Ranting

[Mrs_Allykat]

I have some hope in people. I'm willing to bet they'll begrudgingly accept it and let it go. However, they've already done damage that will hurt them for length of their lives.

 

[Finnuval]

@Mrs_Allykat oh how I wish this to become truth! I really strongly hope this was a pure emotional reaction and they do turn around, begrudgingly or otherwise, but I saw their faces... I hope but I don't believe

 

[Mrs_Allykat]

@Finnuval we have to have hope. Life is already too hard on it's own. Though I have to admit, they sound pretty terrible.

 

[Poryg]

@Finnuval I developed my homophobia as a form of self preservation mechanism. The most frequent incidents came in when I was 15, but continued up until 18 years, when they finally faded away for some reason. Every single one of them was at least 30 years of age and three weight classes heavier than me (I weighed 46 kgs), which, given that we were both males, implies considerably stronger than me as well. I've been able to overpower a 80kg woman despite our weight difference, because unlike her I knew where to apply strength... But with an 80kg man it is a completely different story. So I've learned to keep my distance from them for my own safety. Hope it explains that.

The fact that it's controversial doesn't make it any easier to accept or understand... Besides how anyone can think saying that to your own dying child is in any way, shape or form what God, Nature, Society (of whatever it is you use as a tool to judge by) intends is beyond me!
(and my apologies if I sound somewhat argumentative, it's not directed at you)

In all honesty, I don't find it right. But not that surprising either. I'm a sociopath and relationships have no value for me, but even without that history is so full of cases of parents and even entire families denouncing, killing or throwing away their children that it doesn't surprise me. Not to mention, in past we had God as a tool, nowadays it can be even pure self-entitlement or self-righteousness.

 

[Finnuval]

@Poryg I already PM'd you and I do understand where you are coming from. Though those people aren't gay they are just 'enter a word of choosing here' and deserve a good beating.

People can be animals for sure... doesn't mean we should accept it though

 

[Finnuval]

Anyway, thanks guys for the support and letting me vent for a sec.

I'm about to head back to hospital and let him know you guys wish him well

 

[Grunwave]

Finn,

Where did this occur? Country, province/state, et cetera.

Now I am curious about the full history of this family, though we will never know it. I wonder, if they were so bigoted, why they allowed you that interaction.

Were they young? Any clue why they were so anti gay?

 

[Romanticist]

I see man with woman as the ultimate ideal, and I don't like the idea of man sodomizing (or doing any sort of sexual act) with another man. I also hate the vulgarity of LGBT pride parades. But, I'm straight. And I think it's normal for straight people to feel sort of repulsed by homosexuality, especially sexual acts (moreso for men than for women, I would imagine, but I don't know). But if a gay man isn't promiscuous then I could totally accept him.

Actually though, even heterosexual sex is nasty when you look at it objectively. The only wholesome kind of sex is baby-making sex... but that's the minority of sex, isn't it? And I'm sure most of the time it is also raunchy as hell Most of the time, sex is purely carnal, recreational.
When I'm in my right mind, I feel disgusted by any sex, especially when promiscuity is promoted over intimate monogamous relationships. But then when I see a hot woman... my ape brain activates. Thankfully, it stays only a fantasy - but I wonder if it would stay a fantasy if I had hot women coming onto me all the time, like James Bond. I don't know, and I probably never will know. So I can stay a 'romanticist' and think "love over lust, anyday". Sigh... I honestly wish I was asexual, tbh.
But now I'm ranting.

 

[Kupotepo]

@Finnuval, sorry that you see how some people can be that terrible, but it happens alway the time outside the safe zone. People that can hurt us the most is the family members because we love them unconditionally. That also teaches you that your family is not defined by blood, but by how much caring they are.

His parents live in a fantasyland which everything has to have happened by what they know and what they believe. A new thing people don't => fear => rationalized the fear, so it became logic => turn into hate because something is different and not like them => (may lead to prosecution). Sad day for humanity because it keeps repeating.

 

[Finnuval]

sex is nasty when you look at it objectively.

You said it xD

We all have the right to our own idealised vision. But this is not about religion, nature , nurture or ideale... This is about bad parenting.

 

[samkfj]

I think the worst part of reading all this--is that this poor kid is in tremendous pain, he may not live to see tomorrow... and yet those who should protect him, keep him safe, give their lives for him--are unwilling to allow him some peace. To let him feel what everyone deserves.

It breaks my heart when people are unable to have children--but it destroys my soul when those that do have them--do nothing but hurt those children. Poor little guy.

You're a brave soul Finn--I could never do what you do--and this kid is my new hero.

 

[Lornsteyn]

If I have kids someday, there are sure some things I will never accept, but being gay or bi are not one these.

 

[_Shadow_]

@MushroomCake28 I have developed a level of homophobia as well, since I've had multiple bad experiences with gay men, because unfortunately for me, some of them find me attractive and don't take no for an answer, leaving me to have to be cunning to get rid of them. Although, as long as you don't bother anyone with it, I don't care which direction you swing in.
As for the story, while I can't say I'm happy to read it, I don't find it too surprising to be honest. Because yes, it's their child. But being gay is still a very controversial topic tied to emotions, politics and even religion.

Well, you do a mistake here. You are using a strong word to express something else. Homophobic people feel hate. I don't see any hate on your words though, just annoyance. Let me elaborate please.
If a woman you dislike wouldn't take a no for an answer, well she would also not leaving you other option than to stop her from harassing you. It has nothing to do with homosexuality.
Speaking for myself, I am heterosexual, but had a few gay people flirting me too. It was actually flattering, I explained that I was heterosexual, but I thanked them for their compliment and said I was flattered. I mean, I treat a gay man flirting me, as I would treat a flirty woman. With respect. Obviously I am not homophobic, someone being gay, for me, is like telling me that someone has blue eyes for example.

You were unfortunate, not meeting gay people that would respect you. Or you are too attractive for some people to just give up at first try. No matter what the reason is, you should be happy, not homophobic. You can let a gay person engage three times, you can explain politely that "Sorry man, I like girls" and after the third time, you can state that it was nice till now, but from now, you are getting annoyed. I find no reason to turn bad against them. Of course, if they insist... that's another story, but this can happen with women too.

Anyways, back on OP, I support LGBT community and it makes me sad, when I hear of people's feelings that weren't their own. What I mean is that people police their own minds. Religion helped a lot on this. Stereotypes help things go bad too. True. Sad. Just sad. I am happy you were there for the kid. Unfortunately society needs time to extract fear. Fear of the different. Fear of change. Fear of new things. Fear of getting rid of traditionally inherited fears.

"Going so far as to say to him they were glad he was dying so he couldn't spread this disease!"

You can't blame a sick person for what they say I guess. Because yes, their minds are sick. The kid was their cure, not the disease. And their cure is dying. Sad. SAD. So much hatred, for what?


A few friendly mod words (because I , myself have my own fears too )

Let's keep this thread away from both religion and politics as much as possible please.

I truly understand though that this conversation can have a positive potential, if it is kept strictly in the prism of forum rules.

 

[Henryetha]

As a mother who self was scared about my son's future... - he has a cardial defect and got a life saving op as a baby with 3 months - this is beyond my understanding.

And my son has down syndrome.
Trisomy 21 CANNOT be "spread" - same with homosexuality.

Don't get me wrong please, I don't put these both on the same level.
The only thing I refer to are the prejudices, which tenaciously keep existing.

Anyway, those parents seem not only incredible cold and apparently heartless, but above all ignorant and bad informed.

One could say, we're not in the position to judge.. and yea, I know it is kinda wrong to do so.
But I understand so many things. This thing I can't understand.

 

[_Shadow_]

Those parents seem not only incredible cold and apparently heartless, but above all ignorant and bad informed.
... This thing I can't understand.

I judge nobody. But things are simple. Ignorance has its own degree. When you are ignorant of your own ignorance though, you are doomed. That's the problem here. People fear. And fear does bad things when people feel it. I understand them. I feel sorry for them, for real. I pity them.

 

[Henryetha]

For me, no fear is bigger than losing my son.
So yes, you're right on one side.. but I still can't understand it.

The only explanation could be, they simply don't love their son enough.
But that's actually something, I wanna try to avoid stating..

 

[_Shadow_]

I can PM you on that topic, since it will go far beyond the forum rules to elaborate.
I will just say that conditioning can make things like that happen.

 

[Finnuval]

@Henryetha yeah it's hard to wrap your head around. Despite what @Dreadshadow says about conditioning, which my brain can understand but my heart cannot. And a piece of me is glad you can't understand

 

[Starmage]

Oh my! You did the right thing, Finnuval! And for being there for the child! >.< I feel so sorry for him and I can only wish him the best in his life now and beyond. >.<

And I can only wish for the child's parents to realize their mistakes, and maybe someday, they'll learn that only their love for the child will overpower any kinds of indoctrination of society.

It is truly heartbreaking that stories like these still exists, but what we can do is be the change that we want to be in society ^_^ If people can't be accepting or if some people are quite "rude", then we become the opposite.

It is truly amazing that you did what you did for the child, Finnuval. And also what the mother of the other boy did! That was amazing! I am positive that there are still lots of people out there who are accepting and loving!

The world is a big place! Acceptance and love is always just around the corner. ^_^

 

[Mystic_Enigma]

I don't usually peer at topics like this, but this one is just too baffling to ignore!

I mean, how could someone say that about someone over something so trivial a their orientation, much less to their Ill kin?! If that's how they truly feel, why the blazes are they even having children?!

I myself am Straight, but I could care less if someone is otherwise as long as they're not doing anything immoral or gross (I'm not too fond of the whole, you know...yeah, no thanks.). This is probably a lame question, but I always ask: WHY? Why is here so much hatred and evil thinking towards these folks? What did they ever do to those parents that made them feel that way? Is the child hurting their cred or ruining their life? I wouldn't imagine so. So WHY?!

I am so heated right now, there are so many people full of so much misplaced hate, I just don't understand how someone think that's ok.

Nice of you to be there for them, defying those horrible parents it always a plus too!