Evan Finkel

Modeling Beholder
Veteran
Joined
Mar 6, 2014
Messages
1,076
Reaction score
320
Primarily Uses
Here's a new story idea! Please tell what doesn't sounds good or exciting, I will love to hear your feedback.

This game follows a story where a kid who loves horror stories got a chance to go near the castle of Belece. It is a famous talk that Belece has been built years ago, almost 30 years before and now it is the home of strange ghosts. However, it has known to the most scary castle and never a single person go there, even townspeople are scared from castle's thoughts. The kid, one day found a knight whose in search of secret treasure his brother hides in a cave near the Belece. The kid and the knight moved one step forward to go for their goal.

Here's the blog!
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Super Galaxy Convoy

Supreme Commander
Veteran
Joined
Mar 14, 2012
Messages
217
Reaction score
20
First Language
Vietnamese
Primarily Uses
The story sounds interesting, though just one question. Who is "they" in the last sentence of the story? Is it the kid and his brother? The kid and the knight?
 

Evan Finkel

Modeling Beholder
Veteran
Joined
Mar 6, 2014
Messages
1,076
Reaction score
320
Primarily Uses
@Super Galaxy Convoy: They are the kid and the knight. Actually, the knight's brother was killed and kid isn't the brother of knight.
 

Simon D. Aelsi

Voice Actor/Composer
Veteran
Joined
Feb 22, 2014
Messages
4,838
Reaction score
1,397
First Language
Hylian
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
Sounds good, hombre. But... it seems a little too vague in the beginning... I mean you say "they" too many times, so who is 'they' in the first part? Townspeople?

I like the idea otherwise.  In my opinion there should be more "Whys".... Why won't they go there? Why are they scared to even think about Belece? (LOVE the name BTW! :D )

Why is the castle haunted?

:) Hope this helps!
 

Evan Finkel

Modeling Beholder
Veteran
Joined
Mar 6, 2014
Messages
1,076
Reaction score
320
Primarily Uses
Hey, thanks for the feedback.

Why won't they go there? 
They didn't want the ghosts to eat them. :p

Why are they scared to even think about Belece?
They are scared from the creepy ghosts.

Why is the castle haunted?
In the big place where nobody live for a vvvvery long time, ghosts found a good place to live in. And Belece was not cleaned by anyone you know why, so ghosts love to live in dirty places.  :p
 

Latest Threads

Latest Profile Posts

so... I decided since a park was an area in my game... here's an enemy that's slide with a hand behind it. cause why not.
Hot chocolate and music make studying and note-taking much easier :kaoluv:
Until my hand cramps up from writing too much!
Doing RPG Maker News for 21st September 2021


Malak is still waiting for Dark Deception Chapter 4... This was him yesterday after another sugar crash.
Again, he's fine. He's just bored at this point, considering he's exhausted his entire vacation bucket list.
Am I the only one who files custom resources under specific folders to remember who to credit? :kaoswt2:
1632263519730.png

Forum statistics

Threads
115,269
Messages
1,088,477
Members
149,873
Latest member
DeadlightBC
Top