Looking for an experienced writer to write a very small scene

[Nightblade50]

Hello,
I have some serious doubts if this is the right place for this request but if not I guess a mod can move it...
Anyways, I have a scene in my game that I can't seem to get to sound right. It's small and won't take much writing.
However I have rewritten it again...and again, and again, many times and I am not satisfied.
So if a writer who knows his/her stuff can help me out I'd like it a lot
PM me for details

 

[Finnuval]

Perhaps a little more info on the type of scène might help

 

[Nightblade50]

mmm okay I'll post it here

The dialogue is between 3 characters; I'll give their personalities here:
Nova, male: Nova is a calm and serious man. He isn't emotional often, and he generally tries to do what's right and uphold justice. He's also kind of lonely.
Pandora, female: Pandora is proud, haughty, and snappy. She's rude and impatient.
Andromeda, female: Andromeda is quiet and shy. She's 19 or so and is extremely smart, well-learned in machines and tech.

The dialogue starts with the three characters on a spaceship, trying to find new planets with resources to mine or to live on. Pandora and Andromeda are in front of a screen, Nova is off to the side. Offscreen, Pandora has just broken the screen and Andromeda is trying to fix it. Pandora is impatient and tells Andromeda to hurry up. Andromeda fixes it and Earth appears on the screen. They see what looks to be some kind of alien spacecraft next to it, then the spacecraft fires a laser at Earth, destroying it in an explosion. Everyone is shocked, not sure what happened, thinking that it might be a problem with the screen, but maybe not. A little later, as they are flying the ship, they come across an unknown planet and land there.