Do you have a funny story to tell me?

Discussion in 'General Lounge' started by Kupotepo, Nov 3, 2018.

  1. Kupotepo

    Kupotepo Fantasy realist Veteran

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    Hello everyone here:
    I believe many people have a sense of humor. Your funny story would light my day up. It is a stressful environment likely for me. I would thank you for sharing your story and make me laugh:kaojoy::kaojoy::kaojoy::kaojoy::kaojoy::kaojoy:
     
    #1
  2. MushroomCake28

    MushroomCake28 Great Sorcerer Ainz Ooal Gown-sama Veteran

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    This is the story of a family, dad, mom and their little son. However, this isn't the image of a perfect family, since the mom is having an affair. One day, while the man the mom is having an affair with is keeping her company, the husband returns home. With incredible haste, the man grabs his things and hides in the closet, but in there he meets someone... the son!

    "What are you doing here?" asks the child.

    "I will pay you 50$ if you keep quiet about this." answers the man.

    "Make it 500$ and we have a deal." responded the child.

    And thus, the man fled without trouble when the opportune time came, and the child kept quiet.

    A few days later, while the mom is having another affair with the same man, her husband returns home early another time! So the man used the same strategy he used and hid in the closet. The child was there, again.

    "You're here again?!" says the man.

    "This time the price is 1000$" answers the child.

    And so the man escaped. The next day, seeing his son with lot of money, the father asks his son how he got it.

    "Someone gave it to me in exchange for my silence on his secrets." replied the son.

    "Son, that's terrible! You blackmailed someone! Never do that again!" yelled the father.

    The father, angry with his son, decided he had to take him to the church to confess his sins. There, the father brought his son to the priest. When the priest laid eyes on the child, he was surprised. At that moment, his exact words were:

    "You again!"
     
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  3. OmnislashXX

    OmnislashXX Veteran Veteran

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    Hmm. One day I woke up and I had the wood. It was insanely bad but worse because I had to also pee. So I went to the bathroom and went to pee and...lacerated myself. My manhood felt like it had fallen off. Couldn't whizz for days.
     
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  4. Kupotepo

    Kupotepo Fantasy realist Veteran

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    #4
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  5. Darth Equus

    Darth Equus Veteran Veteran

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    An elderly man has reached 120 years of age, so a major news program interviews him once they confirm he really is that old.

    Reporter: So, Mr. Richards, can you tell our viewers what's the secret to reach this advanced age?

    Mr. Richards: Well, it's really important to avoid arguing with your friends and neighbors; it's never good to be contrarian or antagonize anybody.

    Reporter: But people can't live that long just by doing that, can they?

    Mr. Richards: Oh, no. If you say so, sonny, then no.

    ********************

    An association of comedians is holding its 50th anniversary convention, and to celebrate such important occasion, they invite some of the greatest comedians in the world to host the opening night. The association is so large and organized, that they have catalogued practically every joke known up to that moment, assigning a number to each, making for easy reference, printing, and memorization; thus each comedian had to simply say the catalogue number of the joke whenever it was their turn on stage at the hotel the convention was taking place, and every other comedian would know exactly what joke they were talking about.

    One of the best comedians of the century steps up and says "Joke #23", and after a rimshot, everyone starts laughing wholeheartedly, some holding their bellies.

    An elderly comedian steps up and mentions joke #1005, to some good-natured facepalms and wheezing laughter as a response.

    A novice comedian simply winks while referencing joke #252, making all the gentlemen blush while laughing, thanks in great part to her delivery. And so on for a good part of the night.

    A comedian who had come out of retirement then steps up and says "Joke #663!", but no one laughs, making for some very uncomfortable silence for a few seconds, until all of a sudden, someone starts to laugh like an idiot in the back of the club, slamming his fist on the table over and over, earning him some disapproving looks from the others.

    "Dude," the experienced jokesters at his table ask him, "Why are you laughing like that? That joke isn't even good!"

    "Maybe, ha ha ha ha ha!" the alluded guest replies, wiping a tear and gasping for breath, "But I had never heard it before! HA HA HA HA HA!"

    *******************

    There was once a developer named Darth Equus who wrote, planned, saved for and started to develop a game with RMVX.

    He planned to complete it in two years. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    >__>
    <_<

    I'll see myself out.
     
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2018
    #5

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