OK, let's do this thing:
First off, nice job on the camp and forest. Very dark and eerie.
The game starts out with a bit of a story and there is a fellow to the left of the player that the player can walk right over. I guess he's part of the background, but not a Sprite. Little confusing there.
This RPG does not move in a tight grid like 32x32. Not sure what the measurements are, that's a little confusing cause you can talk to a sprite facing one direction from 3-different positions as long as you are merely close to them.
There are no visually dissimilar sprites to show where the wood and water are. Also suggest you have a notice that says how much more wood you need as I went back a few times and while they said now we need water, which led me to believe I had enough wood, checking the fireplace itself said I needed more wood.
The warp you have to the top-right of the camp is a little confusing. If you go there and just walk left to right you warp back. Suggest the player warps a little higher than that so they truly must walk BACK to go back to where they came from.
I'm not really sure where that darned wood is since the first few sticks I found were merely at dead ends in the map with no visual reference. Finally found it all.
I see the water is being retrieved from a lake, but it is so dark you can't tell it is water except by going up to it and pressing [ENTER] to examine.
I like the creepy skinny text, that's a good touch to the game.
You have a point where it says, "I shouldn't go too far from the camp."
While it prevents the player from doing so the first time, you could have the player do it a 2nd time and get immediately killed in a scary script to punish them for not taking this good advice.
As small as the game is, suggest EVERY sprite have some degree of conversation. After water and wood were gathered, I noticed the girl has no dialogue when you are facing to the left.
I like the way the mist scrolls at twice the speed of the player's background to give you a good feeling of depth.
It is REALLY hard to see where you are traveling when going to investigate the strange sound. Not even a flashlight, just can barely see the player's sprite.
Everyone always brings a flashlight, you could make a sphere of light that doesn't reveal much but does show that the player had enough sense to bring a flashlight rather than wandering out in the pitch dark without.
As small as the game is, suggest ANYTHING of interest have a message attached. When the player is investigating the strange sound, there are dying fire embers in the pit. Suggest this be revealed to the player instead of no message at all.
Build the suspense with messages, especially if the player really checks out everything before investigating.
When the message appears, "I should check out that sound." it is not clear if the other campers are in the tent or if they have wandered off themselves. Perhaps add something that reveals, "The tent is empty. Where did they go ?"
It's a little comical to see the player run from danger and navigate the pitch blackness perfectly whereas when I'm trying to find my way through it I'm bumping into every little obstacle.
The WHOLE camp brought only one flashlight ? Minju, where it is used when the party goes to investigate looks good, and that's a good lit sphere of illumination.
When it says, "Not this way ?" Why not ? As small as this game is, the player should be allowed to investigate every little thing and add scary dialogue besides.
When the party finally reach the top of the map to comment how dark it is, there is an odd jumping of the flashlight visual, it does not follow the party.
Perhaps have some dialogue when the player tries to get ahead of the slower moving companions, like "Wait for us." etc.
If they were really wandering for a long time as the script suggests, the flashlight would be having problems about now.
I like how the script shows the player was thinking about shouting but decided to keep quiet unless the situation got worse - that's how fear works.
You have a lot of written dialogue. Suggest there is a part of the game where you try to find the car, or even show where the car (visually) is in the beginning of the game.
Then the car is obviously missing from where it was parked when the party try to escape.
Umm ... You can't lock the door to a tent, you can zipper the flap.
Whoa ! WTH ? You didn't mention anything in the script about them finding a cabin, just "He followed us here !" All of a sudden they are in a cabin with no mention in the story of it. Truly an unexpected jump in the story.
Because you are not using a standard 32x32 pixel format for the tiles, you can get right up against the right-side of a wall and not be able to move up to it. A whole person could pass between you and the gap there.
Kind of odd you can walk right through other sprites as if they part of background. Suggest you place them where they do not block the way and make them solid like most RPGs.
Good job on dialog all throughout the cabin investigating every little thing. A player inadvertently will look for any clues they can find.
I like the script where you show a close-up of the window outside.
To add to the creepiness, you could have the flashlight flicker and go out at key points in the cabin, and return back to normal light when they leave these areas.
You have dialog, "We played some cards here before going out camping." Is this the party's personal cabin then ?
If this is the case, there would be flashlights or candles - if it is an unknown cabin I can understand there not being emergency supplies.
One part of the dialog says, "You saw something looking like me." If this is from the earlier window scene, there is no way this camper could know about it as no dialog was revealed in that respect.
Pressing [ESC] reveals only an option to quit. Perhaps at least list what the player is carrying, water, firewood (and number of), fuel for the fireplace, etc.
I like the, "I don't feel so good." scene you did, very creepy.
Because you can move in less space than 32 pixels, you can examine two items at one time (both scripts appear) that are to the left and right and directly ahead of the player. That might be a problem in future games.
Did you do the, "Yub dub dub." voice yourself ?
You have great text descriptions, but there are many parts you could add imagery, like the black liquid seeping in front of the player. A picture of the albino with long fingers on the roof.
Definitely needs more imagery, that's important in a horror movie.
You could definitely have the text parts spoken by voice actors, your friends.
You mention the car gets started, but there is no audio to indicate an idling or even in-motion engine.
The glass shattered - could have appropriate sound of glass breaking here.
When someone shrieks, you could have the audio for them. Audio shrieks and gasps and groans and other sounds are definitely part of a horror film.
Car skidded to a stop, there was no appropriate screeching sound.
Good job on the gunshots, I definitely jumped when I heard it the 2nd time.
You have a lot of grisly descriptions near the end, suggest you add lots of horrible sound effects to emphasize these. Remember, "The Grudge" and how they used that creepy clicking sound ? When you heard it, you knew something bad was happening.
For the ending, you could have some degree of creepy music. If nothing else, you can use MIDI from a horror film that is not well known to players.
If you like, I could suggest something.
Noticed after it said THE END, the whole game ended abruptly shutting down the executable. You could add a credits list or something, especially if you or some of your friends did the creepy sound effects.
Completed game - sorta scary, needed more imagery and audio and human verbal dialog to match the mood, fear, and emotion of the scene would definitely add to it.
Overall, nice job ! It's not easy to make horror RPGs and pull it off well.
