Failivrin's Freesources

Failivrin

Final Frontiersman
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Say you're a fenomenal picksel artist but you can’t even spell it correctly. Did you ever wish there was an RTP for writing? There are resources and discussions to help writers, but nothing like the simplicity of downloading characters, tilesets and music tracks.

Writing is my strong suit, and so long as I'm culling awesome sound and visual art from the RMMV community, I would like to contribute some of my personal talents.

This page is dedicated to distributing a stock of written resources. Cut and paste them into your games, modify when necessary. These lines are no substitute for your central plot but they can color the story's edges to produce a more engaging narrative.

These resources are intended as a gift for the RMMV community. Free to use in commercial and non-commercial games. Can only be used with licensed RPG Maker MV products.

Credit is not required for "Village Banter" or "Mapping It." For all other writings, including dialogue, prose, and poetry/prophecy, credit Failivrin and PM me the title of your game.

Requests will probably be turned down; I’m trying to keep it simple. Criticism will be ignored because hey, this stuff’s free! But positive feedback is always appreciated. I’m not aware of another showcase like this, so I would love to know if you find my resources useful.

UPDATES: Due to various life issues, I am on temporary hiatus starting March 2018. I appreciate all the support received. Hope to be back creating written resources soon!

~~~

Village Banter: Classical Fantasy
The heroes arrive in a new town. There are people walking the streets, working in the shops and standing guard at the castle. When you speak to them, what do they say? Use these lines to fill your towns with unique characters and humorous surprises!
Farmer: “A quest can bring you glory, but when you work with your hands, you gain self-respect.”

Destitute Farmer: “They say there’s something wrong with the world, that nature’s out of balance. Last year I lost my crops to drought, locusts, blight and frost together.”

Hunter: “There’s not much difference between an animal and a monster, except monsters don’t make good eating.”

Villager: “You’re a rugged bunch. Where exactly are you from?”

Villager: “How long have you been walking? Your shoes are practically worn through!”

Villager: “There’s so much trouble in today’s world. I don’t understand why anyone would want to leave their hometown.”

Villager: “I wanted to see the world once, but then I had two beautiful daughters and I realized, the whole world was right in front of me.”

Old Villager: “Oh! I’ve been waiting so long for a hero to save us! … I’m just kidding. Wipe that smug look off your face.”

Young Girl: “Want to see me cast a spell? Hullaba Wallaba Amfibia Winki! … My brother said it turns a frog into a prince. I guess I need a frog though.”

Young Girl: “The boys tried to scare me with a bug they caught. What’s so scary about bugs? I want to see monsters!”

Young Boy: “I picked some magic herbs. Wanna taste?”
> You chew the magic herbs… It’s just grass.

Young Boy: “Did you know a dragon can cook meat just by breathing on it? Good thing humans aren’t made of meat.”

Children playing: “Your sword doesn’t scare me. I’m a knight of the realm! Take that!”

Woman at the tavern: “You’re a hero, huh? I’ve heard that one before.”

Woman at the tavern: “Ugh! You smell like troll vomit. Don’t you ‘hero’ types ever bathe?”

Man at the tavern: “You think you’re some kind of big shot because you’ve got a sword? Heh! Rookie heroes.”

Bartender: “Care to try a ‘bloody hairy’? That’s right, tomato juice with a splash of monster venom! It’ll put hair on your chest.”

Old Innkeeper: “Zzzz… Hm? I must have dozed off. Would you like a room?”

Stingy Innkeeper: “I’ve got nice soft beds for all of you! Of course there’s an extra charge for pillows and sheets.”

Snooty Innkeeper: “Breakfast is served at dawn, but I’ll have to ask you to skip it. I don’t need a band of battle-scarred warriors scaring off my other guests.”

Herbalist/Potion Seller: “Choose your poison, choose your cure! I have everything an adventurer needs.”

Herbalist/Potion Seller: “Here’s that cure for snaggle-toothed bladder worm you ordered. What? That wasn’t you? My apologies.”

Herbalist/Potion Seller: “The real pros handpick their herbs from craggy mountain peaks where dragons roost. I knew a guy who even gathered moss from a sleeping dragon’s scales!”

Blacksmith: “They say the sword makes the soldier. But who makes the sword? The blacksmith is the true hero!”

Blacksmith/Weapons Merchant: “You’re not seriously going to fight monsters in that rusty tin? Come on, buy something new before you embarrass yourself.”

Blacksmith/Weapons Merchant: “When a filthy ogre picks you up by the pants, grinds you between his thumbs and opens his green-toothed grinning mouth to swallow you—don’t be caught without a trusty blade!”

Priest/Monk/Nun: “You seek the treasures of this world. We seek treasures of the spirit.”

Priest/Monk/Nun: “A man can conquer the world and still never conquer himself.”

Priest/Monk/Nun: “Swords cannot harm those devoted to the gods. They transcend above material things, and the sharpest blade breaks upon their skin.”

Lazy Guard: “Order in the ranks! Hey—where did everybody go?”

Stupid Guard: “We’re on the lookout for a band of hooligans masquerading as heroes of the realm. If you see any heroes, report them immediately!”

Serious Guard: “Stop right there! You can’t just walk around the castle freely. If you have business with the king, report to the throne room, then be on your way!”

Village Banter: Magical Realms
From enchanted groves of talking trees to the underground lairs of Lamias, your heroes may be thrust into weird cultures and fantastic societies. How will these magical citizens greet you? Are they friendly toward humans, or do they recall ancient rivalries?
Beastman: “I can’t figure it out. Are humans really hairless apes, or are you wingless fairies?”

Beastman: “I feel nauseated just watching you walk. How do humans balance without tails?”

Beastman: “*Sniff.* Your clothes smell like the smoke of a burning village, the rain of the mountains and the mud of the marshes. You must have traveled a long way to get here!”

Beastman: “I can tell you are warriors because your eyes and ears are alert. But you still do not have the reflexes of a beast.”

Fairy/Sprite: “I’ve never seen a human this close. Somehow I thought you’d be… taller.”

Fairy/Sprite: “Do humans really live in cities, separated from nature? It sounds so lonely.”

Fairy/Sprite: “You’ve got a lot of nerve talking to a fairy! Humans are always taking from the earth, but do you give anything back?”

Fairy/Sprite: “There’s a full moon tonight! I can feel it in my fizzelworts.”

Talking Tree: “Shhhhhh. The wind is trying to tell me something. Can you hear it? There is danger ahead.”

Talking Tree: “I don’t suppose you could do something about these pesky squirrels? They’re always tickling me, scurrying up and down my branches. I can barely sleep.”

Talking Tree: “I have lived many human lifetimes and seen heroes come and go. My advice to you is, be still. The earth can survive without you.”

Talking Tree: “Put those blades away if you expect to have a civilized conversation with a tree.”

Goblin/Orc: “You think me stupid because me don’t talk right. How come you no speak Goblinese?”

Goblin/Orc: “Urgk, shiny armor! I trade you a dozen skins for it. Deal?”

Goblin/Orc: “Humans can be strong or beautiful. Nobody thinks goblins beautiful, so goblins have to be strong.”

Goblin/Orc: “Humans think their brains are better than ours. Goblins agree. Human brains taste better!”

Lamia: “They say the first Lamia was cursed by a vengeful goddess who turned her into a snake. How can that be a curse? We are stronger and more beautiful than human women.”

Lamia: “Men fear us and worship us. What do you think? Am I a monster or a seductress?”

Lamia: “How do you get around on those spindly legs?”

Lamia: “Keep your eyes lowered. A lamia can paralyze you with her stare. I’m not going to do it, but the other women might not be so tolerant.”

Dragon: “I eat heroes like you for breakfast. The armor provides a satisfying crunch.”

Dragon: “I don’t suppose you’d care to give me some of that gold in your pocket? Humans are always wasting gold, trading it like money. Don’t you know gold is for sleeping and nesting?”

Dragon: “Do you like my wings? Perhaps you’d like to see my teeth instead?”

Dragon: “I don’t enjoy preying on helpless maidens. The knights who come to rescue them provide the real fun.”

Old Witch: “My eyes aren’t what they used to be. But all good witches have a ‘second sight.’ That’s how we know about things before they happen.”

Witch: “Don’t ask a witch to read your fortune. Believe me, you don’t want to know what’s coming.”

Witch: “You could get around the world much faster traveling by broom. Of course, a broom would buck like a bull if you didn’t handle it properly.”

Witch: “Think of your quest as a learning experience. Of course I could chant a spell that would transport you to the top chamber of the dark lord’s fortress with an invincible sword in your hands—but where would be the fun in that?”

Village Banter: Steampunk
Steampunk imagines what the world might have been like if the Age of Invention never ended, if machines still relied on steam power, and if pantsuits replaced ladies’ corsets. Take a stroll through Victorian London in this alternate reality, featuring general and iconic characters.
High Functioning Sociopath: “The people I know are mostly boring. Some are peculiar, but they are all dysfunctional.”

Husband (to Wife): “How was business today, darling?”

Wife (to Husband): “Business is simply splendid. Our new design should end hunger, disease and other trifles.”

Nanny (to Child): “Science is what separates us from savages. No civilized person still believes in magic.”

Child (to Nanny): “I don’t want to stop believing in magic! I wish there was someplace where children never grow up.”

Factory Owner: “Practicality and efficiency. That’s what makes our world turn, what makes the steam rise, and what makes Britannia rule the skies.”

Factory Manager: “When the bell rings, report to your stations. When it rings again, go home. Lunch break? Is that some kind of joke?”

Factory Worker: “It’s so hot. I can’t tell if I’m drenched with sweat or drenched with steam!”

Factory Worker: “They give us one holiday a year, and it’s not Christmas either!”

Bartender: “Steam is the lifeblood of London. But whiskey is still the blood of an Irishman.”

Woman at the Bar: “A lady of breeding must never drink and never swear. F@#% that!”

Man at the Bar: “Jobs are at the factory, the factory, the factory. They say art is useless, so all a writer can do is drink.”

Man of the Streets: “What you lookin’ at? I got no title, but I’m still a man.”

Woman of the Streets: “A man in possession of good fortune must be in want of a wife—or a good pickpocket.”

Policeman: “London fog was bad enough, but now there’s always steam in the air. Makes it hard to track a suspect.”

Policeman: “You there! We’re looking for a woman called Jill the Gripper. Chokes men to death before eating their insides. If you have any information, report to Scotland Yard.”

Detective: “The game’s a foot! See, the killer is switching shoes to disguise his footprints.”

Vampire Hunter: “Have you seen a man in a broad hat and dark glasses, cloaked in black from head to foot? Let’s just say he’s afraid of sunlight and allergic to garlic.”

Vampire in Disguise: “Soot, sweat and blood. I love the smells of the city.”

Clergyman: “Science is the tool by which God’s children will make Britain a paradise equal to Eden.”

Clergyman: “As we approach utopia, Satan sends his messengers to draw us back to the underworld. Be wary of crossing the streets of London after dark.”

Machinist: “Is it possible to build a device with a mathematical language? One that could answer any question, solve any equation, fit into any home?”

Machinist: “A few years ago, everyone was talking about electric power. I wonder how the world might be different if that fellow Tesla hadn’t been stuck by a motorcar.”

Scientist: “Once you leave the nursery, it’s time to contemplate serious matters. Like whether the earth is hollow, or how to send telegrams to Mars.”

Time Traveler: “Consciousness travels easily through time, jumping back and forth between memories. The trick is how to take the body with it.”

Station Master: “Will you be traveling by train or airship? You’ll find the train more comfortable, but the airship is much faster.”

Ticket Collector: “The lavatory is down the hall. Don’t forget to tell the porter how you like your tea.”

Train Conductor: “First trains, then airships and motorcars. Soon they’ll dream of flying to the moon!”

Airship Captain: “These days you can’t be too careful flying. The skies over London are filled with clouds of steam!”

Airship Crew: “We were planning an expedition to find the North Pole, but somebody on dog sled got there first.”

Airship Crew: “If a pigeon craps on your head, they say it’s good luck. I must be the luckiest man in the world.”

Airship Engineer: “No smoking! Our balloon is filled with hydrogen. Know what happens when hydrogen meets an open flame?”

Village Banter: Space Odyssey 2017
This adventure will carry you from a seedy spaceport to the decks of a first-class spaceship. Travel among the stars and meet all the kooky creatures in between! Inspired by classic Sci-fi stories of the space age.
Starship Crew: “You know how the ship lurches every time we jump to warp speed? Yeah, I get space-sick.”

Starship Crew: “Just think. One tiny rupture in the hull and we'd all be sucked into space!”

Starship Crew: “My first day on the job, they told me not to push the red button. I thought it was a joke. Half the buttons on this ship are red!”

Starship Crew: “I used to love that creme de menthe dessert they serve in the cafeteria. Then I realized it's just toothpaste.”

Starship Crew: “I was cleaning the porthole when I saw something blue and fuzzy. I thought it was an alien life form—but it was just a piece of lint stuck to my glasses.”

Officer: “Straighten up your uniform! Sloppy cadets are a disgrace to the human race!”

Engineer: “Space travel was described with the Theory of Relativity. Warp speed was later achieved with the Theory of Nonreality.”

Pilot: “Asteroid belt ahead! Hang on to your space blankets! This could be a bumpy ride.”

Gunner: “I spent twelve years at the Academy training to be a Weapons Officer. Let me tell you, kid, its the most boring job in the universe. Space is vast, infinite. There's nothing to shoot out here.”

Captain: “Most of the galaxy is still uncharted. A starship can take you where no man has gone before.”

Humanoid Alien: “Take me to your liederkranz... Wait, that's not right, is it? Humans have so many languages, it's impossible to learn them all.”

Slime Alien: “On my planet *glorp* the atmosphere is denser, and my body *goosh* is hard as a rock. I'm suffering *slosh* decompression sickness.”

Reptilian Alien: “My race is cold-blooded. That’s why our space suits contain heat packs.”

Tentacle Alien: “Free hugs! Share the love for all species.”

Robot: “IDENTIFY OR BE TERMINATED! Oh, it's only you. My apologies.”

Robot: "I am fluent in 42 million languages. Dolphin is my favorite. Icki ticki pippi yit!”

Robot: "I can calculate your IQ simply by measuring brainwaves. Scanning... analyzing... Your IQ is—oh dear, that is unfortunate! Well, just remember that IQ isn't everything.”

Robot: “Space travel is so draining. You wouldn’t happen to have a spare hydrogen cell, would you? Help a brobot out.”

Bartender: “If you want to be a bartender in this century, you’ve got to have infallible memory for Interstellar Drinking Laws. For example, you’ve got to know that a Fenusian Zillipux is limited to two drinks per orifice.”

Man at the Saloon: “My girlfriend left me for an Octopodian. I mean, what has he got that I ain’t got? Besides the whole eight limbs thing.”

Woman at the Saloon: “This pilot guy wouldn’t leave me alone, so I told him to get me some flowers from Venus. He didn’t know it rains hot acid there.”

Alien at the Saloon: “We are a collective consciousness. Please tell us, how does it feel to drink alone?”

Shifty Human: “I’m stuck at this stinking spaceport until my ambassador can deal with some criminal charges. I mean, how is it my fault if the houses on Uranus look like toilets?”

Shifty Alien: “Humans are rapers of the Earth—and every other planet! We’re going to build a wall around Earth, and you humans are going to pay for it!”

Innkeeper: “Regular rooms are available. We also have a special holiday discount on cryo-sleep tubes.”

Innkeeper: “Would you like to sign our guest book? I need your name, if applicable—plus the planet, asteroid or nebula where you became a conscious entity.”

Weapons Merchant: “It’s dangerous to fire a laser while your ship is at warp speed because the ship travels faster than the laser bolt.”

Weapons Merchant: “Kids used to play video games about shooting aliens. Of course that’s no longer politically correct in our century.”

Village Banter: Wild West
This one goes back in American history, to a time when the good, the bad and the ugly squared off on the frontier. I've attempted to blend Hollywood romance with historical reality.
Sheriff: "A sheriff in these parts is either on the hunt for outlaws or on the run from in-laws!"

Deputy: "You'd better not cause any trouble, stranger. I'm ready to earn my badge."

Cowboy: "A woman will keep you warm at night, but a horse understands you."

Cowboy: "Politicians will rob you in the city, and bandits will rob you on the range. I like it better here because I can shoot the bandits."

Cowboy: "If this is God's country, why are there so many blasted rattlesnakes?"

Train Conductor: "Every day the railroad gets longer and the frontier gets smaller. In a few years we'll all be eating fresh figs from California."

Railroad Worker: "There's a company reward for the fastest worker. Now get out of my way!"

Railroad Worker: "Schools have started giving degrees to engineers. Back in my day, 'engineer' wasn't even a word!"

Miner: "I can smell gold in these mines. Any day now, I'll have enough to buy my sweetheart a ring!"

Miner: "I remember when dollar bills were worth less than toilet paper. Gold is the only thing that never changes."

Doctor: "There's malaria in the melon patch, rattlesnakes under every rock and bandits in every canyon. That's why I double as both doctor and coroner."

Preacher: "Go west, young men! The Lord goes before you."

Innkeeper: "Are you traveling by horse? Rent a room, and I'll give you a discount for the stable."

General Store Manager: "What'll it be? I've got flour, eggs, clothes, bullets, lumber, you name it."

Bartender: "There's a woman goes around smashing saloons with a hatchet. Better drink up before her Temperance Society finds us!"

Man in Saloon: "Medicine takes days to arrive from the city. The doctor prescribed me whiskey."

Man in Saloon: "I'm a lawyer, but since I left the city I've had no work. People in this town take the law into their own hands!"

Woman in Saloon: "I've never met so many desperate men in my life, but not one of them can afford a ring!"

Woman in Saloon: "Want to know a secret? Half the cowboys and workers in this town are women in disguise."

Farmer: "City bosses say no jobs for Irishmen. I rode all the way from Boston to find a land I could claim."

Farmer's wife: "I've had five children, and only one survived. Thank the Lord for that! There's a widow in this town who lost her husband and children altogether."

Farmer's child: "Papa says we have to squat for five years 'cuz squatters get their own land. I tried it, but I can't squat that long!"

Widow in black: "I can't stand wearing black in this infernal heat, but whenever I take it off, folk gossip that I've betrayed my husband's memory."

Buffalo Soldier: "Out here, a man can be a man, so long as he stays out of other men's way."

Buffalo Soldier: "I couldn't find my family after the war. I figured the prairie was as good a place as any for a man to be alone."

Pony Express Rider: "Don't think you can treat me like a kid. I'll have you know I'm fourteen years old!"

Pony Express Rider: "No time to talk. I've still got a hundred miles to ride by tomorrow."

Native American: "Our chief spoke with the president in Washington. He promised this land would be ours forever. Already that promise has been broken."

Native American: "Your people talk about winning the West like you think this is a game."

Village Banter: Under Siege
The war has dragged on for many years, and now our heroes must defend a city under siege. What will give out first? The fortifications, the rations, or the spirits of soldiers and citizens?
Army Officer: “Don’t try to be a hero out there. Our mission is to hold out for reinforcements. It’s about survival, and I won’t tolerate wasted acts of bravery.”

Army Officer: “I’ve seen cities reduced to rubble, men and women driven by starvation to eat their dead. That won’t happen here, not on my watch.”

Engineer: “Soldiers in combat get all the credit, but those of us fortifying the walls are keeping this city alive.”

Engineer: “A city wall is like a dam, and an enemy horde is a flood. One single crack can make the whole dam crumble.”

Soldier: “They said the war would be over by winter. That was five years ago.”

Soldier: “My wife and kids are in the city, but I haven’t seen them for two weeks. I just hope they’re alright.”

Soldier: “I’ve never used a weapon, but I volunteered anyway. I can’t just stand by while everything I love is in danger.”

Soldier: “The officers don’t have time or resources to train recruits. Now, more than ever, soldiers have to depend on each other.”

Off-duty Soldier: “How about a game of cards to pass the time? I’ll bet five biscuits for a good knife.”

Off-duty Soldier: “The army rations a biscuit for breakfast and a bowl of gruel for lunch. I hear they’re getting better food in the breadlines.”

Medic: “Are you hurt? Then get out of my way! People are dying as we speak.”

Medic: “Zzzz…. Oh! I’m sorry, I must have fallen asleep on my feet. I’ve been working two days non-stop.”

Medic: “One of my patients can’t stop shaking. He’s not sick, or even cold. It must be trauma.”

Wounded: “I don’t want to lose my legs. Please tell the nurse I don’t want to lose my legs.”

Wounded: “I came in with a small gash, but they took so long to treat me that it’s become infected. I know I shouldn’t complain, they’re just doing their best.”

Wounded: “A guy from my regiment was lying on the bed next to me for three days. He was so disfigured, I didn’t recognize him.”

Wounded: “They’ve run out of medicine for pain. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live like this.”

Breadline Volunteer: “A biscuit for breakfast, a bowl of gruel for lunch while supplies last! First to come is first served.”

Breadline Volunteer: “Citizens! There is no victory without sacrifice! Take only your daily bread, and take it with pride. Your sacrifices feed our hungry soldiers!”

Waiting in Breadline: “These volunteers claim eating one meal a day has proven health benefits. Bah! Can you believe that?”

Waiting in Breadline: “Hey, get to the back of the line! Nobody takes my spot.”

Waiting in Breadline: “I don’t mind the food so much, but the water they provide has a bad odor.”

Waiting in Breadline: “I used to own a café, but the food ran out months ago. When this war is over, I’m going to bake the biggest plum pie this city has ever seen!”

Security Volunteer: “Curfew is in effect! No citizens allowed in the streets after nightfall!”

Refugee: “Someone told me this city’s wall is invincible. That’s what they said in the last three cities I fled.”

Veteran: “I volunteered for the army once. Now I’m disabled, but I still support our troops.”

Orphan Girl: “Our parents were killed in a firefight. My brother hasn’t said a word since it happened.”
Orphan Boy: “…”

Innkeeper: “I’m very sorry, we’re already packed with refugees. You’re allowed to sleep in the lobby, but that’s the best we can offer.”

Weapons Merchant: “I risked my life to smuggle these weapons! You’ll understand if the prices are higher than usual.”
Bystander: “That merchant claims he’s smuggling weapons into the city, but I know for a fact he’s robbing dead soldiers.”

Items Merchant: “The hospital is out of medicine, but I can get you some for the right price. Hey, don’t look at me like that! I'm just trying to survive, like everybody.”

Mapping It: Shopping Spree
Want to remember that place where you bought the Laser-Sword of Destiny, or drank the Steaming Brew of Enemies’ Tears? Why not give that shop a name? Picture this: Your hero walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Welcome to…”
Tavern
Ogre’s Tooth (Fantasy)
Broomsticks Brewery (Fantasy)
MacFlagon’s (Fantasy/Modern)
Thrusters (Sci-fi)
The Beer Quadrant (Sci-fi)

Inn
The Sleeping Drag-Inn (Fantasy)
Hollow Tree Inn (Fantasy)
Vagabond Hostel (Fantasy/Modern)
Lucky Stars Motel (Modern/Sci-fi)
Crash Landing (Sci-fi)

Cafe
The Suckling Pig (Fantasy)
Aunt Lauriel’s Authentic Elven Cuisine (Fantasy)
Gingerbread House (Fantasy/Modern)
Sugar Coma (Modern/Sci-fi)
Jetpack Johnny’s (Sci-fi)

Weapon Shop
Faithful Squire Armory (Fantasy)
Smith & Barber (Fantasy)
Lone Survivor Pawn Shop (Modern)
Nuclear Meltdown (Sci-fi)
Ray’s of Death (Sci-fi)

Item Shop
Black Cat Potions (Fantasy)
Wizard’s Way (Fantasy)
Herbalure (Fantasy/Modern)
Bargain Boosters (Modern/Sci-fi)
Chemporium (Modern/Sci-fi)

Dialogue: Warlord's Dungeon
The heroes have been captured, and are now chained in the fortress of a notorious warlord, the RTP General_F. But is she as heartless as she appears? By the end of this dialogue, the heroes must either hatch a plan of escape—or join General_F as mercenaries!
How to work this scene: ブルマ信 has created prison poses for RTP actors. Place them along north edge of map. Place a table in center. (Something that looks like it might be used for torture). General_F stands south of table, facing the heroes. With General_F’s back to the camera, you can manage actions like cutting steak with basic sound effects rather than behavior animations.
I have named the heroes by their personalities—Noble, Comic, and Cynical. The following RTP faces best match the dialogue:
Noble: Actor 1_7, Actor 1_8, or Actor 2_1
Comic: Actor 2_2, Actor 3_5, or Actor 3_6
Cynical: Actor 1_5, or Actor 2_5

Scene: Heroes chained to wall. GENERAL_F enters.

GEN: “Welcome to my dungeon. I hope you’re quite comfortable.”

NOB: “Torture us all you want. We’re not telling you anything!”

COM: “Hey, hey—hold on a minute! I’m sure this is a big misunderstanding. I’M TOO YOUNG TO BE TORTURED!!”

CYN: “Ugh. Pull it together.”

GEN: “But your friend is right! We do have a misunderstanding. I’m not here to torture anyone. You are my honored guests. I’ve brought something to commemorate this occasion.”

SERVANT enters, places dinner tray on table. SERVANT exits.

COM: “Is that… steeeeaak?”

GEN: “Filet mignon. Care for a bite?”

COM: “Yes please?”

GENERAL_F cuts a piece of steak, then delivers it to COMIC.

NOB: “Don’t eat it! It could be laced with truth serum!”

COM: *Nam nama nam *gulp

GEN: “Would anyone else like a taste?”

NOB/CYN: “…”

COM: “Can I have seconds?”

GEN: “Of course.”

COM: “This is the best dungeon ever!”

CYN: “Are you just going to let her feed you like a dog?”

NOB: “That steak doesn’t even belong to her. Everything in this fortress was stolen from some poor village. She’s a warlord!”

GENERAL_F feeds COMIC another bite of steak.

GEN: “Correct on two counts. This steak was stolen from a poor village. It was the last cow belonging to a widowed farmer. The governor stole it when the farmer couldn’t pay his taxes. I merely reclaimed the cow.”

NOB: “If you’re so righteous, why didn’t you return the cow to the farmer?”

GEN: “As you said, I’m a warlord. What good would it do if I returned the cow? The tax collector would steal it again. When you rob the rich to feed the poor, you perpetuate a cycle of oppression. Here’s a different plan: I rob the rich to feed my troops—so we can eliminate the rich.”

NOB: “You’re lying! Your troops prey on the poor. You burn homes and crops!”

GEN: “The homes of the poor are strongholds of the rich, and their fields are breadbaskets. I prey on those content with the status quo.”

NOB: “You talk like a hero, but how can we trust you? You’ve got us chained up!”

GEN: “A fact which I will be happy to remedy—when you are ready to join me.”

CYN: “You want to make us mercenaries?”

GEN: “I have seen you in battle, and I admire your skill. My liberation army could use a band of heroes such as yourselves.”

COM: “I don’t know, guys. Maybe we should think about it?”

GEN: “An excellent idea. Why don’t I leave you to talk it over?”

COM: “Wait! Um—could I have some more steak?”

GEN: “I’ll leave it on the table. All you have to do is ask the guards for your keys.”

GENERAL_F exits.

Dialogue: Disillusioned Soldier
Am I really fighting for the good guys? That’s one of the most important questions a soldier can ask. Cecil Harvey carried doubts. Fortunately he had Rosa to set him straight! Maybe your soldier protagonist needs someone to help navigate his emotions of doubt and guilt? I wrote this dialogue for a modern warfare story, but it can be adapted to fit almost any setting.
Scene: SOLDIER has just returned from his first tour of duty. It’s late. His LOVER comes out of the bedroom in her nightgown. SOLDIER is fully dressed, wide awake and lying on the couch.

LOVER: “Still awake?”

SOLDIER: “I’m fine. You should get some shut-eye.”

LOV: “You’ve been having nightmares. Is it about the war?”

SOL: “. . .”

LOV: “I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

SOL: “. . .”

LOV: “Well, goodnight then.”

LOVER turns to go

SOL: “Ahh, what the hell! It’s just a stupid dream.”

LOVER turns back, joins him by the couch

SOL: “I keep dreaming I’m in a raid, that my regiment is rounding up villagers. The sergeant says we’re looking for something, that this is a rebel stronghold, they’re hiding a cache of artillery. I’m pointing my gun at an old man, ordering him to move to the square—but he’s stupid, scared stiff or deaf, I don’t know. I kick him and push him into the square. The sergeant sees him, pulls the old man forward, puts a gun to his head and tells him to kneel. The sergeant tells the rebels, surrender the weapons or I will shoot this man. Nobody moves, nobody says anything. The sergeant is going to shoot, I can see it. That’s when I run forward. I knock the old man out of the way. The gun fires, and I know it hits me instead, because that’s when I wake up.”

LOV: “. . .”

SOL: “Pretty stupid, right?”

LOV: “Have you had this dream often?”

SOL (sighing): “Every night.”

LOV: “What if it’s a sign?”

SOL: “That I’m going crazy?”

LOV: “That you’re meant to change things. You’re not like the other soldiers, you see things differently. What if you’re meant to bring peace—?”

SOL: “Peace! What do you think I was fighting for?”

LOV: “I know. I know, but there are other ways besides fighting. Even in times like this, I have to believe that a simple act of compassion can change a person, and over time, it can change the world. I’m sure that if you were in a raid like that, you’d behave exactly as you did in your dream, saving that old man!”

SOL: “Well, you’re wrong about me. Dead wrong! It’s real, don’t you get it? I was in that raid. When my sergeant shot the old man I—I did nothing. We burned the whole village to the ground, and for what? We didn’t find any weapons. There were never any weapons. And now there’s nothing at all…”

SOLDIER starts crying; LOVER holds his hand

LOV: “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

Momentary silence while SOLDIER continues crying

LOV: “You’re a good person. That’s what this dream is trying to tell you. I believe you have the courage to do the right thing.”

Slow fade out

Poetry: Dragon Prophecy
I wrote this prophecy for a story that will never be finished. Hints in the verses were meant to correspond to events in my story, but prophecies are naturally vague. Maybe you can fit your own story to these lines?
He wakes from his sleep not at the dawn but at the darkest hour of night;
His eyes shall not see the stars, for they shall be covered;
Blood will fall from the sky instead of rain
And the living will be scattered far among the dead.

He shall lift his head and smell ash on the wind;
He shall growl and trample the earth,
And even the dead will fear him
When he awakens in the night.

When he rides, he does not ride alone;
When he roars the sky is filled with dragons!
Then the earth shall be burned in war
And the dragons shall punish their enemies.

The fire of the dragon shall never perish;
The eyes of the dragon shall open once more!

Poetry: Evil Rhyme
A bit of "satanic" verse for your horror game.
Feel the blood seep through your garment,
See the cracked and silent bell,
Hear the screams of those in torment—
Doomed to death in darkest hell.

Fathers all revoke your blessings,
Mothers all forsake your sons,
All the world devours children;
None is righteous—no, not one!
 
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Shinma

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What a great idea. Well done!
 

Failivrin

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Thanks everyone for your positive feedback! It's been a busy few weeks in the real world, but I've put together another section of "Village Banter" involving societies of magical creatures. Hope you enjoy!
Hint: @hiddenone has created excellent sprites for beastmen, lamias and orcs, among other things.
 

Failivrin

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Update--Added a third installment of “Village Banter.” This one is inspired by science fiction classics like Star Trek and Hitchhiker’s Guide. Hope you enjoy!
 

Ryzler

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This is pretty cool xD
 

Failivrin

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Failivrin's Freesources just received its first dialogue scene! Use it (with credit) in your story about a disillusioned soldier. The setting is modern warfare, but you can adapt to fit other genres. For fantasy, simply change the guns to swords and spears, the artillery cache to some powerful magic artifact...
 

Skunk

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This can go places for sure.
 

Rogue Milk

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Really neat idea.
If I my suggest a theme, it would be cool to have a orc/monsters banter.
 

Failivrin

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@Rogue Milk -- I'm not sure I follow. Are you suggesting situations in which the player's avatar is not human? That could be interesting, although the infinite possibilities of species and context would make it difficult to offer something for everyone.
Or are you looking for an expansion of the "Magical Realms" banter? That could happen, but it won't be for a little while. I think my next project will be a section based on specific RTP characters.
 
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Rogue Milk

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@Rogue Milk -- I'm not sure I follow. Are you suggesting situations in which the player's avatar is not human? That could be interesting, although the infinite possibilities of species and context would make it difficult to offer something for everyone.
Or are you looking for an expansion of the "Magical Realms" banter? That could happen, but it won't be for a little while. I think my next project will be a section based on specific RTP characters.
Yeah, I was thinking more like a expansion of the Magical Realms, but I got say I am really interested in this specific RTP characters idea of yours.
 

Nutty171

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These are pretty funny! xD
 

Failivrin

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I was thinking about the power of simple words and phrases… and I didn’t have much time on my hands! This month’s addition is a selection of catchy place names. Similar to “Village Banter,” credit is not required for “Mapping It.”
 

Failivrin

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Is it getting steamy in here, or is that just my new Steampunk resources? :D
 

Failivrin

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New dialogue scene! This one incorporates RTP characters. Adaptable to most stories, provides a great moral dilemma. Free to use with credit!
 

waz

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This is nice! It gives me different ideas on how to improve my works! Thanks!
 

Failivrin

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Sorry about the lack of updates this month! I have been very busy/sick. Here'a a consolation gift--my "undead" edit of the RTP knight captain. It's meant to look like he was raised during a siege, after several days rotting on the battlefield. Credit Kadokawa/Failivrin
Captain, undead.png
 

Failivrin

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I wanted to write a holiday special. Village Banter: Santa’s Workshop! But this game of thrones in the evening news has put me in a darker mood. The result? Village Banter: Under Siege. Usable in any genre. Whether fighting orcs, zombies, tanks or robots, the horrors of war are the same.
 

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