Plot and Character Feedback

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Kes

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@ JaggedJaw  I just want to remind you of Rule One of this particular forum

1) Discussion should be general, not project-specific.
While you're welcome to use your project as an example, please try to keep the conversation broad. Feedback that's only specific to your project should be posted in your project thread. If it's too early in planning to have a project thread, you can use the Plot and Character Feedback thread.
I am, therefore, going to be merging this with Plot and Character Feedback.
 
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Sinweaver

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First time developers here, but I am all ears when it comes to criticism and suggestions. 

If I causes any form of distress because you find something ridiculous in my post, I would like to apologize in advance.

I purchased RMVX ACE around 2 months ago in order to realize my rpg making hobby. All I have done so far is explore what I can, and what I can't do, as well as trying to pick up a bit of programming and find ways to create event by helping out in random threads. Since the world for my (so-called) dream RPG is pretty vast, and I am building it on my own, I figure I should gather some experience by creating little side-story mini games (which relates to the main story) for my big project. By the time I finish with all my side story mini games, I should have finished mapping the whole world.

About the main game and the features included:

Class System

Everyone starts off as Novice, with the option to pick one of the four starting class during the tutorial. The Novice class is simply a placeholder and is basically useless. I wanted to skip this step and let the player choose right off the bat, but Yanfly's class system remembers your starting class and you can't remove it from the list of available classes. So if Actor 1 is a Soldier, and the player picked the Acolyte as his/her starting class, he/she would have access to both Acolyte and Soldier class. If you pick Soldier as your starting class, you will only have that one class till you unlock other classes in the game.

The four official starter classes are Warrior, Thief, Acolyte, and Archer. Using Yanfly's class unlock script, the player can unlock additional classes by leveling up the right classes. For example, once the Warrior class reaches level 30, the player would have access to the Knight class. Each class maintain a separate leveling system. Player can equip one class as his/her primary class and one subclass, and will receive different benefit depending on which class the player equip as subclass. 

Classes are separated into 3 official tiers. Starting classes are in tier 1, intermediate classes are in tier 2, and specialized classes are in tier 3. The difference between the different tier includes: stat growth, maximum stat, better skills. Specialized classes (tier 3 classes) are only available as primary class, so you cannot have 2 tier 3 classes equipped at the same time. 

Every actor have access to all 4 starter classes, however they will need to have a special item acquired from dungeons, world bosses, or some other means. If the player already have the item, all they need to do is to select which actor they want to use it on and which class to unlock. 

The player can change classes anytime they want through the Class option in the menu.

Skills

Each class comes with a list of common skill they acquire as they level up. The skill tree system simply enhances the base skill or provide skills exclusive to individual talent trees. For example, if the thief puts a specialization point in "Poison mastery", then the thief's attack have a chance to apply poison on the target. Player will have access to the base skill from their sub-class, but will not receive the additional benefits from talent tree, nor will they have access to skills obtained from talent tree. Just my way of preventing the creation of a class that can do it all.

Every x amount of level up, you will receive 1 SP to be spent on talent tree. Talent tree can be reset by looking for the skill trainer NPC. Most classes have around 2 talent trees to choose from and players are not limited to only 1 talent tree at a time. How you want to build your character is up to you.

One thing I always keep in mind when designing skill is that I have to give a good reason to why such skill is needed. No matter how creative the mechanic is, the players simply won't use them if they are useless.

Enemies

The enemy level in the open world will grow in relation to the party level, however they also have a level cap in place. The cap does not apply to world bosses and dungeons. The world bosses are set to the highest level of battler in the party. Dungeon mobs are set to the average level of party member.

I am doing my best to try and keep the fight engaging by having systems like enemy reinforcements, chain battles, timed battles, etc.

Currency

The currency used in the game is gold. They can be obtained from doing quests, dungeon chests, bosses, and specific type of monster. Non-humanoid monster will not give gold. What are the odds of running into Wild Boars carrying around a pouch gold? o_O

I have included trade posts that players can visit to purchase things at random prices. Then they can bring it to another village and try to sell them for a better price.

Gold will be used in crafting, purchases, staying at inns, bribing NPC(?), etc.

Equipment

They can be crafted, purchased, obtained from treasure chests or bosses. They are also randomized, each with their unique stats. You can pretty much guess the benefit from the prefix and suffix. There will also be unique legendary equipment that cannot be crafted or obtained through regular means. You must have certain amount of reputation before you will even get any clues about its location. Sometimes the region will be blocked off altogether if you did not fulfill certain criteria. The tricky thing to find that balance between the reward and the effort required in order to obtain it.

Reputation

There are factions and various towns and villages in the world. You earn reputation with the towns' people by engaging in conversation with certain NPC, run errands, and do repeatable quests. Decisions you make may or may not have impact on your standing with certain factions/towns. I have chosen to not display the amount of reputation players have with each factions/towns. I can see how this can be very frustrating, but I personally dislike using a chart to display how well liked you are. I want the NPC to be more than just "that event" on the map. Players should be putting in the effort to build a good relation with the NPC for the sake of helping them instead of trying to fill some reputation meter.

Benefits includes access to better quality trade post items, crafting materials, etc.

Having good reputation does not mean that players can affect the decisions of kings and what they do. Players will just have to deal with changes as they go.

Crafting system

Raw materials can be processed to obtain materials needed for crafting. Crafting profession includes blacksmith, armor smith, and alchemy. Crafted equipment may have randomized stats as well. Each area has their own crafting level. Higher level means that player will have access to better equipment. 

Raw materials can be purchased, obtained from the world, treasure chests, dungeon bosses, dungeon mobs, world bosses, quest reward, etc.

This system is just here for those who prefers to make things for themselves instead of running through dungeons. The downside to this method is that the materials (some of them) are not so easily obtainable, or the materials spawning spot has long cooldown, or it is an RNG based drop rate system.

Companions

Additional companions on your journey may be unlocked through different methods. Some may only require you to pay them for their service, some may offer to assist you because you happen to help them while they are in a pinch, some are faction related, etc. 

I try to avoid having different "tier" adventurer because players tend to only use the best actors in their battle pt. Companions vary slightly from each other. Some may have skill unique to that particular companion, or they may have different talent tree. Or they are better in general when it comes to stats.

Other features includes:

  • Quest Log: to keep track of quests and quest information.
  • Bestiary: to keep track of monsters the player has defeated, their base stats, drops, etc.
  • Guild system: reserve party member are treated as they are just wandering around in the job center or some tavern till you request that thy join your active battler party. This can be done by speaking to the guild NPC. Something similar to an adventurer's guild.
  • Choice system that affected how the story will unfold. I have read the discussion on choices that have an impact on the world and how much work is needed. I experienced this first hand while creating my first side story to my big project (3 main choices and I am already faced with 8 different scenarios. This is probably going to rise up to 16 different routes if I don't plan my 4th major switch carefully.)
  • Time system: Some areas are only accessible at certain time of the year, while other places may only be accessed on certain time of the day. I am thinking of making bosses that only available at certain time too.
  • Gathering nodes (mining and herbology) that will despawn after player gathered from them. These nodes/plants will respawn after certain period of time.
  • Turn based battle instead of active time battle. I tried to use Yami's ATB system, but it breaks too many other things that I want to implement.

About the side story.

Let me put in some context. 

This particular side story takes place some time(loosely defined, cant exactly decide how long) after the main story begin. The hero and his two travelling companion received a request from the ruler of the land to investigate a group of people that is suspected of dabbling in some dangerous forbidden magic of some sort. Not much detail is given because not much is known about the group itself. The only thing that we know are the existence of such group of people, the suspected location of their hideout, and how much time we have to investigate.

This is the map of the land and the area enclosed within the red circle is where this particular story will take place.

2rze3r4.jpg


(you have to excuse my poor story telling skill from this point on. I am really not used to telling fantasy tales or coming up with one that doesnt sound cheesy and lame)

The giant tree is the center of life and magic for the land. It's roots stretches deep and far across the land, and magic flows freely to and from the Great Tree itself. Since this great amount of magic collected in one place may fall into the wrong hand and to be used for the wrong purpose, a group of priests, druids, archmagus and paladins have been guarding it and keeping an eye out for anyone who might be trying to tap into the power of the tree for their own purpose. 

Recently there has been signs of corruption within the Great Tree. This can only be caused by dark magic that might have been set loose (intentionally or unintentionally) into the stream of magic that travels through the root of the Great Tree. Through the process of elimination, the Guardians of the Great Tree have been able to narrow it down to one region to the south western side of the tree. This news is only kept in between the King and the protectors of the tree, and to prevent the information from leaking out and cause disturbance (public disturbance or unintentionally alerting the culprit), the player is requested to investigate the region in question. How the player chose to investigate is left for the player to decide. They can gather companions, seek out the help from the guardians, level up, etc. or they can try focus on looking for the hideout and eliminating the threat, or they can even switch sides and help the culprit achieve their goal. 

The side story are simply fragments of the main storyline. They will share many features of the main game. You can consider these side story game as mini games of some sort.

The goal of having these side stories is to experiment with different combat system and mechanics.

I have set a time limit for how long each side story can be played before before certain (bad) event happen. Such as the antagonists found a way to tap into dark powers which made them pretty much invincible and make the game unbeatable. What I have in mind was that the players are given 5 days, each day is 72 minutes long in real time, to stop the antagonists from achieving their goal (or to switch side and help them achieve their goals). The timer doesn't have to start right away. I am thinking that it might be nice to let the player search around for a bit before being notified of the timer, the timer can start then. Once the 72 x 5 = 360 minutes (6 hours) are over, then the game is pretty much unbeatable (or I am just going to call the game over screen). The players can use the 6 hours doing whatever they want in the world; level up and unlock new classes, gather companions, exploring, etc. 

There are a few questions which I am unable to answer myself.

  • As a reader, what do you think of the side story? I am mentally prepared to hear some harsh criticism since this is my first project, so please don't go easy on me.
  • What improvements could be made? Again, please speak your mind, I can take criticisms.  BD
The rest of these question probably fit game mechanics design thread better, but I will just include it here in the mean time till I finalize the plot.

  • Since the side story is pretty short, and I have many classes (around 4 starting classes, 6 intermediate classes and around 6-7 specialized classes), should I condense this a little and create a smaller and more manageable class tree? Or maybe I can just lower the mount of EXP required to level up so that the players can level up faster and unlock the classes they want/need? I was going to make it so that classes shares the same level as character, but my talent tree system kinda disagrees with me. 
  • What do people think of the skill system? Each class has their own base skills, and the purpose of the talent tree is to enhance / augment the effect of certain skill, provides passive states, or to give access to specialized skill that is only available if you have equipped the class in your primary skill slot.
  • Opinion on the system in general. This part is probably impossible for myself to answer since I know what I want (well, mostly), but I don't know how people will react to what I am about to make.
I am aware that I borrowed aspects from existing game that people might find annoying such as the reputation and repeatable quests, but I hope my purpose/goal justifies the use of such system. Of course I am willing to listen to/use a better system.
 

redscores

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First time developers here, but I am all ears when it comes to criticism and suggestions. 

If I causes any form of distress because you find something ridiculous in my post, I would like to apologize in advance.

I purchased RMVX ACE around 2 months ago in order to realize my rpg making hobby. All I have done so far is explore what I can, and what I can't do, as well as trying to pick up a bit of programming and find ways to create event by helping out in random threads. Since the world for my (so-called) dream RPG is pretty vast, and I am building it on my own, I figure I should gather some experience by creating little side-story mini games (which relates to the main story) for my big project. By the time I finish with all my side story mini games, I should have finished mapping the whole world.

About the main game and the features included:

Class System

Everyone starts off as Novice, with the option to pick one of the four starting class during the tutorial. The Novice class is simply a placeholder and is basically useless. I wanted to skip this step and let the player choose right off the bat, but Yanfly's class system remembers your starting class and you can't remove it from the list of available classes. So if Actor 1 is a Soldier, and the player picked the Acolyte as his/her starting class, he/she would have access to both Acolyte and Soldier class. If you pick Soldier as your starting class, you will only have that one class till you unlock other classes in the game.

The four official starter classes are Warrior, Thief, Acolyte, and Archer. Using Yanfly's class unlock script, the player can unlock additional classes by leveling up the right classes. For example, once the Warrior class reaches level 30, the player would have access to the Knight class. Each class maintain a separate leveling system. Player can equip one class as his/her primary class and one subclass, and will receive different benefit depending on which class the player equip as subclass. 

Classes are separated into 3 official tiers. Starting classes are in tier 1, intermediate classes are in tier 2, and specialized classes are in tier 3. The difference between the different tier includes: stat growth, maximum stat, better skills. Specialized classes (tier 3 classes) are only available as primary class, so you cannot have 2 tier 3 classes equipped at the same time. 

Every actor have access to all 4 starter classes, however they will need to have a special item acquired from dungeons, world bosses, or some other means. If the player already have the item, all they need to do is to select which actor they want to use it on and which class to unlock. 

The player can change classes anytime they want through the Class option in the menu.

Skills

Each class comes with a list of common skill they acquire as they level up. The skill tree system simply enhances the base skill or provide skills exclusive to individual talent trees. For example, if the thief puts a specialization point in "Poison mastery", then the thief's attack have a chance to apply poison on the target. Player will have access to the base skill from their sub-class, but will not receive the additional benefits from talent tree, nor will they have access to skills obtained from talent tree. Just my way of preventing the creation of a class that can do it all.

Every x amount of level up, you will receive 1 SP to be spent on talent tree. Talent tree can be reset by looking for the skill trainer NPC. Most classes have around 2 talent trees to choose from and players are not limited to only 1 talent tree at a time. How you want to build your character is up to you.

One thing I always keep in mind when designing skill is that I have to give a good reason to why such skill is needed. No matter how creative the mechanic is, the players simply won't use them if they are useless.

Enemies

The enemy level in the open world will grow in relation to the party level, however they also have a level cap in place. The cap does not apply to world bosses and dungeons. The world bosses are set to the highest level of battler in the party. Dungeon mobs are set to the average level of party member.

I am doing my best to try and keep the fight engaging by having systems like enemy reinforcements, chain battles, timed battles, etc.

Currency

The currency used in the game is gold. They can be obtained from doing quests, dungeon chests, bosses, and specific type of monster. Non-humanoid monster will not give gold. What are the odds of running into Wild Boars carrying around a pouch gold? o_O

I have included trade posts that players can visit to purchase things at random prices. Then they can bring it to another village and try to sell them for a better price.

Gold will be used in crafting, purchases, staying at inns, bribing NPC(?), etc.

Equipment

They can be crafted, purchased, obtained from treasure chests or bosses. They are also randomized, each with their unique stats. You can pretty much guess the benefit from the prefix and suffix. There will also be unique legendary equipment that cannot be crafted or obtained through regular means. You must have certain amount of reputation before you will even get any clues about its location. Sometimes the region will be blocked off altogether if you did not fulfill certain criteria. The tricky thing to find that balance between the reward and the effort required in order to obtain it.

Reputation

There are factions and various towns and villages in the world. You earn reputation with the towns' people by engaging in conversation with certain NPC, run errands, and do repeatable quests. Decisions you make may or may not have impact on your standing with certain factions/towns. I have chosen to not display the amount of reputation players have with each factions/towns. I can see how this can be very frustrating, but I personally dislike using a chart to display how well liked you are. I want the NPC to be more than just "that event" on the map. Players should be putting in the effort to build a good relation with the NPC for the sake of helping them instead of trying to fill some reputation meter.

Benefits includes access to better quality trade post items, crafting materials, etc.

Having good reputation does not mean that players can affect the decisions of kings and what they do. Players will just have to deal with changes as they go.

Crafting system

Raw materials can be processed to obtain materials needed for crafting. Crafting profession includes blacksmith, armor smith, and alchemy. Crafted equipment may have randomized stats as well. Each area has their own crafting level. Higher level means that player will have access to better equipment. 

Raw materials can be purchased, obtained from the world, treasure chests, dungeon bosses, dungeon mobs, world bosses, quest reward, etc.

This system is just here for those who prefers to make things for themselves instead of running through dungeons. The downside to this method is that the materials (some of them) are not so easily obtainable, or the materials spawning spot has long cooldown, or it is an RNG based drop rate system.

Companions

Additional companions on your journey may be unlocked through different methods. Some may only require you to pay them for their service, some may offer to assist you because you happen to help them while they are in a pinch, some are faction related, etc. 

I try to avoid having different "tier" adventurer because players tend to only use the best actors in their battle pt. Companions vary slightly from each other. Some may have skill unique to that particular companion, or they may have different talent tree. Or they are better in general when it comes to stats.

Other features includes:

  • Quest Log: to keep track of quests and quest information.
  • Bestiary: to keep track of monsters the player has defeated, their base stats, drops, etc.
  • Guild system: reserve party member are treated as they are just wandering around in the job center or some tavern till you request that thy join your active battler party. This can be done by speaking to the guild NPC. Something similar to an adventurer's guild.
  • Choice system that affected how the story will unfold. I have read the discussion on choices that have an impact on the world and how much work is needed. I experienced this first hand while creating my first side story to my big project (3 main choices and I am already faced with 8 different scenarios. This is probably going to rise up to 16 different routes if I don't plan my 4th major switch carefully.)
  • Time system: Some areas are only accessible at certain time of the year, while other places may only be accessed on certain time of the day. I am thinking of making bosses that only available at certain time too.
  • Gathering nodes (mining and herbology) that will despawn after player gathered from them. These nodes/plants will respawn after certain period of time.
  • Turn based battle instead of active time battle. I tried to use Yami's ATB system, but it breaks too many other things that I want to implement.
About the side story.

Let me put in some context. 

This particular side story takes place some time(loosely defined, cant exactly decide how long) after the main story begin. The hero and his two travelling companion received a request from the ruler of the land to investigate a group of people that is suspected of dabbling in some dangerous forbidden magic of some sort. Not much detail is given because not much is known about the group itself. The only thing that we know are the existence of such group of people, the suspected location of their hideout, and how much time we have to investigate.

This is the map of the land and the area enclosed within the red circle is where this particular story will take place.

2rze3r4.jpg


(you have to excuse my poor story telling skill from this point on. I am really not used to telling fantasy tales or coming up with one that doesnt sound cheesy and lame)

The giant tree is the center of life and magic for the land. It's roots stretches deep and far across the land, and magic flows freely to and from the Great Tree itself. Since this great amount of magic collected in one place may fall into the wrong hand and to be used for the wrong purpose, a group of priests, druids, archmagus and paladins have been guarding it and keeping an eye out for anyone who might be trying to tap into the power of the tree for their own purpose. 

Recently there has been signs of corruption within the Great Tree. This can only be caused by dark magic that might have been set loose (intentionally or unintentionally) into the stream of magic that travels through the root of the Great Tree. Through the process of elimination, the Guardians of the Great Tree have been able to narrow it down to one region to the south western side of the tree. This news is only kept in between the King and the protectors of the tree, and to prevent the information from leaking out and cause disturbance (public disturbance or unintentionally alerting the culprit), the player is requested to investigate the region in question. How the player chose to investigate is left for the player to decide. They can gather companions, seek out the help from the guardians, level up, etc. or they can try focus on looking for the hideout and eliminating the threat, or they can even switch sides and help the culprit achieve their goal. 

The side story are simply fragments of the main storyline. They will share many features of the main game. You can consider these side story game as mini games of some sort.

The goal of having these side stories is to experiment with different combat system and mechanics.

I have set a time limit for how long each side story can be played before before certain (bad) event happen. Such as the antagonists found a way to tap into dark powers which made them pretty much invincible and make the game unbeatable. What I have in mind was that the players are given 5 days, each day is 72 minutes long in real time, to stop the antagonists from achieving their goal (or to switch side and help them achieve their goals). The timer doesn't have to start right away. I am thinking that it might be nice to let the player search around for a bit before being notified of the timer, the timer can start then. Once the 72 x 5 = 360 minutes (6 hours) are over, then the game is pretty much unbeatable (or I am just going to call the game over screen). The players can use the 6 hours doing whatever they want in the world; level up and unlock new classes, gather companions, exploring, etc. 

There are a few questions which I am unable to answer myself.

  • As a reader, what do you think of the side story? I am mentally prepared to hear some harsh criticism since this is my first project, so please don't go easy on me.
  • What improvements could be made? Again, please speak your mind, I can take criticisms.  BD
The rest of these question probably fit game mechanics design thread better, but I will just include it here in the mean time till I finalize the plot.

  • Since the side story is pretty short, and I have many classes (around 4 starting classes, 6 intermediate classes and around 6-7 specialized classes), should I condense this a little and create a smaller and more manageable class tree? Or maybe I can just lower the mount of EXP required to level up so that the players can level up faster and unlock the classes they want/need? I was going to make it so that classes shares the same level as character, but my talent tree system kinda disagrees with me. 
  • What do people think of the skill system? Each class has their own base skills, and the purpose of the talent tree is to enhance / augment the effect of certain skill, provides passive states, or to give access to specialized skill that is only available if you have equipped the class in your primary skill slot.
  • Opinion on the system in general. This part is probably impossible for myself to answer since I know what I want (well, mostly), but I don't know how people will react to what I am about to make.
I am aware that I borrowed aspects from existing game that people might find annoying such as the reputation and repeatable quests, but I hope my purpose/goal justifies the use of such system. Of course I am willing to listen to/use a better system.

Hello, Sinweaver.

Firstly, thanks for the opportunity to provide criticsm to your project.

To your questions:

Nr 1.: What do I think of the side story?

I think this kind of side story is not really required and seems a bit superfluous. The problem is the blandness of it, every second RPG has a story with people dabbling in forbidden Magic... Gothic Parts, Skyrim, Final Fantasy (nearly every game) etc.

Nr 2.:

I would encourage you to make a longer main story and insert side quest tidbits where you can do stuff like unlocking special classes, find interesting treasure and such... those could be even made into small side quests. The advantage here is that you can have a high diversity of content through small effort and the players will love it because you can drop tidbits of background story (maybe even character moments) into those side quests + motivation through loot and such.

Nr 3.: See my second answer.

Nr 4.: I like class based skill systems and most people I know too, but it always depends on the uniqueness of classes, take Bravely Default as an example, every single class is unique, has a own mechanic and own style and provides more and more freedom to customize through your slottable abilities. It always depends on how well you design classes. I would always encourage interesting skill combos.

For example, there could be a alchemist who can cause the debuff "Oiled", which would slow enemies and then he can throw an explosive tincture and set the enemy aflame, this is of course an smaller example. There are many ways to make a class unique, just look at the Dark Knight from bravely default or the Knight, who can later in the game deal damage based on his defense.

Nr 5.: My number 4 covers this.
 

Sinweaver

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Thank you for the swift and honest feedback.

The side story is for a separate game from the main story, unless there is some misunderstanding on my part.

The purpose of the side story, excluding for my experimental purpose, is for the player to experience bits of the main game, which is separate from this side story game. 

I am aware of the blandness, I am kinda stuck there and not sure where/how to improve it.

As for your answer to question 4, that is what I am intending to do.

Talent tree provides:

  • specialized skill that is not available unless you equipped the class as your primary class
  • passive states, whose presence will be checked when performing certain skill. The presence/absence of the state will affect the outcome of the skill
  • passive buffs
  • etc.
 

redscores

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@redscores

Thank you for the swift and honest feedback.

The side story is for a separate game from the main story, unless there is some misunderstanding on my part.

The purpose of the side story, excluding for my experimental purpose, is for the player to experience bits of the main game, which is separate from this side story game. 

I am aware of the blandness, I am kinda stuck there and not sure where/how to improve it.

As for your answer to question 4, that is what I am intending to do.

Talent tree provides:

  • specialized skill that is not available unless you equipped the class as your primary class
  • passive states, whose presence will be checked when performing certain skill. The presence/absence of the state will affect the outcome of the skill
  • passive buffs
  • etc.
Regarding the blandness of the side story, how about giving the player a insight on the far past of the main character? Or maybe include a time jump in the main game.

As in...

You just did a great quest

"2 Years later"

and then you implement those 2 years in between as the side story?

Or you do a character quest for one of the side characters, for example a deed that has to be done by one of the group, something that troubles them.
 

Black Noise

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My story's a science fiction saga that mixes hard science space opera with elements of dystopian, cyberpunk and mysticism

in a widespread galaxy.

It basically focuses on a young man named "Noah Horosha" who has become a host to an alien artefact called a "Garbha" which grants him psychic powers.

As a result, he is abducted by a mysterious group along with his friends as leverage to force him to work for them. However they make an miraculous escape from their captors but scatter across the galaxy and so Noah seeks to reunite with them while adapting to his new powers.

As I was working on the prologue over the last couple of years, it grew into a full-fledged story that serves as my series' first entry and this is what this post is mainly about.

Warning! This is a really long synopsis.

Any comments I write about my plot will be highlighted in italics.

Part 1

The story focuses on one of the main characters Chaya Vanyesh, a 14-year girl and host to a Garbha (These hosts are referred to as "Orphans") trained in captivity by a secret organisation called CABAL for as long as she could remember. She is mute and can only communicate with the staff responsible for managing her training and well-being, led by Joachim Nuwid who has fostered a father-daughter relationship with her, through written messages. However it later turns out she can telepathically speak with other Orphans. Other than that, she specializes in Astral Projection.
One day, the research facility she is captive in is suddenly attacked by a rival party called LOKAPALA, sending her stranded on the planet Eden, home planet of the Eden Alliance, one of the galaxy's ruling superpowers. On the coast of Malkuth City, the Alliance's capital city, Chaya collapses, breaking her ankles, some of her ribs and her fingers, to the planet’s strong gravity but is found and rescued by paramedics to a local hospital. Although her body is unconscious, Chaya's disembodied spirit follows them all the way, witnessing her first glimpse of human society along the way. Due to her unfamiliarity with the outside world, during an emergency operation in the hospital to repair her broken bones, Chaya assaults the surgical staff and tries to escape only to collapse again and is promptly sedated. Once she wakes up, the staff reassure her of her safety and convince her to cooperate with the staff in mending her body. Aware of her psychic powers, the staff swear to secrecy in order to prevent putting Chaya under stress from any unwanted attention.

This medical drama subplot wasn't originally part of the plot and I only recently started working on it since I figured this was a logical route to go since Chaya has been raised by a shadowy organisation since childhood and has never been outside the confines of the research facility so she's like a newborn baby overwhelmed by this new world around her or a fish out of water. Plus I felt the scene where she tries to escape was the best way to communicate that, by having her react to her new situation out of fear, as well as to bring home the fact she is adversely affected by a planet's gravity (since artificial gravity doesn't exist but ships and space stations use rotating sections that generate centrifugal force that are, at best, slightly weaker than Earth's gravity.

With this in mind, I feel I also should introduce a new character - a doctor who develops a close relationship with Chaya and from whom she learns about the outside world and its societal norms, even though I already had someone else in mind for that kind of role. You'll see later in a minute.

Part 2

While Chaya's body is bedridden, she wonders Malkuth City in her astral body to draw in this new environment around her. She observes the bustling activities on the streets, in the shops, business buildings, even a school attended by Noah Horosha, whom we also follow as our secondary protagonist. After school, Chaya follows him and his friends to a dorm where they all live which is owned by Noah’s mother, Sarah. Noah constantly helps her manage the place, as the man of the house, including cook for his school friends and clean house. He even has a part-time job in delivering newspapers to help support his mother.Does any of this sound the least bit plausible?

However in her astral body, Chaya lacks her physical sensations and is invisible to the naked so she can only view the world as if looking out through a window. She begins possessing the bodies of young girls around the city to emulate their daily activities or intervene in other events – for example, taking someone’s body to sample a meal she just been served, play with children in a playground, try out sports or shoo children away from bullying a defenseless dog or try to rescue some fish about to be butchered for dinner in a restaurant.

But because of her naivety and ignorance of social norms, awkward mishaps ensue as a result of her actions like not liking the dish she just ate and ordering something else only to find her host can’t afford both meals (or trying to taste other customers meals, which is even more awkward), her host gets stuck in some playground equipment only children can fit through, she completely sucks at sport (even though her host is normally adept at them), her host gets beaten up by the kids beating the dogs and she might comically stumble across kitchenware while trying to smuggle lobsters out, get caught and have her host fired! 

I'm open to ideas!  :D  
Part 3



Even at school, she possesses girls to try out the various after school activities but quickly the student body catch on that something unnatural is going on so she inadvertently scares them away from school, even Noah and his friends. In a desperate attempt to cheer them up, back at the dorm she tries to help them with their night activities and hobbies but, of course, that only scares them away so they abandon the dorm and split up to live at their homes while Noah and Sarah stays at one of his friends, Quawah Tohren.
Ridden with remorse, Chaya returns to her body which has rapidly adapted to Eden’s gravity, within a matter of weeks, much to the surprise of the hospital staff as they discover she has no nanomachines or any artificial organs (Oh yeah, in my setting, people rely on genetic engineering, cybernetic implants and powered exo-skeletons in order to adapt in space and planets of varying surface gravities by maintaining bone and muscle density, keeping them from atrophying. In Chaya’s case, her Garbha could heal her body faster than any technologies could).

Okay, the following bit here comes from the earlier version that didn't have the Hospital subplot.

However, she wonders the hospital in her astral form out of boredom and stumbles across a surgery in process. In panic, Chaya jumps to conclusions she is going to be forced into an operation so she telekinetically attacks the surgeon and, back in her body, tries to escape before she is sedated by the staff. At night, Chaya successfully escapes by possessing one of the staff to release herself from her harnesses to the bed and telekinetically tampering with the security cameras (having found a number of them as well as the security room during her perusal around the building).

The reason I'm considering to scrap this is because during her time in captivity, I reasoned that her administrator Joachim had provided her books about human culture when she was a child and, no doubt, one of those books would include details about how hospitals work. Plus I figured that once she found herself in the hospital, she'd think about checking the place out in her astral body before venturing out into the city and chances are, she might stumble into an operation already. So now that she already witnessed one about to be done on her, this explanation for how she gets out is completely void!

She goes on to steal a new set of clothes from a shop, leaving behind her hospital gown. The next day, Chaya wonders the city for the first time in her body, surrounded by hundreds of other people who can notice her – people a head shorter and stockier than her, being natives to the planet, other visitors like her sharing her tall and slender build but relying on their exo-skeleton suits to cope with the planets gravity and humanoid robots, remote drones controlled by tourists or citizens from the comforts of home or orbit, who cannot afford or prefer not to go to the surface themselves.

Part 4



Chaya comes across some of the women she possessed earlier with visible signs of the misfortune she put them through such as bruises left over the woman she used to protect the defenceless pet, the girl once working for the seafood restaurant is now a garbage disposal girl, etc. 
She is eventually harassed by little children in a playground who tug at her long hair until she is saved by Noah and Quawah who happen to be walking along this road together (The school was temporarily closed down as it was suspected of being haunted). When they check to see she’s alright (obviously unaware she is the “ghost” who driven them away from their dorm), she is reluctant to respond to them but eventually, with a notepad and pen Noah lends her, she gives them her name. But overwhelmed with being addressed by them face-to-face, she drops the pen and pad and runs off without warning.
Noah comes across her again later in the day, takes pity on her, lets her stay with him at Quawah’s for a while. The next day, Noah goes back to school which was been re-opened after it was reported that no more paranormal activity has occurred though a lesser number of students and teachers showed up anyway. After school, Noah meets up with Chaya again and they pass by the dorm which Noah tells has been haunted. At night, Chaya decides to take Noah out to the dorm, claiming to him that there are no such thing as ghosts and the dorm isn’t haunted. She manages to coerce him to stay the night with her there by threatening to stay by herself and snatching his cell phone and throwing away the battery. She even confiscates the home telephones in case he has the bright idea of phoning the police.

As they spend the night (No! Not like THAT!!!), Chaya discovers an old photo of Noah, his mother and his father with his face scribbled over. Noah tells her that his father abandoned his family out of obsession with researching the Arkan civilization, an advanced empire that once ruled the galaxy and mysteriously disappeared, noticing parts of her social naivety along the way such as her ignorance of divorce and family turmoil. Noah is finally convinced the dorm is no longer haunted and, days later, has convinced the rest of the friends to come back and to thank Chaya, they allow her to stay and get to know her. They ask her where she came from, considering she must’ve been on Eden long enough to be able to walk without an exo-suit so she makes up a lie about how she came to the planet and been separated from her “Daddy” (how she addressed Joachim). 

Although I haven’t thought up what.  >_>  

Part 5



During her stay with her new friends, Chaya helps Noah and his mother with managing the house as well as his part-time job, finding herself outperforming him due to her Garbha-enhanced physicality (she can run faster, she’s stronger and has quicker reflexes, etc.). During her friends’ study at school, Chaya is enlisted in a part-time job Noah’s mother does and also excels in it. 
One day, Chaya joins Noah and company for a festival that involves a huge bonfire (In case you’re wondering, this festival had something specific to celebrate but due to some changes I made to the setting, it’s pretty much in flux at the moment). She joins a communal dance around the bonfire, however in her excitement, her psychic power erupts the bonfire, spreading it around the festival grounds but luckily not harming anyone (Especially when Noah heroically saves a kid from some collapsing structures!)
Chaya is soon found by the hospital staff. She hides and begs her friends not to give her over, still under the impression she’s going to be cut open. Noah’s mother and the hospital staff settle her misunderstanding and the staff allow her to be released from their care. However, Noah, who is the only one suspicious that Chaya caused the wildfire and making connections between her behaviour and that of the young girls she possessed (i.e. excitedly trying out new things like a child and none of them spoke while they were being possessed), asks the staff if anything bizarre occurred during her stay.

He learns of how the security cameras stopped working when she escaped, how she couldn’t have seen any surgery happening either from her ward or while being processed to it since she was unconscious, as well as her body’s unnatural recovery without any technological aid.

This is how far I'v gotten in developing the first and second acts of the plot.

While I did come up with much of the third act, I haven't figured out how it all connects with Act 2 or how it all ends and sets the stage for

the main story (That of Noah becoming an Orphan and going on this dangerous intergalactic adventure to save his friends).

So this last part might feel jarring but here it is...

Part 6

Act 3 involves Noah finding a dormant Garbha while seeking after Chaya who has been retrieved by CABAL agents, among whom is Joachim who turns out to be Noah’s estranged father. When LOKAPALA show up and chase Noah and Chaya (who have the Garbha shard in hand), an Orphan agent of theirs shoots Noah at the top of a cliff. As he falls, Chaya jumps after him into the ocean and manages to drag him safely ashore. As Noah is dying, Chaya desperately feeds him the artefact (Yes, it's actually how it works... How does she know? That's a good question since I haven't figured that out yet) which heals his gunshot wound but knocks him unconscious.
He wakes up in hospital and is met by Chaya in her astral form, which he can now see since he is now host to the Garbha she fed him. She leads him out of the hospital as it is suddenly assaulted by LOKAPALA troops which he fends off with new telekinetic powers of his own and is rescued by Joachim driving a car where he sees Chaya herself. When they lose the bad guys and Joachim proposes to take Noah out of Eden, he knocks him out and forcefully takes Chaya with him back home.

As he discovers Chaya can telepathically communicate with him through skin-to-skin contact, he interrogates her over what happened to him and who the people chasing them are but he doesn’t tell her Joachim is his father. When they return to the dorm,  LOKAPALA is already waiting for them with their friends held hostage. Noah and Chaya surrender but so they knock them out, but not before amputating their right hands which each contain their Garbha shards – thus cutting off access to their powers. Except they discover when Noah's hand is severed, his gunshot wound reemerges, risking him bleeding to death so they consider letting him die before Chaya begs the Orphan agent she will work for them if they let him live. So they reattach his hand, healing his wound before knocking him out.

LOKAPALA proceeds to take Noah, Chaya and their friends up the Eden Spire (bypassing the security systems to make sure they don’t know they’re bringing prisoners with them) and board a flight aboard a “Jump Freighter”, a gigantic spaceship that ferries other commercial spaceships through hyperspace jump gates as only they can withstand the otherwise dangerous velocities of faster-than-light travel.

And this is how far I’ve gotten with Act 3.

I want the characters to make some kind of escape but scattering across the galaxy to set up Noah’s quest to find and rescue them. But I don’t know how it could plausibly happen? Anyway, thanks a lot for reading my synopsis and please give me some constructive feedback and ideas for me to work from. 
 
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LootHunter

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@Sinweaver

I have chosen to not display the amount of reputation players have with each factions/towns. I can see how this can be very frustrating, but I personally dislike using a chart to display how well liked you are. I want the NPC to be more than just "that event" on the map. Players should be putting in the effort to build a good relation with the NPC for the sake of helping them instead of trying to fill some reputation meter.
And how often you help someone (in real life or in game) just for the sake of helping? If you don't want to show reputation as a number, you at least should make some hints that attitude towards your hero changes. Like more polite greetings from NPC or lower prices in the shops.
 

Sinweaver

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@Sinweaver

And how often you help someone (in real life or in game) just for the sake of helping? If you don't want to show reputation as a number, you at least should make some hints that attitude towards your hero changes. Like more polite greetings from NPC or lower prices in the shops.
I suppose I wasnt being very clear about that.

Yes, the NPC will treat you differently. 

For example: 

NPC A is an elderly who is very knowledgeable. Knowing this, you visited him in order to obtain information about a certain legendary item/creature's whereabout. 

If your reputation with the village the NPC is affiliated with is below a certain value, the information you will get from him would be very brief and general. 

If you have build up enough reputation with the community, then he will provide you with more information about the location and maybe hints for things to watch out for. 

The way the NPC greets you is a good indicator about well they "thought" of you. 
 
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Metal Smith

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I posted a long while back, and stuff has changed etc, but I would like to take some time to type up and seek feedback on a story. It's hard to get the formatting right for indentations, so *'s denote major sections of story progression, and what is in between are just sections of plot points leading through it. Obviously I've got some work to do on the story, but the rough outline is there, and i'm filling in some details as well. There are also at least 2 more major characters I haven't included due to not having their descriptions quite finished yet, I'm still working on the main enemy. The political environment in the empire, forest and mountains are pretty well set, as well as their interactions, It's just trying to figure out details at this point.

I've started to work on some rough concept maps for the first section of the story, to help with writing and focusing on the story I'm trying to tell. 

A lot of the character names have finnish derivation thanks to a conversation I had with a friend, and the many similarities between the how the words are formed with vowel and consonant sounds and how japanese words are formed, making for many useful double meanings. 

Tell me whatcha think :p .
 
Characters:
 

Lazu Yopullo 

 
Name Origin: yopollo roughly comes from finnish, litterally Night owl. Lazu has a mixed meaning. Both from Lapis Lazuli, and also from the Finnish word for Bill, Lasku. Character name I originally used was Bill :p .
 
Young adult in a village deep in the woods, Lazu is an Herbologist by trade, and dedicates himself to observation and understanding of every aspect of the great woodlands around himself. Calm, and highly observant, Lazu is treated with respect in his village, and is often called the young sage. 
 
It is common for Lazu to maintain his calm but stern demeaner. His brow is commonly furled. He is hyper aware and observant of the world around him. Not one to take risk or play games, Lazu is often seen as an old man at heart. To match is personality, Lazu also takes an interest in Geology and archeology, often venturing into the foot hills of the mountains near his village to examine what is left of old roadways from a long forgotten era. 
 
Lazu's tribe has a mixture of hunters and gatherer's. There aren't specific gender rolls, rather, the village lives communally, with the old and wise acting as the elders to lead the village. Due to Lazu being perceived as 'old at heart', he is often giving great latitude to do as he pleases.
 
Lazu is roughly 5'10" tall, or 178 cm. His eyes and hair are brown. His hair is long, and often pulled back into a pony tail. He somewhat muscular, weighing in at 160 lbs. His people have high cheek bones and somewhat of a more pointed chin than the average person's. 

Prefers fruits and nuts, and is an expert at preparing herbal tea. His analytical nature tends to lead him away from specific phobias, but that overanalysis can be a fault at times. He has a childhood friend name Kana, who often accompanies him when he goes out for long excursions. As Kana is a hunter, she uses these instances to check traps and seek larger animals that often shy away from the village. This has led to Kana and Lazu sharing many misadventures, which Lazu has mixed feelings about. On the one hand, it helps him think on the fly. On the other hand, he must think on the fly.
 
Curls his hair around his finger as a nervous habbit.
 

Kana Oneli

Name Origin: Kana has mixed meanings. Wonder in japanese, and Chicken in Finnish. Oneli comes roughly from the finnish word for Happy.
 
 
Kana is impulsive and childish, much the opposite of Lazu. Despite this, she is also a very skilled hunter in the tribe, whom Lazu trusts with his life. Due to her impulsive nature, she is generally not allowed to wander too far from the village unsupervised, thus Lazu proves a useful excuse to meander further on occasion. This mutually beneficial deal allows her to explore and keep Lazu out of harms way. 
 
While generally seen as 'annoying' or 'bothersome', Kana has a good awareness of those around her, and knows when and where to draw the line. Light hearted and undaunted, her proficiency's once saved Lazu from a tight spot, and has earned his respect, despite the differences in their demeanor. Kana mutually respect's Lazu for his patience and intellect, and both get along quite well. 
 
Kana is 5'7", 120 lbs, and extremely dexterous. She specializes with the bow, but is also extremely proficient with daggers. She has long, light brown hair. Her eyes are hawkish, and brown as well. 
 

Sara Kehakku

 
Name Origin: The finnish word for Emerald inspired sara, which holds a double meaning in japanese, Farther. The last name is derived from the finnish word for the flower merigold, and holds a double meaning from the japanese words for "to place" and "Result".
 
Sara is a guardian of her island, isolated far into the ocean away from the main continent. There are not many resources on the island, so those trained in weapon handling are considered to be a higher cast than normal. The act of owning a sword is the highest honor, as weapons and materials are exceedingly rare here. Perceptive and confident, Sara often seeks to put her skills to the test. This makes her stubborn, but also quick on her feet. She prefers to perform her duties alone, as she believes others will only get in the way.
 
Sara is 5'9", and apprx 135 lbs. Living on the tropical island leaves her with a natural tan. She has short black hair, and carries herself with purpose and poise. She is constantly focused on her intent.
 

Visas Yopullo

Name Origin: Visas from the finnish word for Wise. Yopullo, see Lazu.
 
Visas Yopullo is the father of Lazu, and the face of the woods people. Due to the landscape, the empire cannot use their mounted troops in the mountains or forests, creating a natural barrier to their conquest of the other peoples of the continent. While the empire and the tribes of the snow peaked mountains often skirmish in the foots hills and fields bordering the two, The people of the forest rarely leave, doing so only to trade for supplies. They have the respect of the mountain men for their skills in craftsmanship and hunting, and are revered in the empire for their diplomatic skills. Considered a reasonable third party by all involved, Visas is currently in the empire brokering a peace package, allowing the men of the mountain produce from the farms in the foothills in exchange for metals, and an end to raiding from the mountains. 
 
Visas' great intellect, compassion and patience have made him the pride of the forest, and an individual of consequence in any continental discussion. 
 
Visas stands at 6'0", 190 lbs and is 57 years old. He often holds his face in a wizened scowl, also busy understanding the people around him. His hair is long and white, and he has silvery blue eyes.
 
 
 

*Introduction: Sara explores ruins, finds crystal

Sara, ever curious of the ruins deep in the jungles of the island on which she lives, discovers a hidden passage leading deep into the heart of the ruins. There she finds a magnificent crystal, floating on an alter with glyphs drawn around the room, focused on the 4 cardinal directions.
While examining one of these glyphs, an amulet she wears, set with a vibrant green crystal, reacts. After a brilliant flash of light, and a nauseating feeling of lightheadedness, she decides to backtrack out of the temple to find more information on the glyphs. However, something is different about the temple. The air is cooler, and less humid. As she backtracks, she notices that the hidden passage way leading to the alter is no longer underground, but in a cave. The cave, is in a deep forest in the side of a mountain. Where in the world is she?
*Lazu, Scholar of the wood

Enter Lazu, Scholar of the woodland people’s, despite his young age. A morning earthquake shakes the forest, with the source of the tremors apparently coming from the nearby mountains. Lazu is sent by the elders to appraise the situation.
Fateful meetings, Sara and Lazu in the ruins

Lazu walks through forest, heading to the mountains. Finds Sara on the ground, unconscious. Sliding marks on the hill. Checks if she is still alive, she is, puts together a herbal mixture to soothe the swollen bump on her head. Sets up camp for the evening. Sitting around fire, Sara wakes up, is alert, slightly dazed and confused still. They talk at length. In morning, set out for the alter room in the cave. While observing the ruins, Saphire set into Lazu’s staff reacts. Bright Light, dizziness and return to the island.
Sara returns, Lazu is missing.

Lazu and Sara start comparing experiences, and Lazu, using limited knowledge of ancient runes, comes up with a couple of ideas as to what has just happened. He makes note of the color of the stone in his staff and the crystal they now arrived at, as well as sara’s necklace and the green crystal in the jungle. Estimates a total of 5 possible places they could have gone. Not sure how long they have been gone though, so they leave. Lazu is unable to gain any bearings as the stars in the sky are completely different than what he is used to. It is night btw. They make camp in the ruins in a small enclosed room with a window and get some rest before setting out the next day for sara’s village. 


The legend of the crystals

After a little bit of a journey, they arrive in sara’s village, where sara has been gone for roughly 4 days, not uncommon by any means. What is uncommon is that she has returned home with a man, who is strange in appearance at that. Lazu is held essentially under house arrest while sara leaves to explain the circumstances to the village Elder.
While here, lazu spends a great deal of time trying to discern details about the culture and customs of his hosts. While avoiding direct questions, he asks seemingly harmless details about things such as where the food comes from when he is brought food, and closely observes customs relating to etiquette. He tries his best not to let this luke warm welcome make him feel bitter. Inquisitive and polite are the best ways to avoid appearing arrogant, obviously.

After eating dinner of different sea foods and  a paste made from something with a bread like thing, lazu is summoned to appear before the chieftain. When he arrives, he notes that sara is sitting to the right side of the chieftain, on the side, and that there are 2 people immediately next to the chieftain on either side.

After a short discussion about what has transpired from lazu’s perspective, and questions about his motivations, the chieftain is satisfied, as both stories more or less were in agreement. The chieftain then tells of the stories surrounding the ruins, possibly revealing a connection between the cave temple and the jungle temple, noting the similarities in language, but that there are differences as well. Notes that the existence of this connection ended many generations ago, and that only stories remain. Notes the dim light now in the gems that lazu and sara both posses, and postulating that neither can be used to go between temples any time soon, but that a pair of ruby earrings might return lazu to the mainland. Sara sits quietly, obviously annoyed that she isn’t being included in this discussion about returning to the temple. Lazu retires to his guest room after the lengthy discussion, with plans set for him to return in the morning. Of note, lazu is not forbidden from returning, but neither is he encouraged to.

In the morning, Lazu receives the earrings from the chieftain and is left to return to the temple with an escort from the village. Sara is nowhere to be seen. Slightly disheartened, Lazu leaves for the temple with his escort. When they arrive, the escorts leave Lazu to enter the temple on his own, and wait outside the ruins. Lazu makes his way into the temple and enters the crystal alter room. There he discovers Sara waiting for him. They each put on one of the earrings, and walk to the eastern glyph that they had not stood on yet. With a flash of light, they arrive at a much different room, in much better condition than the previous temples. 

*Return to the mainland / a sinister plot

They arrive at the fire temple, a holy site within the empire that holds dominion over much of the open plains of the mainland. The blue glyph that they appeared on was on a platform below the main alter. Not  sure where they have arrived at, they hide when they hear someone approaching. They overhear someone communicating with another person that cannot be seen. The second person not present seems to be talking through the crystals. They discuss the upcoming peace talks with the mountain tribes to the east, looking for ways to draw out the enemy fighters to crush them in an open field battle. When Lazu hears this, he realizes that Visas, his father, is who they plan on using to incite this battle. After the temple clears out, Lazu and co sneak out and make for the heart of the Empire to find Lazu's father, Visas. 


Heart of the empire

Visas, keeper of the peace.

Knight of political Intrigue

*Emissaries of Peace

Men of the mountains, Lords of the Tundra

Crystal in the Ice / Path less traveled

Spirit of the mountain / Enemy unmasked

*War council / Visas in peril / Rebellious Empire

End of Knight / An Army Hesitates / The Great Weapon

Infiltration of the Temple

*The Battle of Spirits / Visas’ sacrifice

The End of an Empire / The Humbled Empress

Shadow of the North / Comprehension Dawns

*Land of no Will

Confrontation with the Shadow

Epilogue: The Architech
 

Pyro21

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So, I've been tinkering with MV since day one, and wrapping my head around the little changes since Ace, but building it around a mushy slosh of random story idea. I haven't got any form of game, yet (and recently lost all of the files anyway, but no big loss), but now that I'm semi-comfortable with MV, I think I might make something out of this random story idea. Since getting MV, I've been jotting down ideas (both vague and in-depth), and now I'd like to bring some of those ideas to light, and get some critique on them. So, without further ado, let's have a look at:

Archangel

History:

Archangel is built around Christian religion, with many liberties taken to provide a semi-fresh story. If you are heavily religious, I advise that you take everything from this point on with an immensely minuscule grain of salt. Prior to creation, the universe was inhabited by a race of incredibly destructive beings. Due to their destructive nature, and their habitat, "void" has become their most common label. God and any being with the power to create has been incapable of creating anything that lasts within the canvas that is the universe. Anything that entered the universe was soon stripped away by voids, like termites on steroids.

God became annoyed that he could not create his vision, and set out to eliminate the threat of the voids. He began by finding a quieter area of the universe. The voids are powerful, but they still need time to get where they're going. Over the aeons, the voids have been drawn away from this empty spot, by all of the creations being placed in the surrounding expanse. Here would be where God could build his army.

He began with the archangels, some of the strongest creatures ever created by beings such as God, and he made a lot of them. They would be his generals. Each leading a large battalion of his next creation. With time still to spare, God got back to work, creating the angels. Though they weren't as powerful as the archangels, they would be the core of his army. His pawns, and his knights at the same time. They all had the strength to defeat voids, but the voids still excelled in numbers.

Before long, God ordered the archangels to lead their soldiers to war. Many were lost in the coming aeons, but God never gave up hope. His army succeeded in suppressing the voids, but not exterminating them. Regardless, they had retreated, and God was free to create his vision. Out of the one hundred archangels God had created, only eight remained. Michael, Gabriel, Raphael, Samael, Uriel, Zerachiel, Jophiel, and Lucifer.

See "Holy Bible" for more on what happened next.
Synopsis:

God has all but died. The more he creates, the more taxing his powers become. After setting Earth on a course that would, without a doubt, succeed in creating his vision, he chose to stop interfering. He would return to the universe every so often to see what his creations were up to but, ultimately, he played no role in what happened to them. Deciding that the angels were too kind for their own good, and not one to destroy what he had created, he sealed the exits of heaven so that they, also, may not interfere.

For many millennia, the humans succeeded (relatively) without the influence of God or his angels. He was proud of his work, and praised by many other beings, who had created their own visions in every corner of the universe, since the voids were no longer a threat. However, they aren't the dumbest creatures, though they may have seemed like it to any who experienced the war. For all this time, they had bided their time, waiting for the most opportune moment to destroy all that God, and his kin had created. But God and his army were too strong for them. Now, God is weakening, and his army are all but in another dimension. The time had come.

God, however, created an efficient fail-safe in the event that something did go wrong, or that he needed to interfere with Earth without tiring himself out. Each of the Archangels were connected by blood to families of humans, very close to the initial time of their creation. Eight bloodlines of millions now exist on Earth that can be directly contacted by the archangels with no effort of God's, except that he needs to flick the switch that keeps the connection severed.

The story follows eight guardians. Mick, Celia, Uel, Zeke, Raki, Jodie, Gabe, and Annie. Each are considered to have the strongest connection to the archangels they are connected to, out of all of their bloodlines. They are, most-definitely, human, but they have the advantage of the advice of the archangels. With that, they are more than capable of facing off against the voids. Though the archangels are in contact with many thousands upon thousands of humans all around the globe, whom all play a role in the war, the main eight never meet these people, or if they do, they don't know it. The main eight are expected to be the only ones who can put an end to the attack, so the first act involves putting the team together, mostly.
Setting:

The game will be set in the present, but in fictional places on Earth (as I'm not even near capable of recreating real places in an RPG Maker). Most of the areas the player will visit will be in ruin, so you might choose to call this a post-apocalyptic story. I am not entirely sure if I want to do this, but I've been tossing around the idea in my head that, on rare occasions, depending on the strength of a boss, the flow of time is affected, sending the party into the future or the past at points. Since, in the lore of my idea, the universe (and, by extension, time and space) is a pre-existing dimension, as opposed to a creation that the voids can destroy, this might not be seen in the final product.
Characters:

Note that these characters were made with RMMV character generator (with a few tweaks to hair colour). These are (hopefully) not the final product, and I hope to create custom graphics, and more modern designs for each character in the future.

Michael "Mick":

1_Mick.png

Archangel: Michael

Mick is a rather serious man. His duties come first. Furthermore, his duties are what he makes them. He is rather selfless, putting others before him, especially his friends and comrades. Against the orders of Michael, he often helps those who are in danger, even if it makes the difference between winning or losing the war, as long as he tried. Celia comes before anyone else, in his opinion. Being his oldest friend, and practically his sister, he would never prioritize anyone else. He is the player's character, and can be considered the leader of the group.
Lucille "Celia":

8_Celia.png

Archangel: Lucifer

Soft at heart, Celia is kind and caring to those who show her nothing but love or friendship. However, she is quick to anger, and occasionally takes jokes the wrong way, which is bad for you if you happen to be that one clown in her group of peers. She becomes conflicted when she learns that Lucifer is the archangel she is connected to, wondering if she is evil, or destined for bad things. Whether that's true or not is up to her, and her alone. She would do anything for Mick, even if it meant losing her life.
Samuel "Uel":

5_Uel.png

Archangel: Samael

Uel is a man of morals, but also rather obedient. Throughout the story, the archangels give the group orders that go against the morals of him, and some of the other members of the group. This can sometimes separate the group as one side disobeys the archangels' orders, and the other side continues on their path. Uel is one who continues on his path, but puts up no fight against those who choose differently. Even if he can't do something because it goes against his orders, at least he knows someone is doing it. Uel has a little girl whom he leaves behind in an attempt to keep her out of danger. He is also the weapons smith of the group, capable of using materials the group finds to create adequate equipment for them.
Ezekiel "Zeke":

6_Zeke.png

Archangel: Zerachiel

A military man, Zeke has the most combat experience out of any of the group. On top of that, he has been fighting the voids prior to the beginning of this story with his comrade, and fellow guardian, Jodie. Ironically, he's not one to take orders. As a result, he often doesn't care what Zerachiel has to say to him. Some wonder how he ever lasted in the military. He's an effective fighter, but he's also foolhardy, and headstrong. Even so, he does his best. Zeke is a unique party member in the game, along with Jodie, as he often comes in to fight with the team, but then disbands to do his own thing, only to show up later, whereas, the others will remain in the party after their guardian status is introduced.
Josephine "Jodie":

7_Jodie.png

Archangel: Jophiel

Zeke and Jodie haven't known each other long. When the voids attacked, and they learned of their roles in the war, is when they eventually met. Ever since, they have been almost inseparable. Jodie is rather strong, and intelligent, but sometimes comes off as an airhead. She often doesn't understand everything that isn't spelled out for her. She seems to take most things too literally, which is the main cause of her problem. Zeke is often seen communicating what is needed of her when she becomes confused. She cares a lot for Zeke, and vice-versa.
Raquel "Raki":

3_Raki.png

Archangel: Raphael

Raki is the kind of person who wants to make everybody happy. She's of a very serious nature, but knows how to have fun when she wants to. She is often quick to trust people who claim to be her allies, believing that Raphael would warn her if someone meant her harm. She is very protective of her allies, and at the same time, very protected by her allies. She is often underestimated, being the youngest of the group. She looks up to Celia as a role model.
Gavin "Gabe":

2_Gabe.png

Archangel: Gabriel

Somewhat selfish, Gabe is often doing whatever he thinks sounds good, and trying to avoid anything that doesn't fall into that category, which tends to be a problem when you're one of eight of the strongest soldiers in a war against a celestial race of destruction. He doesn't take too much very seriously, and as a result, is not taken very seriously by others. He jokes about too much for his own good, which causes conflict between him and Celia. When it comes down to business, he is actually a pretty effective fighter. He doesn't mess around too much on the battlefield.
Hannah "Annie":

4_Annie.png

Archangel: Uriel

Annie was never one for conflict. She hates any form of it, from people fighting, to going head-on with voids. This is mostly due to her being rather frail. She does her best to get stronger, but doesn't feel she is of much use to the team. The others do their best to make her feel she belongs. She can be quite timid, often in silence, unless spoken to. She seems to look up to Mick as a role model, or...
Gameplay:

Archangel will be your typical JRPG-style game, with gameplay elements of many beloved titles all influencing its own.

Battles:

There will only be three members in battle at a time, instead of the default four. Even though Mick is the player's character, he won't be locked into battle. Some party members may fight better if fighting alongside certain comrades.

Battles will be action turn-based, with decent pacing. Said battles will be triggered by visible enemies in the world, as opposed to random pop-ups after X steps. I've always liked this system, as it means the player can both avoid enemies, if they feel a fight is not necessary at that time, or rush into an enemy, if they want to fight for any reason (spoils, experience, fun, etc). That, combined with a pixel movement system, instead of a grid-based movement system, will increase the player's control and level of avoidance in the world. Enemies will be testing for the party's weaknesses at all times, and when they find it, they'll abuse the hell out of it. I mentioned that voids aren't just mindless creatures that nom on anything made of atoms, so it would make no sense if they hit you with an element that was strong against a character, and then never used that element again throughout the battle. Players don't do it, so why should celestial beings?
Skills:

The skill system won't be based on player levels, but items. Think of it like the materia system from Final Fantasy VIII. Voids will sometimes drop "Creation Artefacts" when defeated. These are orbs that have been produced in the stomachs of the voids by the things they eat. They come in the elements: Neutral, Fire, Ice, Electric, Water, Air, Rock, Light, and Dark (I know, I know...default boring RPG Maker elements). Special artefacts can be found that passively benefit a party member.

Creation Artefacts are equipable by the party, using slots on specific equipment (yay for originality). The equipment the party members can equip the artefacts is specially made for the task. They will be the equivalent of accessories in other RPGs, but on their own, will not give the equipped party member any stat or resistance bonuses. That's where the artefacts come in. Most artefacts give the party member that they're equipped on a skill (or skills. I'm contemplating adding a level-through-use system for the artefacts, where each level unlocks a new skill to be added to the party member's arsenal, along with the skill given by the previous level of that artefact).

The skills artefacts give will be dictated by a cooldown system. When a skill from an artefact is used, that artefact "overheats," causing it to be almost unusable for a number of turns. The length of time the cooldown lasts will be based on the strength of the skill used. During a cooldown period, you may still use the skills the artefact gives, but it will cost exceedingly more to use than if you used it outside of the cooldown period, and will also extend the cooldown period further.
Stats:

Party members will not have experience levels like in most RPGs. Instead, their stats will. Not each individual stat, but groups of stats. Instead of gaining a set number of experience from a battle after winning, experience will be gained based on your actions during battle. Think about the SaGa series, or Final Fantasy II, and that's the stat growth system you've got here, in a way (although I've heard FFII was hated for its stat growth system, due to how much grinding was necessary or something like that. Don't fret, I will do my best to balance it).

A character's stats will be separated into three groups of three:

Muscle - Strength (Attack), Speed (Agility), and Reaction (more or less, Luck. Increases chance of evading or blocking all kinds of attacks. Doesn't increase the Critical Rate, though)

Vitality - Health (guess), Energy (TP), and Endurance (Defense)

Willpower - Spirit (MP), Spritual Strength (Magic Attack), and Spiritual Endurance (Magic Defense)

Experience will be earned by each group of stats based on what happens during a battle. As I haven't fully developed this mechanic, here's a basic example of each group:

Muscle - Physically attack or use physical skills on an enemy. Also, by successfully evading or blocking any form of attack. Merely acting in a turn (not including guarding) will give small amounts of experience for this group, as well.

Vitality - Getting physically attacked gives the most experience for this group, but you can also gain experience by merely losing Health. Some skills might require health as a cost, and so count towards levelling up Vitality. Losing Energy will also give some experience to this group.

Willpower - Getting attacked by non-physical skills, or attacking with non-physical skills. Losing Spirit will also give some experience to this group.

Now comes the kicker. When a group grows in level, it doesn't increase all three stats within it. Instead, the player will be given an attribute point they can use to spend in that group on one of the three stats.

As a bit of a visual aide, the average of each party member's stats will be displayed as their "Overall Level," to help players determine if someone isn't leveling their groups enough in comparison to others, allowing them to determine if they should switch up their training focus a bit.

Elemental and State resistances will be affected similarly to stats, but will grow silently, and automatically. Being hit by a certain element will cause a character's resistance for that element to increase ever so slightly, and likewise for states. There will be a way to check these stats.

If you have any suggestions on how I may improve this system, or any changes you feel might be necessary, please let me know. This system is killing my brain, and implementing it isn't going to be any easier, so I could honestly use all the help I could get. Haha!
If you came this far, and read everything, I've gotta give you some mad props. Feel free to leave any critique you may have for my basic, wall-o-text-o, fetus of an idea.

Disclaimer: I'm not a prophet of the Lord. My story idea is not gospel, so please don't get offenderino'd, whether you are, or aren't religious. It's merely a fun, and fictional idea based around a pre-existing one, and some non-existing ones.
 
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MojoMikeFSU

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Hey RPG Makers,

 

I am very interested in creating an RPG Maker MV game as a side project for the next few months. I'm not looking to commercialize it in any way, just something fun to do for my friends and co-workers. While I know this may not be a big public/hit game I wanted to pass around my idea to see if anything had any cool ideas on what I could do to make it better.

 

I work in New Student Orientation at a University and we hire 10 Orientation Leaders (current students) every summer to introduce the freshman to campus over the summer before their fall semester. Every summer the team picks a theme to build programming around (videos/skits/games/etc) and last summer's theme was video games. It was a great summer, so I was hoping for the 1 year anniversary of it to make a customized adventure style game that relived some of those great moments. I am not looking to create a long or battle heavy game, just something adventure like , small puzzles, collect the items type stuff. It would be a modern day focus, almost earthbound like, with a college atmosphere. Not really any fantasy elements or magic.

 

My main idea revolves around the main character (Player 1) being a new student on his first day or orientation. He goes to register (name creation) and then through a series of events is tasked with finding the 10 orientation leaders on different areas of campus. I see this mainly being broken down into scenes, for example scene 1 might lead P1 to go to the library to find 2 of the leaders where we will solve a small puzzle to help them and then they will join the party and he will bring them back to the main building. The process repeats across a variety of school locales and meets a wide variety of campus characters including other new students, current students (seniors), greek students, "helicopter" parents, zombies, and a few other surprises along the way. The game will be mostly modern in style outside of the zombies so I wanted to do a lot of renaming of things to match our university. For example the typical "shop" might be our bookstore and the "gil" or money will be our on campus currency. There will probably be SOME battles along the way so i'm wondering how I should handle skills and magic. I was also thinking of how I should incorporate Majors/Fields of Study?

 

I have RPG Maker MV and can't wait to dive deep into the event scripting and planning, but I just wanted to share my idea in case any others had some cool things for what to add to a college campus themed game.

 

As far as resources, i know MV is new but has anyone seen any:

 

-great college/school based tile sets

-modern day college looking characters/clothes (shirts, jeans, polos, button downs, etc) the character generator seemed a little bit limited in it's non-fantasy options

 

So what do you think of my idea? 
 

LootHunter

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@MojoMikeFSU

game will be mostly modern in style outside of the zombies
Why do you think that zombies are not a "modern style" element? ;)

Seriously though. As I understand, you want to make a humor-emphasized adventure. In vein of "Ben there Dan that" or "Sam and Max". So you probably should look for such games for inspiration. As for modern day graphic resources, you can take them from VX Ace modern day DLC's.
 

Oddball

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This is more of a book idea, but here it is

Someone finds a way to upload a computer virus into peoples brains by the people connecting there brains directly to a computer to put there senses into some virtual reality
 

Bastrophian

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Hi :D ....just wanted to see what'chall thought of this story idea!

Story/Protagonist Synapses-

There is absolutely nothing even slightly remarkable about Dawns Cape Highschool student, Robert Campton. He just blends in with the wall paper. He spends his time just sitting around, quietly watching as his peers, and the days, and his life passes by….daydreaming. Daydreaming that he were special. Daydreaming that he had the strength of a giant, the cunning of thief, and the wisdom of a mystic. Daydreaming he had the power to mark the world any way he wished. For better or for worse. Theres nothing wrong with living in a world you made up in your head…right? But one day, Robert discovers his imaginings are more alive than he ever thought possible.

                The town of Dawns Cape is in turmoil over several recent disappearances and grisly murders committed by an individual labeled by the public as the Dawns Cape Nightmare. In a twist of fate, Robert stubbles upon an ancient secret that has loomed about the lake side town of Dawns Cape for centuries. With help from a group of bright minded peers with powerful imaginations, he must investigate the murders and the connection between the dream world and the real world, while a combating a nameless malevolence that has covered over both. Robert will travers through the turbulent cloud of dreams, searching for the answers…but is he prepared to confront the darkness of his own imagination and his greatest fear of all?
Features Im considering-

1) Traveling through a great verity of "day dreamworlds" unique to each inhabitant of Dawns Cape. (to complete side/quests and gather useful items) One inhabitant may have an imaginary world with a futuristic setting and another have a fantasy setting. The story would take place in Dawns Cape and through out these worlds.

2) a simple class/character customization system

...thinking of other stuff.
 
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Niten Ichi Ryu

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@professional swallow, I think this is interesting, kinda get a Stephen King feeling from this :)

It could be great if the heroes abilities would also be influenced by which Dreamworld they would visit. Probably would need some cosmetic changes depending on the Dreamworld.
 

SalicCrane

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This is a mind map that I made to keep track of my ideas. As you can see I have hit somewhat of a wall.
 

Marquise*

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IMPRESSIVE! Hope you pinned it on your wall board or something.
 

Eisenwain

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I like your mental map, i will try one myself
 
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Cybertrox

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INTRODUCTION

Hello world!
My name is Riri and I decided I wanted to flesh out an idea in the form of my first RPG Maker game. I started offwith getting a hang of the basics, and there are still things I am unclear on, but I am making steady progress. Iwill eventually update this post to make it more visually appealing, but this should suffice for now.
 

STORY (SPOILERS)
 

Genre: Fantasy, with some scenes pertaining to horror
A happy upbeat atmosphere, which can rapidly change at any time, really shaking up the player.


We set the scene 237 years after the Great War that separated the Landkeepers, Felicia/Aaron is our main protagonist and is a student. After the Queen's death many of her workers left, unwilling to work for the princess. You see this as a chance to get a job as a leading Royal Herbologist, much better than your current job as a pharmacy clerk. While studying with some friends you fall asleep, and wake in an unknown world. Bright lights illuminate the street and unusual carts roam quickly. You find this world is much like yours, as the resemblance of some people in this world is uncanny with the likes of others in your world. Seeing this world becomes a more frequent event, and it tends to help you in your life.

Endings:
Neutral:
You become a Royal Herbologist
 
Bad:
The princess dies due to illness, you are executed for treason,

since they believe you poisoned her.
 
Good:
You marry IXI (Name tbc) (Same sex marriages can occur, you can marry one of 4 characters.) And have children
 
True:
Your Mother ends the curse of duality, causing the breakdown of your world, subsequently leading to the breakdown of reality.
Characters

Felicia/Aaron: The main character who you usually play as, has a pretty plain personality, but plays well off other characters, and can be quite witty. Studies Herbology and is in their last year of school, while working part time in Janie's Pharmacy.

Janie:
The senile old lady who owns the pharmacy, kind to strangers, but strict to those she knows well. Everything Janie does is, however, for your best interest, even if it doesn't seem like that to begin with.

Avant, Gardia, Shyra, Jason:
The main character's best friends (Very little plot involvement, but I will add more character details soon)

Eden:
The Landkeeper of Life, she never speaks or interacts with anyone, but she can fight, and fight she does.The reason as to why she is silent is that she used to be a very honest and heart warming soul. However, one day a her friend tempted her to steal an orb from the Museum of Darkness, she decided to co-operate, as she decided it wasn't a valuable artifact. But Diabolis caught them stealing, and killed off Eden's friend to provoke her. 

It worked and Eden attacked Diabolis ruthlessly, but it did not help that Diabolis was many years older than her. In the end, just to survive, she had to sacrifice her voice to defeat him. Now she only sense people's spirits, and it is unknown whether she has any senses at all.
Diabolis:
The Landkeeper of Death, he is scheming and cruel, but has a particular interest in the main character, he pops up at the worsttimes and enjoys watching people die, sadistically.

Aviana:
The Landkeeper of the Clouds, and the connoisseur of bird speak, allowing her to interact with avian species. Sheis playful, but terrifying when a life she holds dear is in danger.

Wuxing:
The old man, the OLDEST man. He knows not of a joke, and takes his job as the Landkeeper of the Ground very seriously. Don't underestimate him.

Huo:
Hahahahaha!!!!
Riri let me write my own character profile!
So, practically I'm really extroverted ad I talk really fast,
what's that word, talkative? Yeah, talkative. I'm supposed to be
the Landkeeper of Fire but I like to sleep. And my advisers always
scold me, not scald me. I thought they were the same thing, but
they don't pour hot water on me. But I think they want to.
Ok bye,
Huo.

Mizui:
The Landkeepr of the Sea is the most calm collected woman ever. She stays clear-headed in moments of grave danger. She is wise, and surprisingly [someone who i haven't decided yet.] sister. (don't want to give away too much lol XD)

Inspiration:
The product of an idle mind (While being bored in class.)

There's no gameplay as of current, but that is subject to rapid

change!
 
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Esperia

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Hello guys, Been using RPG Maker engines for quite a while back ever since the 2k era, made lots of random projects since then that did never

get past even 10 maps lol... This time around RPG Maker MV has really scratched my interest seeing how good projects look in the engine, But

more than that It's just that now the idea of plugin use and configuring has been so far quite easy.

In other words I have been motivated to (for the first time) finish a project, So here's my current metal map of the history so far:

Story:



The story begins whit the protagonist being a human female abandoned at the age of around 7 years old on the streets of the
modern era in her home city (2015), Nearly starving to death and barely enduring the harsh cold of the pavement in the back

alleys of the city she faints believing her death was assured...

While she lies flat on a back alley a shadowy figure approaches her limp cold body and picks her, Years later she explains in a

flashback in her own head (like everyone remembers any event) how she was taken out of the city and sent to Niflheim (Norse myth)

to be raised and trained by queen Hild and her servants, Being now queen Hild's daughter both her blood and body are no

longer human as queen Hild plans to have her new daughter take part in a major event soon to come...

About 60 years have passed since our female protagonist became queen Hild's daughter, Now in year 2075 she is back to her

home world (the surface) to perform a series of tasks given by her mother and perhaps find a few answers... Niflheim is not a really

friendly place to raise a child, Let alone a human child at that... So... Our main character has a bit twisted (in a good or bad way)

personality...

Genre(s):



-Dark plot
-Serious or suggestive themes

-Multiple paths & endings

-Occasional fun and idiotic nonsense

Characters:



-Misha ~ Female protagonist
-Mei ~ Misha and Hild's daughter (I'm sure you know how this happened)

Rest of characters will be revealed when I have a intro demo ready, All characters will be enabled to be nameable by

the player at game start or when they first appear in the game.

Systems:



-Personal upgradeable villa via events and character quests
-Quest system (Gameus Plugin)

-Engine Enhancements (Yanfly's Core Engine, Message Core, Menu Manager, Victory Aftermath, Item Core, Region Restrictions)

-Splash Screen (PreTileEvents by himeworks)

-Level up events (Himeworks)

-Foreground like sun rays, etc. (By Sasuke KANNAZUKI)

-Save file extras (By AMUSEUM)

-Item rarity (By Cellicom)

-Crafting (By Julian 'Szyu' Heinen)

2015_11_14_23_41_42_834_4725.png

2015_11_15_0_36_23_873_242.png
 
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I want to learn Javascript to create a custom menu, but I don't really know where to start.
One uncomfortable truth that has withstood the test of time, is how most people will stand by while they see a crime happening, unless it's illegal to stand by. We probably wouldn't have stories about "special heroes" or games about heroes if the "everyday common folk" were largely capable of being heroes. Heroes face dangers that most people are not willing to.
I'm having toooo much fun designing the new MP (Mental Psyche) system. I've only worked it out for enemies so far, but it's fun to stun them, then go after their MP and delete them instead to farm for better item drops.
anyone know of a place I can promote my game? sorta like game awards but for indie devs, like a place where I can drop a trailer and like stir up some hype
Doing RPG Maker News for 17th October 2021

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