FREE Playtesters and Writers Needed to Enhance the English Gaming Experience of an...Unusual Game

orochi2k

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The Game: https://forums.rpgmakerweb.com/index.php?threads/neolithic-to-the-end-public-beta-is-here.134148/
As one of the last RMXP games that are ever being developed, I'm not exactly aiming to make it to be something great. (or even sane.)
Instead, it needs to be unique and fun in a way that people can rarely see nowadays, to make people can laugh maniacally even in a grimdark world where both the in-game world and the life circle of RMXP are coming to an end. It can serve as a monument of the past.

The Problem: According to Steam backend data and feedback from a few non-Chinese players, it leads to a conclusion that non-Chinese players are unable to enjoy the game as much as Chinese players do.
The playtime chart is a big "U" with non-Chinese players mostly on the left side while Chinese players on the right side. The localization/storytelling may be a major issue here.

The Goal: it is to try to make the English version of the game can be as much enjoyable as the Chinese version.
However, ironically, I spent at least 3 times more effort in English than in Chinese in this game. I'm not quite sure how much I can improve from my end in a short period of time.
Thus, it seems more external help is needed to solve this issue effectively.

All the localization text files of the game can be opened and modified with Notepad or other similar software. (The English localization is about 30k words right now.)

The game's latest version is up to date in the Steam demo. Thus, it's available to everyone to download. (Alternative art style branches have some delay in updating.)

Let me know if anyone is interested.
Or simply just post any feedback/suggestions of the English version of the game here.
I will try to address them as soon as possible as long as my capability allows.
 

Wavelength

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I'll approve this (slightly unorthodox) recruitment thread, but I highly recommend posting one or two paragraphs' worth of in-game English text, so that people who might be interested can get an idea of whether they will be able to improve it!
 

orochi2k

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Yes, that will certainly help.
So, here are 2 English localization files.
One is an in-game document describing a supernatural threat in a 3D printing store.
Another is a few dialogues that take place in a police station.

Content warning before download:
Unfortunately, it will have to contain a certain amount of spoil of the stories.
It also has strong languages, political, and religious references.
 

Attachments

  • English_FileUPEU0337.txt
    3.3 KB · Views: 7
  • Story_M14_QS_PoliceStation.txt
    14.4 KB · Views: 3

HankB

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EDIT: woops, my cat jumped on me and I accidentally posted while typing. Ha!
 

orochi2k

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:kaoswt2: But, you used the word "almost". Thus, it indicates a lot of room to improve.
I'd be interested to learn more.
 

lubu15

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Dang, I am on a MAC and can't try out the demo :(
That being said, I had a look over the intro text in the steam home page for this.

While a little nitpicky I did come up with a few edits that I picked up on

"Congratulations! You've found this secret game on Steam.
Now, will you forfeit a chance to try out the demo?
Will you dislike a game even its free demo update quite frequently?"

Could change to

"Congratulations! You've found a secret game on Steam
Now, will you give up your chance to give it a try?"

With a demo that is updated frequently, what's not to like?"

Thoughts on the change
So in English, the original text to me comes across as a bit too sales orientated. Its difficult to explain, but people can smell a sales pitch a mile away and usually when they do, it can actually have the opposite effect of what you intend. When I first read it my thoughts were "hmmm what's the catch why are they trying to sell this so hard

So to make it sound less salesy I removed the wording this secret game to a secret game to imply that there are a bunch of secret games on steam and this is just one of them (more believable and more likely to trigger that feeling of reward you are going for)

In terms of the "Now will you forfeit a chance to try out the demo?"
This sounded a bit too, formal. So I changed it to"Now will you give up your chance to give it a try?" as it feels more inviting and a bit more casual.

Finally, I removed the line "will you dislike a game even its free demo update quite frequently?"
This one came across as the biggest detractor, we wouldn't try sell products like this I don't think (I was a field salesman selling electricity for 9 months) so I removed most of it but kept the info about the demo being updated frequently

That bit was really good

But you want to use definite language. When we say things like "quite frequently" I picked up hesitation in there. As a consumer, I want to know if its being updated or not. If I sense that there is a hint of indecisiveness in that promise, I'll not commit. So its best to put a solid promise there even if you end up not updating the game frequently

This is all just how I feel looking at it at first glance. I can go through more if you like/if you find this helpful.

By the way. AMAZING job on the game. From what I can see and read about it, it looks pretty fascinating. Big props for how far you have come with it :)
 
Last edited:

lubu15

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Just a couple of other quick fix-ups (grammatically)

This may be the weirdest fever dream you can ever have.Life is full of absurdity
Change to
This may be the weirdest fever dream you've ever had. Life is full of absurdity


It's a modern-day, supernatural, open-world RPG, with lots of freedom, character customization, pet, firearms, and magic.
Made with almost all the old RPG Maker software fusion together and a customized DirectX-based rendering system.
Change to
It's a modern-day, supernatural, open-world RPG, with lots of freedom, character customization, pets, firearms, and magic.
Made with almost all the old RPG Maker software fused together and a customized DirectX-based rendering system.

As one of the first and last RMXP games thats ever being developed, I'm not exactly aiming to make it to be something great. (or even sane.)
change to
As one of the first and last RMXP games that's ever being developed, I'm not exactly aiming to make it something great. (or even sane.)

Instead, it needs to be unique and fun in a way that people can rarely see nowadays, to make people can laugh maniacally even in a grimdark world where both the in-game world and the life circle of RMXP are coming to an end.
change to
Instead, it needs to be unique and fun in a way that people can rarely see nowadays, to make people laugh maniacally even in a grimdark world where both the in-game world and the life circle of RMXP are coming to an end.
 

orochi2k

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Thank you so much! It's very helpful.
I will implement those changes immediately when I get onto my computer.
 

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