I'm 22 and still live with parents

Discussion in 'General Lounge' started by Nemo, Jun 29, 2016.

  1. TheOriginalFive

    TheOriginalFive Veteran Veteran

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    I'm 24 and still a layabout at home. Although my mom sometimes goes off at me about not finding a job outside the house, we both realize that it's not very practical for me to move away and work in a big city.


    So I have to make myself useful in terms of doing housework if I'm going to lay about. I've also learned to put away my more alternative appearance for the old lady's sake.
     
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  2. Archeia

    Archeia Level 99 Demi-fiend Staff Member Developer

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    Assuming that you're not freeloading (Aka not helping with household chores and/or paying bills) it should be totally fine. I don't understand the notion of having to be ashamed to live with parents to be honest. It's better than sleeping in a basement and eating a can of pork and beans.
     
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  3. Pern

    Pern Hello Veteran

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    I moved out when I was 18 just before college. But let me tell you I was blessed with the situation. My sister was deployed to Iraq and she left me to house sit. I paid only to cover my costs of water, food, electricity while she took care of the mortgage. I only worked part time with school full time, I couldn't have afforded anything else. And living at home wasn't an option, since my folks lived an hour plus away from the city/college. Gas would have killed me trying to work and school.


    She came home safe and I continued my meager rent until I met my boyfriend and eventually moved in with him. He made enough to cover his own home, I still worked to help and now we're married and moved to a much better place. Overall I've been very fortunate. But given the choice, I wouldn't have said no to living at home until I was older, I'm only 26 now. They said as long as I kept my keep I was welcome. It just wouldn't have worked out with where my parents lived at the time.


    I don't know how anyone does it. Paying for everything at 18, work, college. The world is thrown at you and you're expect to plan your whole life out when you're still a teenager.
     
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  4. AwesomeCool

    AwesomeCool Bratty and spoiled little sister Veteran

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    @Archeia - probably a leftover mentality when the world was better economically (until everyone overspent and didn't save like what happens everytime a big economic boom happens for a culture of course).  


    Back then it would've been strange to see someone with their parents (they would be more than financially well off to leave with minimal effort).


    Nowadays it is either move back with parents or house up with a couple friends.
     
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  5. gRaViJa

    gRaViJa Veteran Veteran

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    I was 25 when I moved out of home, 27 now. At 22 it's nothing to worry about. In the current economic and social situation you should focus on finding a good job/finish your degree and then save up some money fist. If you got all that covered before 30, you did a good job imo.
     
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  6. Perr_

    Perr_ Veteran Veteran

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    Oh you are a South Korean, too :)


    I'm 21 years old and living with my parents. However, I don't think it's shameful that I'm living with my family. Even other people don't think it is shameful. So cheer up! I think you have been discouraged because you think you have not proceed anything you want. So if you keep go with what you do with faith, your shameness would be gone!
     
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  7. Euphony

    Euphony Veteran Veteran

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    I'm pretty sure I heard about a recent study that said more people than ever are staying at home well into their 20s. I think it's just a sign of the times. Jobs are hard to find, even with college degrees, and minimum wage won't cover the cost of living unless you have a roommate or partner to help you (at least here in the US, dunno about other countries).


    I'm in my 20s and still live at home because I have medical conditions that keep me from holding a job. I've learned not to feel ashamed of it because I give my parents some rent, help out around the house, and do freelance pixel work to earn extra money when I can. As long as you're trying, don't feel ashamed! And honestly, it's not that weird. None of my friends would have their own places if they hadn't found a spouse/partner to share expenses with, and even then, their parents helped them get on their feet. It's very unusual for someone to live totally alone without any kind of support. If, like me, you aren't interested in finding a partner or getting married, it's going to be a little tougher going out into the world.


    Also I'm sure it varies by country/culture. I bet there are places all over the world where it's common for entire families to live together. The whole "graduate high school, move out at 18, shack up with your partner and start making babies" life path seems like a modern American construct to me. It obviously isn't going to suit everyone.
     
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  8. Confederacy

    Confederacy Veteran Veteran

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    I'm going to be 24 next month and I still live at home, no shame in that. I'm working full time and my plan is to buy a house next year. Screw renting, that's just a waste of money.
     
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  9. captainproton

    captainproton Dangerously Nifty Veteran

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    I am approaching my third annual 29th birthday, and live at home, because both of my parents are disabled and can't provide for themselves financially, or even do all their own housework.  I personally don't feel any shame in this situation, but it is frustrating.  I'm happy to take care of them, but I'm frustrated that the government won't do right by them and the only jobs available only allow me to keep my head above water.
     
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  10. Alexander Amnell

    Alexander Amnell Jaded Optimist Veteran

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       I got out of the house when I was 17, but my situation was extremely lucky in that I rented a small shack from an elderly friend of my mom's who needed a young person to perform routine maintenance on her huge property and help her take care of her horses. I was fortunate as such to live in the place virtually rent free (50 bucks a month + utilities) in exchange for onerous yardwork in the spring/summer and playing with animals year round. It was a sweet setup outside of summer, and I'd probably still be there today if I had stayed single forever like I used to plan back then.


       There is no shame in staying at home though as long as you aren't an undue burden to your parents in the process. I know plenty of people who live at home as adults but most of them pay their fare share in cash, chores, care-giving etc. I've tried a couple of times to convince my mom to come stay with us as her age is catching up with her and the last few years have not been kind to her financially (supposed to be retired by now, had to basically empty out retirement for medical bills) and I don't like seeing her have to work retail til she drops just because she's been out of the field she has a masters in for almost a decade and combined with her age that means no one will hire her.

       Being thirty isn't so bad most days, unfortunately it's almost over for me as well.
     
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  11. Fungii

    Fungii Veteran Veteran

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    My sister didn't move out until she was 30 and even that was with the help of my mother. I managed to move out a year ago at 22 but it hasn't exactly been fun and adventurous. I totally get how you feel though; I was only back home for about a year and a half after university and it was the worst time I've had in a long while. Lame min. wage job, no-one from my course lived nearby, having to do what your parents say like you're a kid; it's rough.
     
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  12. SinSilver

    SinSilver Veteran Veteran

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    I wouldn't be in a rush to leave the nest, some shallow folk might accuse you of being  lesser of an adult than them because they moved out at 18 but in actuality, it gives you a better chance to save money, put money into projects or business ideas, and to spend time with your family. You have your entire life to pay rent, electricity, and not see your family for months at a time.
     
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  13. kaukusaki

    kaukusaki Awesome Programmer Extraordinaire Veteran

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    I moved back with my mother 5 years ago after she fell ill. I was lucky to have decent places to live and work until economy tanked and businesses downsized. I'm 32 now and if I could move out, I would in a heartbeat. I pay rent and bills (in my family if you don't work, you don't eat) as well as work at my crummy soul destroying job. If things weren't difficult now.... But I stay because of economic factors. Most folks I know living with parents are single. Those with places of their own are married or inherited their homes.


    stay until you save enough to afford on your own. There is no shame in helping your parents.
     
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  14. Bakuda

    Bakuda The Music Man Veteran

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    It all really boils down to your individual circumstance.  I'm 30, and I live with my mother and sister.  We're all single and didn't see any reason to live separately when we can just find a good house and split the rent.  So that's what we did! 
     
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  15. ProperDave

    ProperDave Mad Scientist Extraordinaire Member

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    Jumping in this conversation a little late so perhaps the issues I'll mention have already been discussed, but in the UK at least, rising house prices and private rental costs are destroying young people's abilities to get a home on their own - I think the last report I read was that it takes on average 10 years to save for a minimum deposit for a house now outside of the capital London. If you're unfortunate enough to live in London (like I was), it's more like 15 to 20.


    After graduation I moved about a bit and between rented accommodation I was living with family until I was 31, then I left London for the North of England where I now comfortably live in house of my own (admitted privately rented as I continue to save for my deposit) for the same price as a flat-share in the capital.


    My friends and colleagues around my age are either stuck renting as they try and scrape together mortgage deposits or have only been able to buy their first properties after small loans from family members. Nobody that I know personally in my age group had the money themselves to buy a property on their own.


    Edit: Oh, and there's another issues that isn't often brought up... because most mortgages are usually 25-30 year repayments; I have colleagues who are over 45 who are struggling to get mortgages/remortgages as they're too close to retirement age for the banks to be willing to lend. So there's now 2 issues at play; 1) The young who can't afford a house, and 2) The 40+ who 'are too old' in the eyes of the lenders.
     
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  16. CallMeKerrigan

    CallMeKerrigan Veteran Veteran

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    I moved out at 18 but I had a dysfunctional childhood (nothing to do with my parents). I live on the opposite side of the country as my home town and I'm never going back. I'm really envious of people who at my age have the support of loved ones and loved ones close by. I don't think it's bad at all, I think it's important. I hardly ever see someone my age on their own.
     
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  17. Armanic

    Armanic Veteran Veteran

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    I moved out at 25, no particular skills or classes. Struggling and stuck with jobs I don't like every since but I am living on my own at least. I just wish I would have went ahead and got a class that I want now but I have car and appartment payments and barely have money left at the end of the month after these so I cant for now. :/ Honestly just make sure you have a decent job or at least finished school in a field with open spots before moving out.
     
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  18. kaukusaki

    kaukusaki Awesome Programmer Extraordinaire Veteran

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    Now im finally moving out. I'll be 33 once complete lol... Mom downsized since my sister had a kid and moved and im always jetting across town to help them (babysit sis kid or help elderly mom). She going into those senior apartments (i dont like the idea of nursing homes) so i got a nice apt 2 blocks away to raise hell against staff if need be. Mom is still fiercely independent but she's up in age and my long hours at the job make me unable to care for her effectively. So at least this way she'll get her care and i can work in peace until the weekend (to babysit since sis wants a break and i have no social life lol)

    Situations do improve they just take time.
     
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  19. JosephSeraph

    JosephSeraph White Mage Restaff

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    I don't see a point in moving away from your parents, no matter your age, unless you have an objective.
    I am 22 as well and I don't really cave about moving away from here; I financially help with our house with around the same money i'd spend living in a cheaper city, we get to plan our money together and invest in things that neither of us alone would be able to, Only one electricity / gas / water bill etc. to pay (so only one person has to actually go out to pay it), I can see my younger siblings grow, help mom at home, there's really no downside.

    If I were to be living by myself I'd be... Alone, living worse with the same investment, not being able to see my family, for no point at all.

    Now, if I were to be romantically engaged to someone, eventually we'd plan on moving together I suppose... And it is absolutely in my plans to travel to study. But since I don't care about college, I don't think I'm moving anytime soon.

    Really, this thing about turning 18 and moving away seems like a strange social thing. There's no shame in living with your parents even if you're 40, if you financially contribute, are not a burden and it is a mutual agreement. You could technically even invest in rebuilding your home to turn it into two joined houses (which is how our uncle has been "living" with us for the last 15 years, he's 51)
     
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  20. Pierman Walter

    Pierman Walter Chunk Monster Veteran

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    Don't worry too much about it. The nuclear family as a concept was invented by a coalition of real estate lords and automobile magnates in order to spread people out as far as possible so they can buy more houses and cars.
     
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