving story.
     
    #46
  7. Nirwanda

    Nirwanda Procrastimancer Veteran

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    Hey thanks for reviewing my game, your services and advice are very appreciated. Good luck with your new projects too :)
     
    #47
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  8. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    I was very sorry to hear about the IGMC being cancelled this year.  I'll be reopening the workshop now that the dust is clearing from last month's game jam.


    If you have content aimed at VNM or visual novels in general, this workshop will be supporting games made with that product as well.  I currently have beta access and will be able to report my experiences soon.


    On another note I will be attempting some POP! Horror City tiles, but cannot release them until I get in contact with Vex.  Currently I have several sprites to share in the Time Fantasy Style and will be doing more tiles for it as well.


    I'll be offering bust assistance soon.  The styles I'll offer from this workshop will be conceptual, pixel, and drawn.  I'll have a few examples of my work for September if the move goes well. 
     
    #48
  9. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    Hello all.  Sorry for the long hiatus.  Things are back up and running again.  If you wish to assign time to a project, please bear in mind I'll be restricted to do some on days off which fluctuate now since my move and getting settled.  I tend to have three free days a week, so there is plenty of time to assist you.


    Right now the only current project is Atonement 2: Commerical.  I'll be providing a detailed synopsis as always and giving you a first impression of the game as soon as @Matseb2611 lifts the NDA.


    I'll be able to talk more about what I've been doing as soon as the other two NDAs lift.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 16, 2016
    #49
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  10. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    Alright @Matseb2611 has cleared me to share my thoughts on Atonement 2: Ruptured by Dispair.  This is the second in a series he's done, and the latest benefactor of the workshop.

    The first Atonement's story set the stage for a new story to unfold, however this
    installment took an unexpected turn.  Instead of just being a direct sequel it took on
    elements to split the story between an ancestor to become part prequel.


    As the paths converge you will start to see the main character Elleria in a new light.  She
    has had so much power thrust upon her that at the point the previous story concluded, it
    has cause a separate time line to splinter producing an alternative version of everyone;
    and now the alternative Elleria intends to bring her evil plan to fruition.


    It's up to you as Elleria to stop Elleria.  I was confused at first, since there is little
    in the way to discriminate the two when they talk, other than fogged up irises.  Had the
    portraits been flipped or a different wardrobe been used, or even facial scares I'd been
    able to tell the difference more readily.


    The game follows a similar layout, with elements from outrage and city of chains where
    characters spend SP to learn new abilities and passives rather than start with all their
    abilities up front.  Gone are equipment and weapon slots, rather you had augment-able orbs
    which can be equipped to everyone for weapon and armor slots 3 to a person.  Here is where I
    wish the passives took a more active roll and allowed the player to spend for more slots
    per character.  You are sadly locked into a cookie cutter format here where everyone must
    be built the same for an ideal roll.  Most orbs will cater to percentages for attack, and
    defense will be a flat value.  Better orbs will grant immunity to statuses and energy
    regeneration/cost reduction for skill use.


    My main objection to this was combining two of the original cast into one super
    support/offensive party members that was essentially in the back seat for most of the game.
    All of the duo's particular skills defined them more than anyone else in the party, and
    gave the two a more dedicated spot in the later half of the game.


    Here is where the main component of battle comes into play, you need relics.  They aren't
    optional.  And having the right relics on the right characters can mean a lot less painful
    boss fights.  Don't overlook something that gives a skill, an ability, or even a turn
    based effect.


    Elleria is so vividly good, and happily the developer took the extra time to improve her in
    battle performance to be even better.  Gone is the ultra OP moves that are now governed by
    max hp rather than doing flat out damage to allow the characters to have their moments.  Though nothing can top the ultra high fast paced world of face kicking mages, Elleria had her softer moments as well.  To show the stark differences between the worlds and the physically identical heroine/villainess you see many times how the two's perspectives clash only to bring both back again to a "convergence" of power.  The two face an inescapable journey where one must succeed the other.
     
    #50
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  11. Matseb2611

    Matseb2611 Innovate, don't emulate Veteran

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    Thank you very much for the review, man, and much appreciated with the testing you did as well. Hope more people try out this workshop. B)
     
    #51
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  12. Vexed

    Vexed Malibu Darby Veteran

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    I highly, highly reccomend Palladin for all your writing feedback/workshopping needs. Fast, to the point, constructive criticism that really hits on the points you need it to. Really helpful and no-nonsense. I'll definitely be calling on him again in the future!
     
    #52
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  13. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    [​IMG]


    The NDA on one of my projects has lifted.  I was a spriter for the generator children DLC for MV season pass.  It was exciting to work with WhiteDragon and Marimo, and it was a tremendous learning experience.  The preview thread is here:  






    Warning, the cuteness may consume you.  


    If you have the season pass, and want to let us know what you enjoyed/disliked about this update there will be an official post up soon for when it's available for download.  I'm very happy to contribute and look forward to participating in future restaffs, etc.  The Holiday event is coming up, please feel free to PM me requests.


    I've got quite a bit more in the works, and as always I am happy to help the community through this free service.  This is something that cannot be ignored in game design. Consultation, and editing can save your game.  Please consider what I am offering.  It's free, and it's available to you.  There is no excuse for you to pass up on something that benefits you.
     
    #53
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  14. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    [​IMG]


    2016 brought about unprecedented success to the workshop.  


    Let's see who benefited:


    Masteb
    Atonement 2: Ruptured by Dispair (Commercial)
    Outrage (Commercial)



    Ace of Aces_Mod
    Immortal Sins (Revision 150 pages)


    Archeia
    Season DLC MV 2 and 4 (Commercial)
    NDA (Commercial)


    NarikoStudios (Concept)


    Nirwanada (Playtesting)


    Vex Enigma (Concept)


    I've gotten my foot into the door for two years now, and soon it will be time to write full on commercial for a ghost writing project.  I will be posting an example of my writing capabilities as soon as the NDA lifts.


    To review the year this workshop saw an tremendous increase in support.  Not only did people return to use it's services again, but new people began to use it on a much larger scale.  I'm very happy the community has benefited from it, and it will be expanding
    to meet the needs of game developers.


    I sold myself short with the initial consultation and introduction of what this workshop can do for you.  My success is your success.  Congratulations to you all!
     
    #54
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  15. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    What does a Producer do for your game?


    A Producer is someone that oversees the project from start to finish.  They make long term and short terms goals which lead to the game being made in a timely fashion.


    This can take the form of progress meetings, cutting unnecessary features, and even setting meetings for staff to gauge progress and set reassignment.


    Not all projects are solo ventures.  The more staff you have, the more you risk loosing and even wasting time.  Having someone to organize on a daily basis would significantly boost your chances of meeting your intentions.



    Please bear in mind:
    This isn't marketing in any form.  I will not promote, enable any offsite construction, or other off site marketing campaign you have.  That is a public relations job. 
    I'm not marketing your game.  Do not ask.  Marketing is not the focus of this workshop.  I will not set up your kickstarter, or similar money laundering platform.


    If you wish to use my as a producer to the project you must credit me as such.  This isn't like Ghost Writing where I remain off the credits list:  must be put somewhere in the thread, actual game documentation, and game credits.   Ghost Writing is the only service I offer where I do not receive credit for my work.
     
    #55
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  16. The007who

    The007who Call me double 0s Veteran

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    Is a slot open?
    If so, I need a dialogue writer. My game is lacking in that section.
    Any help is appreciated :)
     
    #56
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  17. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    Matseb's newest game is about to debut on steam. I just finished Beta testing and have cleared a review with him to post of Mercury-Cascade into Madness:
    Mercury is the kind of character whom makes even some of the scum in this distopian city look good. She's cruel, aggressive, and quick to kill. Her first introduction in Masteb's previous game left me with the impression she wasn't someone to center an entire game around. If anything Spade or Spider would have been my guess for focus, due to their ability to get around in the less shadowy parts of a crumbling society heavy with corruption.

    The origin of her vigilantism is Michelle, a normal woman who is one day raped on the streets of the unforgiving city. She's left broken, and vulnerable. The horrifying experience leads her to Allan a local arms and pharmaceutical dealer that takes her in and ensures she gets medical attention. During this period she changes drastically. Instead of being persuaded into coping with what happened she leans towards wanting revenge, and outright blood for the crime. Normally this would be a very human response, but Michelle's damage psyche goes further than than, and makes a huge leap.

    She doesn't want this to happen to any one ever again. Let me repeat that. Not any woman ever again, ANYONE. She's not some feminist advocate that wants to protect all women, or someone that thinks women are weak and thus needs protection. She believes in the protection and guarantee of safety of men as well. The experience didn't sully her against men, and in fact male support roles are something this game does astonishing well.

    It doesn't demean their role, nor does it steal the spot light from Mercury. Upon her recovery, and gentile nudging back into society from the hospital bed Alan begins to see how drastically Michelle is changing. Now she intentionally wants to go out at night and find the scumbags who did this, again a normal human thought. Not enough though, because she wants to find the people who control the thugs who did this and allowed them to rampage over the city in the first place, anyone connected to them be it a business or an organization, and shut them down for the sake of all innocent people involved. Yikes. Batman can't even do that, and he's a billionaire. You got your work cut out for you lady. She literally is thinking of taking a knife, gutting the city and cutting out the rot. Amputating a limb if necessary.

    Allan see this and tries his best to convince her otherwise. When he fails he doesn't physically try to stop her or contact the police, and instead gives her weaponry and drugs to fight the scum of the city. Now armed by her supplier Michelle head out into the night, and change things around. Through her actions you can shape how the story goes.

    Your choices have real consequences which can merit new allies, or alienating yourself completely in times of need. Your actions can have repercussions on those you are protecting as well as those you fight. If that wasn't enough the familiar array of weaponry at your disposal is complimented by the skill system. Here you have the main character that can not only grow in terms of mechanics, but on the level of the story you want as well. Like with previous games Charisma goes a very long way in and out of battle.

    As Michelle turns into Mercury it becomes apparent she is having an effect and that the city starts to acknowledge what she does. The police, including your acquaintance Brent have a major role to play. Brent is the typical good cop, with a bit of a twist: He has backwards judgement. He sees Mercury as a victim, even after the seemingly senseless killing and destruction she causes. He also implicitly trusts Michelle, but not engage her in a romantic sense. Brent may have failed the psyche test to be a cop, I am almost certain. Through his help you are able to root out corruption even in the city's enforcers. "Hey, Brent Investigate this guy," "Okay." The next day headlines, "Corrupt cop arrested", why didn't we do this before?

    Another major player in the plot is an organization called the Order of Enlightenment. A very traditional looking church with a specific manifesto in mind "Technology must serve man, but is evolving too quickly to control". It makes sense, and they provide comfort and support in an age where technology is being abused and mishandled. It's mission is to provide better guidelines for the ethics and control of new technologies so they cannot be used to harm people, but better society instead. Naturally an altruistic order like this needs sponsors, and that leads to one question. Where does the money come from other than patrons to support this cult?

    The plot doesn't stop there, as there are many side quests to undertake that enrich the story and give the player more skill points, items, and options towards the main tasks.

    This game is huge. There is so much to do, and keeping that organized was well done on Matseb's part. His ability grows with each games he makes is impressive, and his goals are indeed becoming more lofty. Right now the City of Chains, Outrage, and now Mercury's own story are all connected to the same world which has been fleshed out and constructed.

    My only complaint is this, the solution to City of Chains is the antagonist's victory in Mercury. Who controls the safeguards, or what happens if the AI becomes corrupt? Well CoC didn't touch on that, whoops. I hope no corporation engineers their own AI leader/enforcer or gets control of the one currently in power. I know a certain engineer who may have been a little too hasty.
     
    Last edited: Apr 13, 2017
    #57
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  18. Matseb2611

    Matseb2611 Innovate, don't emulate Veteran

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    I said it on the PM, but will say it here as well. Thank you very much for the detailed review and all the feedback, man. It's definitely helped. And thank you also for the computer parallax background. I'll upload the screenshot where it's seen in action in the game's thread in a few days' time once I make a big post with a trailer and all the other stuff.
     
    #58
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  19. Neo Soul Gamer

    Neo Soul Gamer Veteran Veteran

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    Checking to see if there's a slot open for Beta testing my game.
     
    #59
  20. Bonkers

    Bonkers Bioware, do you need a nap? Restaff

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    @Neo Soul Gamer The earliest I start is Saturday, I haven't had contact with my long term commitment in over a week so I assume he is still working on writing. Let me know how soon you need it done, and I'll be ready to receive files tomorrow.

    Please specify where you would like the feedback concentrated.
     
    #60

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