I'm confused about the argument at hand, mostly because I can't really understand the way you phrased the original questions or the follow-ups.
But let me say this:
The gender of the playable lead should have virtually no impact on whether or not you are interested in playing the game, nor should it break your immersion. If it does, they're doing it wrong.
If a game has an all-female cast or a only female playables (or vice versa), then there's likely a world-based reason for it. The only time this isn't the case is if the only playable character is a silent/outsider protagonist and EVEN THEN there are a lot of instances where it just wouldn't feel right to make the gender swappable.
Consider LoZ; Silent protagonist, single playable, gender technically has no impact on the story, and you can choose whatever name you want (except in BoW). You could have, in theory, made Link's gender nonexistant or swappable and literally had no impact on the gameplay or story (even characters like Malon fawning over him as a her would still be totally fine). Somehow I think I'd have really mixed feelings about a female Link (though mostly because I'd be demanding that we be given the opportunity to play as Zelda but I digress).
In a non-game example, take a look at Steven Universe (though I guess this counts because of Attack the Light). There are TONS of complaints from people (mostly males) asking why there aren't any male gems. And... that's kind of the point of the whole series??? It's a plot point, so playing/following the story as Steven is important, and Steven wouldn't be able to deliver the same story if he was a Sue or a Sally, ya know? And it's funny because while he's the main character, in Attack the Light only the gems (female) get to fight; he's just backup/support (which is also a plot point).
I'm not saying there aren't instances where players should be given the option to swap/choose. There are tons of games where putting a female as the lead is a deliberate ploy for attention and the character is basically, to quote the term, a "fighting **** toy" - meant mostly to be "badass" but only in a sexy/moe/male-gaze kinda way. Those are the people who are doing it wrong, IMO.
Also it could just be that there are a ton of female indie game devs out there making the games they always wanted to play growing up cuz that's totally a thing. Or you could just gravitate towards the type of game/gameplay that tends to statistically have female leads, who knows.