I like that you're doing your own style. This is good, I like it, you did a good job of incorporating my critique and making it your own, I think it looks better. I'm not fond of the outline being lighter than the shadows. It might work in some places, give the impression of reflected light, but reflected light has to bounce off something so it doesn't work on areas that are far away from anything. It's also tricky if you're new to shadows. I personally think you should go darker all around or do multiple shades, where the darker parts have darker outlines and the lighter parts have the lighter ones. Something I like to do to keep things my own style is to find as many examples of what I'm trying to do as I can, use lots of references. Something I also sometimes do is study the references to get an idea of what I like and then purposefully not look at it as I work, let the fallacies of memory put some of my own spin into the concept. Do you have a better idea of what I'm talking about with the detailed edges to go on for a while or should we try workshopping another part of your mockup next?