RMMV One's Desolation

[KazukiT]

This is a demo of a long-term game I am working on it. I am currently looking for feedback on the game. I also plan to look for a publisher for this game once I finish the whole game.

This game was made in RPG Maker MV. It is a horror adventure game with scenarios where your choices can lead to Liridona's escape or demise. This demo is roughly an hour long.

Spoiler: Premise

In the esteemed estate of the Cichy mansion, there seems to be a void within the household. However, one day Adele Cichy tells her daughter Liridona she has set up an arranged marriage with a prince named Nathaniel. Everything seems to be going well between the two of them until Liridona hears something she shouldn't have from the prince. So, can she escape from Nathaniel's grasp or will she succumb to his persistence?

Spoiler: Screenshots

Spoiler: Characters

Liridona Cichy: She is the main character of One's Desolation. She is a shy and quiet person, having trouble
standing up for herself and speaking up. Where she lacks confidence she makes up for it by helping others
out and listening to other people's woes.

Draven: An extra-dimensional demon that helps Liridona escape from her home. He is rather confident and lives in the
moment, not putting much thought into his actions. He has a deep-seated hatred for Nathaniel and will label him
a "fiend".

Nathaniel: Liridona's arranged spouse-to-be. He is cunning and manipulative. He loves toying with other people's
lives and can be quite possessive of Liridona.

Adele: The mother of Liridona. On the surface, she appears kind and caring, but underneath that facade, she is actually
cold and stern. She and Nathaniel have a sinister agenda for Liridona but her true intentions are unknown.

This game has loose story connections to Path of the Martyrs, The Heart's Fallacy and Blessed Relic Chronis .

Path of the Martyrs: https://kazuki-t126.itch.io/path-of-the-martyrs-full-game

The Heart's Fallacy: https://kazuki-t126.itch.io/the-hearts-fallacy

Blessed Relic Chronis: https://kazuki-t126.itch.io/blessed-relic-chronis


Controls

Arrow keys: Move and scroll through the menus

Space bar, Z key or Enter key: Interact with objects or people

C Key: Open/Close Menu

X Key: Cancel choices

Game Link: https://kazuki-t126.itch.io/ones-desolation-demo

 

[rpgLord69]

I tried it out, but can't figure out the way to advance from the very beginning Where are you supposed to go from the balcony / what are you supposed to do? In the hall a field blocks me, in the balcony the mouth asks for an item I don't have and then the shiny point in the balcony just leads to a character saying something, but it doesn't take me anywhere...maybe I missed something (or just suck at games )?

The music is good and I like the sprites. Changing the busts frequently also brings a nice life to the dialogue. Obviously a lot of work has been done on this game.

Btw, when I go to inventory and press space bar on that note-item, the note just flashes very quickly and then cancels itself disappearing.

Anyway, I'll play it to the end if you tell me how to continue

 

[KazukiT]

I tried it out, but can't figure out the way to advance from the very beginning Where are you supposed to go from the balcony / what are you supposed to do? In the hall a field blocks me, in the balcony the mouth asks for an item I don't have and then the shiny point in the balcony just leads to a character saying something, but it doesn't take me anywhere...maybe I missed something (or just suck at games )?

The music is good and I like the sprites. Changing the busts frequently also brings a nice life to the dialogue. Obviously a lot of work has been done on this game.

Btw, when I go to inventory and press space bar on that note-item, the note just flashes very quickly and then cancels itself disappearing.

Anyway, I'll play it to the end if you tell me how to continue

I'm glad you are enjoying the game so far. That dialogue you ran into is meant for a later scene. I forgot to add the proper variable to that, thanks for pointing that one. As for the note, I think it had the same number as another menu element that is why it didn't stay on screen. I will update the file tonight so there will be an updated version of the game so you will be able to progress.

 

[KazukiT]

@rpgLord69 were you able to finish the demo alright?

 

[rpgLord69]

Just tried it out. There is a problem where the sprite is invisible (transparent on?) after/during the cutscenes beginning from the balcony. Also I think in the constellation the correct answer in the game and on the note doesn't look the same. Like there was a straight line shown in the game where on the note there is a diagonal line or something. Also if I exit the constellation game and then get back, the old stars I have lit stay lit and gives me additional 9 uses. So if I just exit many times I can light them all. In the game where I had to collect shards and evade the shadows it was hard to win, because many times the white enemies appeared in a way that blocked me completely. Also when I saved in the save point in that segment, the timer didn't reset when loading, so I had about 4 seconds left to find cover after loading after dying.

 

[KazukiT]

Just tried it out. There is a problem where the sprite is invisible (transparent on?) after/during the cutscenes beginning from the balcony. Also I think in the constellation the correct answer in the game and on the note doesn't look the same. Like there was a straight line shown in the game where on the note there is a diagonal line or something. Also if I exit the constellation game and then get back, the old stars I have lit stay lit and gives me additional 9 uses. So if I just exit many times I can light them all. In the game where I had to collect shards and evade the shadows it was hard to win, because many times the white enemies appeared in a way that blocked me completely. Also when I saved in the save point in that segment, the timer didn't reset when loading, so I had about 4 seconds left to find cover after loading after dying.

I went through and fixed the bugs you listed to the best of my ability. The new version is up.

 

[alice_gristle]

Hi sweetheart! I played yo demo a bit, up to the point where Liri and Draven had teamed up and went out to the balcony where errything looked messed up. It looks like a very ambitious game, and there's tons of things I like!

• The movement scheme is totally my cup! The level layout is nice, and I like that I don't hafta guess at where to go... 'cuz I can go up or down the hallway and that's it. I also love it that when I go outa the mansion, it's just a static scene in a café, that was sweet!
• I'm also totally into chat scenes where I get to pick options. It looks like I picked the wrong ones, but whatevs, it wuz still fun? I like that I didn't get a game over or anything 'cuz of the wrong choices, either!
• The characters seem interesting! Liri isn't really the kind of person I usually root for, but there seems to be a ton of character development room in her?

I'm not really into horror stories, so mebbe the story not for me, buuut... I got a couple of points if you wanna consider 'em? Totally just suggestions, but maybe if you wanna improve yo storytelling?

Spoiler

1) This isn't such a big deal, but I kinda felt that Nathaniel's intro and foreshadowing could use a little something? Like - okay I'd hate it if my mom arranged dates for me, but at first, Nat didn't seem like such a bad guy? Like, not Prince Charming but just a regular dude? And Liri's mom, yeah, while I don't like what she does, I can understand why she does it, so she doesn't seem so bad either.

Aaaand then whammo bammo, them's the bad guys! Like, it comes mebbe a bit too out of the blue for me? It's like, I don't get creepy vibes before the big turd drops, I'm just like, ok, this is the new normal then?

Mebbe you could improve this by, umm... I dunno, make the intro a bit longer? Like, foreshadow it a bit more that Nat's rotten? And that Liri's mom is into some shady stuff vis-a-vis her daughter? I totally understand if you don't wanna do this, 'cuz I understand you wanna get into the thick of it fast, but... I dunno?

I guess another thing you could try is somehow make Nat more over-the-top? Kinda like, Liri is, "Hey mom what's up" and mom is like, "Hey darling, I arranged you a marvelllllous date!" and you go on the date and Nat's off the bat like, "I WANT TO POSSESS YOU AND YOU WILL GIVE BIRTH TO THIRTEEN SONS FOR ME." And Liri's like, get me outa here. Aaaand she goes back home, tells her mom, and mom is like, ok dear... and the next morning mom is like, "OH THIS NAT BOY IS SO NICE, I INVITED HIM OVER! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A SECOND DATE IN, let's see, FIVE MINUTES! GET READY DEAR!"

I dunno, jus' some ideas! Take 'em or don't! But like I said, that's not such a big deal, so don't feel pressured to change anything if you don't feel like it!

2) The other thing I got in mind was Draven's intro. I don't mind this too much either, I mean I like him, he seems cool, plus inconsiderate hotheads with demonic power are always fun!

The thing I'm not too sure 'bout is how Draven and Liri form their contract? I mean, honey baby, this demon dude just burst into ya room, now he tellin' you to form a demonic contract and you just like, "ok, I guess I got no choice, let's roll". You just ran away from one creepster, now ya jumpin' into the arms of another?! NOOOOOO

Ahem. I mean, there's a couple of things you could tweak maybe? For me, please? Don't feel pressured tho, I'm accommodating! For one, maybe Draven could jus' trick Liri into doing it? Like he's all like, oh, I wanna eat this apple, baby you got a fruit knife? And then he TOTALLY ACCIDENTALLY bumps into Liri and makes her cut her hand and then he's like, oh baby lemme bandage that up for ya BAM YOU'RE BOUND TO ME NOW, FOOL!

Oooor, maybe you could introduce Draven a lot earlier? Like, there could be this random dude, a new servant that mom hired, and he's just hanging around. And if you talk to him he's just like, "oh I'm nooooobody." But HE SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO GO ANYWHERE? And when Liri flees Natty Natster into her room, that weirdo servant is there, and he's like, hey Liri, I know a way out, BUT FIRST YOU HAFTA CUT YOUR PALM.

And she's like wut? Well I'm crazy, it seems, might as well do it. And then the servant sheds his mortal form and reveals himself to be Draven!

Uuummm... sorry 'bout the long rant! I got carried away. Anyway, I think yo game has a lot of promise, and even tho it doesn't look like the kind of game I'm usually interested in, just look how into the story I suddenly got!

 

[KazukiT]

Hi sweetheart! I played yo demo a bit, up to the point where Liri and Draven had teamed up and went out to the balcony where errything looked messed up. It looks like a very ambitious game, and there's tons of things I like!

• The movement scheme is totally my cup! The level layout is nice, and I like that I don't hafta guess at where to go... 'cuz I can go up or down the hallway and that's it. I also love it that when I go outa the mansion, it's just a static scene in a café, that was sweet!
• I'm also totally into chat scenes where I get to pick options. It looks like I picked the wrong ones, but whatevs, it wuz still fun? I like that I didn't get a game over or anything 'cuz of the wrong choices, either!
• The characters seem interesting! Liri isn't really the kind of person I usually root for, but there seems to be a ton of character development room in her?

I'm not really into horror stories, so mebbe the story not for me, buuut... I got a couple of points if you wanna consider 'em? Totally just suggestions, but maybe if you wanna improve yo storytelling?

Spoiler

1) This isn't such a big deal, but I kinda felt that Nathaniel's intro and foreshadowing could use a little something? Like - okay I'd hate it if my mom arranged dates for me, but at first, Nat didn't seem like such a bad guy? Like, not Prince Charming but just a regular dude? And Liri's mom, yeah, while I don't like what she does, I can understand why she does it, so she doesn't seem so bad either.

Aaaand then whammo bammo, them's the bad guys! Like, it comes mebbe a bit too out of the blue for me? It's like, I don't get creepy vibes before the big turd drops, I'm just like, ok, this is the new normal then?

Mebbe you could improve this by, umm... I dunno, make the intro a bit longer? Like, foreshadow it a bit more that Nat's rotten? And that Liri's mom is into some shady stuff vis-a-vis her daughter? I totally understand if you don't wanna do this, 'cuz I understand you wanna get into the thick of it fast, but... I dunno?

I guess another thing you could try is somehow make Nat more over-the-top? Kinda like, Liri is, "Hey mom what's up" and mom is like, "Hey darling, I arranged you a marvelllllous date!" and you go on the date and Nat's off the bat like, "I WANT TO POSSESS YOU AND YOU WILL GIVE BIRTH TO THIRTEEN SONS FOR ME." And Liri's like, get me outa here. Aaaand she goes back home, tells her mom, and mom is like, ok dear... and the next morning mom is like, "OH THIS NAT BOY IS SO NICE, I INVITED HIM OVER! YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A SECOND DATE IN, let's see, FIVE MINUTES! GET READY DEAR!"

I dunno, jus' some ideas! Take 'em or don't! But like I said, that's not such a big deal, so don't feel pressured to change anything if you don't feel like it!

2) The other thing I got in mind was Draven's intro. I don't mind this too much either, I mean I like him, he seems cool, plus inconsiderate hotheads with demonic power are always fun!

The thing I'm not too sure 'bout is how Draven and Liri form their contract? I mean, honey baby, this demon dude just burst into ya room, now he tellin' you to form a demonic contract and you just like, "ok, I guess I got no choice, let's roll". You just ran away from one creepster, now ya jumpin' into the arms of another?! NOOOOOO

Ahem. I mean, there's a couple of things you could tweak maybe? For me, please? Don't feel pressured tho, I'm accommodating! For one, maybe Draven could jus' trick Liri into doing it? Like he's all like, oh, I wanna eat this apple, baby you got a fruit knife? And then he TOTALLY ACCIDENTALLY bumps into Liri and makes her cut her hand and then he's like, oh baby lemme bandage that up for ya BAM YOU'RE BOUND TO ME NOW, FOOL!

Oooor, maybe you could introduce Draven a lot earlier? Like, there could be this random dude, a new servant that mom hired, and he's just hanging around. And if you talk to him he's just like, "oh I'm nooooobody." But HE SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO GO ANYWHERE? And when Liri flees Natty Natster into her room, that weirdo servant is there, and he's like, hey Liri, I know a way out, BUT FIRST YOU HAFTA CUT YOUR PALM.

And she's like wut? Well I'm crazy, it seems, might as well do it. And then the servant sheds his mortal form and reveals himself to be Draven!

Uuummm... sorry 'bout the long rant! I got carried away. Anyway, I think yo game has a lot of promise, and even tho it doesn't look like the kind of game I'm usually interested in, just look how into the story I suddenly got!

I made some revisions to some of the scenes you suggested. After reading through your post I get the angle you were coming from, especially Draven's intro. They may not be one-for-one of the ideas you suggested but I apply some of your suggestions. : )

 

[alice_gristle]

@KazukiT sounds cool, sweetie! I'll give it another go when I got the time!

 

[KazukiT]

bump

 

[KazukiT]

bump

 

[KazukiT]

bump

 

[Kato-A]

I was going to download it because there is a demon and I like them.
but realized the file is quite large to be a demo.
Why is it so big? You have not deleted the music files that come by default and you haven't used?

 

[KazukiT]

I was going to download it because there is a demon and I like them.
but realized the file is quite large to be a demo.
Why is it so big? You have not deleted the music files that come by default and you haven't used?

Deleting the RTP music is one of the first things I do when making my projects. It's probably because there are a lot of songs in the games and some of them are not used in the demo. Not sure which ones though. I also have a lot of pictures and a custom Picture-Based Menu. My games usually average around 400 to 500 Megabytes.

 

[KazukiT]

bump