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The context is this: after being transported to a town via a ship, you and your accomplice are unexpectedly thrown overboard because the captain (who is a woman) just decided to on a whim. You land on the dock, your accomplice lands in the water. She climbs onto the dock, turns to the boat, and yells, "You *****!"
I wrote this scene as a joke, but every time I think about it or look at it, something about it rubs me the wrong way. To me the word "*****" is just kind of ugly. However, after going through lists of insults, I can't seem to find an appropriate alternative. In this kind of context, the insult is a very guttural, angry, and impulsive response. But at the same time, it just seems jarring. The scene was supposed to keep a lightened tone, but it just comes across as hacky. To me, anyway.
I could be alone here, but I would like to hear others' opinions.
I wrote this scene as a joke, but every time I think about it or look at it, something about it rubs me the wrong way. To me the word "*****" is just kind of ugly. However, after going through lists of insults, I can't seem to find an appropriate alternative. In this kind of context, the insult is a very guttural, angry, and impulsive response. But at the same time, it just seems jarring. The scene was supposed to keep a lightened tone, but it just comes across as hacky. To me, anyway.
I could be alone here, but I would like to hear others' opinions.
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