My thoughts on Online Communities, Groups and Forums such as this one

Celianna

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Just with anyone, in real life or online, you can't expect to join and be the closest of friends with everyone, where everyone knows your name. It takes time, and effort from your part. Especially your part. I think your issue here isn't this community - RPG Maker Web is one of the more inclusive communities there is. Your issue seems to stem from yourself.


I remember a darker period of my life where I'd play MMORPGs, and even though I saw other people play, I felt lonely. I wasn't talking to them, I was too scared to ask them to join my party, because it felt like I was bothering them. So essentially, I made zero friends in an environment that made it all too easy to make friends. I even stopped playing some of them simply because I just couldn't make any friends on them. I played World of Warcraft fro two weeks, and didn't make a single friend. It left me with bitter memories.


But of course, the fault lied with me. Not the community. I was the shy wallflower hoping someone would drop out of the sky and befriend me. I expected friends, and was sorely disappointed when it didn't happen. When I saw everyone around me having fun playing with friends, I still couldn't get a single person on my friendlist.


Of course, luckily, I changed :)


I made the effort to go to popular hang out spots in games, and I'd talk in allchat. I'd involve anyone around me, I'd crack jokes, i'd ask questions, and simply have a lot of fun. Soon, I was dragging people to go along with me to 'glitch hunt', and I was known for the "tree girl" because I liked glitching myself onto the top of a tree, and made it a challenge to see if anyone could do it as well. We'd spent hours trying to get on top of a dayum 3D tree in a game. I made friends, I'd ask them about their life and their day, and we got close.


Now years later when I'm 26, I still play online games, and my friend lists are so full I need to kick people off of it. I have a pretty wide circle of friends who enjoy talking to me and playing with me.


But I didn't get those friends sitting on my butt hoping someone would recognize me as this awesome person. I put myself out there and became a friend first and foremost, before I could call someone else my friend. I'm still meeting new people each day, but that's because I make the effort to do so.


I'm moving to a new city in a few weeks. I'm going to see if there's a D&D group that's active that I can join, and take some sewing lessons just for the heck of it. Friends don't fall from the sky, and loneliness doesn't cure itself. Only you can make friends.


And hey this is an awesome community, stick around, help some people, post in discussions to get people to remember your name, I promise this isn't as hard as it seems.
 

jamalMV

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@Celianna It's nice to know someone has experienced the same issues i am facing at the moment but i still stand by what i said and i still think there are minor issues preventing people from fitting into groups in the real world/online. I'm gonna withdraw from the internet for a while to give myself some space to think about things at the moment i'm not in a very good place. Thanks for sharing your experience with me and i love your Tilesets they are really awesome.
 

Caitlin

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I do have something to say about this from all sides and really insightful.  The biggest problem with forums is that we all have varied people from all over the world, and as such, we each have different ways of behaving.  What's acceptable in one country is downright rude in another and it gets us into trouble.  The same thing happens because of reactions towards other people's statements.  I am well aware that Americans are downright WAY TOO EMOTIONAL involved in debates.  While other people in other cultures are seen as cold or boring when they are simply calm.  And then, you add trolls, jerk, nice people, mean people or people going through stuff in their lives, it makes the internet an interesting place.  I have been on forums that have had elitist, hard to get into forums and its usually the last leg of the forum, because they weren't always like that.  But I have found two forums that is generally friendly, but we just always have to remember that not everyone has skills that we do.


It's why I give away free graphics for commercial and free game use.  I mean, I feel that someone has to be the welcoming matt and seeing the free graphics inspires people to see if they can do their own.  I do understand that we all get involved in our own thing, but we do have to remember to try to help other people.   I hope that I am doing my own part in helping.
 
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@ScinayaThank you for understanding the underlying issue, yes i am extremely lonely and i turned to the internet to try and fix that because in the real world i was struggling to make friends and form relationships with others because people always made feel like an outsider and would be complete dicks towards me every time i gave my time to them.
Glad you didn't find that too intrusive. : ) I guess, I could relate to your story from my previous experience. I had period in life with most of my friends online and that was already step forward from rather lonely situation with my only couple of friends spread across country studying different things. Perhaps, people are not trying to be dicks, but come off such, since they don't know you and not how to react to you yet? I mean... I used to be afraid of my peers and expected being judged by them, while they just were neutral and knew everyone else better and hence were warm and welcoming to them. (I judged them more than they ever judged me in the end!) It's not always the case, and sure bullying is not okay. If that happens it is good to just protect yourself by either leaving such group or calling them out on it.


@Touchfuzzy *frantic wave* Good to spy you around : D
 

Vox Novus

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I remember a darker period of my life where I'd play MMORPGs, and even though I saw other people play, I felt lonely. I wasn't talking to them, I was too scared to ask them to join my party, because it felt like I was bothering them. So essentially, I made zero friends in an environment that made it all too easy to make friends. I even stopped playing some of them simply because I just couldn't make any friends on them. I played World of Warcraft fro two weeks, and didn't make a single friend. It left me with bitter memories.


But of course, the fault lied with me. Not the community. I was the shy wallflower hoping someone would drop out of the sky and befriend me. I expected friends, and was sorely disappointed when it didn't happen. When I saw everyone around me having fun playing with friends, I still couldn't get a single person on my friendlist.
I can totally relate to this and its incredibly true, back when I could still afford such fees to play WoW I had like no friends in the game, mostly because I played on my own and didn't try to talk to people. I didn't do instanced dungeons in groups even (played a healing focused paladin so was able to do some stuff on my own more than some other classes). Eventually I realized you got to put yourself out there a little even if there's a chance you aren't reciprocated; at the least you tried on your end. Worse case scenario you don't hit it off with some person you'll never actually have to deal with.


I haven't played the game in years but by the end of it I had made a small number of gaming friends I enjoyed chatting with while playing and the experience was all the better for it. You got to try no matter what.
 

Super121830

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Among all the forums I have been, most of them have people that are nice with each other, even with newcomers. RPG Maker web particularily is one of the best I've been on, when you ask a question, there is always someone willing to help, be it a newbie or a veteran.


And it is as everyone else stated here, to have friends in this forum, you just have to talk and do stuff arouns, just like in real life, if you have a few posts here and there maybe you will not have people talking to you as much as if you have ton of threads and comments on others'.
 

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