I'm 22 and still live with parents

Discussion in 'General Lounge' started by Nemo, Jun 29, 2016.

  1. Ms Littlefish

    Ms Littlefish Dangerously Caffeinated Global Mod

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    I think at least some amount of it is cultural. But, then I would also mention that times and circumstances are changing. I don't think there's anything wrong with living at home with your parents if it makes logistical and financial sense to live with your parents. If you have a great relationship with your family and contribute I think it can be a very beneficial setup.

    That said, I'll be blunt, but my parents are not people I can live with so I left the second I was a legal adult, and even at times before that. Living at home wasn't an option for me but there were times when I was much younger that I wished it was an option because it would have made so much sense. But, I thankfully found my footing later on and have a fantastic partner who has always been supportive of me reaching my goals.
     
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  2. JosephSeraph

    JosephSeraph White Mage Restaff

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    A thing about this finding-a-partner-and-settiling-down mentality is that it can be surprisingly frustrating for gay people as we make up... 1.5% of the population?
    I don't see myself settling down with anyone anytime soon. So hard to find an even remotely potential partner, and then when I do find they're the most irresponsible shitbags in the universe.
    So yeah, moving out from family to having a fiance is... nigh impossible. Another reason why I'm gonna enjoy the fact I have a decent family to live together hahah >v>)b
     
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  3. Hudell

    Hudell Dog Lord Veteran

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    I moved out of my parents house when I started working far away. When I was 18 I rented an apartment and lived there for a year, until I got a job back at my hometown and went back to live with my parents. Only moved out again when I got my current job 3 years later.
    I noticed that, specially among americans, living with your parents is often something that people are ashamed of, but honestly, if I could I would go back there in a heartbeat.
     
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  4. mlogan

    mlogan Global Moderators Global Mod

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    It is very much a cultural thing in the U.S. I think it's shifting a bit, but when I was teen, it was the assumed progression - at 18 you either go live at college, get a job and move out, or perhaps live at home while you went to college. You're welcome back at college breaks, but once you graduate you should have a job and your own place to live.

    Like I said, I do think with the trouble graduates have in finding jobs and such, there is a shifting mentality. And really, as long as it works for all involved, more power to them for living at home.
     
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  5. palinskyjoe

    palinskyjoe affable madman Veteran

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    @JosephSeraph -- I feel you. I'm a gay male and it took me a long time to reconcile the societal belief of heteronormativity with my own beliefs on what a relationship should be. I can say, however, that at 31 I have a fiancee (who I've been with for four years now) and we moved in together about 2 years into the relationship. Domestic life isn't really either of our styles but we make it work. Its all about what you want and finding the person that can bring you to that place (literally and figuratively).

    And, on topic also, I think that there are a million factors as to why it is difficult for people to move away from home at a young age. Prices have gone up, cost of living has gone up, wages have remained the same, blah blah. BUT, it really is important to not be too hard on yourself or measure your life against someone else's. Maybe it feels weird to live at home at 18/22/28/35/etc., but who cares? Live your life and make the moves that you feel comfortable making when you can.

    I moved out at 18 and lived on my own (in NYC even for a few years) until 24. I had to move back in with my parents from 24-26 and it was a nightmare. I felt like such a useless person, but I needed to move back in (and thankfully I have a great family who welcomed me back) so that I could save/grow/thrive. I moved out again when I was 26 and have lived successfully in several spots (the most recent being 2 years in Philly with my fiancee, and before living here I knew nothing about the city really).

    Anyway, I ramble. Life is weird but you're all doing great.
     
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  6. mogwai

    mogwai 1984 Veteran

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    I'm going to turn 33 this year and I've been living with my parents off-and-on and for the majority of time since 2005 and then solid all the way before that before that because I was still in school. The longest I've kept an apartment is two years for bipolar reasons (I'm a good housekeeper, but it's like been evicted for getting disagreeable with a roommate or the maintenance man, etc.) . I'm in an apartment in my hometown now and things are quieter here, so maybe this time I'm finally moved out for good. That's like 2005 - 2016, still living with my parents.
     
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  7. Lee Sang

    Lee Sang Sang Hendrix Veteran

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    In my country, living with parents is normal and totally fine. But tbh, I still want to move out and own a house and tell my future boyfriend (hopefully I could find one) to live there with me. Living with parents could be a little bit trouble if they always judge you hard and you can't be yourself. Oh, and I'm 20 btw. :rhappy:
     
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  8. Wookiee420

    Wookiee420 Veteran Veteran

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    i moved out at 17, now at 33 i am back at home and have been for the past 1.5 years. life, sicknesses, and "friends" screwed me on that whole living away from home stuff and i had to come back....its not the end of the world, and if nothing else family is there to have your back.so dont worry, have fun
     
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  9. PixelHeart

    PixelHeart The Pixel Heartist! Veteran

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    Well...in my case, I was slow to "leave the nest" due to....um, I'm just gonna say psychological issues. I simply could not live on own after I got out of high school, even if I could afford to. Eventually I moved in with my sister, its been about 6-7 years now, because living with mother was taxing my sanity even more...and here I am now, 26y/o and....functional.....if not sane :) . I too have often felt worthless for not being able to leave the nest earlier....Its just so jarring to me that just about all the people I went to school and church with are almost all gone to live in other parts of the country, and have good jobs and even families....and here I still am. I didn't like myself very much.

    It took me time, but I learned that I didn't have to measure myself by the strides of my peers. This isn't to excuse myself from bettering myself, or out of self pity, but quite frankly, the majority of my peers really did have a better start than I did. Of course it might take me time to get on my feet, especially when battling with past trauma....I had to learn, as I strived to better myself, to be merciful to myself also.

    As it just so happens, I am presently looking for my first apartment to rent, just me. I will be living on my own for the first time, paying my own bills, and not just splitting them with my sis. I am a little scared, but...I think I can do it :) . Don't give up. Show yourself mercy!
     
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  10. pamoire

    pamoire Veteran Veteran

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    I'm 25 and I moved out my parents home last year. I graduated from a pricey art school a couple years ago and got into the animation industry here in my country. They paid me around $200 a month (converted from my currency) which seriously got me worried about my future. I stayed in that company for a year and a half til I quit due to depression of wasting my life in a dead end job. Then used up my savings to help out my family while I was jobless.

    My parents actually wanted me staying with them to save money because they experienced that in their youth, but I still felt like a big disappointment so I moved out and am supporting myself with freelance work. I'm getting by, but have no significant savings and might move back in after my contract ends. I've always had an inferiority complex to my older sister, who's really successful but has always treated me like dirt. I know it's completely fine to receive help from your parents because they love you but at the same time you love them and want to prove that you were raised 'right'.

    @KaBlooZio I know how you feel, as if everyone's far ahead while you're left behind. Happy to hear you developing a positive outlook and wish you the best! :kaohi:
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2017
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  11. Reapergurl

    Reapergurl Drummer Extraordinaire! xD Veteran

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    In my case...my entirely dysfunctional and defunct family (saving all from a massive rant) were not to have a future with at all; Mom's in the Insane Asylum, chasing mice like a cat does, and my sister is still in a coma, going on eight years and I have no power to pull the plug because she was stupid to give POA to Mom. No living relatives I know of to take the burden, and still waiting for the courts to make a bloody decision on whether or not my sister's living will can be altered.

    You.
    Are.
    Incredibly.
    Lucky.
    To have a home, a family, a solid rock to rely on.

    Take it from me, a 34 y/o trans woman who has been forced to live her life as an emancipated minor, in the care of Witness Protection, across five continents, and unhappy for the majority of her life, just simply because she could not settle and try to find a niche to grow in. You are so fortunate to have what you have, and though I would never trade places with you, know that there are many who would.

    It does get better, maybe not for everyone but for those whom have found that little niche to grow from, it does get better.

    Keep your head up.

    ~Amelia ♥
     
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  12. Saltwater Croc

    Saltwater Croc Voice Actor/Frelance Composer Veteran

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    I'm 30 and I still live with my parents. But then there has to be a "WHY". Times are tougher nowadays. Many people can't find jobs as easily as some can. In my case, I take care of two sick parents while looking for work on the side. Everyone's got their reasons. If they're noble reasons that make sense, then you've ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to be ashamed of. Don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise.
     
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  13. kaukusaki

    kaukusaki Awesome Programmer Extraordinaire Veteran

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    American culture is weird that its expected you move out at 18 get a job etc. I ran off at 16 and finished college by 18 and worked since as a secretary before moving up in the tech field. The longest i stayed on my own was 5 years until mom got sick and the recession hit i moved back. It's been 8 years. Now that everything's settled a bit it's final now.

    Living with family until you ready didnt seem weird in the culture i grew up in (im native American- blackfoot if you're wondering) so there was no pressure. At most it was expected to marry and move out. One wasnt considerd adult until 30 anyway lol. Im considered weird because i have no children & have no plans to marry. But with all my siblings kids i help out with i need none lol. So im just the weird/cool auntie.

    If your family is ok and not super dysfunctional stay and save as much as possible. My family is dysfunctional af but we work best when we aren't under the same roof lol. as long as we rally round when something major happens (illness natural disaster etc ) we can put the axes away for a bit.

    If you have someone you can trust to live with that's fine too. I prefer being on my own after getting burned by crap relationships or lazy family members and im happy that way. I know most don't enjoy it or are able to afford it and i consider myself lucky i can afford it (i never put down anyone who can't. I used to be homeless before so i understand the struggle) . do what you can and don't lose sight of your goals. It won't be difficult forever.

    Let nobody tell you that it's somehow weird/lame to live with your folks. Not everyone knows your situation. Their opinions dont pay your rent.
     
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