Eternia-The Gate to paradise

BlackRoseMii

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
679
Reaction score
620
First Language
German
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
Hey there! This is my first game using RPG Maker VX. It's pretty old already, but I decided to finish it now. Unfortunatly I'm not the best in creating a game and all I can use are things already existing in the Maker. I have next to no experience with scripting at all and the events are pretty one-sided too, but I really did my best^^


Here is the progress I made so far:


Story:

Spoiler




A legend that was told centuries ago, now forgotten…A legend that led thousands of people into their deaths….Just to cling to a single light of hope….


A legend, that is not allowed to be known about anymore…


When you see that single light, will you dare and try your luck, finding the place nobody else was able to?


Vincent is a poor fisherman living in a small town. As if his lack of money wouldn’t already be enough, due to the high taxes his boss has to fire him and left Vincent with nothing more than what he wears and a mysterious diary authored by his grandfather.


This diary holds a secret his grandfather kept and wanted to give to his grandson. It contains the way to reach paradise, as it is told in legends he used to tell him. Vincent decides to go on a journey to find the gate to paradise and it’s 10 guardians, who hold the keys, since he has no other choice.


During his journey he meets other people, who are victims of their own lives:


-Leah: A shy young girl, who has lost her parents and is now unable to speak. Leading the townspeople to fear and hate her, calling her a witch.


-Sam: A tomboyish girl, with a slight aggression problem, who has been exploited by a corrupt man and joins the group in order to find a better life and to calm her explosive attitude.


-Oni: A mysterious boy, who seems to hate the human race and hides a dark secret nobody would have expected.


-Julian: A boy, who loves women and hates everything, that makes him work. He was put into monastery by his foster parents for his behaviour.


[SIZE=12pt]Together they seek for a better future in paradise. But none of them could have imagined the cruel truth behind the legend and what Oni has to do with it. [/SIZE]



Characters:

Spoiler




Vincent:


Age: 24


Weapon: Sword


A hard worker and the most determinded to find paradise. His parents died when he was 18 and his grandfather left when he was 13. He loves books and the stories his grandfather read him. Once he finds the travelling merchant Huxley, he starts to get interested in this kind of business.


He likes to flirt with women, but knows his limits unlike Julian.


Leah:


Age: 19


Weapon: Bow and a bit magic


A shy girl who has been treated badly by the townspeople. She's unable to talk since she saw her parents die when she was a small child. The people call her a witch, because of this. The only person who gives her shelter is the local priest. After she meets Vincent, she decides to travel with him. She communicates with other through writing.


Sam:


Age: 21


Weapon: Gloves and Claws


A girl who was born in the poor district of her town. She had to live on her own for a very long time and was eventually hired as a boxer (I hope thats the correct english word) for illegal matches. Her boss keeps telling her, she would get her money, but since she has never seen one bit of it, she leaves the town and joins Vincents group. She hates it if people try to help her.


Oni:


Age: Unknown


Weapon: Two swords and a bit of magic


This boy is as mysterious as possible. And he drives the group crazy with this. He never wants to talk about anything, especially not why he is able to tell the whereabouts of the guardians. He despises humans and everything they do, but he still travels with them. Yet another mystery. Vincent and he can't stand each other but over the time, they argue less and less, until Oni even saves Vincents life.


Julian:


Age:21


Weapon:Staff and healing magic


The one who is the less deteminded to find the paradise. His real parents died when he was just a year old so friends of them took him in. He's flirty and loves women just as much as he likes to annoy people. That's why his foster parents send him into the monastery to change himself. Which doesn't really help. He joined the group just to get out of there, but during their journey, he finds out the truth of his parents and how they died.




Spoiler





Screenshots:

Spoiler



New screenshots!

Spoiler
























Credits:


-RPG Maker VX Ace- Enterbrain


-Graphics:


Faces - Me


Tiles - Enterbrain, Celianna, Avadan


Sprites - Enterbrain, Famitsu, Moénette,Holder, Edits + human battlers: Me


Etc - Usui, Me


-Music:


Aaron, Sinakhai, Joel Steudler, Gyrowolf, Shane, Jonestone, Ryana, Genf, Soundray, Scythuz,


-Scripts:


Victor, Mr.Bubble, Seer UK


If you find a ressource, but not its author, please tell me. I'll add it to the final game.


Progression so far:


- Story: 100%


- Eventing: ~99%


- Gameplay: ~99%


- Graphics: 100%


Complete Demo!(NEW 18th December!)


With RTP:


http://www.mediafire.com/file/ry0k8dnc4k8u8dr/Eternia%28Ace%29.exe


Without RTP:


http://www.mediafire.com/file/2qr9h1e7ql4elzq/Eternia%28Ace%29RTPless.exe
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Randommerade

All those years, outside looking in...
Veteran
Joined
Mar 30, 2013
Messages
561
Reaction score
81
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
I like the plot a whole lot (Hey, I can make a rhyme anytime!), and I hope you make an English translation of the game. I couldn`t read another language to save my life ('Murican coming through...) /follows topic
 

BlackRoseMii

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
679
Reaction score
620
First Language
German
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
Decided to redo everything into VX Ace. Took some time to post the edits because I tried my best to make it look good. Added new screenshots and actor faces.
 

BlackRoseMii

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
679
Reaction score
620
First Language
German
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
Made new facesets.

Frequent updates will be shown in my tumblr.
 

Shelby

Diva
Veteran
Joined
Sep 3, 2012
Messages
905
Reaction score
123
First Language
German
Primarily Uses
Made new facesets.

Frequent updates will be shown in my tumblr.
So you fixed the white outline around the facesets? And that download file size is EPIC! A no go for sure, I think that actually takes the record for biggest rpg maker filesize I have ever seen.

Are you really using all those music files ingame?
 
Last edited by a moderator:

BlackRoseMii

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
679
Reaction score
620
First Language
German
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
Probably not, but I made the demo in a rush, so many things were left undone. And instead of just erasing the white outline, I made completely new faces XD Although, they're old by now ^^°

And because of the file size: It's not just the game that's always this big. It's my music, videos, basically everything. And I don't know why.
 

Dark_Metamorphosis

What a horrible night to have a curse.
Veteran
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
2,194
Reaction score
382
First Language
Swedish
Primarily Uses
So you fixed the white outline around the facesets? And that download file size is EPIC! A no go for sure, I think that actually takes the record for biggest rpg maker filesize I have ever seen.


Are you really using all those music files ingame?


You think 459MB is a great filesize for a game? I have always wondered why It's a sin for an RPG maker game to be HUGE (459MB in this time and era is not huge so I can't see the issue Oo) I mean there are ordinary games out there that exceeds 30-40 gigs and no one complains. Sure, I understand that It's a bit different for a RPG-Maker game but I can't understand all the fuss about games that's less than 1gig in size, I dont have the fastest internet in the world, actually far from it and I download that file in around 6 minutes.


I'm just bringing it out there cause I have never understood why it's such a sin.


As to the developer, I'm on a review spree at the moment so I'll make sure to put it up here when I have played through the demo  :)


Here's my review for Eternia - The gate to paradise:


Eternia


-The gate to paradise-


 


Today I take a look at Eternia - The gate to paradise made by developer: BlackRoseMii, an adventure/fantasy game set in a world (which name I frankly don't know) that's holding an ancient legend known as the paradise.


The game revolves around a young fisherman named Vincent, and the game starts off with him being fired from his job, due to the low income of fresh fish. As the younger person of the crew, his boss thinks that he will have an easier time to find a new one. So with nothing but his last salary, and the clothes on his body Vincent decides to leave the town to travel the world. But the reason for him leaving is the discovery of an old journal belonging to his old grandfather. The journal holds the tale of an forgotten legend, known as the paradise. And the secret to enter its gates.


 


 


Story: 2/5


 


So the story of the game sounded pretty exciting to me going in, an ancient legend long forgotten that holds the secrets to 'Eden' (A kind of heaven) and the gate leading there known as Eternia. Anyone that wants to enter the realm of Eden, has to prove themselves to the ten guardians and earn their trust. When individuals entered Eden  but never came back, people started to fear the unknown and made it forbidden to carry the legend on. 


I think the story as read out like this is exciting enough, but the presentation and the start of Vincent's journey doesn't make much sense to me. The game tells me that he has no other choice than to blindly leave his hometown in search for this legend told by his family. I can't see what motives or motivations he has in order to do such a thing? Is it because of his grandfather, which we know nothing about?, Because he lost his job and is bored?, Is he tired of the world and just wants to go on an adventure?  To me, he has a lot of other choises in order to get back on track, what reason does he have to follow an old journal instead of just going on with his ordinary life?


The premise of the story is very solid, and intruiging just like I said but the presentation of it is lacking on the grand scale, and it holds the game back a lot. 


 


 


Gameplay: 2/5


 


As in gameplay the game lacks a bit off that too. The game throws you out in a village with no particular reason on what the next step would be. The point of interests are pretty non-existant as well and I totally facepalmed when I finally realized that I needed to interract with a BOOKCASE with no hint on the importance of it at all, in order to progress further with the story. But there are some bright things in here too, the cooking system seems quite enjoyable and I like the fact that you need to use the kitchen in order to craft, rather than some portable stove or something. More than that it's not much that really catched my interest, nothing is interractable and the villagers hold no viable information or anything interesting at all, more than one or two of them who game me an item. 


Onto the battles, it lacks some here too. I really enjoy the sideview battles, and the sprites are really nice and functional. When I entered my first battle I realized that I had no skills whatsoever more than attack, so every battle was spamming the attack button over and over. Not really that interesting. I thought it would be better after some levels, but nope nothing. Got my second character, nope nothing new again. 


A battle system needs to have some sort of character development, even at the early stages or people will get bored in a flash. If there's no point to the battles you could just skip the battles all together. It wasn't all that bad though, and it can certainly be improved. As a plus I didn't find too many bugs or errors.


 


 


Characters: 3/5


 


I can't say that I found the characters themselves very interesting, they were a bit shallow but what really caught my interest was the interraction between them. Especially between Vincent and Leah, and how they communicate even if Leah can't speak. Vincent seems like a really cool guy, and I rooted for him when he stood up to those mean villagers! You tell em' Vincent!


Since I didn't play that much of the demo, I can't really say much about the characters as well. I didn't find much to comment on, and maybe they will develop over time. I do think that they need some more spice to their personalities though, even in the early stages of the game. But since I found the events, and the interractions between them quite enjoyable I decided to put a bit more empathis on that. It's totally flexible around that's all I'm saying.


I find the mute part very interesting as well, and It's something I'm planning for my own project as well, I just hope I can work something out that works as good as you did.


 


 


Mapping/Aesthetics: 2/5


 


The maps of the game, looks a bit bland for my taste. Not much to look at, and the enviorement are a bit stale (especially in the village), I have to say that the mapping in the forsest is a ton better though, those maps looks nice. But what droped it all for me is the functionality of the maps, there are hidden map transfers everywhere and there's not really any indication that it is a transfer. Especially when you have to press the action button in order to transfer in the first place. I spent a lot of time just guessing where the exits were, and stuff like this needs to be sensible or it will cause a lot of frustration to the players. This was the main reason, along with the constant bland battles, that I didn't have the energy to finish the entire demo even though I wanted to.


 


 


Music and sound: 3/5


 


Music and sound is pretty lovely, there are some tunes in there that sparks emotions, and feels for sure. They also work really well with your events and they fit together with the overall game. I have to say though that you need to work on some pauses between the switch of tracks, having the village tune playing a brief millisecond after a big plot event just breaks immersion with a bang. Overall I think the music and the sounds work well. 


 


 


Summary:


 


Eternia - The gates to paradise is a game with more flaws than good parts, mainly because it feels very unpolished and not so thought through. I'm not sure if the game is in its early stages, but the game lacks pretty much in most areas, but there is room for improvements for sure. Maybe I have been a bit too harsh, but it saddens me when I see a plot that could work really well, and sound very exciting and then my expectations gets shattered a bit. The game is quite enjoyable even with all these flaws, and with some work I believe it could become a really enjoyable game.   


 


 


 


Final Verdict:


2/5


 


 


 


Thought I could add some bugs that I found, and some random thougts too:

  • Try have a longer wait from intro scene to Vincent waking up, It breaks the scene a bit.

     

  • I was a bit amazed that a bookcase was the thing ot interract with in order to progress with the story.


     

  • The instant change in the BGM's breaks the immersion A LOT! I would try and maybe have some form of wait time or a fade out.


     

  • The character is standing in a weird position in the battle scene, try change positioning of the battlers, or change the resoloution on the battleback to fit better with the battle screen.


     

  • If you enter the building south of the forest, the conversation there is built around having more than one party member even though I have Vincent alone. (When you borrow a ship from the guy). It's the same thing when I enter the elfen woods, and meet the old man. Try put up a switch here so the player cant do this before finishing the quest for the guy in the church. Leahs sprite is not visible during a long period of time when talking to the old guy in the forest as well.


     

  • When returining to the church after recieving the herbs, Leah goes crazy and walks over the entire map, through the altar and through the wall.


     

  • It seems a bit weird that Leah (using archery) moves up to the enemy and slap them with her bow? You should use your battle system to impement a shoot effect (Not sure which script you are using? Guess It's Victor's).



  •  
 
Last edited by a moderator:

BlackRoseMii

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
679
Reaction score
620
First Language
German
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
Thank you so much for your review. This is actually the first one that gives me critic that helps me correct things XD I'll try to work on the things you mentioned (Though I don't think I could make the battle screen better than it is now ^^°) Anyways, thank you again and I'll try my best to make my game better^^

(And yes, it is in its early stages. Very early...I thought about removing the link to the demo anyway ^^°)
 

Dark_Metamorphosis

What a horrible night to have a curse.
Veteran
Joined
Nov 23, 2012
Messages
2,194
Reaction score
382
First Language
Swedish
Primarily Uses
Thank you so much for your review. This is actually the first one that gives me critic that helps me correct things XD I'll try to work on the things you mentioned (Though I don't think I could make the battle screen better than it is now ^^°) Anyways, thank you again and I'll try my best to make my game better^^

(And yes, it is in its early stages. Very early...I thought about removing the link to the demo anyway ^^°)
You are very welcome, glad you find it somewhat useful :)

As I said in the review there's tons of potential there and I quite enjoyed it even with all the flaws I had opinions on. So I think that you have a very solid base going for you, especially since It's in eary stages. There's tons of potential for improvement in there, and I think you will work it out just fine.

Will keep an eye on this, and wishes you best of luck with your project!

If the demo is in It's early stages, I say It's just nice to keep it up so you can get some valuable feedback. It can help you a lot in your decisions for your game.

Take care!
 

BlackRoseMii

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
679
Reaction score
620
First Language
German
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
I know it's been a while since I updated this thread, but I've been working on this game the whole time. The first demo was a total disaster, but I think the newest one will definitely be better. I hope ^^°


Anyway, the real demo will be uploaded on the 17th of July. I will update this and the first post then. Until then, have a few new screenshots of more than just maps ^^










EDIT: The demo is now finished!


http://www.mediafire.com/download/n59d99ze8d9ty9p/Eternia%28Ace%29.exe
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Kyuukon

主人公
Veteran
Joined
Aug 22, 2013
Messages
2,217
Reaction score
1,077
First Language
Spanish
Primarily Uses
RMMV
Downloading the new DEMO. Imma edit this post with a proper review as soon as I finish it :D (I hope you don't mind lol).


FFUUU! I'm having troubles with the download. My internet doesn't work well with Mediafire T.T is that version with RTP included?
 
Last edited by a moderator:

BlackRoseMii

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
679
Reaction score
620
First Language
German
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
Yes, it is. Would you like me to upload one without?
 

Kyuukon

主人公
Veteran
Joined
Aug 22, 2013
Messages
2,217
Reaction score
1,077
First Language
Spanish
Primarily Uses
RMMV
Yes, it is. Would you like me to upload one without?
It'd be easier for me xD For some reason, my download gets interrupted half-way or so :( 550MB is a lot :o
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Kyuukon

主人公
Veteran
Joined
Aug 22, 2013
Messages
2,217
Reaction score
1,077
First Language
Spanish
Primarily Uses
RMMV
Thoughts so far:


:D Like:

  1.  The Intro of the game was very well done. The custom drawn CG were beautiful. Also the narrative was hooking right away.
  2. The characters and the world surrounding them was interesting. It really felt alive. NPCs always had some curious/funny stuff to say. Some of them changed the dialog depending on what was happening around them or your party. Really nice, nice.
  3. Complementing to the point above: the game was bigger than I anticipated it to be. Lots of work went into it, clearly. It's not easy to tackle such big RPG projects for only one person. But you persevered, so good job! it says a lot about you lol.
  4. Do I smell harem? xD Romance options would be nice :3



>_> Neutral:

  1. While I appreciate custom battle sprites. I didn't feel they fit well with the RTP and battlebacks. I think first-person with each character portrait would work better D:
  2. I was often in need for gold (which I consider a good thing because gold should be an important asset in anyone's journey). But I found a bit awkward my "paycheck" being 50G and after going to the forest and killing a few bees I got the same amount lol. Why do people even have a job in Eternia xD? Better become a hunter :D
  3. Mapping could use some work in the layout. They were not entirely bad but some maps were difficult to walk around. A map has to be pretty and functional. I recommend not using the corners of the maps for placing buildings or stuff (better surround the city with trees or cliffs rather than having open edges). You could abuse clutter a bit more (buildings were too far apart from each other, I often got lost).
  4. I found it funny when Vincent was like "Imma teach you how to write!" and when they arrive home "Sorry, I don't have time" LOL! Maybe it'd have worked better if he spent an afternoon teaching Leah and then go like "Sorry, I'd love to keep teaching you but I can't" and then Leah "Then teach me on your way!" or something like that xD. But that's something personal.



>:( Dislike:

  1. Random encounters D: I prefer seeing the monsters in the map :3
  2. RTP. I hate the RTP grass particularly xD!
  3. Combat could use some work. Enemies did have "weakened" sprites but they didn't have popup damage numbers or HP bars. Also, Vincent and Leah had skills that didn't cost mana so I ask: What's the point of "Attack" command when I can just spam skills without penalty :p ?
  4. Did I mention I hate the RTP grass?



Overall: The game has potential. It's cute :3 I want to keep playing it just for the characters in it. They were really interesting and funny (and cute!).


Sadly, my adventure came to an end when I got a game crashing error after I pulled the lever in the lava level:





Lemme know when you fix it :p


Btw, BlackRoseMii. I have said it before but I'll say it again after savoring more of your stuff: you got talent as a writer and artist :) You are a content creator at heart :3 Keep at it!


If I were asked a word of advice, I'd suggest to focus on your strong areas and work on developing them further. A game requires many skills to compliment with each other and so it makes difficult to pull something of this scope (especially alone) while retaining the quality in all its aspects (for example, a better mapping and system could make Eternia stand out a lot more). One solution would be gathering a team and polish the weak areas. From experience, I know this is not an easy thing to pull off lol.


Personally, I'd love to play a visual novel written by you in the future :3
 
Last edited by a moderator:

BlackRoseMii

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
679
Reaction score
620
First Language
German
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
Thanks for the feedback^^ It's helping a lot. About the error: It happens once in a while, it should work once you exit the game and restart it. I've seen the same error in other games, too.


Once this game is finished, I will start making games more seriously and gather a team for them. This one is basically a game for me to see how far I can come alone. My goal is to get better with each game I make, but I need a first game to know what I can do now.


Also, I do have a visual novel I'm working on. It's just a dating sim, but I put quite some effort in it. ^^ The link should be in my signature.
 

Kyuukon

主人公
Veteran
Joined
Aug 22, 2013
Messages
2,217
Reaction score
1,077
First Language
Spanish
Primarily Uses
RMMV
About the error: It happens once in a while, it should work once you exit the game and restart it. I've seen the same error in other games, too.
Ooooh.. Weird xD I'll continue playing later tonight then :)

Once this game is finished, I will start making games more seriously and gather a team for them. This one is basically a game for me to see how far I can come alone. My goal is to get better with each game I make, but I need a first game to know what I can do now.
:rock-left:

Also, I do have a visual novel I'm working on. It's just a dating sim, but I put quite some effort in it. ^^ The link should be in my signature.
I just took a look at it. How could I miss it all this time?


Anyways, it looks pretty good and "more serious", indeed :p Too bad it's aimed for girls :( but I don't mind giving it a try when it's out :)
 
Last edited by a moderator:

BlackRoseMii

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 28, 2013
Messages
679
Reaction score
620
First Language
German
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
Okay, so the time has finally come where I can release this game. Though for now, I'll only release a beta. It's finished, but I need people who give me feedback before I can release it completely. That's why:
I'm looking for beta testers!


If you are interested, please reply here or send me a message. I prefer to keep this a closed beta for now, so that I can make sure to get enough feedback. So if you want to beta test the game, I'd like you to give me feedback on the game.
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Latest Threads

Latest Profile Posts

Well, It is 4:23 here! Time to sleep!
Good night y'all! <3 :rock-right:
Anybody else ready for MZ Ace?
For scrolling of large maps... Minimap, or very small zoom?
Sometimes you think you know people, then the next thing you know it's below freezing outside, and they're falling from the sky. And no two are exactly alike.

Forum statistics

Threads
99,579
Messages
966,898
Members
131,238
Latest member
Ordnael
Top