Evan Finkel

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Here's a new story idea! Please tell what doesn't sounds good or exciting, I will love to hear your feedback.

This game follows a story where a kid who loves horror stories got a chance to go near the castle of Belece. It is a famous talk that Belece has been built years ago, almost 30 years before and now it is the home of strange ghosts. However, it has known to the most scary castle and never a single person go there, even townspeople are scared from castle's thoughts. The kid, one day found a knight whose in search of secret treasure his brother hides in a cave near the Belece. The kid and the knight moved one step forward to go for their goal.

Here's the blog!
 
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Super Galaxy Convoy

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The story sounds interesting, though just one question. Who is "they" in the last sentence of the story? Is it the kid and his brother? The kid and the knight?
 

Evan Finkel

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@Super Galaxy Convoy: They are the kid and the knight. Actually, the knight's brother was killed and kid isn't the brother of knight.
 

Simon D. Aelsi

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Sounds good, hombre. But... it seems a little too vague in the beginning... I mean you say "they" too many times, so who is 'they' in the first part? Townspeople?

I like the idea otherwise.  In my opinion there should be more "Whys".... Why won't they go there? Why are they scared to even think about Belece? (LOVE the name BTW! :D )

Why is the castle haunted?

:) Hope this helps!
 

Evan Finkel

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Hey, thanks for the feedback.

Why won't they go there? 
They didn't want the ghosts to eat them. :p

Why are they scared to even think about Belece?
They are scared from the creepy ghosts.

Why is the castle haunted?
In the big place where nobody live for a vvvvery long time, ghosts found a good place to live in. And Belece was not cleaned by anyone you know why, so ghosts love to live in dirty places.  :p
 

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