Goblin Noir: Cement Shoes are Highly Unfashionable- Full Release updated to V1.01

[valkill101]

I'm loving this game so far, will post a review when I'm done.
 
Edit: Alright, hope the Developers see this, cause I don't want to double post.
 
Opening scene was very good, didn't bog me down with too much exposition, I have to say the character design all in all were pretty nice and the overall style was pretty top notch. The typewriter effect was also a nice touch, though there were a few typos here and there such as with the cab driver.
The battle system well very well put together, I was actually anticipating every encounter just to see what clever dialog would pop up.

Spoiler

I especially liked the final battle dialog with the priest, very funny and engaging!

I only wished that there were more battle segments, it was THAT good.

Besides some typos there was also an instance where I was able to walk through the door and onto the ceiling at the bar, but besides that I found no other glitches and such.

Overall this was a fun play through and can't wait to see more from you in the future.

 

[dinkledaberry]

I played your game this morning. It was fantastic! Genuinely funny with a clever setting that plays off the fantasy and gangster settings we all know. Sheila is a great character that I'd love to see more of. Though she did seem ta lose her gangsta accent pretty quickly. The battles were a refreshing change of pace from the norm and a great way to show off humor and unique ideas. I loved the solution to some of them. Had me laughing for sure. I only have a few cons to list. You should probably lose a lot of the unneeded options from the menu. Inventory, skill, equipment and status are unnecessary in their current form, although inventory can just be downsized to only include the items you pick up. The skill option from your menu actually allows for a number of potentially game-breaking glitches since they seem to call the common events that are used in battle. So conversations and battler sprites will appear on the map. You can even get game-overs this way. Big no-no. That ending is also quite abrupt. It's pretty clear when you started running out of time. Hopefully you can improve on that and give this game the ending it deserves.

The last con are the glitches and typos that still exist in many places within the beta. Especially once the player gets to the "bookstore". But it's a beta so you know. Aside from the skill glitch I found:

Spoiler

-Gun Shell can be collected multiple times.

-A few tiles that can be walked on.

-In some battles pictures do not display properly, disappear or double up on themselves. (Happens pretty often with the godfather)

-Incorrect punctuation, spacing, spelling or general typos. (Like Sheila's double comma when talking to the police officer. And the lower-cased letter in the ending message)

-A few errors in code when talking to NPCs. Like the Patron at the "bookstore".

But all-in-all this is one of my favorite titles in the contest. You really nailed the story and humor and I hope to see a final version of the game soon!

 

[nhubi]

Well, if you guys REALLY want to give it a boost than I won't stop you  http://contest.rpgmakerweb.com/game/view/id/699#comment-1467617875

Drunken Elf, I'd suggest cross posting this game to a couple of other sites too, it'l give you a bit more exposure. RMN (rpgmaker.net) is a pretty good choice since it's linked to some of the prizes. Just make sure you include a link to the game, either uploaded to the site since it allows you to hold a file up to 400mb, or link to an existing download, if you don't you can't get reviews there since the system doesn't allow reviews without one.

 

[Drunken Elf Mage]

Drunken Elf, I'd suggest cross posting this game to a couple of other sites too, it'l give you a bit more exposure. RMN (rpgmaker.net) is a pretty good choice since it's linked to some of the prizes. Just make sure you include a link to the game, either uploaded to the site since it allows you to hold a file up to 400mb, or link to an existing download, if you don't you can't get reviews there since the system doesn't allow reviews without one.

Hmmm, I'm checking out RMN, but I have not idea which forum to post the game in. I don't want to just spam my game in random spots.  Are other people doing stuff like that? and if they are, where?

 

[RadiantCadenza]

 You should probably lose a lot of the unneeded options from the menu. Inventory, skill, equipment and status are unnecessary in their current form, although inventory can just be downsized to only include the items you pick up. The skill option from your menu actually allows for a number of potentially game-breaking glitches since they seem to call the common events that are used in battle. So conversations and battler sprites will appear on the map. You can even get game-overs this way. Big no-no. 

Did I forget to check the little box that makes skills only usable in battle? Whoooooooooooooops. 

Ehehe. My bad. 

As for the menus, I've been having a hard time finding good default menu replacements that I like, since most are geared towards adding MORE information and I'm trying to include less of it. I didn't really consider just literally cutting OUT the menus, but I may just do that. Heck, even with inventory, there's only 3-4 items in the game, really. And the status menu really only exists to show just how bad Sheila's stats would be in a "real" battle system. Drunken Elf is kinda proud of the joke that her "Fashion Sense" is a stupidly high stat compared to everything else, so I think Elf may be disappointed in me if I kill the whole status menu. I definitely need to fix that bio text though. ... Done! 

Sheila's accent is tricky, because we tried to give her a bit of one but we didn't want it to be too "thick" because you read her lines all the time and it might get tiring. It ended up floating in and out a bit too much as a result. That needs some tweaking.

Yeah, there's a lot of typos that just get worse further into the game. Proofreading time is key for this kinda thing and we just rushed it waaaay too much at the end. 

Also really shows in my map for the final area. I'm gonna re-do that, as well as add some more details to the bar. 

We had a lot of ideas for battles and things that we just didn't have time to do in a month. We seriously underestimated how much time these battles would take; it's a lot of writing, and a few of the gimmicks took some funky evening trickery with switches and variables. We were thinking of adding some of those back in now that we have time, but we're instead going to polish this game in it's current state, and then save those ideas for a potential sequel/follow up chapter. So you should hopefully expect to see more Shiela-based adventures, other playable characters, and other cool stuff. For now though, I just wanna fix this giant mess of typos. 

 

[nhubi]

Hmmm, I'm checking out RMN, but I have not idea which forum to post the game in. I don't want to just spam my game in random spots.  Are other people doing stuff like that? and if they are, where?

You don't submit to a forum. Every game gets it own game page where you can upload pictures, update blogs, media like videos, pretty much anything you want. For example this is the one for Little Briar Rose that went up a day or so ago. http://rpgmaker.net/games/6592/ You have to join the site and then you get the option to submit your game with all the content you want.

 

[nhubi]

As for the menus, I've been having a hard time finding good default menu replacements that I like, since most are geared towards adding MORE information and I'm trying to include less of it. I didn't really consider just literally cutting OUT the menus, but I may just do that. Heck, even with inventory, there's only 3-4 items in the game, really. And the status menu really only exists to show just how bad Sheila's stats would be in a "real" battle system. Drunken Elf is kinda proud of the joke that her "Fashion Sense" is a stupidly high stat compared to everything else, so I think Elf may be disappointed in me if I kill the whole status menu. I definitely need to fix that bio text though. ... Done! 

I'm pretty sure Yanfly's menu scripts allows you to remove those items you don't want and still keep a good visual. You may want to have a look.

 

[kartersaint]

-A few tiles that can be walked on.

It should be these.

Spoiler

I can pass that door. It needs a fix. 

Anyway, I beat the game. It seems the appearance of a final boss is abrupt. Eventually the god father appeared too earlier. But I judge this game as "Demo" of the great full-length game, so I won't argue about that. 

But I really enjoyed the game, this game has great density of its own storyline, the concept and build of the world are so awesome. But I want to see other race, only have seen Goblin, Elf, Ork. It would be nice if you put Dwarf, Troll, even Dragon (lol) into your game. It can be really creative and unique to see the concept of fantasy characters pervading your game. 

Seems you tone downed the lascivious of the game because to make more people play your game. It's okay. I don't want to see extreme Noir in your cartoon graphic with the interesting Goblin character. 

By the way, I think it's unnecessary to put RPG Genre in your game. I have no idea how to make your game (based only on conversation) as RPG, all characters that you faced are already beyond your level. Even I had a level up at the very final of the game. To make the player see how strong and cultured they are? Well, you need to consider it as more appropriate way. 

That's my views yet. I have many suggestions to enhance your game but I'll save my words. Why? Well... I need to save my energy.

However, seriously, you can make your game as "3D" Cartoon Rendering graphic game. RPG Maker can't reach your idea as your limitless. (No offence for the engine). 

You can save your idea about Goblin Noir, and you can polish and remake it as 3D after you learned something of engine but this is just my dream, to the point of the reality, it's your own choice to do. Because I know it costs a lot of time and money to do this. 

But I really want to say, your game is really promising. I just imagined your game has been remade as what I said and hearing the voice of characters (especially the protagonist) myself.

This is not a joke. You and your team need to consider this if you have a chance. I'll support your team as possible as I can.  

 

[RadiantCadenza]

@nhubi: I'm actually using several of Yanfly's scripts, but most of his menu-based ones have exactly the problem I'm referring to. Things like his item menu and status menu add many things we don't need for this type of game. Yes, I can take off extra pages, but in the case of the status menu, all I basically end up with is a more cramped  version of the default once I take of the extra pages, so it's just not worth it. Taking some previous advice, I've stripped down the inventory to something simpler and removed the equip menu entirely. Status is still there. 

@kartersaint:

Funny story about that dragon... 

There miiiiiiiiiiiight have been a dragon boss we were planning on including the game that we had to cut out to finish the game in a month. Possibly. 

Strictly speaking, the game is a RPG, Role Playing Game, in a pretty pure sense. You Play the Role of Sheila. Though we tend to associate the term more with games that use stats and numbers for strategic combat, regardless of the story-telling or role-playing element where the term originated from. That said, the world is very inspired by the idea of D&D updated to a more modern time, so we wanted to include some aspects of traditional RPGs to invoke that feeling.

Also, by the way, I'm gunning to have a fixed up build of this game on Thursday. Hopefully a 1.0 version with all the typos and bugs fixed. 

 

[Alkorri]

Hello there! Finished Goblin Noir and really enjoyed it. You've got a gem here with a unique setting, and best of all, I thought it was executed well. I finished my playthrough in 1 hr 20 min.

Some comments/issues:

Spoiler

I encountered no game crashing bugs.

I like the menu! Clean and unique.

The battles were really interesting. It must have been really complicated accounting for all the different choices.

I found the dialogue witty with Sheila being a highly likable character. Nearly every character has a life of their own, actually. I want to see more of that Doorman and the Officer!

The humour in this game was quite well done; the jokes were fast, fresh and furious, and rarely did they feel like they outlived their welcome.

The character art was a bit rough, Sheila in particular, but the portraits were very expressive! It's funny to see Sheila's cringing expression. I like the art for Laura best - she does look like a 'classy dame', as they might say.

There were two floor tiles I couldn't walk on for some strange reason. There's also a text issue here:

I find it funny Sheila has such a high Fashion Sense stat compared to her other stats.

In the bar when the Godfather speaks but hasn't been revealed yet, it looks strange to see Sheila's portrait there as if she were the one speaking the dialogue. Perhaps that portrait can be removed?

The climatic battle with the Culprit was very entertaining, having the player throw everything in their arsenal to beat him.

While I wished there could have been more to the ending, I thought you finished strong with a reminder to the audience of what Sheila is: a fashionista goblin. Bravo!

Unfortunately as other members have pointed out, I felt this game suffers from a number of typos and lack of punctuation. The text, while well written, distracted me from getting immersed in the story, which is pity because it's a really good story. You probably were making sure everything worked (quite understandable!), and didn't have time to proofread.

Hope you don't mind, but here are the typos found (suggested changes are in bold). 

Spoiler

Item Descriptions

When you check Sheila's status, the two stats should be spelled as Strength and Intelligence.

I notice you tend towards American spelling, so the Armours in Sheila's inventory should be spelled Armors 

Gun Shell - A shell from a large caliber gun.

Sheila's profile: A lackey for the Viper Gang. Fashionista and major shop (the text here is cut off; you probably meant to say shopaholic). A determined go-getter when money's involved.

Warehouse

Moe in warehouse - Doesn't look too bad. Only a bit of dirt.

Book Club

Sheila after the cab driver drops her off at the book store: I REAAAALLY hope the boss doesn't mind dropping this guy's debt when this whole thing is over...

Doorman: Welcome to the Book Club. (quotes are unnecessary). May you enjoy our selection of fine 'books.' If you roughhouse at Book Club, I punch you in stomach. Enjoy your stay.

Sheila: The dumpster is a bit too high for me to see into.

Sheila: Just a pile of trash. Nothing exciting.

Sheila to Doorman during fight: Alrighty, what's your favorite novel then?

Doorman: You eez soo tiny you look like child! It sounds so silly to hear you try flirt!

Sheila after trying to flirt: Why that no good... how does he not recognize me as the pinnacle of the female form that I am!

Sheila:I guess so... (I guess it pays to be funny every once in a while.. But, damn, that's a major blow to a girl's self esteem.)

Inside the Book Club

Bouncer: Whatever. As long as you aren't a part of any of our rival gangs, then we shouldn't have a problem.

Sheila: Well it's a good thing I'm not hahahah...

Bouncer: Shouldn't be, as long as you don't start anything. No guarantees though.

Patron: I only wanted to chat a little bit! I mean, maybe I invited her for a ride on my cuddle bug. Usually that gets the attention of the chicks...

Patron: Nothing better than a cold one after a long day of work at that sweat shop called a factory

Professor

Sheila to Professor: What's a guy like you doin' in a place like this?

Professor: I am far too exhausted to make my trek back to my apartment.

gun powder is usually spelled as gunpowder

Sheila: (If I get this kook to do his magic thingamagigy on the left over gun shell I put in my pocket at the warehouse, then I could get some good info.)

When the Professor introduces himself, the word Orwell should be Orewell.

Sheila during battle with Earth Mage: Why's a guy like you gotta charge so much for a simple old spell?

Professor: I, on the other hand, can see the benefit of both a well brewed flask of bourbon as well as the benefit of liqueur made crudely in the back of some orc's farm.

Dr Orewell (drunk): Well, after the first few sssssips, the burning in yur throat really shlows down.. and then it's not that bad!

Sheila: Well, I'll take your word for it. (period here) I'd want something... smaller if I was going to drink.

Sheila: What's so funny?

Sheila after Joking: It's so... Yellow..

Professor analyzing bullet: Hmmm, let's see here...

Dr Orewell: You know, today reminds me of that time...

Sheila while sassing: How else could I have told you about that schtuff?

Laura

Sheila: Stix is a perfectly normal goblin name.

Laura: Nah, he's off doing.... well something that I didn't want him to.

Sheila: Alrighty, what's the deal? I don't have any dough.

Laura: It doesn't bother me. I'm sure it won't bother you in a bittle while. (did you mean little while?)

Sheila after a drink: Whoa, it doesn't smell as strong as the other stuff, but it's still definitely strong.

Laura: If you take your time with it, you'll find a delicate hint of lemon.

Guns only invite trouble and give the police a reason to shoot you if they get skittish.

Sheila Chat: So, tell me about yourself, beautiful. Is it often that you hang out in place like this?

Sheila: No, I'm pretty sure you are doing fine. (At least she is a little bit classier than most of the people who've flirted with me. Pity no Y chromosome)

Sheila Chat: So are you sure it's women you like to.. date?

Sheila Joke: What's the most selfish animal in the ocean?

Sheila after gulping a drink: Why, what's the problem?

Laura: I guess when you are as adorably pocket sized as you are, you gotta pace yourself on the booze, sweetheart.

Sheila: Well it's actually kinda awkward for me to talk about it.. but I actually wanted to be a fashion designer for a little while...

Laura: It's about as fun as watching paint dry, and about as exciting too.

Sheila Sass: Maybe his boss wanted him to do something that he'd given a bonus for?

Laura after Sheila Intimidates: ...Dammit. I thought flirting with a cute girl at the bar would help get my mind off things.

Laura: I tried to talk him out of the job, but he said according to a source, no one would be there. The only way the gang would be hurt was in their wallets.

Laura: You know what's funny? This isn't actually the worst date that I've ever had.

Bartender

Bartender: The way I see it, if the doorman let you in, then you must be alright by his book. He's a bit weird, but he's usually a good judge of character.

Bartender: Knock you on your bum faster than a punch to the jar. (did you mean jaw?)

Bartender: Not really. Sometimes our boss sends them on errands without telling anyone...

Bartender: This is one of the few nights we have live music, though, (commas here) so sometimes that gets a few new folks showing up.

Priest

Priest - The evil drink drives those with weaker souls to commit acts of impurity and thus denying the entrance to our Goddess' divine paradise!

 

Priest: Young woman! .. It's not too late to find yourself a convent to spread the light of our Goddess to the unfortunate masses of River City, so that its spirit may rise up to the utopia it could truly be!

Sheila: Uh huh, I will get right on that. Just a quick question before I do. If you're so against booze, why are you hanging out in a speakeasy?

Priest: Where else am I to find and purify the souls of the lost, than the place where these souls are born!

Sheila: I don't think you're saving anyone tonight, pal.

Priest: One day these souls shall thank me for my intervention and all will accept the Goddess' light into their hearts!

Uncle Benny

Old-Looking Orc: Now, why in such a rush, goblin? ... Why do you want to leave after just a few hours?

Uncle Benny - The thought of my boys missing makes me...so ANGRY.

Temple

Sheila: I don't remember much of what happened after that. I probably blacked out from that stupidly strong 'potion'.

Sheila: Let me just take a little peek an-

Sheila: and the professor said that at least three orcs hit the warehouse... and if I was right about that broad's brother being a part of it...

Sheila: ..it's not here, but I did get a good gander at the bodies... The holes on this orc are tiny in comparison...

The Culprit: The caliber was so small, goblin, that I had to expel every bullet from the gun's chamber into these unworthy souls...

Priest: I will be biting off the serpent's head that has been slowly injecting its venom into our fair city.

Sheila: How do you plan to do that? .. By stealing our money?

Priest: I never laid a finger on you and your despicable blood money.

Sheila: The bullets you shot the orcs with... they were from the goblin pistols you took from the warehouse.. You're trying to pin these attacks on each of the gangs!

Priest: Like two serpents eating each other's tails,

Priest: Using the gifts my goddess has bestowed upon me, I shall dispose of you so that my plans shall flow unopposed.

Sheila: Sonofa***** it's another freaking magic user!

Sheila: Alright Sheila, this is it! Time to bring this maniac down!

Priest: My goddess has given me the power to enlighten the mind's eye..

Priest: Deep breaths, Homer. Let the power of her Holiness' love protect you...

Sheila, one of the choices: I definitely will not do that, my worthiness.

Sheila Intimidate: Ya showed up constantly at the Knuckle Duster's favorite speakeasy, talking smack the whole time!

Sheila: And now you gotta put the bodies of three dead orcs where somebody's gotta find them.

Sheila: There are too many unanswered questions!

Sheila: Besides I might get blood on my jacket. And it's brand new.

Great work, DrunkenElf and RadiantCadenza! I hope to see a series out of this 

 

[RadiantCadenza]

I'm just popping in to show THIS off. Whatdya guys think? 

Also, thanks for the proofreading help, Alkorri. It's pretty helpful. I'm working on the editing now, so I'm fixing those along with adding some more needed text breaks, adjusting portraits, etc. 

 

[Alkorri]

This is a nice poster! Is this from a webcomic?

 

[Matseb2611]

Love the poster. Fantastic work right there.

 

[Drunken Elf Mage]

This is a nice poster! Is this from a webcomic?

Not yet. The Goblin Noir world is actually something I've been working on for a webcomic for a long time, but wouldn't you know it, world building isn't easy. Not to mention that I'm a perfectionist with my writing. I've literally rewritten the first chapter of the comic at least five times and these were BIG chapters. But the most recent rewrite is my final draft so I'm finally getting started with the comic.

For the game posted here,the story, all the character designs, 70 percent of the speaking characters were made up in the Game Jam month. It does fit in my canon though.

 

[dinkledaberry]

I would totally read a Goblin Noir webcomic. And I'm a man that is particular about his webcomics.

 

[RadiantCadenza]

ONE. POINT. ZERO. BABY!

BAM!

https://mega.co.nz/#!9hpBTITD!OSpF0ZBiQaNxtkRgb6BZSxTHqbk5h-G5HX_CRYz0kTc

... I was up all night working on this. Literally. So I might be a little high strung. 

Plus I've got a convention booth to set up and run today, so I'll probably be a little loopy. 

Whee. 

 

[Steigrudar]

I'm having trouble grabbing the file from mega, how long do you usually have to wait for it to offer downloading the file?

nevermind got it to work.

I actually really enjoyed this, the combat system was fun, I'm impressed how you captured the era's feel pretty well.  I'm not good at doing the whole review thing though this is just a post to say I enjoyed this, and hope you do make a sequel.

 

[Adellie]

I tried your game cause I dig old time crime dramas. ;p

Liked:

* Strong characters and plenty of humor. I think out of the contest games i've played, I had the most fun reading dialogue from this game. The accents didn't obscure the writing.

* Stylized character art looks great.

* Superb atmosphere. The setting, dialogue, music and sfx work together to create the right environment. Noir is definitely unique among contest entries.

* "Battle" was loads of fun, even if there's only one path to victory. ^^;

Disliked:

* Visuals (ui, backdrops, sprites) could be tidied.

* I would prefer multiple messages to one long message that you can scroll up and down with.

Goblin Noir doesn't look amazing in screenshots, but i got so sucked in, i totally ignored the visual things I usually nitpick about.

Very entertaining! Well done.

 

[Hasvers]

I have to thank Merlandese for pointing me to this game (we're starting to have a sort of clique of people who make dialogue-based games).

I played the most recent version, and had so much fun I had to come here from RMN and register to applaud on this topic. I really recommend posting the game there as well, it will give you some more much-deserved exposure.

Most of the fights were impressively seamless - there was only one during which I felt the mechanical aspect a bit of the system (the Dame, perhaps because I was so reluctant to try Intimidation - the whole exchange was a bit heartbreaking, really). Other people have commented on the typos and such, but that really didn't trouble me much as the writing was awesomely fun. I loved the little pieces of worldbuilding that were inserted here and there with just the right amount of subtlety to avoid exposition infodumps- the bit about the Great War especially.

I am very glad that your webcomic is finally going to see the light of day, but honestly, I would care even more for other games in that style and setting. Best urban fantasy I've seen in a long, long while.

 

[Drunken Elf Mage]

I have to thank Merlandese for pointing me to this game (we're starting to have a sort of clique of people who make dialogue-based games).

I played the most recent version, and had so much fun I had to come here from RMN and register to applaud on this topic. I really recommend posting the game there as well, it will give you some more much-deserved exposure.

Most of the fights were impressively seamless - there was only one during which I felt the mechanical aspect a bit of the system (the Dame, perhaps because I was so reluctant to try Intimidation - the whole exchange was a bit heartbreaking, really). Other people have commented on the typos and such, but that really didn't trouble me much as the writing was awesomely fun. I loved the little pieces of worldbuilding that were inserted here and there with just the right amount of subtlety to avoid exposition infodumps- the bit about the Great War especially.

I am very glad that your webcomic is finally going to see the light of day, but honestly, I would care even more for other games in that style and setting. Best urban fantasy I've seen in a long, long while.

Thats one extremely flattering review! I am so happy you enjoyed the game so much.

So I finally decided to put the game on RMN, because you are the second person to give me this advice. I guess it couldn't hurt.  Its located here, http://rpgmaker.net/games/6635/