Hey yall, I just want to thank you for being transparent. Almost every one of you have experienced or struggled in a way I can wholeheartedly relate to, and while my heart goes out to you for your trials, It does encourage me to know that Im not the sad weirdo who just dosent "get it". @jamalMV- And your no different . I wish I had something profound and helpful to lighten your load, but to be honest, Im still slugging along myself. But I will say, years ago I had a very dark time of my own that lasted roughly 3 years. I was wrecked with such crippling anxiousness that I could barely get out of bed to eat. I slept so many days away. At one point, I wanted to end it....I didint think it would ever end, the feelings of loneliness and directionless and fears my mind seemed to fabricate all on its own to torment me. But....it did. And it didint happen all at once, It was a very gradual process I barely even noticed, and It took me realizing a few things. As cold as it may sound, eventually we do have to move on. In my case regardless of how anxious about life I felt I realized if I didint get out of bed and at least try to make something different...well, then thats exactly what I'd get, nothing different. I had to realize that I couldn't control other people (at least, not really...) and that I was not responsible for their mistakes (even if their very close, like, even your parents...and to be totally honest, Im still kinda working on that one), and I know that sounds like a real 'duh' kinda thing, but I wonder how many of us either do or have tailored our behaviors in order to 'appease' at our deficit, at one time or another. Like I said, Im still rowing along up river like you, I hope you find your light at the end of your tunnel soon too. .