I am having trouble explaining the story in my game.

[Mr. Detective]

Hi guys,

I am having a headache trying to explain a certain element in my game's story. This is the basic plot:

In an alternate world, the year 20XX, with the advancement of science, humans were able to create another dimensional world called "Cyberspace". Everything essential to life is being networked. People can travel through Cyberspace with the use of a device. However, since the internet became so important to daily life, cyber crimes had also increased tremendously. Viruses also evolved to the point that they are able to attack humans while they travel in Cyberspace. To defend themselves, scientists created programs that can be installed into the device to combat viruses.

My plan for the story is this: Those programs are designed to fight viruses, but they can also be used by humans to fight each other as a form of sport. When humans exit Cyberspace, all their injuries will be automatically healed. But, an evil mad scientist or dictator (or whatever he is at this point), created these beings that are more advanced than viruses to attack humans. These beings can inflict real damage on humans, which means anyone who are attacked by them, when exit Cyberspace, their injuries won't disappear, unlike injuries sustained from normal viruses.

Here's a problem with this: It doesn't make any sense logically. If humans can exit Cyberspace unharmed, why would there be a need for healing items or programs? Why even bother attacking the viruses, if they, in the end, won't cause any real damage on humans? And those programs, if they can delete viruses, wouldn't they have even more severe affects on humans? I mean, what if someone questioned: if a person gets slashed by a virus, or someone with a battling program, what would happen? Would they bleed, get hurt, or feel like dying?

So, which part do you guys think I should remove or add? Should I just cut out the part where humans are automatically healed when they exit Cyberspace? But then, what happens if someone were to "die" in Cyberspace? Maybe I am overthinking, since in many RPG games, you can use flashy techniques and magics on other humans, and no one would ever bleed. I kept trying to add dialogues to explain this, and it gets too repetitive and I am sure people would slam it for bad storytelling. And that's true, since I don't even know how to explain it any better.

 

[CrypticCuddler]

I love where you are going with this idea dude, and I know just what you need to do to make things make sense. 

You said that in this future, "Everything essential to life is being networked. People can travel through Cyberspace with the use of a device."

So therefore, why would some people even choose to live in reality anymore? Why wouldn't people start creating colonies in this cyber realm on the net to live?

That would be the next step..that would be what was happening, but some, like that mad scientist, would be against people living

in the network and would create viruses to drive people out and stop the creation of colonies.

 

[Mr. Detective]

Why wouldn't people start creating colonies in this cyber realm on the net to live?

No, no, no. This is not the kind of Cyberspace I have in mind. It's kinda like the internet, but you can actually enter its world (if that makes any sense =.=). How do I put this? Think of it as Mega Man Battle Network, except you are the one in Cyberspace, not a Net Navi. The cyber world is for you to enter, travel around, chat with your friends, play games, do some work that requires the internet, ect. But you cannot live in there.

 

[CrypticCuddler]

Hmm I figured you were going for a megaman thing (cause your avatar hur hur) but hmm Idk..are you completely opposed to making things a bit more extreme than the mega-man universe though? 

Another idea though would be that the viruses could cause people to also get trapped, make their devices malfunction and thus there could even be near deaths that happen due to these viruses because it also effects outward technology. 

 

[Mr. Detective]

are you completely opposed to making things a bit more extreme than the mega-man universe though?

Well, sorta. I had many things planned out, and I am too far into the story to make any signifcant changes to the core story.

Another idea though would be that the viruses could cause people to also get trapped, make their devices malfunction and thus there could even be near deaths that happen due to these viruses because it also effects outward technology.

I thought of something like this before, but not sure how to put it in. Furthermore, the device is rather small, so it won't be able to withstand a virus' attacks for long (let alone something way way stronger, like those beings or battle programs), if it happens to get damaged. It would also make the cyber world a lot more dangerous than it is supposed to be.

 

[CrypticCuddler]

I think it's an internal thing then. Have whatever network path that connects the device user to their device and the web blocked off temporarily,as part of the function of the virus.

The scientist after all intends to scare people more than do harm (I would assume) but after rereading what you said, you kinda just walked yourself in a circle.

You said the viruses created by the scientist/dictator would pose a real threat and harm people to the point that when they leave Cyberspace,

this would hurt them.

But before this scientist appeared, you make it apparent cypercrime was becoming rampant a time before this, but people were not harmed before.

I think you should alter that. I think people beforehand had figured out how to create viruses or hacks strong enough to hurt people and break into precious data, it just did not happen as often. And before it became too bad, the government invested into making programs to defend from hackers and their viruses.

That is why the programs would be there, damage HAD been done before.

That seems more plausible.

 

[Mr. Detective]

Well, when I mentioned cyber crimes, I meant viruses would attack humans and rob their money, but probably not enough to cause significant harm for them. That, and stealing credit cards, hacking passwords, similar to internet crimes nowadays.

But based on what you said, wouldn't it be simpler to just remove the part where humans are healed when they return to the real world? And just add that those programs were designed to delete viruses, but humans, as real and physical beings, won't actually be affected by them.

I don't know... Maybe I am missing something else you said?

 

[CrypticCuddler]

EDIT: Sorry if I wasn't much help, pretty worn out, but I hope atleast talking it out helped give you more ideas. I gotta hit the hay 

for now, goodluck to you on your project!

Well, now thinking more, why would there be a need for "healing" people anyway if there was never a threat in the first place, physically? lol

I think you should scratch that part out, yes.

And going back to my theory of why programs were created, you didn't miss anything. =w=

 

[Mr. Detective]

Well, it's good to hear from someone.

But yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. So, in conclusion, I should:

1. Remove the part about humans automatically recover from viruses' attacks when they return to the real world.

2. Add that humans aren't affected by battling programs, since they were mainly designed to delete viruses.

There are just two more minor things:

1. Since humans aren't actually affected by programs, how would they react to being attacked during a sport battle?

2. Those programs are still able to damage the beings that were created by the main villain, even though they are much stronger than viruses. Would this still be convincing?

 

[Mike]

How about make the evil scientist to be a obstinate, conceited idealist scientist that wants to build his ideal world, and the first step of turning his ideal world into reality is by conquering the human mind. And that injury from cyberspace is actually the first step of conquering the human. derp derp.

1. Since humans aren't actually affected by programs, how would they react to being attacked during a sport battle?

2. Those programs are still able to damage the beings that were created by the main villain, even though they are much stronger than viruses. Would this still be convincing?

1. They would feel numb and probably frustrated as if they are cripple or something, that's all. It's like playing game and your character got injured. First comer would be scared of being attacked, but the veteran wouldn't pay much heed into that.  .-.

2. The scientist found that the quality of his "beings" are good enough, and upgrading it would take more time, which would be inefficient, so he seeks for quantity.

Hope that helps.

 

[Mr. Detective]

How about make the evil scientist to be a obstinate, conceited idealist scientist that wants to build his ideal world, and the first step of turning his ideal world into reality is by conquering the human mind. And that injury from cyberspace is actually the first step of conquering the human. derp derp.

Hm. I have something else slightly similar in mind. But that wouldn't change the core story much, I guess?

1. They would feel numb and probably frustrated as if they are cripple or something, that's all. It's like playing game and your character got injured. First comer would be scared of being attacked, but the veteran wouldn't pay much heed into that.  .-.

2. The scientist found that the quality of his "beings" are good enough, and upgrading it would take more time, which would be inefficient, so he seeks for quantity.

Hope that helps.

OK. I guess that could do the job. So we can agree to what I said above, right?

1. Remove the part about humans automatically recover from viruses' attacks when they return to the real world.

2. Add that humans aren't affected by battling programs, since they were mainly designed to delete viruses.

If this is good enough, and no one else have other ideas, then I am going to go ahead and make those changes. Thank you guys for your feedback!

 

[Mike]

The feedback sample that you're using is relatively small, but hey, debugging comes after building (fixing comes after creation, if you don't create, there's no need for fix).

 

[Lulladie]

Honestly, just start going with whatever you have planned-- in the process of this, you will get new ideas that wind up better for the shaky things.  If you're too afraid of investing time into it, simply write out summary chunks of your game's flow.  This helps  me a lot to figure out my current ideas, what things are weak and should be changed or don't fit well, what things are strong and should be focused on.  

 

[Mr. Detective]

Honestly, just start going with whatever you have planned-- in the process of this, you will get new ideas that wind up better for the shaky things.  If you're too afraid of investing time into it, simply write out summary chunks of your game's flow.  This helps  me a lot to figure out my current ideas, what things are weak and should be changed or don't fit well, what things are strong and should be focused on.  

I did. Then I realized the flaws and inconsistences of the story, so I have to go back and change a few things. New ideas are pointless if they just don't add up.

 

[Lulladie]

You can try a branch-graph, to visually see what connects to where.  They had us use that in a game design portion of my design class when I was in college.