RPG Maker Forums

Those who are aware of my activity on this forum since the very beginning know that my game is currently running on a horrible and mostly non-functional homemade JavaScript engine, and I use RPG Maker to test sprite animations and effects before trying to put them into the game. For the time being, I am mostly making mock ups in RPG Maker, and will try to port everything over when the engine is stable enough. I am here to warn those of you who want to make your own engine to not do that, because it will wind up horrible and non-functional. That said, there are some advantages to this, in that you have much more control over what can be done in-game, and the glitches are utterly spectacular. Luckily, I have a programmer to deal with this, and all I have to worry about is everything else. Here are some things the engine is capable of doing, with a respectable 30% chance of success.


Features


Turn-based FPS battle system


Actual chemistry-based explosives


A lot of status effects, such as radioactivity, smoke point, conductivity, and presentability


Time-based missions


Cutscenes


Unintentional Features


Stealth gameplay (You can escape guards by sleeping in a mass grave.)


Hack n' Slash gameplay (Hit detection sometimes doesn't work, so instead of triggering a turn-based battle, everyone can keep on hitting each other.)


Fatigue and survival mechanics (The engine is so poorly optimized that stat boosts unload themselves during lag spikes.)


Vehicles (The running sprite turns the player character into a stock photo of a Nazi tank for no reason.)


Legendary Mistakes


Riding a bike downhill while fat causes spontaneous human combustion


Overworld based cutscenes cause spontaneous human combustion


Falling out a window, and only windows, causes spontaneous human combustion


Turning left too many times causes spontaneous human combustion


Goats scream enemies out of existence


New shoes teleport you to the void


Can't eat in front of French people


You can weigh negative pounds


Spacesuits appear to be underwear


Your left foot erases all of the pixels on screen where it has been, eventually leaving nothing


This thread serves as an engine developer log, and also so you guys can laugh at my hubris.