Discussion in 'Art, Literature, and Music' started by Archeia, Jul 31, 2013.
Under WIP. Whaddaya think?
I need feedback to improve.
@KayZaman you've done a good job so far I'd say, however the switch from spiccato to legato strings at the beginning (around 0:15) was a bit choppy. I'd also suggest adding a bit more "filling" to the song to give it some variety. Right now it's just the intro and a part that loops once. Adding one or two more instruments to give it a little more substance should do the trick IMO.
Believe it or not, but this is actually the first song I've composed in four years that's in a 6/8 measure. Crazy, innit? I have no idea why I avoided using that kind of measure for so long since it was really fun composing this. It's a bit shorter since it's just a little experimental thingy done in a couple of hours but I'm still quite fond of it. What do you guys think?
Go home Soundcloud you're drunk.
I need to bookmark this thread so I don't have to spam it with my massive walls of text everytime I come back haha (yes I am three months late so?)
Welp, better get to it:
The vocals sound a bit distant, which may be an artistic choice but results in the lyrics being a bit hard to discern.
Overall I really enjoyed it, good work!
I'd like to hear some variety on the drums in the intro.
Again, the vocals seem a bit distant imo :/
As for the rest, listen to what @padr81 said, he seems to know more than I do regarding this genre ^^
You know it.
A couple things:
"Longing for an Adventure"
The cymbal swell results in no hit, that sounds a bit weird to me (that might be my personal taste actually)
If you're going for a natural/realistic feel, I'd say the delay is a bit weird (especially in the intro & the break, when the strings stop). If not, that's fine.
I would also like to hear some variation in the second part (if there was I didn't notice it)
That kick's attack is too slow, meaning it's not "snappy" enough, if that makes sense.
Otherwise that's very good stuff dude, great job!
I listened to your songs, your stuff is absolutely flawless.
If this isn't commercial quality idk what is
I think there are lots of really cool ideas in this track, that would work a lot more if they had room to express themselves. Right now they all try to sit on each other and the result sounds a bit messy, try to pause an instrument for an entire section while another is introduced, then pause another instrument and introduce yet *another* at the same time.
But I agree, this would work well for a mini-boss theme.
This would definitely work for a boss battle.
Maybe try layering that pluck synth you hear at the beginning with more instruments/synth towards the end to make the whole track sound "bigger" (since you're going for a boss fight.)
Your violins around the begining all have the same attack, I would suggest looking at another library if you can't control the attack over time.
I think your mix is too wide. A good idea is to have your very low-end completely mono (this applies more to EDM I think), your low-mid range more mono than stereo and your medium/high range wider as desired.
I think the only problem here is the percussions feel like they're too loud (not in that they block other instruments but that the levels are wierd, almost like you slammed a limiter on it and turn the gain to 200%)
There's some great tunes here, love your atmospheres! Fractal Patterns and Pretty Colours is my favorite.
I think your choir could use some volume automation to make it sound less "MIDI".
Also your piano is too low compared to the choir.
The percussion is on point though, love it!
I feel your bass should be an octave lower, but that might be my EDM background talking for me so I'm not sure.
Try to layer your brass a bit if you want to make it sound more full (I myself find myself not doing this enough)
Those two comments are really nitpicky, your song sounds great as it is ^^
The fact that your bass plays 8th notes throughout the whole track makes it pretty repetitive. I would favor accompagnying the melody on the bass and replacing the 8th notes with an ambient drone for example.
Sometimes less is more I think it's beautiful.
Do you do sheet music for your work? I know it's improv but I think you'd be very popular, especially over at r/composer on reddit
For VGM it's generally a bad idea to put balls-to-the-wall EDM drums like you did (the more subtle drums in the second part work better)
I would add a bit of reverb on that rimshot.
It's not difficult to make low quality sample libraries sound decent, the trick is to apply (reasonable amounts of) reverb, and more importantly: layer your instruments!
For your first songs that's actually really good.
I remember *my* first songs, they were nowhere near like that *shudder*
Do you have a musical background? Like played an instrument before for example?
In Die Trying I think there's too much going on at the same time, and it's very atonal at times, so be careful with that. As I told Benjamin Kuli before in a completely different context, "Sometimes less is more "
Also 1:13 you fumbled a bit on the piano
Good luck, looking forward to see your progress (on this thread hopefully ^^)
I think the only thing I can say is that your intro is too long and repetitive.
If you listen from the begining and pause at 0:25, you will have listened to the same one thing, so either add some variation/elements or shorten the intro.
Be careful with that guitar in the intro, I think it's clipping at around 0:15 on that 4th chord.
At around 0:34 to 0:42 your bass is playing weird notes, like they're playing the fundamental to another chord. Same when it picks up again at around 1:08
The chord progression and part of the melody reminds me of "Les Demoiselles de Rochefort" for some reason ^^
I really liked this song, great job! Only one hour!
Your EP is very interesting, and I notice each track revolves around the same motif.
The thing is, your songs are pretty repetitive, which is why I think it would work better if you made them way shorter, and somehow seam them together into one longer track (not a 20 minutes long track, but present each idea only once for example).
Since I was last here I released an EP called "reverie". I'm not sure it's anything you'd use in a RPG Maker game since none is loopable but it's orchestral
Looking back (or listening back I should say) I think I put a bit too much reverb. I don't know. Enjoy.
"A Breeze Makes it's Way Through the Leaves" > Very atmospheric, the chords used sound amazing, sounds like something belonging in Xenoblade Chronicles, ore something like that.
"As the Rain stops falling" > The drone note keeps us on our toes, and that's really good to use in the piece. Try to vary it a little more, though.
"Along the stream a wanderer walks" > Sounds like a dungeon theme, really nice.
"Into the Misty woodland" > Sounds like a continuation of the wanderer theme, was it meant to be this way? XD
"As the view clears up" > I like the shift from strings and woodwind to piano, nice touch. Try to surprise the listener with the piece, the listener (at least me) kind of settles.
"The wanderer finds a tavern" > Exotic instruments. Hi-five, to you there. Nice arrangement.
"His pilgrimage has just begun" > The emotion captured here is spot-on. It has a "beginning, but have already gone through a lot" feeling. This is the best piece in the EP, IMO.
Really well done, @Tirian.
This is my newest piece. This piece is about a girl who got kicked out of her town for being depressed, as depression is seen as a contagious disease where she lives, and is forced to fix all the problems in the world. Enjoy.
@Kaimen 6/8?! That sick beat I barely to count!
@Tirian When I listening to the wanderer finds the welcoming hearth of a tavern, how did you arranged the pipa sound?! Such pentatonic! Wow!
Both of you, thanks for the feedback. Yup, the strings between spiccato and legato at the beginning is......yup, quite choppy. I got myself mistake of how to manage the strings plays well, when it attacks. Still workin with Garageband. Not software's problem.
And yes, I tried to add another instruments like flute and brass, but I can't because of the electric guitar. If I remove guitar, I should remove rock drum too to make totally orchestral song.....whadda heck. I can't waste them.
I fix it again by using Garageband again on Mac. Waiting for feedback again.
The song is for my later project where it's a battle theme. Situation? Ambushed by enemies from the desert
@DestinyBattle I dreamt of being that girl, listening the song, almost got it. Is it clav or guitar sound? Try lower the velocity of the notes (I mean like don't press the piano too hard. Press the key smooth and slowly) so I can feel the situation clearly. The depression.
@KayZaman This new version is so much massive... Has more bass and it 'fills' the song. I really liked those string runs and articulations... Feels very natural!
@Tirian Your playlist is just.. awesome =] Some of these songs reminds me of great scores, like Jóhan Jóhansson's Arrival. You're pretty good! ;3
I'm kind of new around... i've brougth some musics i've composed for two rpg games... I hope you like...
This first score is called "A Regra dos Tiranos - Parte III", something like 'The Rule of Tyrants - Part 3'. Is from this game called "Vorum - Legacy of Justice": (This is the link for the topic of the game -> Vorum - Legados de Justiça )
This Second Score is from the new game Parceiros de Honra... This is the orchestral Suite from the game main themes...
I'm sorry for my bad english.... i'm from Brazil
Aquele abraço ^^
I make whatever the I come up with on the fly in the studio
@everyone thanks a lot for the feedback!
The whole EP is meant to continue off of each track (some tracks do that better than others.)
The instrument that plays the main melody in the begining sounds very midi and uninteresting, try adding some articulation/playing with the velocities and stuff.
Maybe also add some variation on the accompaniement
Really lovely track, love the way it builds up more instruments as the track goes! The chord progression is great too.
Aren't we all?
A bit of reverb on those strings would be lovely (not too much though)
it gets better at 0:15 but before that in the intro is sounds like the violin is right next to the listener's ears
also this might be my personal opinion but when it comes to panning instruments, I try to avoid panning the bass, it sounds really odd to me (pls let me know if I'm the only one haha)
those drums are amazing though, good job!
M8 both of those songs are too good, how do you only have 80 followers??
Ok my turn here's a track I started yesterday (there's a score if you want just click on the souncloud link)
EDIT: I have since finished the track, this is the updated link:
Oh man, this is really tough. Yeah, the intro where the striking stacatto strings was pan to the left but the right pan was electric guitar because I wanna make sure player/listener can listen what's something left or right. The bass.....yeah, I made experiment panning the bass but it's kinda weird. And those drum...computer played by my order.
And about your song, I felt like I'm enter the forest peacefully. Wow.
the rest of your instruments are fine to me, it's just that I'd put the bass at the center
..........none. This is a video of.....remake...
I'd like to share my music! Sorry it's water marked. I'm cautious when people just steal my work.
Now, I made it!
@yopeople What the score?!
Im working on a new composition
Whooooa. I really like this. It kind of reminds me of Faster Than Light's soundtrack just a bit, with that spacey, synthetic-like feel (though FTL's is a bit more synthy and simplistic). I like how it builds too. Kind of giving me sparkle-eyes over here, haha.
I've mostly been doing short, simple "stress relief" songs in between freelance writing. These two are my favorites from a recent "batch."
Started out as musical "vent art," became something different. I'm fond of the snap/clap section, though I know the claps are a bit too loud (a few days later I thought "wait, why didn't I shove that on its own channel and lower the volume, whoops").
This one is just supposed to be cute. It was supposed to be a theme for a world-hopping puffball character, which probably raises more questions than it answers.
What do you folks think?
Feels like I'm in the deep well of space. What the melody?!
@Sami-Fire64 I never heard this melody. But, yeah. The claps need to fix.
Well, here's mine but originally from Metal Gear Solid by Hideo Kojima. I wanna change the 8-bit sounds to orchestral.....literally.
@KayZaman I dig it! I'm mildly bothered by the low buzzing instrument (it might be a very low brass?), but I can't quite put my finger on what's bugging me about it (maybe because it sounds like a low-fi sound relative to the other instruments?). I do enjoy the strings and higher brass though! I like how the instruments fill the space (they're panned to different sides, right?); it's a nice effect overall.
I'm here again because I remade a song from several years ago, partly for funsies and partly to show my evolution. I think this song was actually "born" when I was first hanging out on these forums, so everything has come full circle. XD
And the original for comparison...
The structure kind of still smells of Young Sami's gimmicks ("look ma, rapid notes!"), and it didn't quite occur to me to adjust them at the time. (Maybe a little decay/release would have helped there a bit.) I might have accidentally broken the original feel of the song, but I'm not sure.
I think this is the list of changes from the original:
- Made the backing synth thing so that it wasn't just one note over and over again. It was also changed from whatever it was (chiffer lead...?) to an 8 bit 25% pulse.
- Replaced that freaking agogo with a triangle wave. So much better!
- Redid the drums. A bit iffy on these, but I'll let them slide for now.
- MIXING AND EFFECTS! These were totally absent in the original. Volume control, sure, but it was missing fun stuff like reverb and decay/release (which I slap on to make some sounds less staccato).
- The harp and pizzicato strings are panned a bit to the left and right, respectively.
- I'm pretty sure version 1 was made entirely in Musescore (the first version). This version was adjusted in Musescore 2 (if only because I still had the old file, and generally my workflow starts there for the sake of organization), then given tweaks and drums in FL Studio. (Drums are so much easier to do in FL Studio; thank goodness for patterns.)
So... yay, improvement!
I see a definite improvement here, it's always fascinating to see other composers' developments. Your mixing in particular was vastly improved in the new version, and I liked the addition of the lofi-esque noise channel drums. The only thing I think I can critique is that the overall mix feels a bit...top-heavy? As in I wish there was some sort of grounding bass instrument to fill in the rest of the harmonic spectrum. As is, although the composition is great, I'm left desiring a bit more low-end personally. Great job overall, though, seeing improvement in yourself and others is always fantastic and encouraging!
Here's something I did recently. It's a final boss theme based around fusing elements of hip-hop/metal/orchestral music. The melody is taken from the main leitmotif for the game, and twisted and recontextualized with different harmonies to give a darker vibe. Overall I'm very happy with the track, especially the drums/creepy piano section at 1:46 and climax, but I'd love to hear anybody's thoughts on it for my own improvement.
Thanks in advance!
@futrchamp Perverted determination? I donno the name fit the song. But hey, it's awesome but if it's for final boss battle, make something big if you wanna improve again. I heard clanking strings, what was that? Sounds really awesome.
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