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Rose Guardian

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This for the release something event.
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The world Terra is a vast place where many things have happened in the past. In the past millions of fought over a sphere known as the Shadow Sphere. It is said that the Shadow Sphere can grant any wish one desires. However it is has brought misfortune to those who have used it. The scary thing about it is that no, one has seen it centuries, but it is said to be hidden in cave in the Northern reaches some where.

Main Story:

Princess Amegra has lived all her life and been betrayed by many of her friends in the past. She now feels like she can never find the right friends. However after she hears about the Shadow Sphere able to grant wishes, she decides to find it and make a wish that people would be nice to her. However what she doesn't know is that the Shadow Sphere wishes comes with a price.


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Enemies have weaknesses

Each Character has overdrive skills

There will be more added later.

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Plugins:



Mog Hunter

Olivia

Yanfly



Graphics:
Parallel World Heroes Pack

Fantasy Heroine Packs, 2, 3, and 4

Frontier Works Futuristic Heroes Pack



Music:

Frontier Works Futuristic BGM that came with the heroes graphic packs

Audio Stock Music Volume 1

Other than this I cannot remember who made the rest of the music. If anyone knows who made

the other music please tell me so I can credit them.


Also I didn't use my own art in this one because I wanted to make use of Graphic Packs I bought from Steam. This doesn't mean I won't draw my own cut scenes in a later release.

Download:
Removed for various reasons.
 
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Rose Guardian

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BUMP

How come no one giving me feedback on this or looking at this? I really want to hear from some one who has played this game.
 
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sabao

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This is a huge file for a demo. Downloading now, I'll put my two cents in after playing.

Right now though, the premise is unremarkable. It's very archetypal. Unless you have some spectacular angle to this story (that's just not showing in your project description!), you may have trouble reeling an audience in.
 
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Rose Guardian

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I'm not good at explaining things is the problem. If I give out any more it will spoil it.
 

sabao

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Well then,

  • Spellcheck is your friend.
    I spotted more than a few words misspelled here and there. Running your dialogue over MS Word first so you can spot these errors should resolve that problem.
  • Language.
    Your usage of 'psycho' and 'kick your ass' feel out of place within your setting's context, especially considering the character saying them (a princess). Actually...
  • Story.
    ... Your dialogue just doesn't feel organic. Nicklelack for whatever reason still feels he can be snarky after his evil ex-friend puts a thrashing on Megan. And well, mostly everything of what came from Megan's mouth just didn't seem natural. She swung from denial to rage to grief then to MARRY ME so quickly I'm convinced she's bipolar.
  • Maps.
    Your forest is in dire need of a forest. You use too much empty space in your maps. At least 80% of what I see on-screen all the time is floor. I'm not going to comment on it outside of that since you did mention you aren't exactly a mapper, but it is hard to get around when I'm not entirely sure where I am.
  • Floating Faces?
    Are you using a script for the character portraits in messages? This isn't a big deal, but it's weird how the foot of the portraits float a few pixels above the window like that.
  • Nicklelack is a Tank.
    I'm assuming he leaves at some point as another heart breaker for our unfortunate heroine. Tough, but battles were a cakewalk with him around.

Solid effort, but there's still a lot of work to be done. The story may be in dire need of a rewrite. You're throwing too many twists and turns at the beginning which I frankly felt nothing for. Megan pretty much went through two or three life events in the first ten minutes of the game and I really couldn't get into it. Nicklelack pretty much just came out of nowhere, and when he bared his soul in the earliest part of the game (and with how Megan responded), I just laughed. These characters were strangers to me. Try to pace your story a little slower.
 

Rose Guardian

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Thank you! By the Princess Megan is bipolar it will be mentoned later on the game in a future demo. I do see your point, I should have said that she was bipolar sorry about that. I can't really rewrite the story because I like it how it is. Also here is a spoiler about Nicklelack and people don't look if you haven't played the game:

He does leave the party later on and is actually evil
 

sabao

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So, bipolar princess protagonist. Check.

It's not so much that you can't rewrite it as it is that you won't. I can appreciate your resolve, but you're not taking critique for mapping and you aren't for the story either... What kind of feedback were you expecting?
 

Rose Guardian

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Just normal feedback I'm not mad or anything. There's people who would like it and people who wouldn't that simple.
 
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Kaiser

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I'll take a swing at the game..but I will be finding flaws in it and as well as the story.
 

Rose Guardian

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Okay then no problem. Just make sure you're clear with your feedback after you try it. I can misunderstand things very easily. Just wanted to let you know. :)
 

Rose Guardian

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I know it's been a bunch of years since I touched this, but it's been updated, and moved to MV because I chose to work on it again. It's also for the Release Something Event. The comments, and feedback are now outdated. Please keep that in mind,
 

Biestmann

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Moving an entire game to a new engine is a lot of work, so well done doing that. Back when MV released, I completely abandoned all progress I had made in VX Ace as it proved too daunting for me to see through. I look forward to you furthering this project, I think it looks interesting!
 

Rose Guardian

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@Biestmann Thank you! I am defiantly still working on this now. I actually drew a few cut scene to go with the art I bought for the game for the next release. I really hope you have just as much fun as a I did making it.
 

potatopoofer

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I really love the sprite art, I think it'd reel in a lot of people.
 

AxelNinjaGamer

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So, I gave the demo a go and while it was shorter than I expected, I think it's a good start.
I absolutely couldn't get enough of the title screen, it was unexpected and the music was perfect. Took me a good five minutes before I actually started to play the game.

  • The Bust graphics
  • The Animated HP/MP gauges
  • The Menu
  • Balanced Combat
  • Nice Battle GUI
You've got a lot of nice resources

Now as you'd expect with a demo, there were issues with a few things.
When leaving ELrich for the first time I was a bit lost an not entirely sure what to do. You might consider having Matt tell Amegra to leave ELrich and head east.

The battles actually felt really balanced, I wasn't too OP and fights never lasted more than 3 turn, but you should consider having a tutorial fight. Perhaps having Matt ask Amegra if she'd like a refresher on fighting.

Personally I found the cave to be too dark, It was really hard to see the hole that I needed to go through. It was also hard to tell the floor and wall apart from each other.

When leaving the shop and even some houses in Wayn I found myself teleporting to ELrich, one time I was stuck in a wall and had to restart from a previous save. While it was kinda funny the first few times, if Wayn wasn't so close to Elrich, I might have stopped playing here.

Something in Wayn is a small glitch that lets the party walk on ledges
through walls.PNG
In the menu when looking at the parties status I noticed some information overlapping the background textoverlap.PNG
You seem to be missing some other images and data as well
upload_2019-3-30_12-2-50.png
It's kinda hard to give an overall opinion since it was so short and had little time to flesh out characters, but I think this is a really good start. You may want to work on some of your mapping graphics, also SPELL CHECK. I like to copy and paste everything I write in google docs and spell
check it.
 

Rose Guardian

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@AxelNinjaGamer I fixed the missing graphics, and the teleport error. Thank you for playing, and leaving feedback. Sorry about the miss understanding earlier. I thought you said you stopped playing before the end.
 
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So I played this game too! Going to copy my pros and cons again:

Pros:
- Like the use of DLC Assets. Gave me more opportunities to give them more personality!
- Your one lady antagonist

Cons:
- Mapping was hard to navigate. Maybe lighten up your sprites?
- Spellcheck (My biggest pet peeve in this game was 'Jaqulyn' instead of 'Jacquelyn'
EDIT: During this recording I did mispell 'Jacquelyn' as well, so I understand why a name like this is complicated.
- Make enemies more unique. Less evil rats, bats, and slime. Mix it up!
- I did miss your old portraits from 'Dark Slayers' near the end.
- Mom did not look like a Mom
- The whole 'My boyfriend dumped me' really wasn't expanded on and it was awkward even though I am in a (currently long distance) relationship and AM an artist. That and it was a text message breakup. It did make Alec out to be a jerk, but I would rather he break up with her in person so we can see what he looks like AND if he has moved on with a new girl (make her the lady boss please), show it as well. If not and he's just a weirdo loser that works too.
- Maybe choose a different sprite for Johan? He doesn't look like a bad kid and I didn't get to see enough of him. He at least was shown, but it makes me think he is a non-issue like the VaidaLoids.
 
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Rose Guardian

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Thank you. I am actually updating this game. I had my brother look over it, and he gave some pointers too. I actually have a lot I changed story wise so it will make more since. As for Johan I am very limited on sprites, so I have to keep that one for him. He's the youngest of Amegra's brothers. Also the queen is being changed to a mean step mom with the story changes.
 
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Thank you. I am actually updating this game. I had my brother look over it, and he gave some pointers too. I actually have a lot I changed story wise so it will make more since. As for Johan I am very limited on sprites, so I have to keep that one for him. He's the youngest of Amegra's brothers. Also the queen is being changed to a mean step mom with the story changes.
Oooh! That is going to be fun.

Please keep Rebis because she is amazing.
 
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