The Delusion

[kartersaint]

It's French. Because... the nation of the game is...

Spoiler

Anyway Ending B... then you checked every diary but never checked that "piano". 

There's still a lot of time to play the game, the game is needed to play repeatedly to see crucial marks. 

And I admit that forced love story is not essential but it makes more sense how disgusting that "he" is as a more powerful way.

Your assumption was the thing what I intended. However, actually you need to consider more things if you want to play more.

 

[shayoko]

if you mean the piano

Spoiler

in geforis
(hard to spell that name)room i did

the only thing i did not check that i found was the paper in the top left corner of the room which triggers a event so i was gonna come back to that.

only item i did not collect on purpose

 

[kartersaint]

If you check, you will play more that around 45 (20 or 20 + x) minutes of the game.

 

[SinのAria]

My feedback/review.  Put it in spoiler text just in case.

Spoiler

Go figure I'd get an evil ending, lol.  Got ending D.  I noticed that the girl didn't seem to notice the character which means one of the two is dead.
Using post from the other site:

Played your game. 

Noticed a few glitches like being able to walk on doors that probably should have stopped you, certain objects appearing during certain scenes that probably shouldn't have been there.

 

There were some text errors (like dilusion instead of delusion as an example).  While the ones from the character could be understandable, the rest is a bit less understandable.

 

For areas that you can't return to, it would be nice to have a yes/no 'Are you sure' type of choice so that people can save or w/e. Some people would like to explore some more before continuing on. Looks like you made that choice for one of the areas, but not the first area (though it might not matter that much, still wanted to explore a bit more.

 

A thought of mine is that you could potentially make it so that events spawn by proximity.  When you don't have the light, the glowing could potentially only be seen at a certain distance and when you get the light, it could change the distance you can find the glows.  Just as a potential possibility with how you did things.  Of course, this would make the game harder.

 

I might revisit your game later, but there are a few things that would make me avoid returning.  Firstly: I hate chase scenes in games.   They usually require reactive speed and unfortunately, I'm the type that is purely preset actions.  In other words, if I don't already have a preset series of actions, I can't do anything because I can't react in time.  so I had to find out where the chases would start and then find a path to the safe zone.  Secondly: You move so slowly.  I ended up speeding up the game to make the movement a bit faster.  This of course made chase scenes harder, lol.

 

====

 

Review:

 

Introduction: So the game seems to be a horror based game where you are trying to leave a place you've been for ages.

 

Gameplay: Fairly simple gameplay with simple controls.  Sadly, while holding shift will autoskip certain text once the text finishes displaying, it does not seem to speed up the actual text display for the longer lengths of text, so it is fairly easy to skip text you didn't mean to.  

 

Story: Interesting enough of a story.  Fairly in-depth story that contains some interesting ideas.  There are some text inconsistencies (typos) that could be fixed to make it easier to read, but overall, it is well done.

 

Graphics/Sound: Graphics are fairly well done and generally very well organized. However, there are places that could use more customized graphics since they feel out of place due to either the angle or the shape.  Considering in the work done with the graphics, it seems that a bit more work could have been done to make it even better.  For sound, generally the sound is done well.  However, certain footsteps seem a bit off in terms of sound-possibly just that some footsteps sound oddly loud.

 

Play Time/Replayability: It took me about an hour to finish the game, although I likely ended with one of the faster endings to obtain. As for playing again, while there is some value in replaying, the inability to truly skip parts that you've already seen makes it seem like more work than it is worth.  I feel that an improved text skipping/speedup feature could be useful to improve how enjoyable a replay is, although it might be difficult to improve.

 

 

Final Recommendation: The game is definitely worth playing.  While not the most frightening game, it does fall into the horror genre.

 

 

[kartersaint]

I didn't know that you're already a member of this forum. My bad. 

I'm really impressed by your review.

Spoiler

I determine the chase scene should be put if the game is horror genre. But as you played, only the first part has the chase and rest of the part is exploring the castle with a lot of document. So it maybe a personal review about chase scene in the game, but the chase scene will be contained with no change.

I agree with the event, but the game itself, to be honest, has not really dark shade in the game, and there a lot of item that might be needed to read, if I make them conceal and hard to find, then many people will miss the events. And only a few few few people will reach the crucial ending. lol.

To the point of the texts, I'll say no long sentence.

I, will, put, the, script, that, can, scroll, fast, to, read, at, next, version.

I sincerely thank you that you pointed the texts problem. As I played again, I realised it would be annoy you need to read a lot of text again. So I'll take your suggestion and plan to improve the game.

Thank you for playing my game. I'm shame myself that I could not make progress further in your game, but I bet your game would be nice to get votes for the people in here or rest days of this contest. 

Edit: I'm going to upload the version with texts skip. The key to skip is Ctrl. Typo and sound error will be fixed if I have a lot of time in my home... So this is just a first aid for the game. And the link has been updated now.

 

[SinのAria]

I don't know if I want to make a thread here about my game since I don't plan to update my game until I am sure the contest is over or I'm out of the contest.

Also, the tutorial is probably harder than the actual battle since with the battle after, there are several ways to cheese the battle.  In fact, it was my expectation for people to die during that battle.  You aren't supposed to beat it the first try and as I mentioned, you actually get rewarded for losing in certain ways.  The battles aren't really the main point of the game anyways (at least not in the contest version-the contest version was more of a focus on story), they were just included so that people could see the combat system and to show how overly powerful certain characters were.

Now, it is insanely difficult to try to win the fights without any losses.  In fact, one of the ways to cheese the battle will almost certainly kill off most of your party and possibly even lead to a few party wipes.

==

I'm glad you liked my review, lol.  Yeah, the chase thing is just personal feeling.  First time, I didn't even realize it was a chase scene, lol.

Band aid fixes, eh? lol.

 

[Housekeeping]

Hey, I ran into a missing graphics file.  It occurred after I got the lantern and I was following Marguerite and that other guy.  Here are my thoughts on the game so far, though:

Spoiler

-The music does a lot for the atmosphere.  I'm not sure if it's original or not, but it's fitting.-The footsteps are good, too, but they're too loud in the mix.

-Since English isn't your first language, sometimes it's difficult to fully comprehend what's being said.  This is doubly problematic since this game relies on mystery; often I wondered if something was being intentionally unsaid for the plot or if I just misunderstood some of the dialogue.  I'd try to get a native English speaker (preferably one with writing experience) that you can sit down with and explain what needs to be conveyed in each exchange.

-I like playing as a creature from the basement.  I assume the ending in part revolves around revealing what he is--either a monster or a guy who has some kind of relation with the castle.  If that's the case, that's fine--I can't really make a judgment on it without seeing how it plays out.  However, I kind of like being placed in the role of a monster.

-Sometimes the protagonist says too much, such as when he investigates notes.  I think in cases like these, it's better to just show the notes (or whatever) to the player and let them come to their own conclusions.  That way, they're taking on the role of this miserable creature a bit more directly.  Another example would be the turning statue head; just let the player experience it instead of having the protagonist comment on it.  Often things hit harder when they're left unsaid; look at the end of the Shining, for example.  No one tries to explain the picture; the viewer has to make the connection themselves.

-I liked some of the mapping--especially the cluttered area right outside the first room.  The castle was pretty clearly in disrepair, so that was conveyed well, but often areas felt a bit rushed.  The later castle areas, for example, had a lot of empty space that was filled with a carpet tile that conformed to the area a bit strangely.  Just look at the carpet's borders and you'll see what I'm talking about.

-The first chase scene was fine, but the second two lost their power since I'd already "solved" the chase scene.  These two chase scenes just became following a well-trodden path instead of creating a sense of panic.  The fourth and fifth chase scenes were handled better (especially the fifth when the dress falls over).

-Why do some doors have multiple locks?  You often force the player to need a new key, anyway.  You might also color code locked doors (or use some other visual cue) so the player can immediately tell if they have the right key.

Anyway, I think you created a pretty solid atmosphere, but the dialogue saps the story of its strength and takes a bit of the terror out of it.  I'm going to hold off on reviewing this since I wasn't able to beat it, but, if you're curious, I'm looking at this as about a 2 right now, and it could go up or down based on the rest of the game.  If you fix the issue I'll finish up and give you any additional feedback that I have.

 

[kartersaint]

Hey, I ran into a missing graphics file.  It occurred after I got the lantern and I was following Marguerite and that other guy.  Here are my thoughts on the game so far, though:

Spoiler

-The music does a lot for the atmosphere.  I'm not sure if it's original or not, but it's fitting.-The footsteps are good, too, but they're too loud in the mix.

-Since English isn't your first language, sometimes it's difficult to fully comprehend what's being said.  This is doubly problematic since this game relies on mystery; often I wondered if something was being intentionally unsaid for the plot or if I just misunderstood some of the dialogue.  I'd try to get a native English speaker (preferably one with writing experience) that you can sit down with and explain what needs to be conveyed in each exchange.

-I like playing as a creature from the basement.  I assume the ending in part revolves around revealing what he is--either a monster or a guy who has some kind of relation with the castle.  If that's the case, that's fine--I can't really make a judgment on it without seeing how it plays out.  However, I kind of like being placed in the role of a monster.

-Sometimes the protagonist says too much, such as when he investigates notes.  I think in cases like these, it's better to just show the notes (or whatever) to the player and let them come to their own conclusions.  That way, they're taking on the role of this miserable creature a bit more directly.  Another example would be the turning statue head; just let the player experience it instead of having the protagonist comment on it.  Often things hit harder when they're left unsaid; look at the end of the Shining, for example.  No one tries to explain the picture; the viewer has to make the connection themselves.

-I liked some of the mapping--especially the cluttered area right outside the first room.  The castle was pretty clearly in disrepair, so that was conveyed well, but often areas felt a bit rushed.  The later castle areas, for example, had a lot of empty space that was filled with a carpet tile that conformed to the area a bit strangely.  Just look at the carpet's borders and you'll see what I'm talking about.

-The first chase scene was fine, but the second two lost their power since I'd already "solved" the chase scene.  These two chase scenes just became following a well-trodden path instead of creating a sense of panic.  The fourth and fifth chase scenes were handled better (especially the fifth when the dress falls over).

-Why do some doors have multiple locks?  You often force the player to need a new key, anyway.  You might also color code locked doors (or use some other visual cue) so the player can immediately tell if they have the right key.

Anyway, I think you created a pretty solid atmosphere, but the dialogue saps the story of its strength and takes a bit of the terror out of it.  I'm going to hold off on reviewing this since I wasn't able to beat it, but, if you're curious, I'm looking at this as about a 2 right now, and it could go up or down based on the rest of the game.  If you fix the issue I'll finish up and give you any additional feedback that I have.

Thank you for your honesty review. 

Spoiler

a. All musics except battle (your route may have no battle against the monster) and Ending S ~ SSS are musics from Freesound. I found some good public domain musics. Footsteps... I'll work this out. 

b. I know my English is bad. That can be one of reasons why I set game's background to medieval time. No slang to learn, characters are noble. That's why at least, I could make pure dialogues. Still it's not enough to make English based game, but I did my best. However, I'm flattered that you want to help me out. 

c. You get the point. The protagonist of my game is actually, I always have been curious. What if making a game that the monsters from horror game have its own background story? And make a player control them. This initial idea made this game bigger, and even I tried to put a lesson with my terrible English skill. XD. 

d. As the reason of b. I actually tried to make my game as vague. Just put a few words, then make the player calculate it. But I somehow realised if I try that, then nobody will understand my game's story. That's why I put so many monologue to the protagonist, make the player understand easier. However, I'll consider to make him quiet. Funnily, I agreed with your notion even I made this game. lol. But just thinking about protagonist's innocent. He spent his whole days by reading books and has been communicated with nobody. That kind of person, as a cliche, say too many things. But the cliche is cliche, if that make the player uncomfortable, then it needs to be changed. 

e. The mapping of lonnng castle.... you may realise my intention, the bigger maps, when you reached Ending D, C. The carpet.... it's a rich castle. Well.. I need to study more about medieval castle. Not fantasy ones, real one.

f. I agree with your chase scene discussion. I'm glad fifth one makes you scary. 

g. The castle has full of deception in old history. That's why, maybe the protagonist argued it before, so many locks in there. Don't worry. The castle was not a jail... or not. 

Actually, you have only 2 minutes to beat the game. So it's hard to write additional notes unless you beat all endings. Because your route is the shortest route, maybe made for judges. But it's failed as I uploaded false version... 

However, thanks for your detailed feedback. 

The new version is attached. And I change the mirror to Dropbox. 

 

[Housekeeping]

You weren't kidding--I was right at the end.  I guess one of my concerns is why did you make multiple endings?  The ending I got didn't feel very satisfying, and I recognize that this is because I didn't explore enough (I missed the first part of the note--I have parts two through seven).  If you include multiple endings, I feel like there should be a justification for it.  In Chrono Trigger, for example, the game was all about cause and effect, so the multiple endings made sense as you would see the results of your actions (or inactions) at different points in the story.  The multiple endings were there to highlight that the events of the game mattered.  For your game, I think that the central aspect of the game is about solving the mystery of the protagonist.  Finding notes is a part of that, but I wonder if these could have been mandatory instead of optional. 

I think that multiple endings could work, but why do you restrict the player's movement?  Because of the game's intentionally slow walk speed, it takes a lot of time to replay, so I would have liked to be able to just head back to the beginning and search for any missing notes on my current save file instead of having to restart the game.  So, I guess I can see why multiple endings exist in your game, but it feels like the game wasn't really designed around it in a way that doesn't punish the player.  I'm guilty of this, too, with the God of Crawling Eyes--I should have implemented a system to make previously read dialogue skippable. 

 

[kartersaint]

Actually you're the first person who finished shortest ending. And that's the happiest ending and possibly secret ending. Previous reviewers finished extended ending. And the person like Shayako, Shayako investigated whole area, that's why Shayako could finish Ending B. lol. Even sinnoaria, the connection between them may be they investigated whole area detailedly. As the game itself denoted the documents are the main factor of the game. (But now it isn't any more because I shortened the description.)

Skippable dialogue... I was saving my money due to the game will be announced to the commercial contest. I restricted the script that is able to do that. But I agree with your opinion. Since the game is very slow, I made a mistake for repeating the game. 

 

[Indrah]

Here's my very quick and sketchy take on the game (link for info on why it's so short and all that jazz)




This game is way too broken and badly written for me to comment. It’s an adventure/suspense game with a lot of writing focus, but the text is not understandable (I assume the developer isn’t very good at English).


Perhaps with a decent text execution, being able to dash and better mapping it would be a decent game, but as it is there is really nothing much I can say.


This is very obviously a very early game and it shows, so I can’t bash it that much.