The dumbest thing(s) you've ever had said to you

standardplayer

Keeper of Kitties
Veteran
Joined
Apr 6, 2016
Messages
657
Reaction score
3,051
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
N/A
So first of all, let me try to set some ground rules. This topic can be difficult to post on without being super mean, so PLEASE...try not to be too brutal. If you need to demonstrate that the author of the statement you wish to share is a little on the unintelligent side, try to make it lighthearted or funny, if possible.

Sometimes, you hear people say incredibly dumb things, for various reasons. Maybe they made a mistake. Maybe it made sense in their head but not out lout. Maybe they're just dumb.

My question is this: What are some of the dumbest things that have ever been said to you.
Avoid sharing anything you've heard from someone, read somewhere, saw on television/the internet.



Now, I have two statements I'd like to share, both authored by my stepmother, who we'll call Tracy. I'll refer to myself as John.

Tracy: "
John! Get in here!"
John: "Yeah?"
Tracy: "Your sister was out sick last week from school, and I'm writing an absence note, saying 'She was out of school for the week of -' now, is that spelled 'w-e-a-k', or 'w-e-k-e'?"
John: "Oh....its...umm...it's 'w-e-e-k'...."

Ohhh Tracy. Neither one was correct. And one of those isn't a real word.


Here's the second, and one of my favorite things that's ever been said to me. I was 18, planning on moving out. A friend of mine had moved to New Mexico, and their family knew what my home life was like, so they offered for me to move there and start a new life. Important note - we lived in the northeastern part of the United States. One night, just before Tracy went to bed, I decided to tell her.

John: "...Mom....?"
Tracy: "What?"
John: "Umm....Mike's family offered me a place to stay with them in New Mexico. I'm going to move there."
Tracy: "Well you're a [insert word] idiot. You don't know what you're doing, you're gonna fall on your face and I'm gonna laugh at you."
John: "....."

She walks out of the room, and I stand there for a moment, thinking about how glad I was to have it off of my chest. However, about 10 seconds later she walks back into the room, with a very condescending, sarcastic look on her face.

Tracy: "Uh, isn't there a little bit of WATER involved in getting to New Mexico??"
John: ".....No......it's between Texas and Arizona...."

Oh, poor Tracy. Not only did you not realize Mexico and New Mexico are two different places, and that one is a separate country..... you didn't realize that there isn't any water involved in getting to either of them....
 
Last edited:

BlueMage

Slime Lv99
Veteran
Joined
Apr 13, 2019
Messages
116
Reaction score
149
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
RMVX
Andy Ruiz defeat famous boxing champion Anthony Joshua?
 

Mr. Detective

NATO Special Operative
Veteran
Joined
Sep 9, 2012
Messages
618
Reaction score
206
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
N/A
Ah haha. I was going to make a thread similar to this, but you beat me to it. I recall having seen this question on reddit, too. :eek:
One of the most notoriously ridiculous conversation that I've seen mentioned is here: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=107926751

Your brain cells might die, so take caution. Hell, you might start to question your own judgement after the first page. Don't drink anything while reading it. :biggrin:
 
Last edited:

megumi014

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 8, 2017
Messages
130
Reaction score
212
First Language
Spanish
Primarily Uses
RMMV
I had a friend that believed that humans could survive 14 days without drinking water.

Another friend that was upset because apparently, when it rains, water falls from the sky and can wet your clothes (she made the discovery when she was 15).

And yet another friend that was cooking with her boyfriend and he told her that a trick to know if the spaghetti were well boiled was to throw one of them on a ceramic tile (of the wall) to see if it got stuck or slide down. She threw the spaguetti to a ceramic tile of the floor.

And well, since I have always worked at public-position jobs, there are many dumb things that customers can ask, but that could become a veeery long post. For example, one day a customer asked of we could make him a 15% discount because it was raining.
 

Silenity

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Dec 17, 2013
Messages
660
Reaction score
255
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
RMMV
Ah haha. I was going to make a thread similar to this, but you beat me to it. I recall having seen this question on reddit, too. :eek:
One of the most notoriously ridiculous conversation that I've seen mentioned is here: https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=107926751

Your brain cells might die, so take caution. Hell, you might start to question your own judgement after the first page. Don't drink anything while reading it. :biggrin:
jfc i dont know whether to laugh or cry. so ill do both.
 

standardplayer

Keeper of Kitties
Veteran
Joined
Apr 6, 2016
Messages
657
Reaction score
3,051
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
N/A
@Mr. Detective I was a little leery about making this thread cause things are usually pretty tame around here, but I have so many things I could post on the topic lol I had to

@megumi014 I worked retail for years, dealing with the public will definitely leave you with some very good stories.
>< 15% because it was raining? Lol I believe it
 

megumi014

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Mar 8, 2017
Messages
130
Reaction score
212
First Language
Spanish
Primarily Uses
RMMV
@standardplayer Retail is a battlefield of stories xD I remember that one day an old lady came and told me that she had found a kid sized doll on the garbage and wanted clothes to dress it up and "wouldn't be the greatest idea if I brought the doll to the shop on the first day of sales and you help me dress it up?" I had to politely decline lol

And when I sold train tickets this kind of conversation was almost a constant:
Person A: Where is the train to Barcelona?
Me: There, on platform 4.
Person A: (Looking at the train with suspicious eyes) But that is not the train that goes to Molins.
Me: No it's not. Where are you going?
Person A: To Martorell.
Me: Then why do you ask for the train to Barcelona?
Persona A: ...
Me: ...
Persona A: (walks away into the distance).

It can be fun though! Not exactly on topic because they are not dumb buuut now I work on a railway museum and I like to ask questions instead of explaining it all, specially when schools come to visit, to see what answers they come up with, and sometimes they are very creative xD For example, I like to ask "Why do you think this steam locomotive is green?" (because it was imported from England). And there were answers like "To make it prettier", "To camouflage with the herb" and my favourite from a 4 years old kid: "because green is the colour of hope" xD
 

Hyouryuu-Na

Procrastinates 24/7
Veteran
Joined
Jun 15, 2017
Messages
642
Reaction score
1,364
First Language
Not English
Primarily Uses
RMMV
My friends have always been sort of crazy. Not in a bad way though. It's why I love them. Here's that happened to one of them. We 5 friends went to to swim at the pool when we were at a resort. Being in Bangladesh we never really got to swim in a pool since it's not common here. So this friend, Fahabi (lol not a name. Let's just call her that) gave her phone to her mom before changing. After we got into the pool she realizrd she didn't have her phone. She went to her mom to take her phone. Auntie was in a daze apparently because she returned it. To her daughter, who was gonna go to the pool. And then whatever that should've happened, happened. Her phone stopped working.

After this incident I askee her "wth did you take it back? It was completely safe with your mom." "...I thought I'd swim and take pictures. I didn't think it'd get wet." Well we made fun of her for a long time after that for thinking she'll enter the pool but not get wet.

Another day, we were going to a small town in our car. My friend had lost a lens to her glasses. One of her lenses were 8 and another was 9 apparently. She was basically blind. So we were making fun of her blindness (yea we're pretty cruel) My other friend, let's call her Salmon pointed to a bunch of cows and said "Anna, what are those?" "...I can't see! But I guess they look like some black stuff... moving I think? Wait! Naked people?" And we made fun of her for a whole week after that.
 

LaFlibuste

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Jun 28, 2015
Messages
382
Reaction score
315
First Language
French
Primarily Uses
Another friend that was upset because apparently, when it rains, water falls from the sky and can wet your clothes (she made the discovery when she was 15).
There's a saying in Bretagne that goes "Rain only falls on dumbasses" (translation). Maybe she was unto something :p
 

gstv87

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Oct 20, 2015
Messages
2,187
Reaction score
1,164
First Language
Spanish
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
dad: "You always do that at night so nobody can hear you!"
me, I'm like: "Dude, you saying you've never heard me going up and down the stairs, opening the kitchen drawers, flushing the toilet, and you've NEVER, absolutely NEVER heard me blowing my nose?..... come on! I'm silent, but I'm not THAT silent!"

seriously.... everything happens in a volume not greater than 5 meters away from him, especially at night when the whole block is quiet, and the house is not particularly sound-proof.... it's literally impossible to not-hear me even with me putting extra care in being silent.
the next level would be submarine stealthy.
 

Finnuval

World (his)story builder and barrel of ideas
Veteran
Joined
Aug 1, 2018
Messages
1,868
Reaction score
6,166
First Language
Dutch
Primarily Uses
RMMV
Live long enough and you'll encounter all kinds of idiots...

One of my absolute favorites though is when someone simply refused to believe I was gay (despite me being in a relationship at the time with another boy) stating that "if you we're gay you wouldnt be able to draw Hot Girls like you do"...

Must be bliss if your life follows such simple rules
 

Hyouryuu-Na

Procrastinates 24/7
Veteran
Joined
Jun 15, 2017
Messages
642
Reaction score
1,364
First Language
Not English
Primarily Uses
RMMV
Ah! I just remember another thing. Our English 'teacher' wasn't very good in the 'english' department (yes, neither am I but at least I don't sprout sh*t) One day he was taking class. A girl was talking constantly so he went up to her and said:
"Let your eyes penetrate the book!"
...
A few days later he was talking about something. It meant something like
"If I make a mistake, you will stop me, tell me I did it wrong and propose a better solution."
Well... the above is just the meaning. What he really said was
"Push me down, handcuff me, propose me."
...I really do wonder how he is a teacher :")
 

Philosophus Vagus

The drunken bird dog of rpg maker
Veteran
Joined
May 22, 2017
Messages
293
Reaction score
4,384
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
RMMV
Stupidest conversation ive ever had. I'm 16, at a friends house. He invited another friend I didnt know.

Friend's friend: "y'all ever play Russian roulette?"
Friend: "no!"
Friend's friend (pulls out revolver) "relax man it is a blank" (takes the cartridge out to show us) "it'll just hurt a bit if you lose, thats all"
Friend " oh, well I guess that's fine.
Me: "let me see that a sec" (loads blank, places the muzzle in the dirt and fires, kicking up dirt.) "Do you idiots not understand how much pressure just the concussion of a firearms discharge causes at point blank range?" (Set gun down and leaves while friend and his friend are staring at the hole in the ground white faced)

People are just idiots. Lethaly so sometimes.

Another stupid one I experienced recently involved a cashier. I was checking out just getting oj and pizza sauce. Total was 4.33 and I hand her a 5, a quarter and a dime. She Looks at the change for a minute and tries to hand me back the quarter and dime and make change out of the five.

Me: No id like a dollar back.
Cashier: ive already punched in 5 though
Me: just subtract 4.33 from 5.35.
Cashier: wait so I give you two dollars?
Me: No, a dollar and 2 pennies. I dont even really care about the two pennies.
Cashier: its just weird because ive already punched 5 into the register. (Proceeds to count out the 67 cents the register says I'm owed and hand that and my 35 cents back to me)

I can forgive the fact that this woman is of working age in a country where education is mandatory to growing up, I pity her and shake my head in shame at the state of our test obsessed to the exclusion of actual education national curriculum but I can go about my day. But if you are that ignorant you just need to trust people, the fact that she felt the need to stick with what thw machine said like I was trying to trick her somehow really irked me at the time. If I were more of an ******* I would have demanded a manager and made a big embarrassing deal out of it for her.
 
Last edited:

bgillisp

Global Moderators
Global Mod
Joined
Jul 2, 2014
Messages
13,225
Reaction score
13,773
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
I worked in customer service for 2 years. Brace yourselves:

1: A guy called in to us saying: I'm going to walmart to buy a new phone. What's my new phone number? Keep in mind this was a landline phone we were talking about here. The representative who got this call was my neighbor and he had to put it on mute to keep from laughing in the guy's face, which is how I found out about it as he was laughing so hard over it.

2: We had people that could not understand why their phone was out when lightning had struck the main office all phones are routed through and melted many of the wires. How did they think their calls were made? Magic?

3: We had one person convinced that everyone was tapping his phone line and all representatives who names began with B were secretly working with the FBI against him. No idea how he came up with all of that.

4: And finally: The caller who decided to go into a swearing fit over their bill. It was obvious I wasn't going to get a word in edgewise, so I just took off my headset, went to the restroom, went to the break room, came back 15 minutes or so later and they were still going...hadn't even noticed I'd left. Guess someone was having a bad day?

(As for why I included 4...I consider it dumb to waste 15 minutes of your life swearing over a phone.)
 

standardplayer

Keeper of Kitties
Veteran
Joined
Apr 6, 2016
Messages
657
Reaction score
3,051
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
N/A
@bgillisp #1 is my favorite, some people....I don't know how they get dressed without strangling themselves, or take a drink without drowning ><

@Philosophus Vagus isn't it amazing sometimes, when you interact with someone who, say, handles money often, like a cashier and then reveals that they probably shouldn't be touching money at all?

@Hyouryuu-Na That pool story is great. I admit I've been in a position where I made a decision that made sense, forgot about the sense, and then unmade the decision. I can be a knucklehead sometimes ><

@megumi014 @megumi014 It doesn't sound like that person should have been riding trains by themselves, I sure hope they made it home alright...for all we know they're still searching for the right train today

@Finnuval some peoples' minds work in such interesting ways, don't they? Like someone will say something that makes no sense but explains everything you need to know about them!

@gstv87 sounds like the house could blow up around him, and as long as the bed went untouched he'd stay asleep until the sun came up or the alarm went off :b
 

gstv87

Veteran
Veteran
Joined
Oct 20, 2015
Messages
2,187
Reaction score
1,164
First Language
Spanish
Primarily Uses
RMVXA
sounds like the house could blow up around him, and as long as the bed went untouched he'd stay asleep until the sun came up or the alarm went off :b
actually,.... that's me.
I could snooze through WW3.
 

Kupotepo

Fantasy realist
Veteran
Joined
Jul 5, 2017
Messages
1,525
Reaction score
1,409
First Language
Thai
Primarily Uses
RMMV
Someone who I knew said the earth is flat. He rationalized if the earth is round why we do not feel the earth moving.
 

standardplayer

Keeper of Kitties
Veteran
Joined
Apr 6, 2016
Messages
657
Reaction score
3,051
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
N/A
@Kupotepo there are a lot of flat earthers, and they are my FAVORITE dumb statements EVER. I also just found out from my fiance 2 minutes ago that there are 'space deniers', as in people who deny the existence of space itself!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 

Darth Equus

I *HATE* Parallax Mapping.
Veteran
Joined
Feb 7, 2013
Messages
241
Reaction score
391
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
RMVX
Someone who I knew said the earth is flat. He rationalized if the earth is round why we do not feel the earth moving.
This reminds me of a silly story from when I was a kid, not something stupid per se, but funny: You see, back then I was left in the care of my grandmother and my uncles, for at least one year. The house my grandmother lived in had a very tall, pitched ceiling, and looking up from inside the house always caused me vertigo, to the point I felt the ground was moving from under me.

A couple of years later, I was invited to spend summer vacation at my grandmother's place, and I didn't want to go because I always felt the house was unstable due to the vertigo. My uncle Manny told me they had fixed the house by inserting some steel rods into the walls (Vertically) that were aligned with the Earth's magnetic field, thus keeping it stable; I didn't experience vertigo anymore upon visiting, thinking that my uncle's story was true. (I was taller and older, so the ceiling didn't seem as high to me, and thus no vertigo)

Now, for the actual dumb things:

"Does it make a difference if I type in capital numbers or lowercase numbers?" (Upon guiding someone to configure a router)

"How much is the red one that says $50, and what color is it?" (Selling some used phones. I kid you not.)

EDIT: Grew up in a country with a fair share of counterfeit or copy merchandise of inferior quality being sold every day, particularly when it comes to successful franchises, so back in the 80s, I pointed out to a classmate that a sweatshirt someone else was wearing was counterfeit:

Classmate: "How do you know it's not legit?"
Me: "Because it says "Ghostbastards" and not "Ghostbusters"
Classmate: "But that's how you say "Ghostbusters" in English."
 
Last edited:

standardplayer

Keeper of Kitties
Veteran
Joined
Apr 6, 2016
Messages
657
Reaction score
3,051
First Language
English
Primarily Uses
N/A
@Darth Equus Isn't it funny how easily we can be tricked when we're younger. As a child when I would stay with my Grandmother, I always had to use this spare blanket she had. Once I complained it was too short, and she said -

"Well it's a special blanket, when you fold it up, and then unfold it, it gets bigger."

I was convinced, and would fold and unfold it until I was satisfied with the length - which obviously never changed, because physics.

Also, both of those latter statements are amazing, I can't decide which one is funnier. Although I would pay to be the one dealing with the $50 red phone guy!
 

Users Who Are Viewing This Thread (Users: 0, Guests: 1)

Latest Threads

Latest Posts

Latest Profile Posts

So I have a lighter work schedule next week. Is that a sign to move on to MZ?
I got a new rpg idea yesterday, titled "The Hero We Summoned to Save Us is a War Criminal from our Past?!"
Work on Yanfly's MZ plug-ins is coming along nicely. Looking forward to getting them: http://www.yanfly.moe/wiki/Core_Engine_VisuStella_MZ
so uh variables can only be used for num lol? I guess I gotta fix that once MZ come out lol

Forum statistics

Threads
100,726
Messages
978,838
Members
132,352
Latest member
BM_ANDERSON
Top