Discussion in 'Games In Development' started by markp80nj, Dec 8, 2016.

  1. markp80nj

    markp80nj Veteran Veteran

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    Hey everyone, so I decided to release a demo of my game to get some feedback.

    I hope I'm in the right forum, as I do think this is still an early project.

    I have no skill in digital arts, so I have used mainly RTP graphics and music, with a few exceptions.

    So, please don't judge the art style, or the mapping, as I hope this will get redone in the future, if I can ever afford an artist, or maybe one will like the game and want to join my team? *hint hint*

    In any case, the feedback I'm looking for is the usual bugs, spelling errors, but mostly the story.

    I know it's only a small demo, so you won't really get the whole story yet, but I want to know if you guys think it's an interesting story and you would like to know more, or it's not really that good and I should probably try something else.

    So any criticism or bug and spelling reports are appreciated.

    Also, if you see something I forgot to Credit someone for, please let me know!

    Thank you for your time!


    This game features disturbing scenes which involve domestic violence, child abuse, and sexual content is inferred at one or more points.

    If you are a minor, do not play this game without your parents consent.



    The continent of Viseria is ruled by a Theocratic Monarchy, that believes in the teachings of LuzJusta, it's main religion.

    The religion of LuzJusta teaches that all life comes from the Goddess of Light.

    The Goddess desired for company, and this desire created a rift in the Light, giving rise to Darkness.

    From the Essence of Light she extracted Water and Wind, and from the Essence of Darkness, Fire and Earth.

    LuzJusta believes that while not dangerous themselves, the Elements of Darkness represent the primal, the world of Matter.

    And the Elements of Light represent knowledge and the world of the Spirit.

    Some living beings have a genetic makeup which allows them to channel the elements.

    These people or creatures are called Adepts.

    Adepts can only control one of the Elements, that which they have been born with the genetics for.

    As for the Essences themselves, throughout history there have only been six people able to channel the Essence of Light.

    They are known as the Light Sages.

    It is said that a Seventh Sage would bring untold peace unto the world.

    There have also been Dark Sages, but little is known of the ancient religion that worships the Dark Essence.

    Known as TenebraSano, the ancient religion was all but extinguished over 400 years ago, when it lurked out of the darkness and tried to take
    the kingdom from the hands of the Fifth Sage of Light.
    There are rumors that they still exist, and will one day rise again against the empire of light.





    Oni is a sixteen year old boy that lives at home with his father.

    His mother died when he was ten, leaving him with his drunk and thieving father.

    One day, his father brings home a surprise that will change his life forever.




    Mina is a nine year old girl who doesn't really have a clue about life.

    Having been raised locked up in a house, she has no knowledge of the outside world, and everything is new to her.




    Guren is a knight in service of the Queen's Royal Elite forces.

    These are special forces that are under direct command of the Queen, unlike the regular army that is under the command of the High Priest, himself answerable only to the King.





    Tera is also one of the Queen's Royal Elite Forces.

    The fastest archer in the Capital, she joins Guren in a trip to Madera, where they will meet a top General from the church to capture a dangerous villain.




    The criminal Guren and Tera are looking for.

    It seems him and Guren have a history together



    Weapon:Tessen Fan

    From a far away land, ShiHanna is a kunoichi from a far away land.

    She has traveled to Viseria in search of someone.




    Aneirin is a bard from Madera that likes to sing and spend his afternoons at the Tavern.




    Cora is an Adept of Earth, and the daughter of Aneirin.

    She seems to have a grudge against the Church.


    The Game features a CTB battle system with Three Rows and up to six characters on the battlefield.

    Each Row has it's advantages and disadvantages depending on your class, skill and/or weapon.

    While this is not very well developed yet, my plan is to have a battle system that will require planning and strategy , depending on what weapons you have equipped, which skills you use, and what row you are on.

    The world map is not very developed yet, but I do plan on adding exploration elements, such as dungeons and secret places and treasures.

    There are already a few puzzles and hidden treasures on some maps, and I plan on adding more and different types of puzzles.

    Try and find all the hidden weapons, items and gold I have already put on the game!


    ScrnSht1.jpg ScrnSht2.jpg ScrnSht3.jpg ScrnSht4.jpg ScrnSht5.jpg


    So, thanks for reading all this, and hopefully for trying my Demo.

    Let me know what you think!
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2018
  2. Dutch Power Creations

    Dutch Power Creations Veteran Veteran

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    I tried your game but I stopped after the 3rd long battle. Here is my feedback:

    1 major thing: The story start is way to disrupting for kids I think you should at least give it a PEGI age sign are something cause dayum dude, guy saying that the baby is gonna make him money and dad hitting mom and kids... 

    - I like how you have hidden treasures and puzzles and the combination of the two. Having too many (found 4-5 already) and getting a potion for something could devalue what you are trying to accomplish.

    - Your message box is 6 rows at first with the text shown up in a weird manner to me. I do not really get why you made it that way.

    - The starting battles are way too long for me, it disrupts the game flow too much. And make it more realistic or with more options to start with (give something to explore rather than just attack). And bats using heal, that is just weird in my opinion?

    If you make the game flow feel better I would try your game again if you want me too.

    markp80nj likes this.
  3. markp80nj

    markp80nj Veteran Veteran

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    Thanks for your input. 

    I will edit the post to warn about the mature content, and try to work the battles a bit. 

    I need to get home though, I'm at work right now. 

    Really appreciate the feedback! 


    Ok, I put the warning on the OP, hopefully that's good enough. If not let me know.

    As for the battles, I have a few ideas that I want to test, and if they work, I'll scrap the whole system for a new one.

    The messages was me testing out one of Yanfly's plugins and I thought it would be better to have all the text in one box, rather than clicking through three boxes to read it, but maybe it looks better if it's all the same size?

    The bats using heal was how I made it to show how you need different weapons to reach different rows, and how you need to plan your attacks (like reaching the second row, or keeping your agility boost).

    If you look at it, the heal they use is wind based, which, bats fly, so I figured they could have wind magic.

    Anyway, if my new idea for a battle system works, the whole thing will be changed.

    As for the potion being one the treasures, I put a few hidden because they will be very useful in a later battle.

    But maybe I'm making the battles too difficult.

    I was afraid of them being too easy, and wanted something challenging, where you had to figure the best ways to switch rows and weapons, but maybe I went a little over the top.

    Again, let me see what I can do with my new battle system idea.

    After the third battle, magic will start being a part of the battle system, but maybe I should start non magic users with some special skills.

    I did have them at first, then took them out, thinking I would make them available later in the game.

    But maybe having at least one per character at the start would be better.

    I know you didn't get too far (third battle is right at the beginning still), but did you like the little bit of story you saw?

    This is my biggest concern, because battle systems, treasures, messages can all be fixed.

    And I appreciate all the input and help I can get to make them better.

    But if the story isn't good, then I will have to scrap the whole project and try something different.

    So thank you for your time and input, you definitely gave me some good pointers.

    I hope I get some more feedback while I try to work on these points you made!
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 17, 2016
  4. Abdulla Al-Farsi

    Abdulla Al-Farsi Gamer Veteran

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    Well, your game can be a very excellent game, but I believe you next to add more feelings in your cut scenes. The story is really interesting, but I think it runs quickly. I liked the characters and the gameplay. You really need to improve your mapping skills.

    I will give it 6/10.

    Good Luck... :)  
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 17, 2016
    markp80nj likes this.
  5. markp80nj

    markp80nj Veteran Veteran

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    Hey thanks! 

    It's good you like the story, that's the most important thing at the moment. 

    Could you clarify what you mean by adding more feelings to the cutscenes? 

    And you think I'm making the story move to fast? 

    Like maybe I should have more battles and exploration before each cutscene?

    As for the mapping, this is something that can be worked on, it's more of a placeholder, just so I can put my story into practice. 

    Thank you so much for your input. 
  6. Abdulla Al-Farsi

    Abdulla Al-Farsi Gamer Veteran

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    Hi, again :)

    Hmm, I don't know how to explain it.

    well, try to add more time for the fadeout. For example:


            -Wait: 60 frame

            -Fade in

    That's should work good. :)
    markp80nj likes this.
  7. markp80nj

    markp80nj Veteran Veteran

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    Ah, ok I see what you mean now.

    That's a great tip, thanks!
  8. Tsarmina

    Tsarmina Resident Redhead ♥ Veteran

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    | neverland |
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    Java :P
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    I might play the demo later but I'm very fickle so don't be offended please >w< 

    I like how this looks so far but I would love to know more about the actual plot of the game D: seeing that the "story" spoiler is mostly about the background. I looked at your screenshots too and I already love what Guren says :)  He just seems very funny in general XD
    markp80nj likes this.

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