The dumbest thing(s) you've ever had said to you

Darth Equus

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@standardplayer You sure the blanket wasn't made of the same fabric as Batman's cape? You know, the one that can become a glider? :stickytongue:
 

standardplayer

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@Darth Equus if so, I'm gonna need that blanket. I either want to glide and fight crime or I need a new computer. And maybe an Oculus.
 

Windows i7

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Someone once told me he always thought I was going to be one of those public shooters. I'm quite a peaceful person IRL so I have no idea what would make someone think that. I already knew the person who said that to me wasn't exactly the smartest to begin with though.
 

rue669

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An exgirlfriend and I were watching the show Spartacus, which takes place in the time of the Roman Empire in BCE. As we are watching a scene of the gladiators training and fighting each other, my ex turns to me and asks, in all honesty, “Why aren’t they using guns?”

It was embarrassingly funny.
 

standardplayer

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@rue669 That's a really good one, I don't think I'd even be able to break the news to her.
I'd have probably been like "....they ran out of ammo....."
 

lianderson

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Asked a co-worker what half of 300 was. He literally said 225. And yes, he was being serious.
 

Norjen

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Any time I talked about my issues anywhere, there'd be people with zero experience about mental illnesses telling me that I can't be depressed because I have this and that nice thing going for me. Gladly that was years ago and I don't have to hang around those people anymore, and the general attitude and knowledge in the society about mental issues have improved greatly.
 

standardplayer

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@Norjen there was a movie about 20 years ago called (I think) The Beach. This isn't a good way to encapsulate it, but there was a secret island where travelers had settled, and during the movie, someone is injured. They won't bring medical help to preserve the secrecy of their island, and they see his situation as a blow to the morale. So they drag him out of their settlement and isolate him.

My point is, I've never been a fan of people who are negatively concerned with another's happiness. There's a difference between people who want to know how you're doing and be there for you if it's needed, and people who want to persecute you for not fitting in with their 'happiness cult', as you obviously know.

They are the dumbest people in their own way, because they fall short (without sufficient reason) of successfully being human.
 

Tai_MT

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I've got two that I read fairly frequently online. They sort of make me irritated to read, and make me tend to no longer want to talk to people who say them to me.

1. "Don't judge people!" or "Don't judge a book by its cover!"

Listen, everyone judges everyone. All day. Every day. Whether they tell you or not. You're judging me just for judging you. Don't be a hypocrite and realize that no matter what you do, someone is going to have a problem with it. Someone is going to disagree with you. Someone is going to think less of you for something you've said, done, or think. This is the way of the world.

Furthermore, everyone judges books by their covers. Marketing wouldn't exist if people didn't. We do not have the time or patience to give everything in the world a chance. To give everyone a chance. By and large, 90% of everything in the world, we will not like all that much. The same applies to people. It's why most people don't typically have more than 5 friends. Don't get angry 'cause you were judged based on a first impression. Or, something you love, was judged on a first impression. People have different tastes, so they like different things. They gave it all the chance they were willing to give it. People also don't have time to spend years getting to know someone to see if maybe they're worth getting to know. First impressions are everything. Unfortunate, but true.

2. "You don't have a right to talk about X because you've never experienced it!".

This one angers me more than anything. It's called "Gatekeeping". People tend to use it to avoid having to deal with reality. Just because I have not experienced a particular event, situation, or what-have-you, does not mean my ideas or thoughts on it are invalid. If this statement uttered to people were ever REMOTELY valid... then only people who have actually committed a crime would be qualified to talk about others who have committed that crime.

Is it frustrating when people talk about things they know nothing about? Yes. Does that give you the right to Gatekeep those things? No. Instead of spouting nonsense, it is largely better to attempt to educate the person who doesn't know anything about what they're saying.

Personally, I've found that it rarely applies to "people talking about things they know nothing about" and has more to do with people being unwilling to defend their own points of view and their own behaviors, because to do so would make them look bad.
---
As for stuff people have said to me personally...

My dad after having got hold of me on my HOME PHONE which is a LAND LINE. "Oh, you are home!". My immediate response with no hesitation: "Nope, I'm not home at all. This is an illusion. You're talking to yourself."

A girl who went with me and my best friend down to a convenience store for a "snack run" for a party... she'd been silent most of the ride, but was looking up at the moon in the night sky while we waited for the gas pump to finish. She says, "Oh, the moon moves!". We both looked at her and busted up laughing. I said, "It sure does! All the time!"

A phone call I got from my mom, on my work line, while at work: "Hey, what're you doing?". Cue my immediate response. "Working. You called me on my work phone. What else would I be doing?" Cue 30 seconds of silence from her while she processed that information and I continued typing while waiting for her reply.

A friend of mine had a sister. I used to hang out at his place when I was younger. His family was basically my third family (complicated home life for me). His sister, one day, walked out to the living room while him and I were watching a movie (I believe it was Freddy Got Fingered, though I don't recall) and said to us, "Can you guys check the stove? I think it's broken. The water won't boil, and it's been like an hour." Cue us going into the kitchen, and immediately spotting that the stove isn't even turned on. We both got a pretty good laugh out of that, while she looked like she was about to die of embarrassment.

At Walmart, as I waited for staff to come back to see if they had a game in the back. The game release date had come and gone 3 days ago, and they had a slot cleared for it in the case (along with a price tag and a sticker saying it existed). I asked them if they just hadn't stocked it yet, or when it might be in. The staff said, "our system says it's in stock, but it's not in the case, let me go to the back and see if I can find it". While waiting for over an hour at the counter... I get asked by a lady, "Hey, can you unlock this so we can take a look at this calculator?". I stare at her blankly. Now, I'm wearing my work clothes. Dark blue shirt (two shades away from black), a pair of khaki pants, and a lanyard with my State Employee ID on it... that has emblazoned all across the lanyard, what department I work for. I figured out why she thought I worked there fairly quickly, but then asked her, "What does my name tag say?" She blushes, having realized her mistake. I don't stop, "Does it look like I'm carrying a set of keys on me like the staff do?" She says, "no". I say, "Does the color of my shirt match the color of the Walmart shirts?" She turns away and says nothing. Was I jerk here? Yes. She's not the person who said the stupid thing. Two minutes later, someone else in the department, who had been there as long as she had... comes up and asks me, "Do you work here?". I guess they weren't paying attention to the conversation I just had. So dumb. I hold up my ID to them. I let them read it. They walk off.

As I walked down the street, passing by the local library, a car stopped me. "Hey, do you know where the Library is?". I pointed to my left, at the big sign on the front of the building. They looked pretty sheepish and drove off without saying anything else.
---

Honestly, there are no shortage of stupid things people have said to me or asked of me. These are just off the top of my head.
 

standardplayer

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@Tai_MT oh I'm very familiar with Gatekeeping. I saw a hilarious thing on Reddit where someone went on a rant IN FAVOR of Gatekeeping, defending it and the like. Someone responded with "Dude....are you gatekeeping....gatekeeping?"
It's getting worse as time goes on ><

I did have something really dumb said to me, and a lot of us have experienced this one.
You get a hair cut, at some point in your life. A significant one. More than a few inches. Completely changes the way you look. At least one person asks
"Did you get your hair cut?"
To which I once answered
"No, it fell off when I was sleeping."
 

Darth Equus

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I did have something really dumb said to me, and a lot of us have experienced this one.
You get a hair cut, at some point in your life. A significant one. More than a few inches. Completely changes the way you look. At least one person asks
"Did you get your hair cut?"
To which I once answered
"No, it fell off when I was sleeping."
A better way to initiate that conversation would be "I see you got a haircut". That way the change is acknowledged, and the person in question will feel free to share with the friend or coworker whatever they want to in regards to the matter. Just my two cents.
 

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Whenever someone tells me or any other retail/restaurant worker to “slow down you’re going too fast” in regards to just working, not just talking to them. Every instant we slow down is one more a manager can get mad at us for, one more second we could have used to complete x or y, or one more customer flipping their lid for needing to wait. *sigh*
 

Finnuval

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Got a new one for you:

My initals start with F. A. and so do my son's initals. Recently another parent at his school 'discovered' this and she approached me and with a seriuos face asked me "did you notice that?" to wich I simply replied "nope, I Just drew a name from a hat. Didn't you?"

In her defense though... Some ppl probably are stupid enough not to notice something like that when naming their kid xD
 

gstv87

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Some ppl probably are stupid enough not to notice something like that when naming their kid
some people are stupid enough to not even notice the kid, period.

I just recalled an instance when I was working at my mom's shop, she runs a school/office supply store right next to a school.
in a place like that, with so many people coming and going, you get to meet the students, see them through their scholarship and whatnot, and there's always *that girl*.
this was *that girl*, she was looking for some candy, and I was on watch:
-"Hey do you have anything chocolate?" (BIG candy display stand right in front of her)
-"Well, you have tablets, candy, pastries..."
-"Anything for 50 cents?"
-"These right here,.... these other ones... or these ones...."
-"How much are those?"
-".....50 cents?"

she was sweet tho, it wasn't too bad.
 
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mazzy-elf

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My sister is a Gem for these there are so many I can't think of them but my favourite is when we went to Morocco on holiday and there's a map on the wall and this is literally just after the flight so we're tired and cranky and she pipes up "Egypt is in Africa!?" My mum and I look at each other like 'processing' and then I finally say "what?" "Egypt is in Africa." "Are you kidding me?" "No look it's on this map." "Yeah I know Egypt is in Africa... How the hell did you NOT know Egypt is in Africa?" "I thought it was an island" "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU SEEN THE MUMMY?"
meanwhile my mum can barely breathe through laughing.
 

bgillisp

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I just remembered this one, it's about 20 years old but still a good one. For this one you need to know that I did work as a telemarketer for a while in college. Well, our company decided to change us from selling credit cards to small business membership subscriptions. Now the dumb part:

"To get a sale they must give you their bank account number and routing number over the phone."

Yeah, let's think about that for a minute. We cold called these people and they had to give us access to their bank account so we could debit them $80 to subscribe to this program. Wanna guess how many sales we got as an entire center in the one week we called it before we went back to credit cards?
 

standardplayer

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@mazzy-elf that's a great story, it reminds me of the one I originally posted on this thread, where my stepmother not only thought that New Mexico was the same thing as Mexico, but she thought that there was 'water' involved' in getting there - from the mainland US. The sad thing is, there isn't even water involved in getting to the real Mexico from the mainland US.

That's awesome though, I'm not gonna lie though, sometimes when I 'remember' Egypt is in Africa, I'm like....'oh yeah...well where else would I have thought it was?'

@bgillisp I've done the call center thing, although it was for a bank, collecting on small businesses that owed more than 3 months of payments. Getting THEIR checking/routing number was hard if it was through a different bank, and they owed us money lol. I'm not surprised to hear that they went back to their previous gig.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it. Or at least, if you don't know how, don't try to fix it :D
 

bgillisp

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@standardplayer : Yep, it shouldn't surprise anyone that after one week we dropped it. And BTW, we sold 1 sale of it as an entire center in one week of calling it. The one sale the employee had to call him back, then give him his supervisor's number let him call his supervisor, then call him a third time to get the lone sale.

I really wonder who thought that calling people cold and needing their bank number and routing number for a sale was a good idea for a sales program with all of the scams out there?
 

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