Plot and Character Feedback

[light487]

Spoiler

Waterworld

A world that consists completely of water with no land, well at least to begin with. There are continents that have been created from different things where:

Low-Tech People: Some places are mere shanties and raft-like places that drift with the currents (though in the game they probably would be stationary for the map funcationality purposes), these places would have makeshift huts and essentially very low tech but ingenious ways of living. These people love their way of life and they are more into shamanism and the spiritual side of things. They know about the other people who live in high-tech places and while they are not unfriendly towards them, they don't really care for them either.

High-Tech People: Then you have the more high-tech places that may have been built from old ships that once sailed the great ocean, using metal and steam for power. While everything still needs to be light on mass/weight for floatation purposes, the idea is that these people are well off by comparison to the other 'tribe-like' people living on the rafts. There's a kind of class system involved here where the high-tech, steampunk people look down on the shanty people and so on. They are more about science and mechanics and their lifestyle doesn't really have the time for spiritual things.

The idea is that there is some kind of Atlantis (ie. sunken world) that hasn't been seen for 100's of years.. at least long enough that no one remembers there being such a thing called "land" and it's only in stories and myths that have been passed down through the generations that any knowledge of such a thing existed at one time in the planet's history. Things change when a small amount of land is discovered one day (whether the ocean bed is rising due to seismic activity or the ocean is falling due to polar ice caps becoming larger is something that will need to worked out). And of course this is where the story begins...
This is an idea for a game I had today.. it's probably been done before.. but I like the premise of it.. what do you think?

 

[BlackRoseMii]

@Parrot Keeper:

I like this idea! It's great and even if it would be done before, you can still add some kind of personal touch in it. The thing I like most is, that usually Steampunk themed games have more focus on land and even underground cities, but having a complete water world is great, too! I would imagine that there might be some kind of spirits living in a underwater temple where something went wrong, causing the land to come back and such.

And also: Maps purely made of water or underwater would be very beautiful!

Now, to my game idea:

Spoiler

I thought about it a while ago, but I'd really love to make a fangame of an anime. I even decided on an anime already: Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica. I have a few ideas already and are just about to start, but I want to make it with VX Ace and I can't buy it yet. But unfortunatly it doesn't seem like people would be even interested in this game, because of its "magical girl" theme. (But those who know this anime, know, that this anime is everything but happy-go-lucky)
Setting:

This game would take place after the anime has ended, so you'd have to fight demons instead of witches. Four of the existing anime characters are included as well.

Plot:

The game would start with a dream, where you can chose your class and your design. After that you wake up and the first annoying character appears: your sidekick. (Some kind of kyubey thing, for those who know the anime.)

The protagonist has forgotten all her memories and won't get them back before the end.

The game would be more quest-like instead of having an easy-to-follow plot and there will also be more than three additional characters so you can chose your own team. The only plot that would be is:

that 7 of your teammates will fall into despair and turn into boss enemies. Those would be themed after the 7 deadly sins. At the end, it turns out, that your sidekick plotted something evil with you (I'm still not sure what exactly) and you yourself will turn into the endboss after regaining your memories, that your sidekick sealed away to make you into an even stronger demon. In that case you would play another character.

Characters:

I already have all of the designs the player can chose, as well as two additional characters. And of course the characters from the anime


Well, that's all that I have now, but I really fear that it won't interest people and I can't even get any resources to even start the project TT.TT

What do you all think about this?

 

[StrawberrySmiles]

So uhhh, scratch my last two ideas.

This is the story I've chosen for my side-project.

----

An upbeat Elf girl, always eager to help others, joins the Mercenary's Guild. She believes others will accept her aid by being in such an organization. She doesn't understand how a real Mercenary operates, however - doing anything to get the job done, to obtain their payment. She'll be called "too soft" by the others, and either must prove she's got what it takes or she will end up changing their own hearts about being a Mercenary.

The game's main protagonist is Mirnie Quill, a cheerful young lady eager to do her first job. The game, for now will focus on her first job - which will either be obtaining an ingredient to help a sickly person or defeating a tough monster that's been terrorizing the village she lives in. It may be the last idea. XD

I feel for now it's okay, but if I want to expand it later, it could be quite difficult to make it much deeper. o.o 

 

[ZoroarX]

Hi there everyone, this is ZoroarX here.

Well, in my Project called "Heroes RPG - Rise of Elite Shadow" I'm creating Elite Shadow Headquarters, and this guy on the roof is the 3rd Administrator:

While I was making the game I was thinking about his name. Then I'm asking this for everyone:

What name would you give to him?

You can't give these names because I already used them: Kai, Tyson, Jin, Kyuto, Spenser, H, Ernest and Matt.

 

[Lucine]

@ZoroarX

What kind of person is he? That might help with the naming process.

 

[West Mains]

@ZoroarX

What kind of person is he? That might help with the naming process.

How about what kind of people were his parents?

 

[ZoroarX]

What kind of person is he? That might help with the naming process.

He was supposed to be one of the most evil people in the Elite Shadow, but he saw his mistakes of 4 years ago and changed his attitude, he's still a Elite Shadow Admin but he doesn't attack you right after seeing you, like the 2 other Admins, even if his boss tells him to do this. I mean, the reason they attack you right away is because their boss already knows that you always try to disturb their plans to create "A new world".

Summarizing, he was supposed to be an evil person, but he always had a good side.

 

[Lucine]

@ZoroarX

Here are some names I found that fit his personality:

Emmet-truth

Nilo-justice

Timon-honorable

Alex-strength

Acel-noble

Albert-noble, bright, famous

Hope that helps!

If you need more, don't be afraid to ask!

 

[ZoroarX]

@ZoroarX

Here are some names I found that fit his personality:

Emmet-truth

Nilo-justice

Timon-honorable

Alex-strength

Acel-noble

Albert-noble, bright, famous

Hope that helps!

If you need more, don't be afraid to ask!

Thank you, I'll seee those names + the suggested (by other person) name Darron.

 

[WaspOrdoc]

I would Love to get Insight on my story!:

20 year old Anthony Rune has awoken in a strange place. A bed that is not his own... or is it?
Little does Anthony know that he is in his grandfather's old castle and estate that he only vaguely remembers from his youth. He must explore the horrors that he has repressed from his childhood and gain the memories that are not only his but of his deceased family members in a series of puzzles and memory sequences. In this exciting RPG horror, you as the player will help anthony through a castle that while old, has modern touches such as electricity and running water but such things don't matter when a home is abandoned for 10 years! While uncovering Anthony's memories you will also uncover the fates of your dear cousins Wendy and Kevin, your dear old Grandma Mary and your Wicked Grandfather Louis.

 

[Clord]

I would Love to get Insight on my story!:


20 year old Anthony Rune has awoken in a strange place. A bed that is not his own... or is it?

Little does Anthony know that he is in his grandfather's old castle and estate that he only vaguely remembers from his youth. He must explore the horrors that he has repressed from his childhood and gain the memories that are not only his but of his deceased family members in a series of puzzles and memory sequences. In this exciting RPG horror, you as the player will help anthony through a castle that while old, has modern touches such as electricity and running water but such things don't matter when a home is abandoned for 10 years! While uncovering Anthony's memories you will also uncover the fates of your dear cousins Wendy and Kevin, your dear old Grandma Mary and your Wicked Grandfather Louis.
That sounded more like store page advertisement. Your story sounds very much like Amnesia the Dark Descent in the beginning and then it started to sound like more original plot. Definitely interesting plot you have there.

 

[bloodlust305]

Hello here the plot of the game I'm making

Dimensional dilemma​

A teenage male gamer named Joshua is chosen to save the Dimensional plane of games he play such as final fantasy and legend of zelda. although his goals are set to save the dimensional plane from a mad warlord named Luther, he own personal goal is to save his brother who is being used to revive Luther's master. with along with companions that will be joining him, and his new powers within him, can he stop this new threat and save his brother and the dimensional plane?

ya bad summary i know but trust me when i say it will be good because this game lets you interact with your favorite charecters from some of these games.

im just worried a little bit about any lawsuit that will go against me, I mean I will do copyright and this game will be free so there won't be any of those buyable product law.

if anyone knows about these law and if theres more to them then that please let me know, otherwise please review my plot

 

[LVNeptune]

It's been over a decade since I've done any stories but here's my idea I want to do a game on:

Nimbus Falls​

 ​

Intro: It's a floating cloud city with a giant (maybe giant?) waterfall in the center named by the people of Nimbus, "Nimbus Falls." The people have lived there as far back as their recorded history. They are unaware of the planet below them or its inhabitants. One day the water stops flowing from the waterfall and the city goes into chaos. Eventually it crashes into the world.

It is learned that the inhabitants of what I will refer to as "Earth" (...name will be changed in the future) have created machines that mine an element recently discovered called Koranthium-tek, or Kortek for short. It was discovered that the element could provide an endless power source. They are unable to harness the power with the element while in the Earth for some unknown reason so they start extracting it. The people of Earth are unaware of the floating city or that it draws its power from the Kortek. Unintentionally causing the (almost) destruction of the "Floating City." The crashing of Nimbus coupled with the enormous power of the Kortek opened a ripple in space and time and released monsters across the world.

The main character basically goes across the world in search of something that can restore the Kortek, close the ripple, and get Nimbus back in the sky.

This is kind of all I have right now...Suggestions, comments? Too far fetched, clichéd? I would like to add in some time travel as well I was thinking maybe the monsters were released to different points in time with "portals"

 

[Dosidicus_gigas]

Well, here's my current plot idea (God only knows how long I'll stick with it.  For reference, I like to call myself an Altoholic when I play MMOs).  It is admittedly a bit fuzzy near the end.

The game mostly revolves around three characters.  Kyle, Joseph, and Erina.  As the game advances, the player experiences numerous chapters, which alternate with regards to timeframe.  Half the chapters are about the childhood of those three, with the other half being about their adult lives.  This is mostly inspired by some striking resemblances I noticed between various faces in terms of hair color and eye color.  The overall plot is split in two due to this.

The ~Youth~ time frame mostly revolves around meeting people and realizing that the world is facing an apocalypse.  The ~Adulthood~ time frame will focus on the characters re-meeting old friends, being re-convinced that the end of the world is in fact coming, and their efforts to stop Armageddon (the last thing hopefully comprising the majority of the second half of the game).

As for the apocalypse plot line,

Spoiler

someone (I'm not sure what his background should be yet. Does his hatred of existence come from studying the history of mankind of from personal experience?) decides that life is not worth living and begins the path to non-existence for the entire world.  This character finds allies among certain dark powers, which help him become a Darklord (see VX ace battler) powerful enough to bring about the end of the world.  During the ~Youth~ time frame, the player encounters and eventually (apparently) defeats the Darklord.  In truth he was not stopped, something Joseph realized immediately.  Since no one else agreed with him and his actions became increasingly insane (by those who didn't understand), he became a bandit chief so he could spend all of his time keeping an eye out for the Darklord's return.  Eventually the player joins up with Joseph (simultaneously branding themselves as bandits) and they hunt down the Darklord's elites the Elemental Dooms, eventually finding the Darklord just as he attains the power to render everything non-existant.

 Queue Final Boss Battle.
This is, of course, a very rough draft of the plot.  

Obviously, I'll need some kind of script to keep the inventories of the two time frames separate.

 

[Korimax]

[SIZE=10pt]Discovered this topic so I figured I should see what people think of my story. However it’s long so, I put it into spoiler branches separating the world I am thinking of the Characters and a possible plot. I am hopeing keyword hopeing, that I get at least somewhat positive feedback but I am open to critisism.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]I also hope to god, none of it is awfully cliché.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

Spoiler

[SIZE=10pt]World[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Country stuff [/SIZE]


[SIZE=10pt]The world of this game is the western hemisphere on a planet with no name, (It has no name because I never really thought I would need one.) the area is known as Entir, it consists of 5 Kingdoms: Alcor Kingdom, Tsal Empire, Grutz Kingdom, Yahara Kingdom, and the Ciyla Kingdom. Of all of these kingdoms one is dominant the Tsal Empire, its main goal is have nearly full control of Entir, to do this Tsal would have to take Alcor and Yahara the second higher Kingdoms, the lowest kingdoms Grutz and Ciyla are neutral in this affair, although it will ultimately affect them as well.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Alcor Is the main kingdom the characters start off in,  [/SIZE]and is on the verge of war with Tsal (Tsal, trying to find excuses to start war, so soldiers will enlist or have an excuse for a draft).

[SIZE=10pt]Tsal Empire is the last kingdom the characters will ever visit, its right next to Alcor, and the Outlands.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Yahara is a desert kingdom their icon, the Queen of Yahara, is a very prestigious ruler; the kingdom’s main industries are trade.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Grutz is rather a war kingdom itself, its military is barely beatable by Tsal’s; its main attraction is the coliseum, where fighters pit themselves against each other for the title of champion.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Ciyla is like Switzerland, Neutral in every way, and absolutely will not enter a war it can avoid. They have a pretty standard economy built around Agriculture.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]The Wildlands are in between the kingdoms of Alcor and Grutz, it’s basically an outlaw land, where the law is survival, because here anything goes. It’s full of thieves and murderers, there are soldiers but they fight for the cause of keeping the Wildlands from other countries. The place is rather in ruin though most of its resources come from pirates pillaging villages from other countries.[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Other [/SIZE]

Spoiler

[SIZE=10pt]The World is highly reliant on magic, which is an ability bestowed on a gifted few by gifted few I mean out of that whole hemisphere there are probably only 10,000 mages, and about 1/39 of them are even close to being masters of the arts.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]There are 5 kinds of magic in this world Black, Blue, White, Green, and Blood Magic. Each magic having their own special abilities. Like Final Fantasy, Black magic is offensive magic spells, White is Defensive/Supportive Spells, Green is Status/Supportive Spells, and Blue are Enemy Spells. Blood Magic is the rarest kind of gift but is also seen as dark, it runs on the endurance of the body (Spells cost HP). It’s rather a mix of all of the magic but is instead costing HP. The second Rarest gift is probably Red Magic since someone with this gift has the capability to learn both White and Black Magic. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Another thing is the races of the world are split into 5 races: Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Faeries, and Namuh.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Humans being the dominant race slowly began to push the other races to declination in their own population so they were forced to remote areas. Dwarves were forced into the largest Mountain Path in Grutz, Elves were to harbor themselves on the isle of Yggdrasil, and the Faeries were to live in Faerie spring, except for a select few faeries.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]The Namuh were a special case, they were dark demons capable of blending in society and are run by 6 heads, and most Namuh aren’t intelligent enough for human speech so they remain silent. However the stronger ones have two abilities one they can speak so they blend in easier and the other is that once stronger the Namuh realize they can feed off of an aspect of the human soul aka Faith, Apathy, War, Despair, Sin, and Hope. There are more aspects but these are the ones that the 6 main Namuh feed off of, their names are Kir, Sylvia, Andi, Vivi, Syn, and Zacariah.[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Characters (The ones I have right now) [/SIZE]

Spoiler

[SIZE=10pt]Wolf: The protagonist of the story but he isn’t that whole “I will save the world” hero, he is more or less the one who is doing it to avoid boredom, and because he gets more or less pushed in that direction. He is somewhat of a Night Owl, and he loves to party, he hates boring things, boring people, and anyone who he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know them and he doesn’t want to.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Cynthia: Wolf’s best friend throughout his Childhood in Littlewood, She is the mayor’s daughter; she lost her mother when she was very young and like her mother she has magical abilities. However unlike her mother who was a White Mage, She is a Blood Mage.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Zach: A scholar who seeks more and more Knowledge, he comes from Arcana a city of magic, no matter how intellectual he does come off as a bit dull or as Wolf would put it “boring as hell”. (I was thinking of the name Zacariah, but I chose that name for a different character.)[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Abel: A Paladin serving the King of Alcor he is trained not only in Spearman ship but also in the Arts of White Magic. However he is a bit over the top, supporting the Goddess Trila (Main deity of the Game) and the path of Righteousness.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Sheali: Seer type character, I haven’t figured on what kind of character she will be except for that she will be the source of most plot twists and revelations as she can see the future. Of course she won’t reveal it all because, that ruins the game.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Aaron: All I know so far is that she will be an amnesiac you will meet in forest and that later in the game along with Cynthia; Wolf will be able to marry them. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]P[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt]lot [/SIZE]

Spoiler

[SIZE=10pt]First I would like to say any of it would be a suprise but unfortunately you reach a point where it becomes pretty obvious.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt]Basically your Wolf, you are on your way to Cynthia’s there you get an idea to kill a monster in the cave south of there, you get kicked out after killing it for taking Cynthia with you. But she comes along you head to the port you meet Zach investigate some ruined ghost haunted fort thing, and then head back to the Port where you depart and receive a lot of plot back-story stuff from Zach about how Tsal is threatening war on Alcor, unless it agrees to their demands (which of course are ridiculous). Then you arrive in Grolit the Capital of Alcor (Thinking of a better name).  [/SIZE]Then you decide to do, by this point this game becomes less linear because you can choose to either become a Soldier in the army, or join a Mercenary agency either way it leads to Cynthia being trained to be a Blood Mage and eventually leads you to a certain point. You are teleported away meet Sheali, the Aaron you then head on this grand quest of collecting some stuff for a ritual of some kind (Not sure on specifics here). Then you go and get help from all of the races except the Namuh. When you do you are then pushed to assassinate the Current King of Tsal, After defeating the king learning he was one of the Namuh, your mission is to destroy 3 more of the Namuh since if you destroy 4 of the 6 they will have lost over half their strength making them less of a threat.

[SIZE=10pt]Obviously other things happen but that’s as short of a plot summary as I can think of right now.[/SIZE][SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

[SIZE=10pt][/SIZE]

 

[SVGK]

In the ocean of the unnamed as of now world, there is a large island called Amavelies surrounded by gales strong enough to cut the skin, by whirlpools large and common enough to tear down a castle if it were there and storms violent enough to send the finest ships off course into the deadly tempests, you woke up on the beach there with your young daughter and the dead body of your wife.....

That was roughly 40 years ago, you are Shekrai, a once famous assassin and also pretty good holy mage, now making a living with your daughter as demon hunters, the king of the underground city has learned of your past and hired you to bring down a necromancer raising an undead army......

he doesn't mind you being 83 years old.

With your daughter Netellie, Xeros, a blood mage who the king gave you to help on the mission, and Gimbly the dwarven warrior (you can s****** if you like).

If you need anything else i can tell you.

 

[Clareain_Christopher]

@FortheloveofPie
Interesting story so far. I'm a little worried about Sheali creating plot contrivance with her abilities, but that shouldn't be too hard to work around. Don't worry about cliches too much. Having common tropes can help the player connect to the game a lot easier.
 
--
 
So I've been playing around with a new concept for a game. Here's a character that we'll name Dahollow. 

Many archmages find a limit to their power. There are ways to remedy this soft-cap of knowledge, but the easiest method is to polymorph yourself into a wolf, and temporarily lose your humanity.
In this world, canines have many unique talents that humanoids cannot learn. The more powerful breeds are well known for being extremely gifted in spell casting, and being abnormally smart. 
The Polymorph spell was taught by one of the elder wolves. She would work with humanoids in hopes to turn human herself. She ultimately got what she wanted, and the knowledge to turn into a canine was now common magic for many mages.
 
The problem is that turning into the respective species, learning that species' magic, and turning back into their normal self is extremely hard. The only canine who really mastered this ability was the elder and a certain "puppy", while only three humans managed not to lose themselves in their "experiment."
 
One of the three fortunate humans is Dahollow. He's an elder who communicates by telepathy, or writing notes of universal language; both spells are common among canine mages. Unfortunately, while Dahollow regained his humanity (all of the knowledge he learned before turning into a canine,) he cannot turn back permanently.
 
 
Here's a small sketch of what he could look like as a human. I'll draw something better in the future.

Spoiler

The puppy in front of him is one of the more powerful wolves who mastered the art of Polymorph. Her appearance is an illusion to how powerful and...scary she is.

So there's a bit of political intrigue among the canines and humanoids. One of the more influential members is Dahollow, and the player will be doing quests for him. If he ever joins the party, Dahollow would be DPS that starts off at a *very* high level. If the player was ever to fight him, they could expect a very hard end-game battle. And that's not considering any guards he has.

So yeah, I'm just brain storming. I'll probably write some more here in the future.

 
.

 

[SVGK]

Clarleain Christopher

Thats..... incredible, how the hell do you draw these things?, they look hand drawn but...... i doubt you can put images like that in i printer backwards....... i like the whole concept altogether though, other than my own real life hatred towards dogs.

 

[Randommerade]

Here's the plot of Fanta Zed (title subject to change). I would love to get feedback on it =)

Fanta Zed

Spoiler

It is sometime in the near future. As you already know, humanity has started with humble beginnings, then prospered into the most complex species of all time. We have fought through many disease, plagues, natural disaster, terrorist attacks, and more struggles. However, the struggle of the zombie apocalypse was too much to handle for humanity. With zombies brought raiders, betrayal, hatred, society's collaspe, and so many more struggles... just a few months into the apocalypse, humanity was entirely wiped out.
With the disappearance of homo sapiens came the magical creatures. They have always been in hiding for their fear of humans was strong, but now that all humans were gone they no longer needed to. There's just one problem: humans have left behind a giant mess. Their dead walking corpses roam the world, as does the daily need to survive.

Ciara, a shapeshifter, has hope that one day, the apocalypse will end, zombies will be gone, and magical creatures will take over the world that humans once ruled, and live peacefully. Unfortunately, that day is far away, so she meets and groups with other survivors, and looks for a place to live. It's not much, but it's a start.

 

[Clareain_Christopher]

@SVGK
Thanks, dude.   
It's sorta hand drawn. I use a tablet to draw my lineart.


@Randommerade
Pretty interesting so far. I would love to see some characters, if there's anything you want to show of 'em.